Trying But Not Succeeding
The world was truly set against her. Maybe the vine-climbing hadn't been that good of an idea, but still, it was something. And the one about swimming out of his drain would have worked if it had been wide enough to let her body through. Climbing out the window using bed sheets had worked in the movies, but then again, they had never been watched as closely as Kagome was and now she had a guard watching her room, coming to check every fifteen minutes or so. The countless others over the weeks had obviously been failures—she was still there.
But this one was going to work, she was sure of it. Kagome had been blocked off from more than half the rooms in Sesshoumaru's castle, but she hadn't been blocked from the servants' corridors or work areas.
Right then, she stood in a dust-filled room used for storage with Rin, stacking boxes to reach the window at the top of one of the side walls. Old furniture and antiques lay piled about the room, covered in canvas to keep from aging too much. The two companions had to work around everything to keep from toppling over; whatever remained packed in those boxes weighed heavily on their arms as they moved them.
"Just a little bit more, Rin, and then I'll see if I can get that sweet I promised you," she huffed out as she set another box down, forming her makeshift stair.
"Yay! Rin—," she cleared her throat when Kagome gave her a stern look. "I mean I am very curious about this ice-cream stuff."
During her stay, Kagome had been working hard to relieve Rin of her apparent want to refer to herself in third person. As Rin was nearly seven years of age, it was a wonder she was still doing that. It often made Kagome wonder as to what parentage she came from or what type of mothering she had had.
Kagome smiled as she set down yet another crate of heaven knew what. Straightening, she patted Rin on the head lightly in a loving gesture.
"Well, I think that's it." She looked up, judging the distance. "Let's see if this sucker works."
Rin gave her a puzzled look. "What's a su-ker?"
Kagome blushed as she looked back down at Rin. "It's, uh, a new type of sweet food that comes from where I live. You just put it on your mouth and kind of lick it and suck on it."
"Oh…"
Kagome started climbing the crates before Rin could begin asking questions about her strange phrase. Careful to avoid splinters, she worked her way up the towering mass of wood. A crude nail snagged at her kimono, ripping seems and holes when she became careless. But she prevailed and reached the top.
"It worked!" She laughed to herself, almost dancing on the top of the narrowly stacked tower.
She could see out the window if she stood on the tips of her toes and leaned back a bit. Lots of green grass and beautiful landscape met her gaze as she looked out upon freedom.
"Oh, Kagome-sama! Sesshoumaru-sama is here! He can see what we did!"
Before Kagome could stop her, Rin started running to the door shouting his name. "Sesshoumaru-sama, Sesshoumaru-sama! Look what we've made!"
Oh, crap! Dread seeped into Kagome as she scrabbled for the edge of the window, scrapping her nails along the stone wall at the same time. The stair they had built barely reached the window, giving her just enough leeway to pull herself up through the windowpane. Not this time! I'm almost out!
With all the strength she could muster, she jumped off the boxes, giving her more arm length, and grasped the sides of the window, pulling her body up and nearly half-way through. She heard the crashing off boxes below her as she dragged her body up to her waist near freedom. Must've knocked the boxes down with my jump. Kagome smiled at the ground below her, not really caring for a moment that she had no way down the other side.
"Kagome-sama! Our tower fell! Don't worry, though! Sesshoumaru-sama's coming up to save you!"
That shout of comfort brought weights down in her stomach. Kagome pulled harder, trying to heave her body out faster than it could go. As fast as she was trying to go, Kagome's hips halted her movements; her body could only go sideways out the window and she had inadvertently tried to go out the other way.
No! Not when it's this close! No! She stifled a sob as her hands clawed at the unyielding stone.
She wasn't going to go back. Not after weeks of failed escape plans. All those times when she almost made it, but didn't. She wasn't going to give up, not now, not ever.
She almost shouted for joy as she managed to twist her body back to the side. But her joy was stopped immediately as a very familiar hand grasped her waist, pulling her back as easy as a boat slicing through water.
"NO!" She struggled against her captor, not realizing the height at which they both hovered over the ground. Kagome fought, tiny claws and all, against the foe she wished she didn't have to see. "No, no, no!"
"Don't worry! Kagome-sama is safe now!" Rin's voice called happily.
Kagome just sobbed in return, not really realizing her surroundings, wallowing in her sorrow.
Her escape, her plan, and the sun she had felt—gone. Oh, how it hurt. She had almost gotten out, almost succeeded. The loss was agonizing in its magnitude.
Kagome's sobs rang in the room, not quite ricocheting off the walls as Sesshoumaru lowered to the ground.
It wasn't fair. What did she do to deserve this? She just wanted to go home. Her family most likely was sitting around the house biting their nails in anticipation and worry. No doubt Kagome's mother was keeping them all from panicking.
Kagome's sobs began to dwindle and her senses returned to normal. But with the onset of her wits, she took in her settings once again.
She couldn't hear Rin. No pattering of little feet sounded in the room. No voice was to be heard of a little girl singing or asking strange questions. Guessing that Sesshoumaru wanted to give her another lecture or tell her she wasn't allowed here anymore, Kagome took it as nothing serious.
Her sense of touch came in full blast after that little summery of Rin's whereabouts. Her hands were fisted up in some soft fabric—obviously something very expensive. The body she had not noticed she was leaning on stood straight and hard— so very non-servant like. Wet spots made damp impressions on the fabric her head had lain close to.
Fear soon began to take hold. She was in a room, alone, with the most powerful youkai she had ever known. On top of that, she had unwittingly cried all over him, holding him in place while her tears welled and soaked into his costly garments. Oh yes, she was frightened.
Quickly, Kagome untwined her fingers from the fabric, trembling fingers working to smooth out the crinkles she had made. She stepped back, keeping her eyes on the floor so she wouldn't have to look at him and wiped the remnants of her tears away.
"Forgive me, Sesshoumaru-sama. I was not aware that you were here." The same response she used each time. But right then it didn't feel enough. She felt compelled to add something, anything. "I, uh, I should have watched Rin more closely." Oh yeah, that was really good.
The silence stretched.
Bearing the quiet no longer, Kagome raised her head to look at her captor.
Sesshoumaru looked down with the same face he always had when he caught her—blank and cold. He always looked like that. It seemed his features never changed; the beauty frozen like ice.
Still, the hush expanded. Neither spoke, neither looked away.
She was swathed in fear. It emanated off her like too strong perfume. He began to hate the feeling of it from her, hate the smell, like mud sliding on his skin. It didn't matter that he tried to make her fear him before. Now he despised it.
Despite the times he wanted to force himself to think or feel otherwise, he could no longer. The weeks having her there with him—it felt different. He heard Rin laugh more, felt happiness swirl around his home and he became drunk on it, became drunk on the feel and smell of the stuff.
Amazingly enough, Sesshoumaru was the first to look away.
"Go to your room."
Dismissed as a child. A child! The phrase brought a flush to Kagome's cheeks as she turned sharply around and walked off, her fear lessening with anger. For a moment, she thought of trying another escape, but dismissed it as she caught sight of the guard walking some distance from her from the corner of her eye. Drat that man!
The red remained in her cheeks long after she had reached her new bedchamber across from her master's. She had heard the lock click and the bolt shoved home. No way out through the door.
Glancing up at her window, she sighed in defeat. They had built shutters covering the window that never opened after the time she had tried climbing out with the bed sheets. No more escape for me.
Both parties felt the days pass like years, felt the minutes like hours. Servants felt the need to avoid any more contact with the master than need be. The guards watching the prisoner did a swift overview of the room before they left.
Kagome remained in her room, having her meals sent to her. Rin came for her lessons in the afternoon and left directly when they finished. She was allowed no more visitors than the ones who brought her the necessities she needed.
Sesshoumaru's foul mood dampened the atmosphere of everyone around him. No one wanted to stay in his presence for long.
He never had female company anymore…not since she came. Women failed to entertain him except for her.
From the time she came to the castle, he had her monitored. When a guard was not present to watch her, he was—from the shadows, of course. Sesshoumaru always intervened when he deemed appropriate.
The times she thought she had nearly escaped, he would let her get practically there and stop her. Before hand, Sesshoumaru wouldn't even allow her that far, but it seemed harmless after a while. The only reason for the restrictions helped to bring her ire up and liven her spirit; he loved to watch her aura when she was angry.
But now, the castle had a shadow over it. Kagome's anger and resentment, Sesshoumaru's loss and confusion. Neither would confess it, but they both felt it.
Sesshoumaru now stayed long hours in his secret library. Reluctantly he left it to do the duties of his household, but otherwise, he remained glued to one of the chairs, staring into space. Nothing brought him any piece anymore but that lone room.
Drat him, drat him, drat him! Kagome couldn't sleep. She paced the breadth of her room, her hated room, ignoring the beautiful tapestries and fine clothes lining its walls. She had had more than enough time to learn every corner and crevice of her cell for her imprisonment there.
Her beginning fascination with those confining walls had dwindled since her first nights in it. Nice sheets, flowers, beautiful carpets. It meant nothing except a painting to cover her captivity. Now she beat those carpets into oblivion with her feet, continuing to walk back and forth.
Kagome had become accustomed to passing the long nights by her walking. There seemed no cure to her restlessness, no relief.
At last, her feet began to slow, then stumble as her body wearied. But no relief remained for her mind. She lay down on her bed, arms crossed beneath her head, and kept her eyes riveted on the ceiling, her hated ceiling.
She hoped in a few more days he would let her roam the castle again. Even with her restrictions she wouldn't care, just as long as she was free of this room. Maybe he would even allow her to go back to that library of his and read.
Her thoughts began to become muddled. She wasn't planning on falling asleep, but heavy lids dropped and her breathing slowed. In mere moments, no thoughts save those in the dream-world remained.
Sesshoumaru was the first to detect it. After the quick rounds of his land, he had smelled a slight hint of musk in the air. Soon enough, once he reached the castle, a light gray tinge of air had begun to float into the air, but he knew it would become greater.
Kagome! He swiftly came into his manor, heading toward her bedchamber. Smoke filtered through the house high above his head and rushing servants passed him, but he didn't see them. Within minutes, Sesshoumaru came to her room and crashed through the door.
For a few moments he was taken aback. There she was, innocently asleep and unaware of the danger that now threatened her, interestingly still clothed in her rumpled outfit.
He moved over and sat down on the bed, ready to shake her awake. But no need arose for her eyes shot open and panic filled them as she saw him. To stop the screaming that was inevitable, Sesshoumaru placed a hand over her mouth and pressed her into the bed.
"Don't make me gag you."
He felt her swallow and close her lips.
As he removed his hand, he spoke swiftly. "We need to move now. The house is burning and there won't be much time left to leave if we delay any longer. Get up and let's move."
"Rin!"
He'd forgotten about Rin.
"We'll grab her along the way. Come now." He offered her his hand. She hesitated, glancing at his claws, before taking it and lifting herself from the bed.
As they ran, Kagome asked, "How did this happen?!"
Sesshoumaru was saved from asking as they reached Rin's bedroom and opened the door. Kagome got in before him and picked the sleeping girl up from her bed, carrying her as carefully as she could.
Sesshoumaru wasn't sure if Kagome could bear the weight for long, but from the determined look on her face, she was set against having him take her.
Leading them out, Sesshoumaru weaved through working and frantic servants with Kagome jogging to keep up. The fast pace jarred little Rin from her sleep as the group searched for an exit.
A little yawn and hands rubbing her eyes were the only signs of waking before she spoke.
"What's going on?" she asked in a small voice.
Kagome patted her head and repositioned her to secure her weight as she replied hurriedly, "Nothing Rin. Just go back to sleep."
Rin just nodded, closing her eyes, and lay her head in the crook of Kagome's neck, content to leave them to whatever they were doing.
"How much farther?"
Sesshoumaru glanced back to make sure she kept up before replying. "Not much. We're almost there."
Sesshoumaru's prediction came true as they hustled along the hall and sighted the big double doors at the front of his grand hall.
Kagome was thankful for she didn't think she could keep up the pace for much longer while holding Rin. She could already feel the jabs of soreness working their way up her legs and through her arms.
Servants rushed in and out of those doors, some carrying water in, others carrying furniture and such out. The troop urgently continued on through the throng of people, only getting out because of the slim chance that some recognized their master and stepped out of the way.
Kagome, holding Rin, and Sesshoumaru managed to come out and away from the castle for some distance.
Kagome collapsed on the ground, grateful to be allowed to sit and gently laid the sleeping girl on the soft grass beside her. She smoothed her hair and skirt, disgruntled to find char on her hands and kimono.
"I'm going back to retrieve some items. Keep Rin safe." Sesshoumaru, true to his word, stepped away and swiftly walked back into his home.
As Kagome sat, brushing Rin's hair out of her face, an idea popped into her mind making her eyes widen in revelation. I could leave. I can go now and there is no way he could stop me. I'll be free. Her hand continued to stroke Rin's mane as she looked down at the child with softened eyes. But should I leave Rin by herself? Kagome's hand stopped caressing Rin and she stared down at the child. If I want to leave, I have to go now. This may be my only chance. Kagome placed a reverent kiss upon the child's head and stood. I must go.
Kagome turned her back and began to walk away. Walk away from the home she had held for months. She was walking away from the little girl that had found a place in her heart with her smiling, innocent face. She was walking away from the life she has come to know. She walked on.
Sesshoumaru grabbed the small intricately carved box and stuffed it under his armor, raising his arm once again to cover his mouth. He hurried out the door and used all the speed he could muster in his tired body to run to the door. Sesshoumaru ran out of his home of youth and adulthood that might not be saved and came back to Rin.
Just Rin.
He should have known, should have realized his mistake. But why should it bother him so? He could get a different nanny; one of the servants could keep Rin while he searched. But the yearning for Kagome was set in him.
Reluctantly, Sesshoumaru realized, for the first time, he cared for this girl. The human he had put under guard meant something to him. He acknowledged that fact with dread and a bit of longing.
But she was gone. Nothing could bring her back. Besides, he didn't care for her that much. No, he didn't need her.
His claw fingered the small box hidden below his armor. Maybe he should do an in-depth inspection of his lands. Yes, that's what he'd do. And perhaps he would find the girl. He was just going over his land holdings, that was all, nothing more. The girl was just an added bonus.
I'm sorry! I know I've taken forever, but I had a major case of writer's block. And I haven't been able to get on the computer for such a long time. ^^* I know it's a sorry excuse, but that's all I can offer for now. Hate me, love me, but please, review for me.