Chapter 3: The next step... the final step?

A/N: OK, it obviously didn't work... I couldn't post before my sailing holidays, but I wrote you a nice, long chapter... Hope you'll enjoy!

John had reached the air lock, and said through the radio link with the people on board the space shuttle: "OK, I'm here. Open the outside door."

Almost immediately the door opened. John inwardly sighed. Luckily they didn't have to cut through the door. That would probably have killed the crew faster than the explosion itself. Since the crew didn't have oxygen flasks, they would suffocate before John would be able to give them their oxygen flasks. Fortunately it hadn't come to that.

The door behind John closed, and the one before him opened.

"Thunderbird 3. I'm in."

"Understood."

John saw all five people in the small space. His eyes searched immediately for his wife. Their eyes met, and they both had to fight the urge to run over to each other and hold the other tightly.

But there was no time. They had about 5.5 minutes left. John quickly handed the people the oxygen flasks. They all wore their space suits, for which John was grateful, although he had counted on that.

Without another moment to lose he explained. "OK, we can't all go at once. The airlock of this craft is too small to hold 6 people at once. It can hold 4 people maximum."

John looked at the five people in front of him.

The other woman looked scared, but she seemed to keep her emotions under a close tap. Two of the men seemed healthy scared, but the third one was very nervous, and looked like he was about to have a mental breakdown.

The man who appeared to be the oldest took one look at his nervous colleague and then at the rescue agent.

"OK, well, Susan, Nicole, Terry and Nick should go first then." He said, pointing at the others. The nervous, and obviously youngest person violently shook his head.

"NO! Don't leave me Martin!" The man was in obvious distress. The oldest man, Martin, looked again at him and saw that if he didn't want the man to accidentally kill himself, or get lost in space, he would have to bring him over there himself.

"People, we have to move quickly. Time is running out." John said, having looked at his watch, which indicated they still had 5 minutes.

Nicole seemed to have come to a decision.

"OK, Martin, you take the rest. I'll go with this man. Now hurry up. We don't want to be around this thing once it blows up."

Martin looked like he was going to disagree, and John didn't look too happy either, but both kept their mouth shut. This was not the time, nor the place to have a discussion.

So Susan and the three men went into the airlock and were on their way to Thunderbird 3. John quickly filled Scott in on the situation, thinking in the mean while about what would happen if they couldn't get away from the space shuttle in time. Thunderbird 3 might be damaged or even totally vanish in the explosion. He turned to Nicole who had suddenly been very interested in her oxygen flask.

"What is it?" John asked worried.

"I... I'm not sure. The oxygen level in this flask seems to be very low. In fact, I believe it's decreasing."

John looked at it disbelievingly. "What? It shouldn't. We had them checked out not long ago!"

Nicole nodded. She remembered him telling her. "But obviously there's a leak in here."

John looked at the meter of the oxygen flask and grimaced. There was not enough oxygen left to last the trip to Thunderbird 3. John quickly reviewed every angle of the situation, and made a decision. Taking off his oxygen flask, he instructed Nicole to do the same.

"Give that oxygen flask to me." Nicole did as he asked, not really grasping what he was about to do.

"Wh-Why?" The moment she said it, realization dawned. "NO! John, you can't do this!!"

John, who had been expecting this reaction, took her shoulders gently, but firmly, and looked down at his wife.

"Nicole... I'll have to." He said quietly, looking her straight in the eyes. Nicole didn't want to acknowledge that fact, but knew she was running out of time... But then this... this might- would be the last time she ever spoke to her husband! She didn't want that!

Scott's voice broke the silence.

"Thunderbird 3, calling field commander. What's taking you so long?"

"In a moment Scott." John answered without taking his eyes off his wife.

Scott blinked as heard something in Johns voice which he couldn't quite place. It made him back off though. For the moment.

"I... I never would've guessed we would have to say... go-goodbye under these circumstances." Nicole managed to croak out.

Taking her in his arms, John said: "Neither did I sweetheart, neither did I. But I'm afraid we'll have to." John was quiet for a moment, and then continued. "Nicole, I want you to do something for me. Please continue living, be happy... don't dwell on my... my death." He had to swallow as he said the last two words.

Nicole shook her head. "Don't ask me to do that! I can't live without you! Knowing I'm responsible."

"Nicole! You are not responsible! Please remember that. It could have happened to anyone. Please. I'll always be here. In your heart." Holding her a little further away he sighed. "It's time."

Neither wanted to let go, but finally they had to. Both tried to keep the tears at bay. (A/N: an expression I thought I once heard, please tell me if it's right!)

Then Nicole seemed to gather her strength. "OK, I will live for you. Don't you dare leave me though!" She added, attempting to clear some of the tension.

He leaned down, she reached up, and they shared a short, but passionate kiss.

"I won't." John whispered.

The oxygen level in the space ship itself was noticeably decreasing too. It wouldn't be long, or John would need to use the leaking oxygen flask. Nicole closed her helmet, and with a last look John opened the hatch, and closed it after Nicole had gone in.

Once he was sure she had made it out and was on her way to Thunderbird 3, he looked at his watch again. Two minutes. He had better call in to Scott. Walking to the machine room where he made a quick adjustment in the electric circuit, he called in.

"Thunderbird 3. Come in please."

"What's going on?" Scott asked immediately. "The thing is going to blow some time soon! Where are you?"

"Nicole's oxygen flask had a leak. We switched. There wasn't enough oxygen in it to make it to Thunderbird 3. Nicole is on her way now. I'm on board the space shuttle."

John was now walking up to the control room.

"What do you mean?! John, are you telling me, that you're staying on a space ship which could explode any second now?" Scott asked, the panic quickly starting to increase.

"Yes." John was already getting trouble with breathing. He was trying to keep his breathing steady so he wouldn't waste too much oxygen.

"Now, Scott, listen. I'll try to turn this ship away from Thunderbird 3, so the explosion won't hit you with a damaging force." John was now seated in the pilot seat, orientating himself with the skills of the expert he was. He had to use the oxygen flask now. The oxygen level around him had dropped to zero, and the oxygen flask was not giving him much time either. John started to turn the ship. It listened reluctantly to John's commands, but it did turn away from Thunderbird 3.

"But, but what about Nicole, what about International Rescue? What about us?" Scott hadn't recovered from the initial shock yet, but he did notice that the ship was turning away from them. Realization hit. It wasn't some sort of bad dream. John really was still on that ship. Looking at his watch he saw they still had about 30 seconds before the whole thing would explode.

"Scott." The apparent difficulty with which John spoke, made Scott suddenly very aware of the oxygen problem on board. "Could you tell...everyone I love them... to continue with their lives...don- don't blame this on anyone... ... Scott?"

Scott sat in silence, unable to digest all this. This just couldn't be happening! Then he regained control over his tongue.

"I will John. And John. I... We all love you. Don't you forget!" Scott was fighting the tears. "John?" He waited, but all he could hear was silence. He looked again. Thunderbird 3 would almost be out of the critical zone and Nicole was close by.

"John!! Please! Come in!" John had probably just passed out from lack of oxygen. Yeah, that was probably it. He wasn't dead. He wasn't! Somewhere in the back of his mind, Scott knew that it was too late, that he was denying the truth. But he couldn't yet force himself to acknowledge it, and neither did he want to.

Nicole was now in the airlock of Thunderbird 3 and about to close the door, never taking her eyes off the space ship that was increasing the distance between them.

The 278 was consumed in the explosion. The force of it threw Nicole against the back wall of the airlock before she had had a chance of closing the door.

Feeling numb she looked at the place where once the shuttle had been. The shuttle she had been on. The shuttle where John had been on when it exploded!

All she wanted to do was crumble on the floor, there and then, but something stopped her, and she realized she still had to close the door.

She closed it, and then entered the familiar red Thunderbird. Making her way up into the control room where she knew Scott would be, she blocked out any emotion. Her colleagues didn't know who International Rescue consisted of, and they didn't know who had just...died. They didn't even know someone had died!!

Scott didn't look up when Nicole entered the room. In a monotone, professional voice he said:

"Could you do an onboard scan to see whether we have encountered any damage in the explosion." It wasn't really a question. Nicole obliged.

"No damage, might need a new paint layer. The expl- explosion was far enough away to do any real damage."

Scott nodded.

"I ehm, I suppose I should go down to tell the crew what happened." Nicole said quietly. Only now did Scott look at her.

The initial shock was gone. "Yeah, go tell them what happened. Go tell them. 'Hey, that guy that came to rescue us. He died in the explosion. My oxygen bottle didn't work, so he gave me his and stayed on board. Shame isn't it. Yeah well, it's only a rescue agent. They are used to these kind of things. One person more or less, doesn't make a difference. So, where's the champagne?'"

Nicole looked shell shocked. "Wha-What? Scott, how dare you!! Yeah, you lost a brother! Well, you're not the only one who lost someone! Your whole family lost a member, and they don't even know it yet! How about that! Isn't it time to call in? Well, is it? And for your information, I just lost my husband! Do you think I would like to toast on that? I don't think so! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get to my crew. They're probably waiting for me now." With that Nicole stormed out of the room.

Scott looked lost. The anger that had been forcing the sadness away for a couple of minutes diminished. Instead the sadness, mixed with shame, hit with double force, as he realized what he had said.

Pushing the emotions aside, as John had not very long ago, he called in to base.

The moment Jeff saw his eldest son's face he paled. He had been having a weird feeling for a while now. "Scott! What happened? What's wrong?"

"Dad..." taking a deep breath to keep himself from breaking down he continued, trying not to look at his family. "John. He died in the explosion."

"What?!" "No!" "John?"

Gordon, who had been standing next to the desk, went as white as a sheet and collapsed on the floor, leaning against his father's desk.

Jeff was already seated, which was probably a good thing, because right now, he didn't look like he would be able to even stay in his seat, not to mention stand.

Tin-Tin cried on her father's shoulder. Kyrano stroked her head, trying to calm both of them down.

Brains had closed his eyes, trying to tell him this was a nightmare and he was going to wake up soon.

Grandma looked at Scott who was finally looking up into the room. Tears were starting to form on his cheeks, even though he tried to keep them away. "My goodness, John!" she whispered, and then started sobbing.

Virgil hadn't moved. "Ha-Have you called Alan yet?"

Scott shook his head. "I ehm, I'll do that in a moment."

Virgil nodded. "How about the crew of the 278? Are they all ok?"

"Yes, as far as I know they are not harmed in any way."

There was a short silence before Virgil asked. "How about Nicole?"

That was a loaded question, and everyone in the room held their breath. Scott looked ashamed. "I-She's not... I kind of lashed out to her, when she was handling it all professionally. She was going to tell the crew of the 278 what had happened, and then I kind of lost it, and took it out on her. She yelled back and then stormed out. I'm not sure how she's really doing."

Jeff interrupted. "Where are you heading now?"

Scott looked confused for a moment. "Ehm, I- I haven't turned around yet."

"Well, do that now, drop the whole crew, including Nicole at NASA. I'll have someone pick her up and bring her here. In the mean while, two of us will go and pick up Alan." Jeff had managed to hide all emotions, and order around as if this was just an ordinary rescue operation.

"FAB, Father... I'll eh, I'll call in to Alan." Scott added.

"Ok. Base out." Jeff quickly said. "OK, Brains, Virgil, can you two pick up Alan from Thunderbird 5 with the small space ship we have?"

The two nodded. "FAB Father." Virgil said. "Brains, the ship is still in good condition, isn't it?"

"I-i-i-it is certa-tainly. Joh- We eh, w-w-w-we checked it out t-t-two m-m-months ago."

"OK, off you go." Jeff said. As Virgil and Brains disappeared, he looked at his second-youngest son who was still staring in the distance, leaning against his desk.

"Gordon?" no response.

"Gordon?!" This time the redhead looked up into his fathers eyes with tears streaming over his cheeks. "Oh, Gordon." Jeff sat down next to him and pulled him into a hug. Gordon cried for a long time, and Jeff held him, tears rolling off his cheeks too. Kyrano had brought Tin Tin to her room, and stayed with her.

Grandma still sat on the couch, but she had ceased to sob.

Finally Jeff said, in a steady voice, with only a slight tremble: "Gordon, do you think you're up to picking up Nicole? If not, I'll call a cab or fly her here myself."

Wiping the tears away from his face, Gordon shook his head. "I'll pick her up."

Jeff nodded. "OK."

"I'll freshen up a bit, and then I'll leave." Gordon said, standing up, pulling up his father with him. Giving a nod to his grandma, who returned it with a small smile, he walked out of the room.

In the meanwhile, Scott called in to Alan.

"Scott! Where have you been?! I called in a couple of times, but you wouldn't respond. I tried the watches too, but neither you nor John would answer."

Alan looked worried, and angry. He hated it when he was feeling left out. And the look on his brother's face didn't help.

"Alan. John's dead."

Alan's face went as white as a sheet. "Bad joke Scott." He said.

"I'm not kidding Alan. He died in the explosion of the shuttle."

For a moment Scott was afraid Alan might pass out as he mumbled: "No! Not John! He can't be!"

But the next words really shocked him. "It should have been me. It should have been me!"

"Alan!! Don't you dare say that!" Surprised by the ferocity in Scott's voice, Alan looked up.

"But, John never took unnecessary risks, not with rescues! I am the one who always takes risks and who's not being careful enough. That's what you and Dad keep telling me!"

"Well, in that case, this risk was necessary. Please, do NOT say that you should have been dead, instead of John. Because it's not true!" Calming down slightly, Scott added. "Someone is on his way to pick you up."

Alan swallowed and nodded. "OK. I eh, I'll see you at home then. Take care Scott!"

Scott took a deep breath to calm himself and answered: "Thanks Alan. You too."

Nicole appeared again. She looked at Scott who had looked up the moment she walked in.

"Nicole! I, I'm really sorry, for what I said. I didn't mean it."

Nicole nodded, sighing. "I know."

With that she sat down in the chair next to Scott. She had sat here before. But then John had been in the pilot seat.

"You know. He saved us."

Scott looked confused. "Sorry?"

"He saved us. I wasn't able to close the doors of Thunderbird 3's airlock, and I was still blown back by the force of the explosion. If John hadn't turned the ship somehow, we would all have been where he is now." She stared at space, seeing nothing as she thought back to the last moments they shared, not long ago. She still couldn't grasp it fully that she wasn't ever going to be able to hold him, or let him hold her. "So, what's the plan?" She asked.

"We'll drop you five off at NASA. I think one of my brothers will be there to pick you up and bring you to the island. No-one has recognised him, have they?"

"No, I think they were all too nervous. You're right, you should drop us all off at NASA, so no-one will get suspicious. Are you going to be OK, handling Thunderbird 3 alone?"

Scott nodded. He had flown Thunderbird 3 before, without any help, even though there had always been someone else in the space ship, just in case.

"We're going to land soon. Better buckle up. Everyone else of the crew OK?"

"Yes, they're all fine. They are a bit shook up by what happened, and Nick is still nervous, but everyone will be fine."

"What's this with Nick anyway?" Scott asked, trying to steer them away from the painful subject.

"Well, he's not a very good astronaut, but we needed him for some repairs on the space station, so we took him with us. He's too nervous though."

Scott nodded, and then called in to NASA. He got permission to land and told them he would be landing in 10 minutes. Then he announced to the rest of the crew that they were going to land at NASA.

When they had landed, Scott gave Nicole a quick hug. Scott took off again and headed home.

The moment the couch was in its place, he was enveloped in a tight hug. Realizing it was his grandmother he returned the hug. It was then, that Scott finally broke down. All the while his grandmother was holding him.

After Scott had calmed down he looked around the room, wondering why his father hadn't said anything yet. Not seeing him, he turned back to his grandmother, who told him that Jeff was in his own room.

Some time later the sound of the smaller space ship was heard. Scott and Grandma went to the place where the three men would be entering the house. Virgil, Alan and Brains entered. Hugs and some squeezes in shoulders were exchanged. They knew they should go to the living room, where Jeff would be by now, but somehow everybody was reluctant to go back to the place where they heard the bad news.

They could postpone it for another bit, because they heard a plane coming in, announcing the arrival of Gordon and Nicole.

The group waited until they entered the house. Virgil and Brains hugged Nicole, but Alan backed away. Nicole tried to hide the hurt look, but didn't cover it up quick enough. Scott and Virgil exchanged a look. What was going on?

A/N: OK, well, I hoped you enjoyed that... Should I prepare to avoid some tomatoes and other objects that might be thrown at me? Please review!! More coming up, and I promise, it will be on a happier note. Really!

O yeah, almost forgot, I'll be moving for a bit, so you might not hear from me in a little while (do I hear sighs of relief?). Now, please tell me what you think of this! – zeilfanaat