Chapter 7: Gordon's POV

A/N: Thanks for the reviews!! Maybe for the ones out there who can't stand more sad stuff: Sadness Warning!!! : Soooo, anyone still with me? Please read and review!!!

As in a trance, Gordon walked over the island. This wasn't happening. It just wasn't happening. This was just one big nightmare. In a moment he would wake up, and walk over to John's room, and John would be asleep in his bed, next to Nicole. Yes, everything would be fine. Just fine.

But Gordon felt the truth in his heart, even as he tried to deny it, push it back.

Gordon wasn't just randomly walking, he was walking to his secret place. Or actually, the secret place of both him and John.

They had found it once, when they were younger, playing adventurers. As he came closer to the place, Gordon began to recognise certain things.

There was the place where he had stumbled.

There was the place where he had discovered the small crevice.

That's where John had tried the rocks, to see whether they could hold him.

And then John had suddenly disappeared.

Flashback:

"John?! Where are you?" Gordon had yelled, slightly panicky.

A somewhat muffled voice had replied. "I'm right here. Wait there, I'm coming back."

And after about half a minute John's head reappeared.

"Where were you?" Gordon asked. John motioned for him to climb up.

"Be careful where you place your hands and feet!" he warned. "You've seen how I did it. First try to see whether it can hold your weight, and only then place your weight on it."

Gordon nodded, and concentrated on doing it exactly as John told him.

Under John's guidance he reached the point where he could see where John had disappeared. Within seconds he stood before his older brother.

John nodded, turned around and started to lead him through the natural path that was created between the two rock walls.

Before Gordon knew it he was standing on a small pasture with full view to the sea and to the sky. There was an old tree and some bushes. Squirrels hastily made their way to their homes as their privacy was interrupted.

Gordon looked around in awe. This was beautiful. He looked up to John who had closed his eyes and was facing the sky, a smile crossing over his features.

"Why are you smiling?" The 10-year-old asked his blonde brother.

"You can smell the sea, feel the wind... it's all so peaceful." John opened his eyes and looked his sibling straight in the eyes. "It's as if Mum is here."

Gordon looked at him, then closed his eyes, like John had before and breathed in deeply. With a serious expression he opened his eyes and looked at John. "I can smell the sea... I can feel the wind. But I don't see Mum."

John smiled and tousled Gordon's copper-coloured hair. "I don't mean really 'see'. It's just the peace and quiet." When John saw that his sibling didn't understand he said: "Close your eyes. Think of Mum. How do you feel when you think of her?"

Gordon complied and answered after a little while: "Undisturbed... nice... Hey, that's exactly how I felt when I saw this!"

He opened his eyes and looked excitedly at John, who smiled back at him, satisfied with what his brother had 'discovered'.

End of Flashback

Gordon smiled. He was standing at the exact location as he had all those years ago. It was already getting dark, the Sun was about to set. Instead of returning to the house, Gordon opted to stay here for a little longer.

He sat down in the grass and watched as the Sun made its way through the sky. 'Peaceful.' That's what John had said. How often had he thought back to that moment. Always when he or John had wanted to be alone, they had come here. Gordon chuckled softly. And usually, about an hour or two after one of them had disappeared, the other would quietly make his way towards this place... and comfort the other. Not that it happened very often, just sometimes.

Like that one time... a couple of years ago... just after his hydrofoil accident.

Flashback:

Gordon stared into the night. This was one of the first times he had been fit enough to actually have an evening walk outside without anyone fussing over him. He snorted. He probably should thank John for that. He had seen his blonde brother have a talk with Father and Scott the moment he walked outside.

It wouldn't be very long or the person in question would quietly appear. He always did. This was a comfort to Gordon. He knew that there was always someone who was watching over him.

He turned to look at the water. It was so...alive and moveable, yet so comforting. And still... it was the same element that had almost cost him his life...

He shuddered at the thought. He was just getting back into the swing of life... but would he ever be able to dive into the water as comfortable as before the accident? Gordon sighed.

He tensed suddenly when someone sat down next to him, but quickly relaxed again as he realised who that someone was.

No one said a thing. The only things that could be heard were the waves, the wind and the crickets.

After a while John quietly broke the silence. "Beautiful night isn't it?"

Gordon nodded. "Yeah."

Without looking away from the sea below them, John continued. "Amazing isn't it. The thing you always thought to be your friend, almost caused your death."

Gordon looked at him. "You're being awfully straight to the point, you know. I've known you to be more subtle." He commented, trying to sound playful.

"That's because that's the way we'll have to deal with this. I know you're reluctant, even afraid of diving after the accident."

Gordon sighed and snorted, sounding irritated. "And how would you know?"

"You mean, apart from the fact that when you're swimming, you never go under water, not even in the swimming pool?" John teased.

Gordon chuckled slightly. "That obvious huh?"

"Come on, Gordo, I know you. You didn't think you could keep this from me, did you? Even Father has noticed that you hardly ever swim anymore. Well, voluntarily that is."

Gordon stared ahead of him again. "You're right. If it hadn't been for the fact that swimming was necessary for my recovery I probably would never have entered the water again... Actually, if it hadn't been for you, I probably wouldn't have."

John smiled sadly, remembering the efforts it had cost him to get Gordon to swim in even the shallowest part of the swimming pool at the hospital. He had managed, but it had taken its toll on him emotionally, even though he hadn't shown Gordon that.

"Don't mention it. I'm glad you decided to fight for your recovery. But now you're physically fully healed. It's about time we spent time on the emotional recovery."

"John, you should write books! The way you phrase things..." Gordon said with a cheeky smile. John looked at him, pretending to be hurt, but the twinkle in his eyes betrayed him.

"How about this phrase then? What would you think of spending some time with some fish, some plants and some other sea-animals?"

"Is that an invitation?" Gordon asked.

John thought about that for a moment. "Yes, one you can't decline."

Gordon turned seriously. "Only if you join me."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." They smiled at each other.

"Thanks John."

"You're welcome Gordon."

End of Flashback

After this they had sat there quietly for another twenty minutes before returning to the house.

One sentence seemed to have stuck clearly into Gordon's mind.

"The thing you always thought to be your friend, almost caused your death."

John had said that, thinking about Gordon's passion for water... who could ever have thought that this sentence was also applicable to John himself? With one slight change, but one with an immense impact. Space hadn't almost killed him. Space had killed him.

And there was nothing Gordon could do. John was dead.

And Gordon couldn't even bury him... his whole body had disappeared in one horrifying moment... and Gordon hadn't even known at that point!

At this Gordon broke down. Tears streamed over his face. It was only forty minutes later that he ceased to sob. Breathing in deeply he let the sounds of the night envelop him. The clashing of the waves, the rustling of the leaves, the sound of the crickets. Closing his eyes, remembering those nights, he felt himself relax. It was peaceful.

It was the same, yet different. Gordon concentrated and suddenly he knew.

Not only was it as if Mum was here... John was here as well... And at this Gordon knew that John never really left him. He was still here, only this time he was not visible... he was with Mum.

A/N: and that was the update of today. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review. I would like to know what you think!!