Disclaimer- Still don't own. La…di…da.
-Chelsea's POV-
When our traveling ensemble had run out of songs for our repertoire, we were trudging uphill. Yes, between the six of us, we managed to sing 8 hours worth of songs. The rest of the Fellowship muttering to Eru (Legolas), walking with dazed looks (Sam; Gandalf), twitching (Gimli; slightly Boromir), or sighing (Aragorn).
Ah the powers of annoyance.
And so we trudged on. For the next week.
We had stopped at a nice large rock. It was late afternoon, and still cold. Gandalf and Gimli were arguing over the Mines of Moria, Frodo sleeping, Sam was MIA (but I suspected he was cooking), Legolas…er…staring at something, Boromir teaching Merry and Pippin to fight, and Aragorn smoking.
"My dear Aragorn…smoking is bad for your health," I tsked. He laughed.
"Yeah, if you keep it up…your nails and teeth will turn black!" Jamie said. His eyes widened.
"And your lungs will shrivel up…" I added.
"…And float away like ashes!" Jamie gasped. At first he seemed concerned, but then he shrugged and said:
"But I will have lived a happy life."
Jamie snickered and walked away. "ADDICT!" I screamed. I was shushed by 7 people. "Well, it's true."
Then Aragorn and Legolas started discussing clouds.
"It's moving fast, against the wind," Aragorn muttered. All was silent until Legolas shouted: "Crebain from Dunland!" Someone hissed, "hide!" but I didn't see who it was as I was too busy sniggering under a rock.
"CREBAIN FROM DUNLAND!" Leggy shouted. "Hide!"
We scurried to around and hid under rocks, kicking each other accidentally.
After the birds passed, I jumped up from my hiding spot and screeched to Gimli: "AYE, AVAST!!" The look on his bearded face was priceless.
Gimli was muttering for the rest of the trip of two days. Actually, now that I think about it, everyone was muttering. It was reasonably maddening…for example…
Gandalf- "We cannot go South any longer. The passage is being watched."
Aragorn- "Perils known and unknown will grow as we go on. We must go on, it is no good delaying the passage of the mountains…" Gimli- "MORIA! I TELL YOU, MORIA! Foolish girl…"
Legolas- "Oh Valar…insolent dwarf."
Sam- "What I wouldn't give to be at home in the Shire…with a nice warm dinner…"
Frodo- "::eerie/drowsy looks::"
Merry- "I'm so tired…"
Pippin- "And hungry…"
Boromir- "::eerie looks in general::"
Jamie- "This is so stupid…. can't we just WALK already?!"
Me- "What can you seeeeeeee? ON THE HORIZON?! WHY DO THE WHITE GUUUULLLLS CAAAAAA-"
Rest of Fellowship- "Be QUIET!"
Ah, what an exciting afternoon.
Aragorn and Gandalf kept muttering about our course for the rest of the day. It was our 15th day of Journeying, still as cold and overcast as when we started off.
In the words of the great Jake Morgendorffer: "Hey kids! Don't you just love it when it's overcast!?"
The next few days were spent walking down a twisted road, which led to Caradhras. Yes, the big fricking mountain. We reached said mountain within a few days.
And then we began our ascent in snow.
"Jamie!" I hissed gleefully, pointing up to the sky. Tiny white flakes were falling to earth.
"SNOW!!!" we cried, only to be shushed, once again, by the entire Fellowship (save the Hobbits, which only added to their lovability.). But soon, the enchanting flakes spiraled into a massive blizzard, and I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, much less Gandalf's lead.
Suddenly, we stopped, causing me to crash into Jamie. The snow was up to our ankles now. I grinned silently as I scooped up some snow as Gandalf, Aragorn, Boromir, and Gimli talked about…stuff.
"This is what I feared. What do you say now, Aragorn?" Gandalf said with a sigh.
"That I feared it too, but less than other things…" Aragorn began. THWACK! The snowball hit him in the side of his head.
"Chelsea, this is not a time for amusement," Gandalf growled. I snickered.
"Yes sir."
As we turned to walk on, a snowball found its way to his head. But not by me…
"Jamie!" I said in awe. She grinned.
"Well, I have never seen snow before…"
And so began the Snowball Fight of Middle Earth…
Of course, Gandalf was furious that 10 of us were engaging in a snowball war when it had to be below freezing.
But it was fun while it lasted.
We trudged up for another three hours before everyone (except Legolas, Gandalf, and Aragorn…rawr.) couldn't move. We stopped and made camp. And once again, sleep was instant for all of us…
The next day, we (quelle surprise) walked. The snow was knee deep now, making walking very awkward.
"I'm so…c-cold…"Jamie stammered, her face a shade close to blue. I burst out laughing hysterically: "Like we're n-not?"
Just then, Legolas pranced by. On top of the snow.
"Poncy elf," I muttered, throwing a snowball, which connected beautifully with the back of his head. Smirking, we slogged on.
-Jamie's POV-
Leggy's reaction was unexpected. He picked up a wad of snow, and threw it at the person in front of us, Gimli. Gimli wasn't having as much fun, and didn't react.
-Chelsea' POV-
Another snowball fight was on the verge of breaking out, but suddenly, Frodo lost his footing and began rolling down the mountain (we weren't too high up…yet).
When he rolled past Aragorn, Aragorn was a saint and helped Frodo up. Frodo discovered the ring was missing, and Boromir bent down and picked it up.
"It is a strange fate we should suffer so much fear and doubt over so small a thing…such a little thing…" he murmured, eyeing the ring in admiration.
"Boromir!" Aragorn called, breaking Boromir from his stupor. "Give the Ring to Frodo."
He laughed and tossed the ring to the frightened Frodo. "As you wish. I care not," he chuckled. Boromir tousled Frodo's hair and laughed some more. It was all quite disturbing and amusing to watch.
Walking back to his Designated Walking Spot, he tried to dishevel Jamie's and mine too, but I struck some kind of weird karate pose and "HYAH!"ed quite loudly, while Jamie growled. Boromir rolled his eyes, and we dredged on.
The day carried on. The snow was now waist deep, and I didn't like it so much anymore.
"On top of CARADHRAAAAS! All covered in SNOOOWW! Plows the poor FELLLOWSHIPPP! It's twenty beloooow!" I began to sing softly. It grew louder as time went on, and Jamie joined in.
"ON TOP OF CARADHRAAAAAS! ALL COVERED IN SNOWWWWW! Plows the poor FELLLOWSHIP! It's 20 be-" we began to sing loudly.
"SSH!" Aragorn shushed. We shut up.
"There is a fell voice in the air," Legolas said quietly.
"It's SARUMAN!" Gandalf cried.
"The wizard with the multicolored robe. Oh yeah…" I nodded wisely. Jamie was about to respond when a huge batch of snow fell down on our heads. Or almost, anyway.
"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn shouted over the wind, cold, and snow.
"NO!" Gandalf yelled back in reply. He stood up straighter and started chanting out another language, "Losto Caradhras! Sedho, hodo, nui tho I'ruith!" All was still for a minute, and then Saruman countered that, and then came the second avalanche.
So we were all buried under feet of snow. It was quite nice, actually. Warmer than the air outside. I couple stay here forever in this lovely little cocoon…
A few pairs of arms latched onto me and pulled me out.
"Hey! I liked it in there!" I cried indignantly. Jamie looked, if possible, colder than before, but was still able to make googly faces at Legolas as he pulled people out of the snow, as well as Aragorn and Boromir.
When we were all out and spluttering snow from our mouths, Boromir yelled: "We must get off the mountain! Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!"
"There's a Gap in Rohan? I do need some jeans…and another jacket would be nice…" I said thoughtfully. No one got it. As always.
"The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isenguard!" Aragorn shouted.
"If we cannot pass over a mountain, let us go under it! Let us go through the Mines…of Moria!" Gimli growled.
"No, let's all just do the Hokey Pokey and turn ourselves around, because that's what it's all about!" I screamed.
Jamie snickered: "We have to teach that to the hobbits." I nodded in agreement.
While the Fellowship was arguing, Gandalf spoke: "Let the Ringbearer decide."
All was silent as Frodo thought. When he spoke, I mouthed the words with him: "We will go through the mines."
We began our leisurely stroll (yeah, right) to the Mines. I walked with Jamie.
"You know, Filhipia, you're becoming v. Mary Sue like," I tutted.
She sighed: "Well that's too bad. It can't be helped."
I smirked. "You forget whom you're walking with…you need something to fight your oncoming Mary-Sueness with, something no Mary-Sue would ever do…hey, I'm a poet and I didn't even know it!" I giggled. She read my mind.
"Oh, no Chelsea. I will NOT do that."
Five minutes later, she walked up to Gimli.
"Gimli… I have something to tell you," she said.
"Hmmm," he grunted, walking on. She wrinkled her nose and mouthed, "Do I have to?" I nodded, smirking. She sighed.
"I've never told anyone this before, but I cannot keep it secret and more. Ever since I saw you…your beautiful beard and war-fire eyes. And I confess…I love you," she winced. He grimaced, and walked on agitatedly as Jamie scowled as I fell into the snow, cracking up.
"I'm not a Mary-Sue anymore, right?"
"Oh, you never really were in the first place. But yes, you have redeemed yourself, Jamie. You are no longer a Mary Sue. For now."
And ooh, drama, we walked into the surrounding darkness.
A/N- Yeah, things have been busy lately. ::sheepish looks:: But I promise you, I will not let this parody fall to ruin. It WILL run through RotK and there is small talk of an epilogue. But that's undecided and quite far ahead.
Crecy- Wow. Well, by the time this is up, you'll be out. AND WE UPDATED! …but not for a while, I grant you. It's still 8AM while I'm typing this, so I'm pretty tired. But that's out of subject. YAY, CAFFEINATED FELLOWSHIP! Caffeine…how would we live without it?
zeldagrl436- lol, thank you!
Come on, people, don't be afraid to review. We need the egos. (::rolls eyes::)