Summary: Christmas with the Shinra is definitely not what you'd expect. Unless of course you were under the impression that Rufus Shinra routinely dresses up as a Santa Claus look-a-like.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Final Fantasy VII. That belongs to Square-Enix.
Shinra Claus
'Twas the night before Christmas and high above the city of Midgar, on the 66th floor of Shinra Headquarters, several of the company's top executives were preparing to begin a "very important" meeting.
"What's the big idea, Heidegger?" Scarlet demanded as she took her place at the table. "It's Christmas Eve! Some of us have important business to take care of!"
"Gwah ha haa! Don't worry, Scarlet, I'm sure your 'business' will still be waiting for you at the Honey Bee Inn when you get back," Heidegger guffawed. "Besides this meeting wasn't my idea. It was Hojo's."
At the mention of his name, the greasy-haired scientist emerged from the depths of the shadows. "My dear Scarlet, once you hear this proposal you will understand why this matter is of utmost importance as to disrupt more… pleasurable… activities."
"Let's hear it, Hojo," Rufus commanded from the head of the table as Scarlet scoffed.
"Certainly, Mr. President." Hojo bowed, stretching the already-tested limits of his spinal cord. Years of bending down in a dark laboratory to prod at specimens would do that to you, you know. "However, I would be much remised if I took all the credit for this proposal. Mr. Reeve?"
Reeve gave a curt nod and stood up. In all honesty, it was his idea to have this meeting. The other executives were just too stupid to remember it."After analyzing some of the recent public polls, I have found that there has been a dramatic increase in public opinion that Shinra is a, quote, 'evil corporation bent on destroying the Planet and sucking the Mako energy supply dry.'"
"Well, that's true, isn't it?" Scarlet interrupted, momentarily glancing up from filing her nails.
"This," Reeve continued, ignoring Scarlet, "has understandably caused a major reduction in profits for the current fiscal year. If this trend continues, Shinra Inc. will undoubtedly be bankrupt before you can say 'Five ferocious Fangs frolicked in the forest.'"
"So what do you propose we do?" Rufus asked casually flipping his hair.
"As it is the holiday season, sir, I have come up with the perfect marketing strategy to boost the company's PR image. This," he announced, holding up a poster that he had had face-down in front of him, "is Shinra Claus."
Dead silence fell upon the room. Even Palmer had stopped fidgeting in his seat. On the poster was a crudely drawn sketch of a man in a red trench coat, not unlike Rufus' white one. He wore a red stocking cap atop his blond hair, again, not unlike Rufus' own, and a large pair of black boots. Nine tiny chocobo surrounded "Shinra Claus," one of which had a red beak.
"Every Christmas Eve," Reeve went on, oblivious to the great shock his "marketing strategy" had caused, "Shinra Claus hops into his sleigh pulled by nine flying chocobo to deliver the gift of Mako energy to the good little girls and boys of Midgar. So," he looked up from his poster, "I propose that tonight someone dress up as Shinra Clausand visit the children."
"Kyah ha haa!" Scarlet piercing laugh broke the silence as she fell out of her chair with tears streaming down her face. "That's your big idea? This company's as good as sunk!"
"Now hold on a minute there, Scarlet," Heidegger said slowly, "this may not be such a bad idea after all. But who would be our Shinra Claus?"
Silence once again fell upon the room as the executives exchanged nervous looks. The name "Shinra Claus" led to one obvious conclusion…
"What?" Rufus demanded when he couldn't fashionably ignore the ten pairs of eyes glancing in his direction any longer. "You all think that I should be Shinra Claus?"
His voice held a hint of threat as though the first to express the desire to see him dressed in a red suit and hat would have their head chopped off and thrown to the Midgar Zolom. However Palmer, who had always been one to throw caution to the wind, even though most of the time he was completely unaware that he was doing so spoke up first.
"I, for one, think you would make an excellent Shinra Claus, Mr. President," he gushed, eyes sparkling in adoration. "For who better to represent all that is right with the planet then one of its most outstanding members?"
As Rufus paused for a moment, pondering this line of argument, the other executives felt it safe to chime in. Rule number one for dealing with their president was to always stroke his ego. It was a sure-fire way to save their sorry butts from getting the boot.
"Gwah ha haa! The man is right!" Heidegger agreed. "President Rufus is the perfect man for the job."
"Kyah ha haa!" Scarlet cackled, returning to her seat. "Nobody beats our President."
Rufus grinned. "You all present such convincing arguments."
"Does this mean you'll do it, sir?" Reeve asked.
"Yeah, I'll do it."
"Then perhaps," Hojo spoke up, adjusting his glasses, "you'd like to try some of my new holiday cheer enhancing drug. With just a simple alteration to your DNA–"
"Put those needles away, Hojo!" Rufus ordered. The last thing he needed was to become that whackjob scientist's newest test subject.
Hojo frowned and reluctantly tucked the syringes filled with blue liquid back into his lab coat. "I never get to have any fun," he pouted.
The playground at Sector 6 was filled with the laughter of children, making it the perfect place for "Shinra Claus" to debut. Rufus took a deep breath and looked himself over one more time. Red coat, check (though he had begged and pleaded with Reeve but the man still insisted upon dying his favorite trench red). Red hat, check (they had bought a red, fur-trimmed stocking cap at a great price; apparently Wall Market was having a sale). Black boots, check (they had found a decent pair in Hojo's closet and vowed never to go in there again :shudder:). He had to admit, he looked pretty darn good. The only thing left for him to do was for him to make his big entrance.
He tugged on the reins of the chocobo attached to his sleigh, causing them to start trotting into the playground. Granted they couldn't fly, they were still the best chocobo they could find on such short notice. Even "Chocodolph" was sporting his yet-to-be famous red beak, thanks to a little creative painting.
"Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" Rufus called out with as much holiday spirit he could muster which, admittedly, wasn't much.
Some of the children looked up, many of them with looks of alarm on their faces.
"Who're you?" a tough-looking boy asked, narrowing his eyes.
"Uh…" Rufus was prepared for this question, of course, but he wasn't prepared for the crowd of children swarming around his sleigh. It made him a little nervous. "I'm Shinra Claus."
"Never heard of you," the boy replied harshly.
The other children began whispering to each other. Rufus swallowed. He never imagined that a group of children could be so intimidating. He shook his head. He was Rufus Shinra. They were the ones that should be intimidated… even if he was wearing a ridiculous looking red coat and hat.
"That's because you're not on my list," he snapped, unrolling a scroll of parchment and crossing out a non-existent name.
The boy looked crestfallen. Rufus smiled. That ought to teach those brats not to mess with him.
"Now as for the rest of you, who wants toys?"
The kids began gathering closer and closer to his sleigh, eagerly awaiting their presents. Rufus dipped his hand into an enormous sack filled with 'toys' he had gathered from the office at the last minute and began handing them out. Ah, yes, the joy of receiving staplers and hole-punchers would not be wasted on these children.
"What is this?" a plump little girl with blonde pigtails asked, holding up a paper weight emblazoned with the Shinra logo. "I wanted a dolly."
"And this isn't a robot dinosaur from outer space!" a long-nosed boy exclaimed, critically examining a Shinra coffee mug.
The crowd of children dispersed from around Rufus, grumbling about the "gifts" they had received. Maybe office supplies weren't as exciting to children as he thought they would be.
"Wait a minute!" Rufus called out, seeing his chance of saving the company slipping away. He had to turn this around.
All of the children stopped in their tracks and turned to listen.
"Remember to tell your parents that for quality energy that you can depend on, trust Shinra Inc.!"
The kids groaned and continued walking away. Rufus sighed. Well, at least he'd have a place in Shinra history. Not even in office for three months and already the company was broke.
Rufus felt a tug on his coat. Looking down, he saw that a little girl was still there, apparently waiting for her gift from Shinra Claus.
"I don't have any presents you'd want so you might as well go home."
She shook her head. "I don't want any presents," she said softly holding out a tiny flower to him.
"What?"
"This is for you." She placed the flower in his open palm.
"What? Why are you giving this to me?" he asked a trace of suspicion in his voice. No one had ever given him anything with no strings attached. It wasn't a sign of good business.
Turning to leave she smiled widely, "Merry Christmas."
Rufus stood there, puzzled. Why had that girl given him anything? He hadn't done anything for her. She had even said she didn't want any presents! He looked down at the flower in his hand. It was a violet. He had only ever seen them in Heidegger's gardening magazines (which he was looking at strictly for business reasons). Wasn't it impossible for flowers to grow in Midgar? Something about the soil being too acidic? Hojo had recently taken to experimenting on rats and casually tossing them out the window when he was finished with them, after all. Shaking his head he tucked the flower in his pocket. He'd deal with these thoughts later. He still had some Shinra Claus business to attend to.
The elevator doors opened with a loud ping and Rufus stepped out into the lounge, still dressed in his full Shinra Claus garb. He had visited all of Midgar's parks and playgrounds (not that that was saying much as there were only four) to spread the message of Shinra Claus. All he wanted to do now was grab a mug of hot chocolate and take a nice warm bath.
"Ah, hello Mr. President. How did it go?"
Rufus looked up at the sound of the voice and saw that Reeve was sitting at a table with the evening newspaper and a steaming cup of coffee in front of him.
"Not like I expected," Rufus answered, his hand unconsciously reaching for the flower in his pocket. The look of happiness on that girl's face as she wished him a 'merry Christmas' had been replaying in his mind's eye for the past half hour and it left him unsettled. How could giving bring a person that much pleasure?
Reeve smiled. "I take it that's a good thing?"
Rufus nodded slowly, his mind still trying to unravel the mystery of it all. "But there is still something I need to ask you, Reeve. Is it really possible for the company to be saved by this whole Shinra Claus thing? How can one night make a difference to our profits?"
An uncharacteristically mischievous grin crossed Reeve's lips. "It won't. The fact is Shinra Inc. is doing better than ever. I just thought that you could use a bit of holiday cheer."
"Reeve…" Rufus began flatly, "you're fired."
Author's Notes: Reeve isn't really fired. Rufus was just joking :) Hope you enjoyed that and Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!