"So Costanza seems to think that he can fly the Blackbird." Kara laughed as she sat with Lee drinking coffee at a table in the crowded mess. "I told him that when he could maneuver a maintenance cart without running into things, we would talk."
"Yeah." Lee replied curtly, looking at the papers spread out before him on the table.
Kara gave him the once-over and breathed deep. "Oh, I saw Cally just now and she said that Viper 219 is gonna be down for another three days, so I'll adjust the flight rotation."
"Thanks." Lee said inattentively, taking a sip.
"Reynolds was late for mid-watch again. I told him that you would be speaking to him about it later." She ran her fingertip over the rim of her cup. "But I told him not to worry……..you wouldn't be too hard on him because you were too concerned about finding clothes that fit over the stick up your ass."
"Uh-huh." He wrote something across the top of one of the pages.
Kara's leg began to shake in irritation underneath the table. "I was thinking of going to Cloud Nine for a couple of weeks, since nothing important is going on around here. I mean Cylons and terrorists and human-toaster hybrid babies can wait while I get a little R&R, can't they?"
"Sure." He furiously shook his pen, attempting to get more ink out.
"While I was there, I was thinking of inviting the President over for a little girl-on-girl action." Her voice rose, testing him. "The last time we tried it she was too tired from her romp with Mrs. Tigh to do me justice."
"Great." He said tossing the pen on the table in frustration.
She sighed loudly and rubbed her eyes. "Okay. You weren't even listening to me."
"I was listening."
"Oh yeah? Tell me all the things that I just said." She reached for her cup.
"Constanza/Blackbird, Cally/Viper 219, Reynolds/stick up my ass, Cloud Nine/couple weeks……….not gonna happen by the way, and Roslin/girl-on-girl." Lee took a breath to recover and his eyes iced over. "The last three were jokes," He paused, his lips staying thin and hard. "I'm laughing on the inside."
Kara let out a stuttered exhale at his cold response. "So……… when you were responding to me with indifferent, one-word answers just then, it wasn't because you were engrossed in your work? It was just because you were giving me the cold shoulder."
"What do you want me to say, Lt?" He crossed his arms and stared at her.
She shrugged at him. "I was thinking something along the lines of 'Sorry I'm such an incredible prick' would be in order."
"Why did we have to come here?" He gestured around the room with his chin.
Her face grew puzzled. "Because we had some things to talk about. I thought a more casual place would loosen you up and you actually would talk to me for the first time in days." She paused as she took a sip. "I guess I was mistaken."
"We talk." He told her firmly.
"No, we don't talk. I tell you things and you respond. You ask me questions and I respond."
"You changed the meaning of the word Starbuck? Because if you haven't; everything that you just described meets the definition." He sneered.
She leaned forward in her chair. "What exactly is your problem?"
"We couldn't have done this in my office? I have things to do."
"We've been in here for five minutes!" She said loudly.
"These days, five minutes where someone doesn't want to be is a lot to ask of a person!" He replied at the same volume.
She bit her lip and as he saw the action, his heart froze for a millisecond. "I'm sorry that I demanded such a hardship of you, Sir." She spoke in slightly above a whisper.
He stood up from his chair. "Try to be more considerate of people's time in the future," He grabbed his cup without looking at her. "And their feelings."
He walked away from the table, leaving her alone to feel the questioning and accusatory stares of all the others in the room pointed at her. "I should be more considerate of people's feelings?" She muttered to herself and fought the urge to cry and/or scream as she sat in the middle of the mess hall.
"Hey, Helo, could you come here a minute?" She called to him when she saw him at the end of the hall.
"Sure." He jogged up to her. "Whadya need?"
"Um, have you……" She scratched her nose and looked around before lowering her voice. "Have you noticed anything different about Apollo? Him being upset or irritated lately?"
"No. Not really. I just saw him on deck; he was smiling and joking with Cally and Tyrol."
"So it's just me that he seems to hate at the moment." She confirmed, almost to herself.
"What did you do?" He teased with a smile.
"Nothing! I haven't been sarcastic or insubordinate or grating lately." She watched as his look changed to amused disbelief. "Or I haven't been any more than usual."
"Well, maybe I'm not the best person to ask. He's not exactly Mr. Congeniality, and even on the occasions that he is, he certainly isn't to me."
"Yeah." She nodded. "Maybe he's just having a hard time."
"Something going on?" He asked concerned.
"Not professionally……at least not that I know of. Besides our usual little annoyances, it's actually been pretty quiet lately."
"Then maybe it's a personal thing." Helo shrugged. "You saw the Old Man this morning. Did he say anything to you about it?"
"No." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, she saw him staring at her with a puzzled look. "Uh, thanks, Karl. I'll figure it out eventually."
He gave her a little wave and walked away. As she walked in the other direction, she thought about what Helo had said. 'A personal thing.' Lately, besides her, there was only one other person that would know about anything in Lee's personal life.
She found herself heading to CIC.
She stood outside CIC until she saw the young woman that she was waiting for exit. "Hi, Dee." Kara said, stopping Dualla in her tracks.
"Hey, Starbuck." Dee responded hesitantly before continuing on her way. As she noticed Kara fall into step beside her, she continued. "Did you need something?"
Kara stopped and Dee halted as well. They stood facing each other in the middle of the hallway. "Um, no. It's just that we haven't spoken lately."
"Well, we should correct that. Spend some time with each other." Dee said unconvincingly.
"Yeah, let's get together and paint each other's toenails." Kara said sarcastically and Dee genuinely laughed. "Actually, I was wondering if you knew of anything that was going on with Apollo."
"Why would I know anything about Captain Adama?" Dee looked to the floor.
"Don't do that Dee." Kara sighed. "I know that there's something going on between you two."
"Except, there isn't." Dee confirmed looking back up at Kara before sighing too. "Or at least there isn't anymore."
"So you guys broke up." It was more of a statement than a question.
Dee chuckled lowly. "There wasn't really anything to break up. It wasn't……….well, I don't really know what it was or wasn't, but it certainly wasn't anything that anyone else needs to worry about, or even take notice of."
"So neither one of you was upset about it ending?"
"No, not really. All it did was prove to me how much I still loved Billy, and all it did was prove to him how much he…….." She cocked her head to the side as she looked at Kara in wonder before deciding to switch gears. "How much he didn't want me."
"So you're not the cause of his bad mood?"
"No." She said kindly even as she was examining Kara from head to toe. "I don't think that I am."
Kara jerked at the emphasis of the 'I' in her statement. "So you think I am? Did he say anything to you about me?"
"Not about you." Dee answered cryptically as Kara rubbed her eyes in exasperation.
"Ya know?" Kara snapped. "All these little half-truths and underhanded jabs are really starting to get annoying. Could you just give me a straight answer?"
Dee's face softened. "I wasn't trying to jab at you, or be underhanded. But the answers you want aren't mine to give." She smiled gently. "Talk to Lee. Really talk to him. Stop giving each other the patented Apollo/Starbuck quips and really say what you want to say. If you do that, you'll find out all you need to know."
Kara walked to the flight deck, kicking herself that she was actually enough of a masochist to want to talk to Lee after their last encounter. She entered the deck and found Lee underneath a Viper as Cally, Tyrol and Jammer stood around looking at the diagnostic computer.
"He didn't!" Cally giggled down to Lee as he continued telling a story.
"Yep." Lee answered back amusedly as he worked on the machinery above him. "Little did he know when he was a twenty-five year old pilot committing such atrocities that someday he'd be the commander of the last battlestar and his grown son would be telling all his little underlings about his misdeeds."
Kara stood beside the plane. "Lee?" She could only see his feet and legs as she looked down at him, but she noticed that they tensed at her presence.
"Did you need something, Lt. Thrace?" Even the three deckhands blanched at the sudden hardness in his voice.
That was the last damn straw. "Yeah." She hissed. "Get out from under the frakking plane."
Tyrol coughed meaningfully and Cally's eyes got wide as Lee pulled himself from underneath the ship and stood before her, wiping off his hands with a rag. "You like spending time in the brig, Thrace?" He threw it on the tool cart. "Keep it up, that's where you'll be."
"Well, I doubt that you'd come visit me there, so the brig sounds great to me."
"Well, I can't afford to lose you from the rotation." He turned away from her to examine the wing of the plane. "So as usual, you get away with murder." He froze as he realized what he had just said. He turned around to amend his statement. "Kara, I didn't mean—."
The fist connected with his face before he knew what was coming. He fell hard to the deck floor.
"I came here to talk to you." She sneered as she stood above him. "But I think it's safe to assume the talking is gonna cease for a while, Captain." She said the last word with such animosity that the bile rose up in her throat.
She walked off and he raised himself up off the floor, looking after her and wiping the blood off his lip until Cally handed the rag back to him with a sympathetic but accusing look.
"I've never……had sex in a public place." Gaeta said.
"Gaeta!" Racetrack laughed. "That's tragic. Meet me on deck at 23:30 tomorrow and we can correct that." She winked. Cat calls were yelled as everyone at the table but Gaeta drank. "Okay. I'm next. I've never……….had sex with a superior officer. And if you'd seen my last C.O., you'd realize exactly what a hardship that was." She fanned herself as Helo, Starbuck, and Hotdog drank.
Helo laughed at Hotdog. "Surprise, surprise, Costanza. Who isn't your superior officer?"
"Hey!" Hotdog yelled, insulted.
"I've never…………finished up a frak even after Action Stations were called." Kat raised her eyebrows at Helo.
"How did you even hear about that? That was before the attack." Helo responded.
"Was that the visiting morale officer?" Gaeta asked. "Everybody heard about that."
"Well, I couldn't exactly go out like I was. Besides, it wasn't a true A.S. call, it was only a drill." Helo laughed as he took a shot. "She sure was good at her job, my morale was definitely boosted." Helo looked over as Kara took a drink too, but his attention was quickly called back to Cally.
"Okay, okay." Cally laughed. "I've never……. had sex with anything that required batteries."
Kat, Racetrack and Starbuck all drank.
Hotdog laughed as Helo refrained. "What, Agathon? Valerii runs on solar power?"
Helo froze before breaking into a smile and jabbed a finger at Hotdog. "It's a good thing I'm drunk, Costanza."
"Actually, it's a good thing Starbuck's drunk." Hotdog laughed as he looked at Kara's head resting on the table. "Her I'm afraid of. You I can handle."
Helo watched as Starbuck poured herself another. Then he heard someone clear their throat. "My turn?" Helo asked and then looked right at Gaeta. "I've never…….frakked Lt. Weathers."
Everyone hollered as Gaeta drank but then got silent as they saw Starbuck bring the glass to her lips.
"Oh, man." Hotdog chuckled as Starbuck poured the liquor down her throat. He gave her a slightly aroused once-over. "If that's true, it's gonna be the stuff of my fantasies for months."
Helo leaned forward in his chair. "Hang on a second, I want to try something." He looked at Kara as she set up another round. "I've never……..had sex with 5 guys in the middle of a packed pyramid stadium during a Virgon hail storm."
Sure enough, Kara downed another.
"Okay. Starbuck? You've never even been to Virgon." Helo confirmed, taking the bottle away.
Starbuck reached for it as Helo held it from her grasp. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You're only supposed to drink when it's something that you've done." He told her. "Those are the rules of the game."
"We were playing a game?" She asked with a slurred voice.
"Yeah." Helo answered, his concern audible. "You're telling me you just drank all those shots because you wanted to get shit-faced drunk?"
"Shit-faced drunk/Accidentally-tumble-out-an-airlock-because-you-can't-tell-where-you're-going-and-therefore-do-everybody-a-favor drunk. Either one will work." She laughed.
Everyone else took on a confused, subtly sad expression before they heard someone walk through the hatch.
"Lt. Thrace? I need to have a word with you." Lee said coming to stand behind her.
"Captain?" Helo looked at Apollo. "I don't think that now would be a good time."
Lee ignored him as he spoke to Kara again. "Lt. Thrace? We need to have a conversation, NOW." He grew visibly furious as Kara did not respond.
"Um, Starbuck?" Kat said nervously. "The Captain said—."
"I heard him." Kara hissed with her back to Lee before continuing. "So what are the rules?" She drummed her fingers on the table. "I say something I haven't done, and then if you have, you drink?" She breathed deep. "Okay. I've never………had sex in the last two years without feeling like a filthy, betraying whore."
Helo leaned forward on the table and ran his hands over his face; Gaeta looked to his chest, everyone else at the table gulped loudly. Lee just stood there in shock and fought the urge to take her in his arms.
"Nobody's drinking." She laughed in a sing-song voice. "Bet you're sorry I actually started playing."
"Okay." Helo whispered, pulling her chair back and taking her arm. "You're done for the night."
Lee stepped in between them. "Let me." He said quietly, putting his hand on her shoulder.
"Right," Helo said sarcastically. "You'll forgive me if that doesn't sound like the best idea right now."
Lee got right up in Helo's face to where the other man feared he would be punched, but instead his expression softened. "I'm the cause of this. I need to fix it."
Helo's eyes glinted for a second and then he nodded.
Lee stood Kara up and then draped her arm around his shoulder. The others watched them leave the room and didn't say a single word.
Outside in the hallway, Lee started walking her in the direction of the shower room, but she realized that it was him leading her and shrugged out of his grasp. "I'm not going anywhere with you." She rasped out.
"Alright." He said defiantly as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you actually gonna try to find your own way? Or will you just sleep it off on these crates here in the hallway?"
"Smug son of a bitch." She muttered under her breath, looking down at the floor.
"What did you say?"
"I called you a smug son of bitch!" She yelled, looking back up at him.
He gave her a look that could freeze water. "Did you talk to Dee?"
"Yes, I did."
"Why?" He hissed, getting very close to her.
"Because I wanted to test this theory that I had; I thought that maybe there was a kind of invisible bubble around me that prevented other people from speaking to me like I was a human being. But Dee was her perfectly nice, normal little self when she and I talked so that theory was disproved." She sneered back, starting to walk away from him. "I guess it's your problem." She called back.
He saw her stride start to falter as she weaved from one side of the hall to the other. "Kara." He ran up beside her and tried to grab her arm. "Kara, you need to sit down." He told her firmly.
She spun around quickly to escape his grasp. "Don't call me that! There are very few people left in this world that I allow to call me Kara, and you are NOT one of them right now!" She yelled and then held her hand up to her forehead. "But I think I will sit down." She sat down on a crate and lowered her head. "Not because you suggested it, but because……..I'm not entirely sure that everything had a purple tinge to it before."
He stood before her. "It the Chief's brew. It fraks with the ocular nerves, causes you to see things that you didn't notice before." He reached out and almost touched the crown of her head before pulling back.
"And how would you know that?"
He winced and shut his eyes. "I just do somehow."
"Yeah? Well, I don't really think…….." She trailed off and got a very strange look on her face.
"Kara? What is it?"
She leaned forward and threw up on the floor.
Lee had to step away quickly to avoid the mess. He then started to laugh softly. "While I'm sure that the custodial crew won't appreciate it, I'm glad that you did that. It'll make it easier for me to sober you up." He came over and lifted her off the crate. She then started to walk beside him on her own, only needing a hand every now and then to guide her. "Come on."
They walked down to the head and he led her into the shower, he leaned in to turn the nozzle on. "Take off your clothes, get under the water and stay there for five minutes."
"No." She pivoted to start to walk away.
"Kara!" He called after her.
"You're not telling me what to do tonight, Adama!" She turned back to him. "You have too much frakking control over my life as it is."
"Fine!" He shouted, leaving the stall with the water still running. "Take care of yourself. I'm done." He walked past her and out of the room, slamming the hatch shut in the process.
Kara felt her blood seethe. She ran to the door, opened it, and followed him into the hallway. "Oh, no you don't! If anybody gets to slam a door on anybody, it's me on you, not the other way around." She pointed her finger at him repeatedly. "Big, long hallway full of doors that I can slam on your face all day long!"
Lee walked back to her and roughly grabbed her arm, dragging her back into the head.
"Ow. Let me go." She cried.
"Shut up. You're exhausting my patience, Lt." He pushed her under the spray. He saw her jerk at the shock of it. "Stay there."
She stood there shivering for a few minutes, her clothes getting drenched. "It's cold." She mumbled.
"Yeah, it's cold." He chuckled. "It's supposed to be. You sober up quicker if it's cold. You've been drunk enough to know that."
"Hmph." Her lip quivered. "Are you gonna let me out now?"
"That depends, how many of me do you see?" He asked her.
"One more than I want to." She hissed back.
"Meaning you only see one?" He watched as she nodded. "You sure you're sober?" She nodded again. "Prove it." He stared her down as he crossed his arms.
"Okay." She said turning off the water. "You know the girl that you dated three years ago, Angela Moseley? The first time I ever met her was when you brought her to that bar in Oceania. I think the name of it was Maru."
"Yeah." He confirmed, leaning back against the wall.
"When you and Zak went to the bar to get our drinks, she spoke to me for five minutes about how she noticed that when you have sex; your thrusts have to be in even number." She watched as his eyes got wide and his mouth hung open. "So what? Even if you come on thrust #17, you throw in another one just to round things off?"
He shook his head at her before leaning in close to her and smiling wryly. "Actually, I wouldn't know." He whispered. "I'm always well into the 40's by the time that happens."
She looked him up and down before rolling her eyes. "Is the fact that I can remember that so accurately proof enough for you?"
He closed his eyes. "Yeah."
He felt her walk past him and when he opened his eyes he saw her braced against the sink. He came up behind her and she looked at his reflection in the mirror.
"Go back to the bunk room. Dry off and change clothes." He started to walk away before turning back. "And brush your teeth. I don't want you smelling like a mixture of distilled poison and vomit during our conversation."
"What conversation?" She faced him. "I'm tired. I want to go to bed."
"Tough. Come to my office in ten minutes."
"Lee……."
"Do I have to make it an order, Lt.?" He snapped. "Because I will if I have to."
She shook her head in response and he walked out of the room.
Ten minutes later she knocked on his door.
"Come in." He yelled and she entered. "Close it." He ordered from his chair as she shut the door. "Lock it." He told her as she did. "Is it locked?"
"Yes."
"You sure?" He looked up at her from his papers.
She let out an irritated exhale. "I know how to turn a frakking lock, Lee."
"Sit down." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk and stood up from his own just as she sat down. He grabbed a cup off the bookshelf and put it down on the desk in front of her. "It's coffee. Drink it."
She took the cup and drank some. "It's horrible coffee."
"I think it's been reheated about three times. 01:30 is not the best time for fresh-brewed." He paused looking down at her. "Did the shower make you feel better?"
"Just made it easier to hear my own thoughts." She took another sip. "So, definitely not better."
"Yeah." He let out a breath as he sat against the desk. "What did Dee tell you?"
"Not much." She confirmed. "Your girlfriend has become remarkably adept at skirting the issue. I wonder where she gets that from."
"She's not my girlfriend, Kara." He sighed.
Kara snorted. "Whatever."
"Would it bother you if she was?"
"You can frak whoever you want, Lee." She looked away from him.
He continued to stare at her. "I'm glad you feel that way." He took the cup from her and placed it back on the desk.
"She did tell me that you could give me some answers." Kara turned back to him.
"I can try." He nodded.
She took in a stuttering breath. "You left me sitting in the mess hall. Then you said……..what you said on the flight deck."
He screwed his eyes shut. "Yeah."
"You wanna tell me why?" She looked up at him pleadingly.
He opened his eyes and looked at her sadly. "No."
She laughed, completely frustrated. "Okay. Do you wanna tell me why you've been ignoring me, avoiding me, tearing me down and basically treating me like I have the frakking plague?"
He breathed deep before lowering his head. "No."
She quickly stood up from her chair and turned away from him. "Frak you, Lee Adama." She seethed.
He tried to soothe her. "Kara—."
"You know me, Lee. You know me better than maybe anybody on this ship. You know that this is the one thing I can't take. You wanna scream at me, punch me, and call me horrible names? Go ahead; that I can deal with. I've been dealing with it my entire life." She screamed at him before lowering her voice. "But the one thing I can't deal with is being treated like I don't matter. Like I'm nothing, like I'm not worth your time." She looked at him, breathing harshly, the tears brimming in her eyes. "You know this about me………..and you're deliberately doing it to hurt me."
He rose from the edge of the desk. "No, Kara, I wasn't trying to hurt you."
She scoffed sadly. "Then I'd really hate to see what you could do if you actually set your mind to it."
He started pacing the room. "I never meant to hurt you, Kara." He pleaded with her in exasperation. "Gods, everything is so frakked up."
"It's frakked up because you want it that way." She sneered.
"No, Kara. It's frakked up because it just is." He covered his eyes with his hand. "I never meant to hurt you……….Uhhhhh! I never meant for any of this to happen!" He screamed.
"Any of WHAT to happen?" She screamed back.
"This." He replied simply and then grabbed her face in his hands and kissed her.
He kissed her so long and so hard that she thought she would collapse from lack of breath. She moved her lips against his with equal force and rhythm, but her body stayed frozen. The only other part of her that was touching him was her hands where they rested lightly on his forearms.
He heard her whimpering lightly and let her go. Pulling back from her, he rested his forehead against hers.
"You just kissed me." She uttered in amazement.
"Yeah."
"Okay. Well, okay. That's um," She moved back from him and crossed her arms in front of her. "Is that why you've been acting weird?" She whispered, looking at him strangely.
"Yeah." He replied.
"Is that what you said to Dee?" She asked him, her swollen lower lip quivering. "That you wanted to do that to me?"
He took the step that bridged their small divide. "The only thing that I said to Dee," He cupped her face again. "Was your name while I was doing that to her." He kissed her lightly this time.
"Hmmm." She said as he separated their lips to take a breath. "That's ironic."
"What do you mean?"
She laughed ruefully. "Let's just say that's a common problem with the two of us."
"Okay." He laughed, puzzled. When he wrapped his arm around her waist and leaned in to kiss her.
She stopped him. "Lee." She stepped back, leaning against the wall. "I need a minute to………wrap my little brain around this. I mean, two minutes ago I thought you hated me."
"No, you didn't." He told her firmly. "Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you knew that I could never hate you."
"Do you think that this makes it all better?" She gestured her hand back and forth between them. "I mean the way you've been treating me—."
"I know." He sighed. "And it's not a justification for that. Just an explanation."
"Okay. Okay, well that's……..that's um…….. I'm gonna need some time." She nodded.
"Um, alright." He looked to the floor and then looked back up at her. "How much time?"
She shook her head. "I don't know. My mind keeps saying 'he just kissed me, he just kissed me' over and over again."
"You said that before." He gave her a small smile.
"It's worth repeating for verification purposes." She looked back at him, her face blank. "You kissed me."
"I know." He said sheepishly.
"Are you gonna do it again?" She questioned warningly.
His heart sunk at the hardness of her tone. "No." He whispered apologetically, as he dropped his head to his chest.
"Okay, then." She walked over to him, lifted his chin and traced her tongue against his bottom lip until he groaned, opening his mouth so that she could slip it inside. She leaned against him until he wrapped his arms around her, melding their bodies.
"Kara." He mumbled against her mouth, even as he delved his tongue inside.
She pulled her lips from his and grabbed his face in her hand. "What did I tell you, Captain? The talking is gonna cease for a while." She whispered before kissing him again.
He buried his left hand in her hair as she started to undo the buttons on his shirt. He lifted his right hand to travel up under her tanks and felt her bare skin prickle beneath his touch. She heard his breath skip.
They stopped to look at each other and smiled lustfully………..before sinking to the floor.
-TBC