Love and Marriage

Chapter Thirty-Four

"So you have been talking to each other?" Leslie was pleasantly surprised by their progress. She had expected it to take them longer to make this much progress. "How has that been going?"

"Pretty well." Martin nodded, looking at Sam for confirmation.

"Yeah." Sam nodded too. "I mean everything's not great yet. We definitely have both individual issues and couple issues, but things are better than before."

"That's wonderful." Leslie smiled. "It sounds like you are both making progress. When you first came in here you could hardly even speak to each other without arguing. Now, well now that isn't the case at all. It's a good start."

"So what's the next step?" Sam asked.

"The next step is to work on the individual as well as the couple issues. We'll isolate the individual issues during your personal sessions." She looked at Samantha and then Martin. "But are there any issues that you would like to discuss right now?"

Martin was quiet; he didn't see anything that they needed to talk about right now. Well actually there were things that they probably should talk about. But there was nothing that he really wanted to talk about.

Sam looked over at Martin and then at Leslie. When it became apparent that Martin wasn't going to say anything or make any suggestions, she decided to speak up. "Actually, there is something that I think we need to address."

Leslie focused her attention on Samantha. "Ok. What would you like to talk about?"

"I think we have a problem with trust." She replied.

"Ok." Leslie nodded. "What makes you think that?"

"Do we have to talk about this?" Martin asked while giving Sam a glare. He thought that they had settled this trust thing the other night. Apparently he was wrong though.

"I think we should talk about it again." Sam answered, ignoring the glare that he was sending her. She wasn't going to back down from this. Maybe there was something that Leslie could do to help them. It was at least worth a shot.

"Fine." He sighed.

Leslie watched this interaction with great interest, noting Martin's reluctance to confront the trust issue. "So Samantha, why do you think you have a trust issue?"

"This weekend we went to the park and had a picnic. Everything was great until a father of one of Claire's friends approached us. I know him because we've gone to the same school functions and we've talked. I guess I'd consider him a friend but not a really close friend. Anyway, Martin got really jealous and for a moment there I thought I was going to have to restrain him to keep him from punching Brad."

"Brad is the name of the man?" Leslie guessed.

"Yes." Sam nodded.

"Martin, were you jealous because of the attention that Brad was giving Samantha?" Leslie knew that Martin had an insecurity problem and this kind of situation definitely wouldn't help his problem get better.

"Yes." Martin sighed, not wanting to go through this again. "But you should have seen the way he was acting. He was flirting with her even though I was right next to her. That's rude and infuriating."

"I'm sure it is." Leslie made a few notes.

"Martin was being rude to Brad too though." Sam interjected.

"He had it coming." Martin replied. "Just be glad that I squelched the urge to use him as a punching bag."

"See?" Sam pointed at Martin. "He's doing it again. He's jealous and Brad's not even here."

"Martin, let me ask you a question. Was Samantha flirting back with him at all? Was she giving out any signals to Brad that she was interested in him as anything other than a friend?"

"No." Martin replied after being silent for a few moments.

"So then why do you consider Brad a threat?" Leslie questioned.

"I just don't like anyone hitting on my wife." Martin said, staring at the carpet.

"I don't think the problem is Brad." Sam stated. "I think the real problem is trust. I don't think he trusts me."

"I trust you." Martin looked over at Sam, hoping he could convince her.

"No. You say you do, but I don't think you really do." Sam shook her head.

He laughed. "Well then maybe I don't think that you really trust me." Two could play at this game. "You admitted to me that you're jealous of Bethany."

"Who is Bethany?" Leslie asked.

"She's a woman at work that is constantly throwing herself at Martin, although he claims that he doesn't realize it." Sam explained.

"I see." Leslie noted that for future reference.

"I will admit it. I am jealous whenever I see her flirting with you. But I don't go up to her and start acting rude or go around accusing you of anything. I walk away and trust you not to do anything that would wreck our marriage even more!" Sam exclaimed.

"It seems to me that you both have some trust issues that you're going to need to conquer. Martin you're going to have to remember that Samantha is committed to this marriage and to you. I doubt very much that she will do anything to jeopardize your relationship."

"Of course I wouldn't." Sam interjected.

Leslie then turned to face Samantha. "And Samantha, you sound like you have a problem with this Bethany woman. Perhaps you could try to talk to her about restraining herself around Martin. Or better yet, perhaps Martin could try and have a talk with her about stopping any inappropriate behavior."

"That would be nice if Martin would do that." Sam whispered.

"Why didn't you tell me to do that then?" Martin asked, getting frustrated. He turned to Leslie. "I asked her outright if she wanted me to do anything about Bethany and she never mentioned that she wanted me to have a talk with her about stopping her flirtations. How am I supposed to know what she wants if she won't tell me?"

Leslie simply smiled. "Well, Samantha probably should have mentioned if she wanted you to talk to Bethany about it."

Feeling like he had experienced a major victory, he smiled triumphantly.

"This week, I want you two to try and work on your trust issues. Continue communicating your feelings, especially ones concerning jealousy. Jealousy is not a bad emotion—it's what you do because of your jealousy that can be dangerous. So if either of you feel yourself getting jealous, here's what I want you to do. Close your eyes and say these three things in your mind. Say he/she loves me. He/she wouldn't cheat on me. I have nothing to worry about and shouldn't jump to any conclusions." She looked at Martin and then at Samantha. "Can you try that?"

"Sure." They both replied at the same time.

Leslie could tell that they weren't fully trusting each other, but didn't know what else to do for them right now. Their trust issues would have to be addressed in their individual sessions. Addressing them in the joint session wouldn't be productive and would most likely lead to an argument that she was sure no one really wanted to happen.