Wishing Only Wounds the Heart
A Tumnus and Lucy Romance
Notes: I own nothing.
Acknowledgements: This could not have been done without the great help from our very own in the Tumnus Fan Club, Sanaryelle, and my betas on livejournal and to also everyone's crazy love at this story. A great huge THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! I am simply blown away! To those of you that weren't signed in when you reviewed, I have responses below the story because there are so many.
Dedication: With love to those of you that ship Tumnus and Lucy with a passion.
It was a long way back to Cair Paravel, but Lucy was too wrapped up in her thoughts to hurry the journey along. Tumnus was a dear friend and she had always wanted to see him pass down his Faun traditions to his children, and it seemed that he had finally found that someone to do it with. Her hands loosened on the reigns ever so slightly, as she felt a sharp pain in her heart that could only be from the realization caused by knowing that she was not the one he had found. As she steadied her breathing, she tried to convince herself that she was happy for him, finding what he had been wanting all these years, but it was false. The pain was too deep for her to ignore. She had been thinking that she was the girl; it would clearly explain his bewildering actions these past weeks. The youngest Queen of Narnia left Tumnus' home early these days, fearing lest she say something that she would regret. And Lucy believed that if she didn't, then Tumnus would. He always acted as if he was going to say something that he had been practicing for a long time, before declining in favor of performing some mundane task or going on the standby topic of asking how life was as a Queen of Narnia.
When she arrived at Cair Paravel, the night sky was dark and the stars were dancing in the sky, but the Queen took no notice of the charming sight as she made her way directly to her bedchambers. Sitting in front of her mirror, she ran a brush through her long hair, absently wondering what the Lady Faun (for it had to be a Faun) looked like. She probably had curly hair, Lucy figured, and tried in vain for the next half hour to get her own hair to curl, only to have it become a hopelessly tangled mess. Throwing her brush down in frustration, she glared at her own face in the glass, realizing suddenly that it was wet, and upon touching it found that it must have been so for quite some time. Without realizing it, she had been crying ever since leaving Tumnus's home.
Tumnus.
Shutting her eyes, she tried to clear him from her mind. He had found his someone, shouldn't she be happy for him and move on? Opening her eyes, she mouthed his name to herself, Tumnus. Since when had she started to refer to him as that? It was so intimate that she felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Dear Tumnus and his ways…but no, this wasn't helping. Fauns and Fauns, Humans and Humans, wasn't that how the unwritten law went? And besides, what could she offer him?
Every way she looked at it, Lucy found herself getting more and more upset. There was no end to her trouble, or at least, no end to produce a happy ending.
Her mind abruptly darted off in another direction and she wondered why he had not told her of such news. Perhaps he was waiting for the right moment. He was very kind after all and didn't want to hurt her feelings by making her think that he had replaced her with someone else. Nodding with determination, Lucy agreed aloud, yes, yes, he would tell her the happy news soon and she would be glad for him. She would act the part of a dear friend, for that was surely what he believed her to be, and nothing more would come of it.
But as Lucy lay in bed, she could not fool even herself as her hand went slipping underneath her pillow to retrieve a handkerchief that he had presented her with at her crowning. Burying her face in the soft fabric, she closed her eyes once more and fell into a deep and troubled sleep.
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To peterssweetheart534: I simply love WICKED and the song just seemed to fit with the idea I had. Thank you! I'm so glad you like it!
To Claudette: James McAvoy is officially the hottest thing since sliced bread, so his playing Tumnus just makes me squee. Thank you for your encouragement! I do plan on making this a 'good length' as you put it. Thanks again!
To SheWhoDoesn'tFeelLikeLogingIn: hands over handful of tissues Oh don't sob so dramatically! It'll be okay..well, actually it'll be worse but it will get better!
To mike's girl: I am continuing, no worries!
To buttoned.up: I am emailing you right this instant to tell you that I'm updating! I hope it sends! And I'm sorry you're getting teary-eyed again!
To Erin: WICKED is love and the fact that it goes so well with this..well, I couldn't be happier. And I'm glad you liked the connection too! Yay for being a huge T/L fan! We totally need to start a group, lol.
To Orriana: Thank you! I'm glad you like it! I hope you liked this chapter as well!
To PhoenixFyre: I'm glad you love it! I won't give any hints to the ending, though, I apologize about that.
To Fuchsia: Thank you. The Tumnus Fan Club was a bit of a joke, but now that you mention it, I just might have one of these 'forums' that I can create to be just that .. yeah I'm a loser, lol. I must defend my scarf idea though. I'm sorry that you didn't care for it because I love it to parts. It ties into "The Untold Tales of Tumnus and Lucy: Part Five: The Tradition of Wearing Scarves", and that story got started because of that sentence in this story. But I am glad that you stuck with it, thanks.
To mike's girl: I love Lucy and Tumnus as well. They are uber sweet together.
To Robin: I hope you liked this update as much as the last one! I was a bit afraid of doing a romance, but said to heck with it and kept on. Glad I did, because you seem to really enjoy it!
To Lobo Diablo Lone Wolf: Ah good, I like hooking my readers. Thanks for the encouragement!