Love and Marriage

Chapter Sixty-Six

The next night Sam laid in bed, still trying to fully comprehend the meaning of what the doctor told her this afternoon.

"Thanks for seeing me on such short notice." Sam told the doctor as he entered her exam room the next day. Olivia was right. Yesterday she had called this doctor, dropped Olivia's name down as a reference, and got an appointment for less than twenty-four hours later. That had never happened to her in New York.

"I'm happy to do it." Dr. Reynolds gave her a smile.

"Did my old doctor send you my medical records?" Sam asked concerned that her old doctor hadn't done what she asked him to do.

"Yes. In fact, your doctor in New York faxed over your records this morning and I've taken a brief look at them."

"Good." Sam smiled.

"So you have come here today for a pregnancy test?" Dr. Reynolds inquired.

"Yes." Sam nodded. "I took one of those early pregnancy tests and the results were negative, but I have all the pregnancy symptoms and my period is still late. I think it was wrong."

"It definitely sounds like that is a major possibility." He nodded. "You say you've had all the pregnancy symptoms but I'd like to know exactly what kind of symptoms you've experienced lately."

"Ok." She replied. "I've been nauseous, lightheaded, I've thrown up a few times, I've fainted, I'm exhausted, and I've missed my period."

"I see." He nodded, taking note on his clipboard of her symptoms. "I'll have the nurse come by in a few minutes. She'll take some blood for the pregnancy test."

"How long will it take to find out the results?" Sam hoped that it wouldn't take long. The suspense was starting to bother her.

"It should only take a few minutes." Dr. Reynolds assured her before leaving.

About twenty minutes later, Dr. Reynolds came back into her room. The nurse had already come by to take her blood and she assumed that the Dr. was back to tell her the results. "So? What did the tests show?"

"Congratulations." He smiled. "You are indeed pregnant."

She stared at him blankly, not sure how to feel. Sure she had been really disappointed when the store-bought test had come back negative and a part of her had wished it had been wrong, but now she had to deal with the fact that it was wrong. She was pregnant.

Her hands moved to her stomach, where a life was growing inside of her—a life that was totally dependant upon her. Suddenly all of the doubts and fears she had came back, flooding her mind until all that she could think about was how she wasn't sure she could handle this.

"Samantha? Is something wrong?" Dr. Reynolds asked, looking at her with worried eyes. Most women whom he told were pregnant were happier than her or at least faked happiness. But Samantha seemed scared.

"No, nothing's wrong." She replied, breaking herself of the thoughts that she knew would draw her into a deep spiral. "This is…great news."

"Judging by the hCG levels in your blood it looks like you are about five weeks into the pregnancy."

"That sounds about right." Sam chuckled, remembering back to the drunken night she shared with Martin.

"I'm still going to want you to schedule another appointment with my receptionist on the way out so that I can do a complete exam and confirm when your due date is." Dr. Reynolds explained.

"Ok." Sam nodded.

"I'm going to prescribe some prenatal vitamins for you, and I want you to make sure that you're eating right, getting enough sleep, and avoiding unnecessary stress." He advised.

"I'll do my best." She promised.

"It was very nice meeting you and congratulations again." He said before leaving her exam room.

There was a part of her that still couldn't believe that she was actually pregnant. Martin would be so thrilled. He'd probably want to fly down here immediately, thus ending their break. She wasn't so sure that was a great idea though. They had set up this break for a reason. It was to help them get their marriage back on track. Of course, that was before she knew she was pregnant. That changed everything, or did it?

She wasn't sure what to do. Should she tell Martin about this pregnancy now and end their break or wait until later? While she missed him terribly and would like the break to already be over, she wasn't sure that it would help them in the long run. They needed some time apart, and if Martin found out about the pregnancy there would be no way she would be able to keep him from hopping on the next flight and staying right by her side.

And what if, God forbid, history repeated itself and she miscarried again? Not only would they be devastated, but she was sure that any progress they had made would slip away. Maybe she could just keep this a secret until she got out of her first trimester. That would be ten weeks and more than enough time for their break. Besides if, God forbid, she miscarried then Martin would never have to even know that she was pregnant in the first place. He would be spared that pain.

She was so confused right now and didn't know what to do. Looking over at the clock, she saw it was almost nine thirty. That meant it was ten thirty in New York. She wondered if it was too late to call Martin. Although she had talked to him for a few minutes earlier this evening when he called to check up on Claire, she needed to hear his voice again. She needed his reassurance that everything was going to be ok. She needed to know if he was missing her just as badly as she was missing him.

After debating for a few minutes about whether or not to call him, she finally gave in and picked up the phone from the nightstand. She dialed the familiar number and waited impatiently as the phone continued to ring. She didn't want to think that he was out somewhere on a weeknight but the fact remained that he wasn't answering the phone. Frustrated, she almost hung up when she heard his voice.

"Hello?" He answered in a raspy voice.

"Martin?"

"Sam." She was calling him. That meant that she wanted to talk to him. For the first time since they left he had a genuine smile on his face. "Hey."

"Did I catch you at a bad time?" She asked hesitantly.

"Oh, well, not really." He looked down at the towel that was wrapped around his waist. "I was just getting out of the shower. That's why I was so late answering the phone."

"Oh." It made her happy for more than one reason to know that the reason he hadn't picked up the phone was because he was in the shower. For one, that meant he wasn't out partying—although she doubted he would do that anyway. And two, this meant that she could imagine him wrapped only in a towel, hair still wet and a mess.

"Would you mind waiting on the line for just a moment while I put on some clothes?" He hated to ask her to wait but it was slightly chilly in the house and he wanted to wear more than just a towel.

"Sure." She agreed, still keeping the mental image of him wearing that towel in her head. "Take your time."

He put the phone down on the bed and rushed around the bedroom, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. Then he sat down on the edge of the bed and slowly pulled his pants up, being extra careful not to make his leg hurt any more than it already did. Once he was done with that he grabbed the phone again. "Sorry about that."

"It's ok." She assured him.

"So…" He had just talk to her only hours ago, but they hadn't said anything too meaningful. They had basically just talked about Claire and she had mentioned some things about her new job. "How are you?"

"Fine." She lied, knowing that he wouldn't believe her. "And you?"

"Fine." He lied, knowing that she wouldn't believe him. "Is anything wrong?"

"No." She denied it. "I just called because…well we haven't really had much time to talk lately without Claire being around to overhear it."

"Yeah, we haven't exactly talked much." He agreed. He had wanted to call her after he was sure that Claire had gone to bed many times, but always seemed to lose his nerve. Now that he had her on the phone, he decided to be brave. "I miss you."

It made her heartache lessen slightly hearing those words coming from him. "I miss you too."

"How are you really doing?" He asked, knowing that her earlier answer was a lie. He could tell that something wasn't right with her. He wasn't sure if something was wrong or if there was just something she wasn't telling him, but he knew that something was off. There was something in her voice that cried out to him.

"I told you, I'm fine." She continued to lie.

"I don't know if I believe you." He admitted.

"I'm just tired." She confessed. That wasn't a lie. She was really tired. Moving, leaving him behind, starting a new job, and then finding out that she was pregnant was enough to make her wish that she could sleep for days.

He still didn't believe that she was simply tired. While he believed that she was probably exhausted because of the move and then starting her new job, he still believed that something else was going on. But it didn't seem like she wanted to share that with him right now.

"How are you really doing?" She asked, trying to deflect the questions he most likely had for her.

"Me?" He asked. "I'm doing well."

"Liar." She laughed softly. "You know, I don't believe you either."

"Well how about this? I'm as fine as you are." He replied with a chuckle. He knew that she wouldn't believe that he was fine, but didn't want to bother her by telling her just how much he missed her and how much he wanted to forget about his job and go down there to be with his family. He had known that this break would be hard, but he had never imagined it being this painful.

He felt like a huge piece of his heart had been ripped from his body. The house was always so quiet now when he came home, no longer filled with the smells of dinner cooking and Claire's carefree laughter no longer reverberated among the walls. It was just silent—and it was slowly driving him crazy.

But he didn't want to tell her that because he didn't want to make things harder for her. She had wanted this break and he wasn't going to try and guilt her into cutting it short. He could get through this. He had to get through this.

"I guess I'll let you go. I should get some sleep and so should you." She said. She didn't really want to end their conversation. There as so much that she wanted to tell him, so much that she wished she could tell him. But she couldn't do it without chickening out.

He didn't want their conversation to end. There was so much that he wanted to say to her, so many things that he needed to say to her. But he couldn't do it without chickening out. "Yeah. I guess so."

She was silent for a moment. "Martin?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." He told her.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight." He replied before hanging up the phone.

She stared at the phone once she had hung up. Talking to him had made her feel better in some ways. It helped to know that he was missing her as much as she was missing him. But it also made her more confused about whether or not to tell him about this baby. Maybe she would just keep this information to herself for a little while longer, at least until she got used to it.