A/N...in place of an OOC YET AGAIN!- Well, not much to say...THANK YOU TO THE REVIEWERS! I love you guys! begins throwing out random LotR and PotC merchandise School's almost over, so hopefully posting will be a bit more often...Finals and stuff and taking up a lot of time. On to Chapter Three! Wootness!

Chapter 3

Jamie's POV

The door flew open.

THUD.

"Oh, crap! Chelsea, are you alright!?" I questioned her as I looked on.

"YES!" she screamed with apparent glee.

After a long talk

"What happened? Okay, it's your turn to spill," Chelsea directed at me. I practically whispered the words, "oh…nothing."

"And what does "Oh, nothing" stand for?" she quizzically said as she smirked at me.

(OOC: God, I suck at anything mysterious).

I tried to understand the sharp glare of inquisition in Chelsea's eyes, but it wasn't easy.

"WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!"

"Nothing is always something," she muttered.

I cracked.

(OOC: Writer's block. Grr. Hehe, pirate pen…grr, I hate writer's block. I hate a lot of things.)

As I was about to get into a long conversation, Legolas and Valandil entered the room.

Chelsea shrieked at the sight of Valandil and shoved her pajamas back into the dressed. The quick slam of the drawer caused the delicate handle to come off. She screeched again.

"OH MY GOD, I'M SO SORRY! YOU …startled…ME!!" She gave a little chuckle after that. Valandil shifted his weight and shrugged.

"S'okay. Never liked it anyways. Fogetta 'bout it."

I almost exploded from laughter.

Both princes got an amazingly hot confused face, and Chelsea joined my laughter.

Chelsea barely managed to say: "Wow, memories of my love for Will."

Confuzelledness. (OOC: lol)

After what seemed like hours of laughing, Chelsea blurted out to Legolas: "So, what's going on between you and Jamie?"

My face turned red with embarrassment.

Legolas actually laughed and replied: "You'll see soon enough."

Chelsea's expression made me want to say, in a sardonic voice, of course, "Who's confuzelled now?!"

Chelsea's POV

"We just came to tell you that Lord Elrond has commanded departure of your quest tomorrow morning," Valandil said, still bemused at our laughing fit.

"We will return tomorrow morning at 7 o'clock. Good night," Legolas said soberly. I kicked Jamie discreetly.

"What?!" she snapped.

"You're drooling," I hissed.

Jamie wiped her mouth. "Ewww…"

The two Elvish twins turned to go. "WAIT!" I yelled. They stopped and turned back around. I walked up to them and began to sing…

"Come on babe

Why don't we paint the town?

And all that jazz?

I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down

…And all that jazz!"

Jamie and I received more strange looks as we fell down from laughing so hard. "See ya later, sweet cheeks!" I choked out in the Chicago Mafia tone of voice. Tears began to fall from our mirth.

"Who would have thought it? Elves are part of the Mafia?" Jamie sighed wiping her eyes. This succeeded in cracking us up further.

I was back home at last. Or was I? I was in between the two dimensions…Middle Earth and my home. I wavered between the two, uncertain where to jump…until the rock I had been standing on broke. I was falling into the darkness until a hand grasped mine. I was pulled back on land. In Middle Earth, with Valandil by my side.

"Will you stay with me?" he asked, my hands still in his. Without realizing it, I nodded. He took my face in his hands and leaned closer….

"Chelsea! GET UP!" Jamie screeched.

"Mmph."

"Chelsea, we're late! It's 6:45!"

Late my butt. You just woke me up from a really, really, really good dream… I pulled several blankets and 3 pillows over my head. All sound was muffled. I heard frustrated footsteps stomp out of the room. Ah, yes…reclaim my sleep…

No sooner had I drifted off, I heard two pairs of feet stomp in.

"Lady Chelsea, it's time to leave…"I heard Legolas say, trying to pry a pillow off my head.

"SNURF!" I grunted, wrapping the blankets closer to me.

"Chelsea, please?" Jamie pleaded.

"Bleagot."

I heard muttering and more pairs of feet entered.

"Lady of the River, our quest is nigh. Please awaken," I heard Aragorn say.

"Carag."

"Come, Red Haired Girl from a distant land! There's …erm… "shiny stuff" out here!" Boromir snickered. Like shiny items are going to make me get up. Frodo and Sam tried to get me up to no avail.

I was serious about my inability to get up in the morning.

I felt someone shake me, and nearly got up, but my fatigue was greater.

"Valawen, you have you go…" Valandil whispered. Ooh…my desire to glomp almost overrode my desire to sleep. Still, no avail.

"My lords, and ladies, you have a half hour to 8 o' clock. I suggest you hasten your pace," some Elf said. I heard two pairs of feet exit (obviously, Merry and Pippin weren't up either). Muttering ensued. I heard someone open the door, and the next thing I knew, I was on the floor. Cursing at the wizard in nonsense followed. The entire Fellowship (save for the hobbits), and Valandil of course, was in my and Jamie's room. I stood up, still wrapped in a blanket, and glared at them all.

"You shall pay…" I hissed, trying to impersonate Samara in The Ring. Jamie shooed them out as I shuffled to the bathroom to start getting ready.

10 minutes later, I emerged in a dark green Elvish tunic that was feminine, but not so much that I couldn't walk. It laced up to my neck, where it kind of "v-necked", and the top went down to my knees, like a dress, over brown pants. Very odd, but pretty. Two Elvish maids came in to tie Jamie's and my hair up in complicated updos that would keep out of the way when kicking Orc butt. At 8:10, we left our room for the last time; lugging everything we owned in new Elvish bags (they were light, and very big. They carried much, but didn't affect the weight. Would come in handy very often…).

After breakfast and final preparations, we had an hour to say goodbye to Rivendell. I walked along another small river (Jamie had taken the main paths). Stealthily and silently, Valandil fell into my step.

"So you're not coming?" I said quietly.

He shook his head. "Father will need someone to aid him in Mirkwood."

I stopped, "This is goodbye, then."

"We will meet soon. I'll always be watching over the Fellowship," he smiled sadly. My watch informed me it was noon, therefore time to leave.

"Goodbye, Valandil," I whispered. (Subliminal messaging- SNOG ME!!! SNOG ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE, YOU FOOL!) He grinned once more and pressed my hand to his lips.

"Until we meet again," he said.

The Fellowship was gathered by the exit of Rivendell. After many tearful farewells, we began walking. I had turned for my last look at Rivendell.

What I saw was one Elvish prince, smiling sadly and waving regally. A tear fell, but I disguised it, as we turned left as the Fellowship of the Ring. United, or we would fall. I waved back as we left.

"Until we meet again."

A/N- Erm….it was the emo? dodges random objects thrown at Authorette EEEEP! I'm sorry! I got a bit sappy there…but Valandil will be out of the picture soon. And the parodyishness will continue. And there will be much rejoicing. Huzzah.

Come on people, REVIEW! What do I have to do, hire a mascot? locks eyes with the Twin Gods of Hottness…

REVERT INTO STORY MODE! (as screenplay isn't allowed. Grr.)

The Authorette steps out from behind her computer, spotting her prey. Legolas and Valandil are by a tree, drinking Fruit Punch Powerade.

"What a lovely day it is, isn't it boys…?" the Authorette cackles merrily.

"Oh, Valar…run. Save yourself, brother. I will deal with this caffeine high fangirl," Valandil says bravely.

"Ah, but you forgot my minions…" The Authorette continues, snapping her fingers. Hordes of fangirls miraculously appear. The Twin Gods of Hottness try to run…but the fangirls tackle them…and the Authorette pulls out a burlap sack…

The Authorette stands, handing out $20s to the fangirls. "Thank you for your help. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

Yet another Day Later

Leggy and Valandil are standing by the road, wearing a chicken costume (Leggy) and a giant Diet Coke can costume (Valandil). They halfheartedly hold up signs, stating "REVIEW THE FIC OR ELSE WE'LL BE FORCED TO STAND OUT HERE LIKE THIS FOREVER!"

The Authorette and Jamie appear.

"Here. Take this sign," Jamie smiles.

"Oh, Valar…"

What did the sign say, may you ask?

"REVIEW THE STORY AND THE TWIN GODS OF HOTNESS WILL BE FORCED TO RUN AROUND SHIRTLESS!"

And now a word from our sponsors…

REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

End Story Mode

Teehee…I love being hyper at night.

Stepho- My God…I love your review. I LOVE THE RANDOM VOICE! huggles random voice Yeah…um…maybe because #1…I write waaay too much. And #2… Strikes are powerful things. "I'M NOT WRITING ANY MORE UNTIL YOU TELL ME WHAT MEANS!" "I'M NOT WRITING ANY MORE UNTIL YOU WRITE 4 PAGES!" Madness. Sheer madness. "…"s aren't overused. It's better than using just a "." After everything. I'm so glad you like this! Our one faithful reviewer…you and Stefola…tear. Random Hot Elves roxor. Just wait until Lorien…just wait until Lorien…cackles

Cosmos Senshi- SCORE! A reviewer travelling from the far reaches of LFAMSOM! That looks kinda freaky...anyways, yeah, it's called "Fangirl" for a reason...lol. THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING!

Um…yeah. Next chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading.