/Jamie's POV
As we set our on our Quest from Rivendell, to lighten the mood Legolas started singing in a slow voice. I didn't recognize the song, but does anything Legolas say make sense…?
I stayed by his side throughout the first day, for I knew not how to get to Mordor. And besides, who wouldn't love being close to him?
Oh, my…his ears are so CUTE!, I thought to myself.
As the day moved on and so did we, Chelsea moped along in a sullen face all day. Departing from Rivendell had clearly taken its toll on her. I can't imagine leaving Legolas.
I dropped back from Legolas' side, picking my way over rocks and other stuff, to where Valawen sulked.
"Are we elves? I mean, you have an Elvish name and I'll adopt mine from Elf Day…Hehe, Amaürea sounds funny, but I like it. And we both love Valandil and Legolas in our own little way, so…" I rambled on.
"Do me a favor? Shut up," she said in a very firm voice.
"O.O…" I looked on totally bewildered. "Val- oh, never mind," I whispered as I left her company.
"Today…", I thought, "…is a good day to meet the others." No sooner had I said that, crowding around me were four little hobbits.
"Aww…little Samwise," I said as I tigged the one next to Frodo. Pippin, or Peregrin, and Meriadoc jumped on my arm and pulled on it. For little beings, they were rather heavy.
"Pip, this one's stronger than we thought!" Merry shouted to his cousin as they struggled to bring me to the ground.
"And what do you plan on doing to me after you've pulled me down?" I said in a hysterical voice. I was laughing so much they were able to pull me down.
Our quest began with energy. Gandalf, Frodo, and Sam were in the very front, with Boromir, Gimli, Merry, and Pippin following. Legolas and Jamie were towards the back, and I was as far in back as Aragorn would allow. I tried reasoning. I tried begging. I tried threatening. But nothing worked. So I began to sulk.
"And so begins our journey on this bleak Christmas day!" Jamie announced cheerfully. A few smiles were given, but as my petulance settled, I could barely manage.
As we walked through the wilderness, I grew darker. For many reasons too…
One- I was woken up at the ungodly hour of 7AM.
Two- The quest was deadly and there was no way of escaping that conclusion.
Three- I was really hungry and craving caffeine.
Four- It was excruciatingly cold!
Yes, the list goes on for another hundred reasons. And of course, I had no Elvish companion. Super superficial, I know, but not only was he hot, I had fun talking with him too. Fricking Elf hotness.
The day persisted. Frodo seemed lightly troubled (as did Sam), Gandalf was humming the Walking Song, Boromir and Aragorn lost in thought, Merry and Pippin singing softly or "tigging" each other, Gimli rambling on about "HIS AXE!", and Legolas thinking while Jamie stared, often tripping over a rock.
It occurred to be that there was a lot of thinking going on, so I might as well join in.
Around 5PM, Jamie ran back to walk with me (stumbling over a rock or two). "Are we elves? I mean, you have an Elvish name, and…"
That's about when I tuned out. Not to be rude, mind you, but I knew if I kept listening, I would:
A. Burst into tears, or
B. Turn into Uber Biznitch.
So Jamie's blathering turned into something hike this:
"BzzzzzzzzzzzzzzadoptbzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzElfDaybzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzAmaüreabzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzlove Valandil…"
PANG! A strong pain hit me, and it was not an enemy arrow. Valandil…when Jamie uttered that, UberBiznitch went into full control.
"…In our own little way, so…"
"Do me a favor? Shut up," I said, trying to close my throat off from screaming. Jamie's face took on a surprised and confused look.
"Val-oh, never mind…" she said softly, walking back to Legolas. It wasn't until I saw her laugh and him smile like he never had before I realized how alone I was…and once again, I started to cry. Or try to. My mind and my tear ducts are vastly different things. Three tears slipped by until my mind built a Hoover Dam.
"Stop it," I silently scolded myself, beginning to hasten my pace.
"It's about time," I heard Aragorn mutter. A smile broke free despite my wishes.
Well if I don't have my hot Elf, I'll refuse to mope like a Mary Sue, and take CHARGE!, my mind commanded joyously. I began walking faster still, and STRONGER! I was fangirl, hear me roar! But a minute later, my pace slowed.
He's a beautatious prince and probably has beautatious Elf women fawning over him. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE!, my evil mind laughed.
"Shut UP!" I growled. Aragorn looked at me, eyebrows raised. "Inner demons," I offered.
"Ah."
And so we walked, or more correctly, trudged. The hobbits were barely awake, and everyone else (save for Gandalf, Aragorn, and Legolas) was beginning to show signs of fatigue. I glanced at my watch: 5:43AM. We had been walking for 13 hours.
Gandalf refused to stop until we were going slower than snails and getting nowhere. The faintest bits of dawn were fingering the sky. When we did stop it was by a large rock, which provided shelter and camouflage. By this time, Valandil had drifted to the back of my mind. My feet ached. I scarcely made it to the back of the rock before my legs gave out. Using my pack as a pillow (not too squishy), I fell asleep within seconds.
Our watch (Legolas… claiming he wasn't tired) woke everyone 6 and a quarter hours later. I sat up and saw Jamie nearby, rubbing her eyes. I yawned.
"Jamie?"
She looked over, curiously wary.
"I'm sorry about yesterday…"
She smiled: "Hey, as they say in Jamaica, "No problem, mon!""
I laughed, "And so begins Day Two of our epic journey…"
We stepped out into the midday sunlight. Legolas was still trying to wake up Merry and Pippin (ha, good luck) with the help of Aragorn. Jamie looked over all longingly at Sir Legs-a-Lot, but strode over with me to the small circle of Frodo, Sam, Boromir, and Gimli with me.
"The Breakfast Club!" I laughed like a maniac. No one got it. Oh, sigh. My genius is greatly under-appreciated. I plopped down and grabbed a piece of dry whatever-it-was ( I don't think I want to know). Regarding it apprehensively, I bit into it.
And spat it out.
"EW! WHAT IS THIS?! Wait, don't tell me, I don't think I want to know…"I complained. Frodo and Sam looked like they agreed, and Jamie refused to eat it. I went off in search of real food.
A moment later, I returned with granola bars and Diet Mountain Dew. I finished the granola quickly and began to chug the Dew. Jamie started to chant: "Chug! Chug! Chug!"
"Now all we have to do is wait for the caffeine to kick in…" I said pleasantly, sitting back. Jamie finished off her "breakfast".
"Earth girls are…. revolting," Gimli said "discreetly" (or so he thought).
"Shut it, dwarfy!" I glared, throwing a plastic, 20 oz Mountain Dew bottle at his head. It made a satisfying "CLUNK".
5 minutes later, right before we left, the caffeine kicked in.
Let's just say the Fellowship's fears about "deranged", "revolting", "strange" Earth girls were confirmed.
Ooh, caffeine. Imagine an Elf on caffeine.
Haha. Heehee. Teehee. Lol. Roffle. I give up.
I was trying very hard not to fall asleep on…I think it's Gimli's shoulder, but EW, whoever it is smells. Oh, it's Boromir. Gross…
"Jamie…. Jamie…. JAMIE!" screamed Chelsea.
"Ahahahahaha," I muttered. Chelsea shook me even harder, but the 6-¼ hours of sleep I had gotten weren't enough.
"Let me sleep in peace," I muttered, pushing her off me. Seconds later, I regretted ever saying/doing that.
As we trudged on, I could feel the cold against my body, and my sopping hair lay on my shoulders.
"Corsets sure hold water a long time," I thought aloud as I stubbed my toe against a huge boulder. At this comment, Chelsea burst into tears (from laughter, of course). I glared at her while I rubbed my swollen toe.
"WHY ME?!" I yelled, looking up into the gray sky.
After receiving revolting looks, and a "what's up with her?" from Frodo, I thought about something…
"Who am I talking to? Do they have a God in Middle Earth?" I said to myself.
Jamie was questioning the various deities of Middle Earth. Legolas sighed, but was grinning with an air of smugness:
"Here in Middle Earth, at least in Elvish lands, we have a multitude of Gods known as the Valar…" he began to lecture.
"Hi, I'm Legolas Greenleaf, and I'll be your history teacher for this lesson…" I muttered as I breezed past. Jamie burst into laughter as Legolas scowled. Curse that Elvish hearing!
I walked up front near the hobbits. Sam gave me a suspicious look, and Frodo looked wary and tired. Merry and Pippin smiled (score!).
"Good afternoon, lovely hobbits!" I grinned. Sam and Frodo's looks continued.
"I don't believe we've been properly introduced. I'm Chelsea Maynarde, but I go by several other names as well. My Hobbit Day name was Belladonna Burrows, but if you can think of something better, please share it," I rambled. Frodo began to snicker.
"What is it, Mr. Frodo?" Sam asked, adjusting his pack.
"Belladonna was the name of Bilbo's mother," he managed to say between snickers. No one else was familiar with this person, but we all smiled and nodded like we understood. It appeared this small piece of information had lifted some weight from Frodo's shoulders.
"Pleased to meet you, Miss Belladonna. But I think I'll stick with Chelsea, thank you," Frodo smiled.
"It eliminates confusion. I don't blame you," I shrugged. Sam still regarded me cautiously.
"And you're Mr. Samwise Gamgee, am I not correct?" I smiled.
He nodded warily.
"I've heard nothing but positives about your cooking. Hopefully, I will have the luck to taste it," I said.
Ok, so I was being way OOC. So sue me.
Well anyway, San warmed up a little after that. I walked, talked, and sang with the hobbits all day. Lovely people they are. Our long walk continued, with nothing but cold and exhaustion. We stopped at midnight for rest (11 hour walk this time) in an unfamiliar area. Aragorn and Legolas had first watch.
Once again, I was asleep within seconds.
The place was familiar, but I didn't know where I was. Golden leaves hung from the trees, and water flowed somewhere nearby. Wherever I was, I was alone. I followed the sound of water until I came to a clear river. I looked in to see my horribly distorted reflection. I sighed and the water rippled. There isn't a difference between me and the girl in the water; only her oblivion to the real world.
A hand found mine. I looked up quickly to see Valandil, smiling.
"I told you I'd watch over the Fellowship," he grinned. I laughed and then a thought hit me.
"If I'm dreaming, how can I believe you?" I frowned.
He laughed: "Who said you were dreaming?"
Confusion.
"You are asleep right now, yes, but I have found a way to be connected mentally while you sleep," he said, staring around the heavily wooded and watered landscape.
"It isn't dark magic?" I whispered. He looked hurt.
"Of course not. What…you think me in league with Sauron?"
His fair Elven face was becoming stretched and distorted into a mask of evil, and when it spoke, I wanted to scream, to run…
"You know the quest will fail, and all shall succumb to darkness, and he will be killed before your very eyes. You will cry for help, but find torture. There is nowhere to hide…"
And images flashed before me…houses burning, pain, and death…
A bleeding Valandil, eyes open and unseeing, mouth parted as if he were trying to speak before his end. A scream burst from me, and I fall into darkness…
I woke up, freezing and gasping for air. Only a dream…a silly nightmare.
Seeing the shades of night comforted me somewhat. I knew I wouldn't fall back asleep, so I packed my bag and walked over to the night guard, careful not to wake anyone. Frodo's brow was knitted when I walked by. Poor hobbit…having to take on such a task. But with his fanbase, he'll pull through.
It was dark: no moon, no stars. Just black skies and cold air. I've never lived in a snowy climate, but I'd say this is what it is like before a storm.
I approached Legolas and Aragorn (who looked dead on his feet…even though he was sitting…). Legolas turned around quickly, suspicion fixed onto his face.
"Aragorn, I'll take over watch if you want to sleep," I whispered.
"No. You should be asleep. I'm fine."
What followed this retort was an idiotic conversation that lasted five minutes. It only ended when an irritated Legolas told Aragorn his watch was complete and he could leave. Aragorn stumbled away to a clear spot and fell asleep.
Silence.
"So why aren't you asleep? It has been made known that Earth girls need more than eight hours of sleep, and you've had a quarter of that," Legolas said.
"Woah. It's 2AM?"
"It would appear so, yes."
"It's just…I'm worried about Jamie," I sighed dramatically. Legolas's fancy Elvish ears perked up.
"Is she ill?" he asked in concern.
I had to stifle my laughter.
"I don't know how much longer she'll survive…"
His eyes widened, and part of me felt bad…but 99% of me was cracking up.
"…It's been three months since she last saw Pirates of the Caribbean and she hasn't had those cheesy whatsits in forever…"
Something between a sigh of relief and agitation was breathed by Sir Legs-a-Lot. "That was not humorous in the slightest," he glared.
"Au contraire, mi Elf al la amigo loco…" I snickered. What I said to made about as much sense to me as it did to him (i.e.-none at all). "Yes, I am a well known Serial Elf Torturer…" I freeze.
"You're starting to sound a lot like your older brother now…"
And the looks of Valandil came rushing back, almost as sudden as the tears from my eyes.
Legolas was surprised in the least. He patted my shoulder awkwardly.
When my impromptu sobs had ended, the air seemed strangely still.
"I suppose it's "none of my business"?" Legolas smiled weakly. I considered telling him about the strange dream I had, but decided against it. I nodded.
"Thanks."
BEGONE, THOUGHTS OF VALANDIL, BEGONE!
"So, Monsieur Eggo, I'm curious…what was your childhood like?" I asked, beginning to make GRASS JEWELRY! (For all those who don't know, that's when you take pieces of grass and braid them together. Voila! Bracelets, rings, necklaces, anklets galore! Yes, it is folly. Yes, I was ludicrously bored.)
"Why are you interested in Middle Earth now?" he questioned, seeming to be fed up with my girlish, crazy self. I pretended to be hurt.
"My dear Waffle King! Is this how you treat foreigners!?" I exclaimed softly. He sighed, but began to talk:
"I was born 2,931 years ago to my father, Thranduil, and my mother…"
I zoned out. My grass jewelry had reached a grand total of 3 rings, a bracelet, and a necklace. I could sell these for millions of dollars. If my last name was Gucci.
As I braided the grass together, I began to picture various people doing the Barbossa. For all those who don't know…the Barbossa is a dance that combines the Johnny Bravo type of dancing (where you move your arms up and down) and the wave (where a "wave" goes up your arms). Hard to explain actually.
Anyway, I pictured various people doing the Barbossa: Merry, Pippin, Frodo, Samwise, Boromir, Legolas (Teehee), Aragorn (snigger), Elrond (rofl), Denethor (cackle), the Witch King (his name is really an oxymoron…witches aren't men, kings aren't females…except for Hapshetsut…was it Hapshetsut?…SHUT UP, BRAIN, SHUT UP!).
All provided small sources of entertainment until I got to Gandalf. I tell you, that sent me into hysterics. I was literally rolling around the floor laughing silently (I didn't want to wake anyone up) as Legolas stared on in confusion.
"I just told you my mother died. How may I ask, is that amusing?" he spoke after my hysteria subsided.
Oops.
"Um…gut reaction?" I supplied.
"I do not know if I can bear to tell you anymore," he sighed.
"Oh, continue the tale, Waffle King," I yawned. (Ordered. Whatever.)
"Very well. But only because we have hours ahead of the watch and you may die of ennui. And I do not wish to be held responsible…
"After my mother died, Valandil and I began to rely on each other. My father is a good person, but not a…paternal type. Our childhoods were entwined, but as we grew, we grew apart. There is now a gap between us, even if we appear close…" he paused.
Ooh, family drama!
"Why did you grow apart?" I questioned.
"Well…Valandil was never much of a ruling type. He's much too…free spirited. But he was expected to be sovereign, as he is the elder of the two of us…"
"Woah. Rewind and FREEZE! Valandil's the OLDER ONE?!"
Legolas frowned. "I was always told so…but now that I think…it seemed Father only said that when he expected Valandil to rule…until he turned so rebellious-", ooh, rebels are hot,"-and he turned to me…" He stared over the mountains. Crap. I brought out residual memories. I truly am a SET.
I began my 16th piece of Grass Jewelry.
Legolas roused the others at 7AM. My grass jewelry collection had neared 50, and I was covered in it (5 rings, 7 necklaces, one ring on a necklace, 10 bracelets on each arm, and 5 anklets on each leg. I made Legolas wear a necklace. Oh all right, I blackmailed him into wearing it. With what? That is a secret I am taking with me to the grave.
Or possibly next week.
Jamie stumbled out, still blinking in the morning cloud.
"What are you doing up?" she yawned.
"Um…couldn't sleep?" I lied.
"Right. You can always sleep. You may not tell me now, but I'll find out. I will," she said in a scarily good impersonation of Anamaria.
"My poor, poor Pervy Elf Fancier…"
"I AM NOT PERVY!"
"…what you need is caffeine."
I went to my bag and returned with one Diet Cherry Coke and one Mountain Dew. Jamie gazed at it like it was the Messiah, or at the very least, Rei, and opened it with a shhhht. We chugged the caffeinated paradises down.
Before we set out, the groggy Fellowship groaned.
The only thing scarier than one girl on caffeine is two girls on caffeine…
/Jamie's POV
After downing our caffeinated beverage I got a cool idea…
"Yoooooouuuuuu caaaaaaann….DRINK YOUR FANCY ALES, YOU CAN DRINK THEM BY THE FLAGON! BUT THE ONLY BREW FOR THE BRAVE AND TRUEEE! COMES FROM THE GREEN DRAGON!"
We sung and danced the morn away, "we" as in Frodo, Merry, Sam, Pippin, Chelsea, and me.
After our Hobbit Dancing Frenzy, Chelsea gave a shot at teaching the wee ones "If I Were a Rich Man" and "Hollywood Dot Com". And to no surprise, they picked it up quite well. Sam had left us. According to him: "We would wake up every Orc in Middle Earth with this racket!"
And we probably did.
After what was definitely hours of walking, a mountain appeared on the horizon.
A/N- SCHOOL'S OUT! Still don't have the RotK DVD. Too tired to type any more idiotic A/Ns.
Cosmos Senshi- Bwaha. You'll just have to wait until next chapter now! AAAAHAHAHAHA! –wicked evil laughter- Sorry, I am just too tired to type anything up.
PLEASE REVIEW! –keels over, dead-