Hurts Like Hell
Author: Chaos Valkyrie
First Conceptualized: February 20, 2004
Posted Chapter 02: February 22, 2004
Updated: December 22, 2005

Disclaimer: Hmmm, I've never met nor worked with any Muppets, so I must not own Labyrinth. And since I'm still alive, I can't be Goethe, whose poem "Erlkonig," aka the Erl King, inspired that particular character… and I also didn't write some rather creepy music to accompany that poem – that was Schubert, I believe.

Author Notes: Well, we're back. I've been doing a lot of planning for my various tales in the last 24 hours, and couldn't resist the urge to work on this one some more. So please, if you are reading the others, (please do!) be patient with me… Oh, and there is some minor Jareth bashing this chapter, but don't get mad at me! Nicole is a sarcastic little witch and I'm just describing how she would see him… heh heh heh. I said she was the negatively charged magnet, so, find out why…

Chapter Two: Deals with Two Devils

"Sam!" Nicole shrieked as darkness engulfed them. She raised a hand to her mouth, then lowered it to her heart. 'It is only a power outage, don't freak out!' she commanded to herself. "Sam?" Nicole called again, louder, reaching her hands blindly out into the darkness. The wind was making a terrible racket outside, but she thought she could hear a scuttling noise coming from the direction of the bed. She bumped her shin on the foot board and cursed loudly.

"Shit!" She grimaced, rubbing her shin ruefully while the winds outside picked up. "Why must the shin always find furniture in dark?" she asked out loud. Someone giggled. She pulled the blankets off the huddled form on the bed as her eyes finally adjusted. "Now Sam, quit horsing arou–"

Her words disintegrated into a gasp of horror. The bed was empty, well, of her little brother at least. Something with glowing red eyes chuckled up at her, but last she checked, Sam's eyes were a rather normal shade of brown. She screamed and jumped back from the bed.

The winds reached a crescendo, and the window across from Sam's bed crashed open with an almighty screech. Nicole's hands flew of their own accord to her mouth, and her eyes widened with shock as a man stepped down from the window sill into the room.

"Who the Hell are you?" she managed to choke out. "Where's my brother?"

The man just smirked. It finally began to dawn on Nicole that this man was not your typical, run-of-the-mill, normal guy next door. If there were any questions to the contrary, the obscenely tight pants, romantically ruffled shirt, and the girly eye make-up clinched it.

"Who are you?" Nicole asked again, anger rising. Her hands stopped hovering about her throat and dropped as fists to her hips. "What the HELL have you done with my brother! I don't recall ordering a fairy to replace him!" And by fairy, she didn't mean the kind with wings. The man frowned.

"I believe the correct term would be goblin," the man grated at her. Nicole's mind took a few moments to register.

"Goblin? Goblin King?" she asked incredulously. The man tilted his head in a nod, the smirk returning. "Listen, mister, I don't care who you think you are, I want my brother back," she snarled, advancing.

The Goblin King glared at her in warning, and she paused. "What's said is said. The wish was made – there is no going back now."

Nicole's eyes narrowed. "Just because he wished for you to take him away does not mean that I'm going to let him go willingly. Where is he?"

The King grinned as he turned, pointing. "He is there, in my castle." Nicole gaped at the castle that she had certainly never seen in her neighborhood before. And around it…

"Have I left reality and found myself in 'The Shining'?" She groaned aloud. Then she looked around, startled, to find that she was not in her brother's room any longer. 'This isn't Kansas – not that I was there in the first place…'

The Goblin King walked towards her, staring triumphantly down at her. "Do you wish to turn back, Nicole?"

She glared at him, her eyes glimmering brown slits of fury. "I have no other choice, don't pretend otherwise," she spat out. Jareth nodded, pointing to a clock behind him.

"You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth before your little brother becomes one of my goblins forever…" his voice faded as he slowly disappeared into the landscape in a shower of glitter.

She blinked. "Not a fairy, my ass," she said, before turning and running towards the looming walls ahead of her. She scouted around for a minute before locating the doors, which creaked open at her arrival. She stood still for a moment, bracing herself, then nodded. She walked slowly towards the doors, mumbling, "There better not be any minotaurs in here or I'm going to be seriously put out…"

Before she could cross the threshold, a hand grabbed her arm. Nicole reared back, her fist swinging wildly towards whatever the creature was. It never connected, however – the thing's other hand caught her fist deftly. She blinked, getting a good look at her attacker as it… no, he, chuckled.

The man before her was dressed all in black, with black hair and blue-green eyes. Literally, one blue eye, one green eye. Unlike the Goblin King, his hair was not poofy, nor did his fairy make-up make him look girly. He was dressed in some sort of black leather armor, enhancing her impression that he was a warrior.

"Now, now, is that anyway to treat someone who wishes to help you?" The man's voice was deep and slightly mocking. Nicole wrenched both her arms out of his grip.

"And just who are you?" she snarled up at him. The man leaned back against the wall, eyeing her.

"I'm here to give you another way to win back your brother…" he shrugged indifferently.

Nicole blinked at him. "Who are you?" she sighed.

The man smiled. "That is not important. Do you wish to take my offer or not?"

Nicole thought about it. "Let me hear the offer, then I'll decide," she said carefully. She was not going to make any promises without knowing what she was getting into first.

The man smiled. "Very wise of you. I will give you until the end of the hour to return to your own world. There, you will find someone who can help you – the only person who has ever solved the Labyrinth."

Nicole looked at the man in surprise. "Who is it? And why on earth would they help me?"

The man smiled widely. "Because she is already your little friend… Sarah Williams."

Nicole was stunned. "S-Sarah? But why…"

The man raised his hand. "We don't have much time. Do you agree to go back and find her?"

Nicole's eyes narrowed. "What's the catch?" she asked, placing one hand on her hip. "I can't believe that you're doing this out of the kindness of your heart…"

The man laughed as Nicole glared at him. "Clever, clever girl! All I want is for her to return to the Labyrinth… you could say that she and the Goblin King have 'unfinished business'."

"What do you mean, 'unfinished business'?" Nicole asked, confused. The stranger merely grinned.

"To put it bluntly, I suspect that Jareth is in love with Ms. Williams. All I wish for you to do is bring her here so that we may discover if she feels the same…" he trailed off suggestively.

Nicole stared at him, her mouth open. "You want me to bring my friend here to try to set her up with Mr. Priss? Didn't your mother ever tell you, 'Hear no Evil, See no Evil, Date no Evil'?"

The man looked at her. "Do you have any other choice?" Nicole considered for a moment. The man sighed. "Don't be a fool, Nicole – this gives you another chance of winning back your brother. Do not underestimate Jareth, he will stop you solving the Labyrinth at any cost."

Nicole sighed in defeat. "All right, I'll try." She looked up, only to find herself in her front hall. She heard a voice echoing in the darkness…

"Once you recruit her, you'll find yourself where you started…"

Nicole ran for the phone, praying Sarah would answer this time of night. She punched the number, listening impatiently. After the fifth ring, a groggy voice answered.

"Hello –"

"Sarah," Nicole practically shrieked, her nerves racing. The voice on the other end paused, then spoke more urgently.

"Nicole? What's wro–"

"There's no time now! I need your help!"

"What's wrong? What's happened?"

"I need you to come with me… to the Labyrinth." Nicole gasped.

There was a pause. "Is this some sick sort of joke?"

"No! Sam borrowed your book, and wished himself away. I need you to help me get him back! Please!"

Another pause, much longer this time. Finally, a sigh of defeat. "All right. I'll help you…"

Everything went black once again. When Nicole looked up, she was back in front of the doors, a very confused looking Sarah beside her, dressed in some old sweat pants and a tee-shirt. "What happened?"

"I don't know," Nicole said slowly, looking about. The stranger was nowhere to be seen. She did, however, notice the clock.

"C'mon, we've already lost an hour!" she said, and marched through the doors to the maze, Sarah right behind her.

A pair of hard emerald eyes watched the two women enter the maze from the shrubbery nearby. The small creature giggled to itself as it skipped backwards. This was exactly the kind of information his master was looking for.

End Notes: Oooo, Nicole gets to play matchmaker to the Goblins! Gareth is so evil… I love it! Till next time!