A/N HBP happened. I didn't feel like writing an AU-type story- thought following Rowling's storyline (so far) would be a bit of a twist.

I have the great failing of loving H/D slash, thanks to my best friend, who sent me a link to some definite erotica (liked the Harry/Draco. Not so much the Hermione/Snape or the Ron/Angelina. Ugh.). My friends gave me a lot of shit for getting to the point of sneaking online when my family's asleep to read other peoples fantabulous works, so I was like, FINE! I'll write my own! Avada Kedavera, only I still want Christmas presents! (they were amused for some reason…) So, anyways, here 'tis. Hope you love it (I don't. I'm very discouraged.)- its my 1st attempt ;P

WARNING: HBP spoilers

EXPLAINATION- shifts between Harry and Draco's points of view. My English teacher says I'm good at third person limited omniscient in the past tense, but I need to brush up on first person and present tense (don't ask, you DON'T want to know. Believe you me.). so I'm trying it out. So far, it sucks. Not literally, lol…

EXPLAINATION TWO- as mentioned, I have no idea if there will be consensual rape or not. But, for those of you unclear as to the meaning, is that a person believes that s/he is raping someone, while, in truth, the 'victim' isn't being raped. (idea taken from Jean Auel's The Mammoth Hunters. if you've read it, you know the scene)

IMPORTANT NOTE- the layout of Hogwarts in this story is a combo of the third/fourth movie sets and the CoS computer game map

DISCLAIMER: unfortunately, I do not own any of this. If I did, Dumbledore and the Dark Lord would have been the same person (albeit with a slight dual personality problem), or at least exes. However, I am sure JK Rowling (who it does belong to) has her own master plan. So all that's mine is the story line. I think.

CHAPTER ONE- Thoughts

Harry

I have become very emotional since Dumbledore's death. Especially with Scrimgeour's idiotic choices. He deigned to find Snape innocent, or, at least, not a threat. So I'm stuck with our favorite Potions master again.

It's almost funny. The Minister has taken Fudge's nonstance, claiming that the Dark Lord has been vanquished already. As if!

Yes, I'm back at Hogwarts. No, my plans did not change. I'm still searching for Horcruxes. There are three left (I got Nagini and the locket (which was hidden in 12 Grimmauld Place, of all places !) over the summer) So there's the goblet, the Unknown, and Voldemort himself, left.

I've found the goblet. It was right under Dumbledore's nose the whole time. It's in the Trophy Room, which Filtch has recently rigged with alarm spells. Apparently, someone stole the Undertaker of the Year award, and Filtch was none to happy. So what with the alarm spells, and Voldemort's own very strong Repelling charm on it, we know where it is but not how to get a hold of it. Hermione's been trying to get through the spells.

We're here at Hogwarts till we have destroyed the Goblet and have located the Unknown. Then, it's off to destroy the sixth and face Voldemort.

I hear a noise. I whirl, wiping away a tear that somehow escaped when I was thinking about Dumbledore.

Ginny.

I am grateful to be under the Invisibility Cloak. I lost interest in her when Ron, Hermione, and I were at Godric's Hollow, over the summer. We were faced with five Death Eaters.

I have grown cold since Dumbledore's death. The Death Eaters are gone. I fear that I am growing more like them, willing to kill, afraid- or unable- to love.

Ginny hears my almost silent tears. Damn. She knows its me, comes over.

"Harry," she whispers.

She takes my hand through the cloak, strokes my cheek with her free habd (I shiver) and then lightly kisses where she stroked.

Then she leaves.

She really is quite a clever witch. With that touch, the touch I have been avoiding for so long, she magically conveys some of her thoughts to me.

She understands.

I stand, the cloak sliding to my feet. She half turns at the door, at the sound of the rustle.

"Ginny. I- I…"

"It's okay, Harry. I know."

"Thanks, Gin. You know- I love you"

"I know." She smiles sadly. "But it will never work". There is a slight question in her voice.

I nod assent, almost as an afterthought. She leaves

I do love her. I just can't be with her, ever. I fear to defile her.

I lose myself to tears again.

Perhaps I've become a bit too emotional since Dumbledore's death

I am alone in the entrance hallway, half-masked by my cloak. I pull it over my head, disappearing, as the front doors bang open.

Why's someone coming in at one in the morning?

And… what the fuck! What's Malfoy doing back here? How DARE he show his face?

I let go of the cloak without thinking. It slips off right as he looks at me.

Draco

I hate Snape. I hate Dumbledore. I hate the Dark Lord. I hate everyone. Almost. I don't hate Viola. But she's just an oversized stuffed Snidget, so what does she count?

I hate my family for going Dark in the first place. I hate Potter and his little pals for plunking Dad in Azkaban.

I hate Dad for getting himself plunked there. And, of course, for telling me I was to take his place in the ranks.

I hate Snape for doing my job and running. I hate him for being a double agent. I hate him for being able to come back to Hogwarts- and telling me to. I hate him for being able to do what I could not.

I trudge up the path towards the entrance of Hogwarts. I have become more unsure since Dumbledore's death. I went to a Muggle tattoo parlor to get my Mark removed.

The succeded- to a point

The Mark is gone. My arm still burns when the Dark Lord calls.

Sometimes I respond. Sometimes I don't. My mother doesn't understand.

Scrimgeour's an idiot. Fucking truant officer. I don't want to go back. I can only imagine what they'll do to me. I have to prove my- innocence, my reluctance- if at all possible. I can be like Snape, a double agent. I fear for my life. I don't dread death- I dread over living my welcome.

I come to the doors. I think I can detect voices. But that is ridiculous- no one should be up now. I listen. There are no voices.

I have grown more paranoid since Dumbledore's death.

I burst into the entrance hall. Damn. Too much noise. Hopefully, no one notices. I ease into the middle of the hall and freeze, listening.

I hear a rustle to one side of the stairs. I whirl. There is nothing.

Then, a second later, Potter is there.

I must be going crazy.

A/N- likee? no likee? you know what to do. this is my first (did I say that already?), don't be terribly harsh. Installment #2 comes in anywhere from thirty seconds-a day, depending on how lazy i feel.