Chapter 8: Jeff's POV

A/N: I know what you must be thinking by now. "Oh no, not another sad point of view!" Don't despair, only a couple more to go and then the happier part will begin. So please bear with me. Please read, enjoy and review!

Blankly Jeff stared ahead of him, not seeing anything of what was there. But in his mind he saw images of the past.

Flashback:

"Daddy?" a young voice sounded softly in the darkness of the study room.

Jeff turned around in his chair and looked down. "What's the matter, John?"

"I can't sleep."

Jeff lifted the four-year-old onto his knee.

"How come?" He asked gently. The boy shrugged and leaned against his father's chest.

"Can you tell me another story about the stars?"

Jeff smiled, having recognised the technique of the young boy. Not that John was lying. He probably couldn't sleep. The reason however was that his son was too occupied with thinking about the stars that he didn't allow his mind to get some rest.

Knowing John wouldn't be able to sleep if he would send him back right away, he agreed to tell him another story. He didn't mind. Actually, he was proud of his son to have this interest in the twinkling dots that decorated the sky.

"OK, but only one. After that you go to sleep. Am I clear?"

John nodded, his eyes looking expectantly up at his father.

Jeff picked him up and walked to the large window of his office where two comfortable chairs were standing. Pulling away the curtains so they could see the stars, he finally settled down in one of the chairs.

This wasn't the first time this had happened. Sometimes Lucille and he would be sitting here, enjoying each other's company, when their second son would show his face. At first they had tried to send him back to bed, but they soon found out it didn't work, so instead Lucille often listened to Jeff when he would tell John about space.

This time Lucille had already gone to bed. After all, being pregnant with your fifth child while the other four are still young and hyper, does tend to make you tired.

So, with Lucille already asleep, Jeff and John had the room for themselves.

John leaned silently against his chest, looking at the dark sky, while Jeff started telling him about the formation of stars.

After about thirty minutes Jeff finished his story. John let out a sigh of contentment and looked up into Jeff's eyes. "Thank you Daddy."

Jeff smiled. "You're welcome John. Now how about finding your way to dreamland?"

John nodded.

"OK, come on then. I'll tuck you in." Jeff carried the boy, who was now rubbing his eyes, to his room and put him under the blankets. After he had tucked him in and placed a kiss on his forehead, Jeff was about to leave the room, when John's soft voice stopped him.

"Daddy?" he asked sleepily, "can you open the curtains?"

Jeff smiled. "Sure."

When he had opened the curtains and headed back for the door, he could see John's face. Eyes closed, mouth smiling. "Goodnight Daddy." he murmured.

"Goodnight John."

And with that he closed the door.

End of Flashback

Jeff's eyes held a tender look as he thought back to those days. The days where Lucille was still alive. The days where the boys were just playing, fighting and making up with each other. The making up part sometimes needed a bit of help, of course, but they would eventually forgive and forget about the arguments.

Jeff closed his eyes. 'Oh John. This is not supposed to happen! You're supposed to walk through that door, smile at everyone, comment on Alan and Gordon's argument, give your opinion on Virgil and Brains' chess game, say to Mother that she once again did a wonderful job baking a cake, or engage Scott into a conversation about either his latest date or about some book about air planes.'

'It's not right that I now have to think about arranging your funeral! It's not right for a father to live longer than his child!'

A thought which had bothered him for a long time, once again showed its head.

'Maybe I pushed you into joining International Rescue, this...fantasy of mine that became reality. Maybe, if I hadn't organised the whole thing, all of you would still be safe somewhere. Your only worries would be about your wives and kids, not about the safety of the entire world!'

Thinking about wives and kids, Jeff realised that he hadn't talked to Nicole yet. In fact, he hadn't really talked to anyone about John's... death yet. He hadn't even called Penelope yet!

Sighing sadly, Jeff mentally prepared himself on how to tell her. This wasn't going to be easy... for either of them.

He let his eyes slide over the pictures on the opposite wall, resting them on the last picture. Swallowing, Jeff turned around, picked up the phone, and walked to the window, where the two chairs still stood.

Sitting in the same chair as he had all those years ago, he could feel the emotions becoming stronger, overwhelming.

Tears started forming until finally they were streaming down his face. He felt like he should be strong for everyone... but who would be strong for him?

And with this thought Jeff let it all go and cried. His only comfort being the picture of Lucille.

A/N: that's it for now. Please review!