Love and Marriage
Chapter Thirteen

The next morning Sam woke up slowly, keeping her eyes closed for as long as possible. Her head felt like it had been stomped on by an elephant and she wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep and wake up when it hurt less. So she instinctively went to pull her pillow closer to her but was shocked when her hands met warm flash instead of a cold pillow. "That's not my pillow." She said quietly as she opened her eyes and saw that she was naked and cuddled up with and equally naked Martin. She could only imagine the funny look of shock and confusion that was undoubtedly on her face.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up." Martin gave her a small, awkward smile. "Good morning." He had been watching her for the past half hour, wanting to savor the moment while he could. When he woke up he was surprised to have Sam practically laying on top of him and using him as a body pillow. He was just as confused at first as she seemed to be right now until he remembered the events of the previous night.

Last night had been absolutely amazing—quite possibly the best sex they had ever had. He was certain that it was the best sex that he'd ever experienced and, judging by the ways Sam screamed his name, he was certain that it was good for her too. Now though, they were awake and not under the influence of alcohol. Now they had to deal with the fact that they failed Leslie's assignment and didn't talk about any of their problems. Now things were bound to get awkward.

Sam stared at him as memories of last night flooded her mind. They had sex…multiple times. Well that explained why most of her muscles ached so much. But now what? What were they supposed to do now? They hadn't used this time to talk, like Leslie wanted them to do. Instead they got drunk and jumped into bed together. That wasn't going to solve any of their problems—it never had in the past. "How much did we have to drink?"

"Too much." Came his reply as he noticed that she still hadn't pulled away from him yet. They were still tangled up together in the bed and she still had her head resting on his chest.

"Does your head hurt too?" She asked, afraid to move. If she could, she would stay here in bed with him like this forever. She felt safe and loved with his arms wrapped tightly around her, and she wasn't ready to give that up yet because she knew that it would end as soon as she let go.

They didn't speak much as they had sex last night except for the times when they screamed each other's names. No 'I love you's' were exchanged, no light teasing was initiated. It was just a joining of two bodies that, in that moment, needed each other. While her physical needs had been more than fulfilled, it left her heart empty and sad.

"Oh yeah." He answered, happy that they were at least still talking to each other. He had expected her to pull away from him once she woke up and then they would go back to the way they were with each other before they got drunk. But maybe they last night could be some kind of new beginning for them.

She slowly pulled herself away from him, keeping herself wrapped up in a sheet and moving to sit on the side of the bed. She couldn't believe that she had let herself get so carried away last night. Getting drunk and practically throwing herself at him wasn't the greatest idea in the world and now what was she supposed to do?

She had basically dared him to kiss her, dared him to have sex with her. That's not the way it's supposed to be in a marriage. Although she wasn't an expert in the way married people are supposed to act, she knew enough to know that a the husband and wife shouldn't have to be drunk in order to have sex.

He watched her pull away and sit with her back to him, wondering what was going on in her mind. What was she thinking about? Had he said something wrong this morning? No, he was certain that he hadn't said anything this morning that could possibly incite an argument. So why was she pulling away from him? Was she regretting last night?

He was afraid that this would happen. She'd wake up and instantly regret the fact that they had sex and then they'd be right back where they started from. He should have listened to that voice inside his mind that told him not to give in; he should've had more self-control. But he was only a man—a man with needs.

She stood up, hoping to make it to the bathroom before he tried to talk about what happened. She needed some time to process everything; she needed time to figure out what they were going to do now.

"Sam…" He called out once he saw her stand up. They needed to talk about what happened so that things between them didn't get worse. "Are we going to talk about this?"

Holding the sheet around her body tighter, she turned her head to look at him. She had made herself extremely vulnerable to him last night. She had trusted him with her heart last night, but now in the light of day, she wasn't sure she could. "I want to take a shower before we go pick Claire up. Can't this wait?"

He could see it in her face and her posture. She was pulling away from him again. They had been able to share something last night. They understood each other and he thought that they had broken down some of the barriers between them. Apparently though, she didn't feel the same way. He shifted in the bed so that he was now sitting up with his back against the headboard. "No, I don't think it can. Don't you have anything to say about last night?"

"What do you want me to say Martin?" She finally asked softly. What did he want from her? What was he expecting? She had no clue anymore.

He sighed. He wanted her to say that she loved him. He wanted her to say that their problems didn't mean anything in the end because they loved each other and that would be enough to get them through. He wanted her to say that last night was a start of a new beginning. He wanted her to say that their marriage wasn't ending, when in reality it felt like it was. There were many things that he wanted her to say, but she wasn't going to say them. "Nothing Sam. Just go take your shower."

There was a coldness in his voice that sent chills down her spine. She took one last look at him, noting that his shoulders were slumped over and he looked resigned. Not wanting to be caught staring at him, she quickly made her way into the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower. She discarded the sheet into a ball on the floor as she climbed into the shower.

All she wanted was for Martin to love her again like he used to. Was that so much to ask for? Apparently it was since she had to get him drunk in order for him to touch her. He used to want her all the time and not only when he had a couple of beers. Her tears mixed with the water from the shower as she wept for what she'd lost.