Love and Marriage

Chapter Seventeen

When Martin opened his eyes, the first thing that registered in his mind was the extreme amount of pain that was radiating around his leg. It took him a few seconds to remember that he was in the hospital because he was shot, which explained why his leg hurt so much. He was still groggy from the surgery and had to stare at the sight in front of him to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. Sam was fast asleep, clutching his hand and resting her head on his stomach. It was such an intimate scene, one that most married couples would think nothing about, but for Martin it was enough to send his mind into overdrive.

Why was she here? Danny must have obviously called her, but why was she still here? Was she actually worried about him? And why was she holding onto his hand and clinging to him? They were fighting with each other earlier this morning. Now here she was acting like a caring, concerned wife. This confused him; Sam confused him. She was always confusing him. It was just one of the many things that she excelled at.

He didn't want to get his hopes up and start believing that she was really worried about him because she still loved him and that's why she was still here. So he rationalized that she was probably still here because she felt bad for him being shot. She was probably just here out of pity and sympathy, not wanting him to be alone when he woke up. She'd probably leave as soon as he woke up.

He was debating whether or not to wake her up when he noticed that she was starting to wake up on her own. Their eyes met and for a second he could've sworn that he saw something familiar flash across he face. It looked like relief, happiness and…love? "Hey." He softly greeted, in too much pain to smile.

"Hey." She replied, raising up her head and sitting up. She kept her hand intertwined with his though, not ready to break off all physical contact with him yet. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I've been shot." He answered, attempting to make a joke.

She failed to see the humor in his joke. This was the second time that he'd been shot and although this time wasn't nearly as serious as the last time, she was still scared out of her mind with worry for him. "Are you in a lot of pain? Do you want me to get the nurse to give you something?"

Surprised that she was offering to do things for him, he soon realized that she probably just felt bad for him. After all, she had been shot in the leg before and knew how painful it was. "Maybe later." He replied. The reason he didn't have her go get him some painkillers was because he wanted to see just how long she was going to keep hold of his hand. He didn't mind that she had commandeered it, taking it over as if it was simply an extension of her own, but he was curious about her presence here and her attitude towards him.

There was an awkward silence for a few moments as they both waited for the other to speak first. "So what happened out there?" She finally asked, realizing that she had completely forgotten to ask Danny about what happened.

"I got distracted and that led to me getting shot." He replied, not wanting to go into tons of details right now.

"Distracted?" She questioned. He was never distracted when out in the field; he was one of the most focused agents she'd ever known. What could have distracted him so much that he would end up allowing himself to get shot?

"Yeah, distracted." Martin repeated. "I was too caught up in my own thoughts to notice that the guy had a gun."

He didn't have to say it, deep down she knew that he was distracted because of thoughts about their marriage and its' problems. It was partially her fault that he got shot and that didn't make her feel well.

He wanted desperately to change the subject so he stuck to a topic that he knew they wouldn't fight about. "So if you're here right now, where is Claire?"

Happy with the subject change, she smiled. "She's spending the night at Sarah's house, remember?"

"Oh yeah." He nodded, remembering that Claire was having a sleepover. "That was tonight."

"I haven't told her about you yet. I wanted to wait until morning." Sam explained.

"That's a good idea." Martin agreed.

She stared at their joined hands, wondering why he hadn't pulled his away yet. Maybe he was still too groggy from the anesthesia to notice, maybe he didn't care enough to pull away, or maybe he was happy about it. She couldn't tell. His face was unreadable and she had no idea what he was thinking.

So she tried to put herself in his shoes. If she had just woken up from surgery and found Martin clutching her hand, she would be confused. After all, they weren't on the best of speaking terms and were barely civil to each other this morning. So maybe he was simply confused and that's the reason why he was so guarded with his emotions. Maybe she needed to make the first move and show him that she was here because she cared.

"You had me really worried." She confessed, hoping to break down one of the many walls that separated them. "When Danny called and told me that you'd been shot I thought…well, I was scared."

He watched her cautiously, wondering what to do now. She was confessing that she was worried about him earlier. While that was a good sign to know that she cared, he couldn't help but wonder why she was scared. Was it just because she didn't want to have to tell Claire that her father was shot and killed? Or was she also scared that he would leave her forever by getting himself killed? "Scared of what?" He finally gathered up enough courage to ask. He needed to know.

She closed her eyes and bit her lip. He wasn't going to make this easy for her; she could see that now. He was actually going to make her say it. It was understandable though because she would do the same thing if she were in his place. Besides that, he was the one who just got shot. It was the least she could do. Meeting his gaze, she replied, "I was scared of losing you because that's the last thing I want. I l--" She was about to say when she heard the door to his room open.

"Sorry. Am I interrupting anything?" A tall, female nurse asked as she approached Martin's bed.

"No." Sam lied, frustrated that the nurse interrupted her. She was finally confessing things that Martin needed to know. It was a nice moment that was ruined now.

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked Martin, taking his vitals.

"I've been better." Martin replied keeping his eyes glued on Sam. She was baring part of her soul to him, and she might have been starting to tell him that she loved him. But this good-intentioned nurse interrupted them.

"Would you like some pain medication?" The nurse held a syringe in her hand, poised and ready to release it into his IV.

"That would be nice." He nodded. "Thanks."

"It's no problem." The nurse smiled, pushing the painkiller directly into Martin's IV. "This is a very fast acting painkiller. You should start feeling the effects soon."

"I think I already am." Martin replied, yawning.

"Yeah, this will help you get some rest also." The nurse assured him. "I'll be back to check your vitals again soon."

Once the nurse was gone, Sam wasn't sure what to do. Should she continue with what she was talking about earlier? Or had the moment for confessions passed? Finally she decided to say what she was going to say before they were interrupted. "Martin, I l…" She looked over at him and noticed that his eyes were closed and he was asleep already. Sighing, she realized that she had bad luck.

"Figures that he's already sleeping." Her hand was still holding onto his and she gave it a small squeeze as she stared at their hands. Figuring that she could use the practice, she went ahead anyway. "What I was going to say is that I love you, but I guess it will have to wait until a time when we won't be interrupted and you're not sleeping."

Martin was hovering in a state between being awake and being asleep when he heard Sam's voice. He heard every word she said, but pretended to still be sleeping. Though he couldn't help but allow a small smile form on his face when he heard her say that she loved him.