CHAPTER 1

Oh no. It was on its way. Again. Summer felt sick of feeling sick and throwing up. This had been going on for over a week now and she was tired of it. Summer ran over to the toilet and let it come out. After a few minutes had passed, she slowly walked over to the sink and washed up. She had to hurry now. If Eric couldn't use the bathroom in time, he would become aggressive again, and she was even more tired of crying and fighting than of throwing up.

Summer looked at herself in the mirror. 'What happened to me?', she thought. Her face was pale, obviously from being afraid of being beaten by Eric all the time. At the beginning, she thought that it maybe would stop again, that he had a few bad days at work. But the beating became more and more regular, like when she wasn't home in time, when she didn't do what he said or if she even dared to disagree with him or confront him with the fact that he was with a different woman almost every night.

And now she was carrying his child, which was probably the most terrible thing that could have happened, since Eric told her over and over again not to forget birth control. He didn't want any children, they meant too much responsibility to him. The day Summer found out about her pregnancy she felt like the whole world came crushing down on her. Just the mere imagination of how Eric would react scared her to death. She was convinced that if Eric ever found out about the baby, he would have he worst rage attack ever.

There wasn't a day that passed without the sweet thought of running away. But who could she run to? Her mother was God-knows-where in Europe, living the 'dolce vita' and not caring a bit about what was going on with her only child. Her step-mother had been sent off to psychiatry after years and years of abusing painkillers and anti-depressants, and her father died in a car crash the year after her graduation from college. And then she even lost Seth, the only boy she had ever loved in her whole life, because of a stupid mistake she made. She didn't even love Eric when she had the one-night-stand with him, it was just the excitement of something totally new that made her cheat on Seth. She never regretted anything more in her whole life. But on the other hand, she never was more thankful that Seth finally managed to forgive her, and that the two of them were now best friends.

But even if she had the best friends in the world, Summer stood in front of the mirror and felt completely alone. She never told anyone about what happened at home, after three years of living with Eric, she was the master of making up silly excuses or denial when she was asked what was wrong with her. She was just too ashamed to admit to anyone that she let a thing like that happen to her. But after what had happened last night, when Eric gave her a bruised lip because she forgot to bring him his beer, it should be really difficult to hide it from the others that she was beaten. He had never hit her in the face before, so they were approaching a new level. Absently, Summer wiped away the tears that had come runnning down her cheeks and threw the thought of leaving Eric away. She didn't have the courage to do it, because then, he might really kill her.

"What takes you so long in there?" Eric's angry voice sounded through the door, and Summer quickly finished washing up, trying to cover her bruised lip from last night with some makeup, managed a smile and stepped out of the door in the sleeping room, where Eric sat on the edge of the bed, with the typical gaze he had when he was about to do it again. Summer's heart pounded like crazy when Eric stood up and came towards her. Surprisingly, he gave her a fat, smacking kiss on the lips that made Summer feel sick all the way again. "I'm gonna be late for work, honey," he snarled and went into the bathroom. Honey. Summer disgusted that word. Who was she kidding? She disgusted Eric, she disgusted her life and now, being pregnant, she was trapped. "Jackass," she mumbled and put on her clothes, her mood lighting up a bit by the thought that she was off to work in five minutes or so.

Summer gave herself a final check in the bedroom mirror. Again, she looked terrible, but she didn't even care. The most important thing was that nobody saw her bruised lip, and she had managed to make it disappear the best she could. Quickly, Summer grabbed her purse and keys, and shouted through the room, "I'm leaving for work now!" She heard Eric turning the shower off and was afraid that she again had done something wrong. "Take care and be home at seven!", he yelled. Without answering, Summer left living hell and ran off into a day of short freedom.

Seth sat on his huge brown desk in his office, trying to get the article done he should have been doing last night when he came home. His eyes went to the photo on his desk. It showed Madison Baker, his cute blonde girlfriend he had been living together now for two and a half years, who was the reason that he didn't finish the article. Seth didn't remember a night in the last week when the both of them didn't fight, mostly about the fact why Seth worked so much and neglected Madison for it.

Seth's eyes wandered to another picture he had on his desk, showing him, Summer, Ryan and Marissa on their college graduation day. He stared at Summer for a long time, recalling how she urgently pleaded him to let her leave work yesterday a little sooner. In his mind, Seth compared the Summer on the picture with the Summer she had been since the day college ended. Her happiness had almost completely disappeared and she always had a look of fear in her face. Summer looked very unhappy, and worst of all, she always denied that she had problems when someone asked her what was wrong. Seth didn't want to admit it, but he still cared a lot about Summer. Forgiving her for cheating on him had been one of the hardest things he had ever done, but now she had become the most important person in his life. And knowing that she was hiding something made him crazy. But so far, it hadn't been evident what her problem was.

The ringing of the phone woke Seth up from his daydreaming.
"Cohen Classic, Seth Cohen speaking," he answered in his most professional voice.
"Hey, sweetie, it's me!" Madison practically sung the words into the receiver, which made Seth feel guilty, recalling that he just had made Summer the most important person in his life.
Seth cleared his throat and sat up straight. "Hey, Maddy, how's it going?"
"Just great. Marissa and I just received the first pieces of our new winter collection, and it's just awesome! I tell you, Marissa is the best designer in the country. No, probably on the planet!"
She sounded very happy, and Seth smiled. Since Madison and Marissa had opened their own fashion store, he had to hear almost every night how great Marissa was, and how talented and so on. In his opinion, the clothes the both of them purchased just didn't go along with his style, which was the reason why he had never bought something from them.
"I bet the clothes don't go with my Jew-fro, like they never do," he said simply, teasing Madison a little.
She laughed. "Yeah, well, no one has such a special taste than you… Listen, I have to go now, I just wanted to remind you that we have dinner reservations at seven tonight. Don't be too late again!"
Before Seth could answer, Madison had hung up.
Sighing, he turned his attention to the computer, when he saw Summer standing in the doorway, looking worse than any other day this week. She had a weird bruise on her lip, which she obviously tried to hide underneath a thick layer of make-up. Seth felt sick imagining what might have happened the night before. He stood up and came towards her.

Summer saw the concerned look on Seth's face and quickly gave him a huge smile. "Good morning, Cohen!", she chimed. Seth stopped on his way over to her. He knew that reaction only too well. Once again, Summer tried to deny that something was going on.
"Morning. You okay? What happened to your lip?", Seth asked, examining her beautiful face.
Summer smiled broadly. "Oh, nothing," she struggled a moment to find her words, "I fell. Stupid me. Had one of my rage blackouts, and bang!" Summer laughed insecurely. She paused a moment to see if he was believing her.
"Listen, I just wanted to ask how many copies of 'Atomic County' should be put on the next edition. The publisher called yesterday and I forgot to ask you then."
Never in a million years Summer would have thought that she actually would work for a comic book company, let alone for Seth Cohen, but right after college, when her whole world started to fall apart, and she didn't know where to turn, Seth took her in as one of his assistants, and since that day Summer officially worked in comic book business.
"Those comic book geeks are totally freaking me out.", she joked, trying her best to hide her feelings.
Seth could take a hint when it was given to him. "Tell them we'll go with another 7,000 copies." Sometimes, the success of his comic book company was unbelievable to him.
"Great." And with that, Summer left the room.
For a few moments Seth stood in the doorway and looked after Summer until she was around the corner and out of sight. Lost in thought, he strolled back to his desk, to finally finish the article for the local newspaper.

Chapter 2

During her lunch break, Summer went over the street to Marissa's fashion store, "The Coop". After having a very stressful week, Marissa agreed to have lunch with her best friend today. They didn't see each other very often these days, so that was the least she could do. And above all, Marissa sensed that something weird was going on with Summer for some time now, and she made it her aim to find out what was bothering her.
When Summer entered the store, she saw Madison Baker, Seth's girlfriend, standing behind the counter, looking through some of the store's orders. The tall blonde was so focused on her work that she didn't hear Summer coming in. Only when Summer cleared her throat, she looked up and smiled at her.
"Hey, Summer," she greeted her friendly. "You looking for Marissa?"
Summer smiled back. "Yeah, we were supposed to have lunch together," Summer answered. She didn't really know how to feel about Madison. On the one hand, she was a real kind and sweet person, on the other hand Summer had the slight feeling that Madison didn't like her, and she could only guess why. Madison knew that Summer had always been Seth's first and probably one love, and the two of them working together seemed not to make her happy.
Just when Madison was about to go and get Marissa, the same entered the room from the repository.
First she waved at Summer, and when she saw what happened to her lip, her smile froze. "Hey, Sum," she said, a concerned look on her face. "What happened to…"
"My lip? Yeah, I guess I was too hungry at breakfast," Summer lied, laughing insecurely. „So, Coop, are you ready to go?"
Marissa nodded and told Madison that she'd be back in one hour.

The two girls had lunch at their favorite café, "The Bluebird", which was only five minutes away from Marissa's fashion store.
Being with Marissa made Summer always feel like she was seventeen again, when they had had the best days of their lives. When she was with her best friend, Summer could almost forget what a mess her life really was.
Right after their general chatter, they went on to their boyfriends. Or at least Marissa did.
She picked in her salad with her fork, a dreamy look in her eyes. "I can't believe he has been away for only two days," she complained, "to me, it feels like an eternity."
Summer smiled. "Well, he makes good money, and he'll be back sooner than you want him to be," she joked.
Ryan worked as an assistant for an architectural office in Newport Beach, the 'heir' of the Newport Group Kirsten had put up after Caleb's death. And since Ryan's career was just getting started, Marissa and he didn't see much of each other those days. While the two friends were having lunch, Ryan supervised a project in Boston and wasn't expected back for at least three more weeks.
Summer admired Ryan and Marissa for having managed to stay together as a couple since their Senior Yeat at High School. 'And once again', she thought, 'if it wasn't for Eric, Seth and I would be still together, too.'
Marissa sighed again and awoke Summer from her daydreaming. "I know," she sadly said. "Well, at least I have you," Marissa added with a smirk in Summer's direction.
Summer smiled at her and nodded. She had to tell somebody about the baby. And she knew that if she didn't even have the courage to tell Marissa, it was hopeless to think about telling Eric.

So she took a deep breath and started. "I'm pregnant," she said, without warning Marissa that such a huge issue might come up now.
Marissa just sat there, and her chin dropped. "You are?" she asked unbelievably. From the look on Summer's face she didn't know how to react. "Well, that's great, isn't it?"
For a moment, Summer was thinking about telling Marissa everything. About her fears, and about how Eric treated her. But for some reason she decided to mimick the happy mother-to-be.
"Of course, it's fabulous!" she chimed. "Well, the morning sickness is always like… Ew! Plus, I am gonna look like a ton in no time", she added.
Marissa laughed. "Well, I bet your designer clothes won't fit for a long time!"
Summer giggled. "Why not? I'm awaiting the day that Chanel's finally gonna bring out a new collection for pregnants. Hey, isn't that sort of a gap in the market for your shop to fill in?"
Marissa grinned at her. "You might be on to something," she said, "But now tell me: how far along are you? And how did Eric react? He's probably walking on cloud number nine right now, huh?"
Summer's gaze went to the floor. "I'm almost fourth month," she told her, "And Eric doesn't even know yet. And so doesn't anyone else."
Marissa couldn't help but notice the look of desperation on Summer's face. She reached over to take Summer's hand. "Hey, Sum, you okay? I mean, Eric's gonna be thrilled when he finds out, won't he?"

Again, the thought of telling Marissa everything crossed Summer's mind. And again, she decided against telling her. She was afraid that everyone who was going to help her might be having the same problems with Eric that she had. And she didn't want to burden anyone with her problems.
"Well, I suppose," she answered. "But still, you have to promise me that you won't tell anybody, okay?" She started to search her handbag, pulled out a sonogram picture of her unborn baby, and handed it over to Marissa.
Marissa smiled when she saw the little something that was supposed to be a human being. "Is it a boy or a girl?", she wanted to know.
Summer smiled. "They don't know for sure, but from all the pictures they've taken so far they think it's gonna be a girl,", she said, this time sounding honestly happy.
"Sum, as long as you are happy about it, I'm sure everything's gonna be just fine.", Marissa said, trying to encourage her friend.
Summer nodded sadly. "Well, try and tell Eric that," she mumbled, on the one hand hoping Marissa hadn't heard, on the other hand wishing she had. The latter was the case. Summer could tell from the questioning look on Marissa's face.
But even before Marissa could react, Summer threw a glance at her watch, decided that it was time to go back to work and didn't give her friend a chance to ask more questions.

When the girls arrived at "The Coop", Madison was still standing behind the counter, typing on her computer. Again, she looked up and smiled friendly at Marissa and Summer.
"How was lunch?" she asked.
"Great!" Marissa and Summer answered unisono, which made them laugh.
"So, if you want to take your lunch break now, go ahead," Marissa suggested to Madison.
"Oh, I can take a hint," Madison said, and smiling, like she always did, left the store for some food.
Marissa went behind the counter and faced her friend. "Are you sure you are ok? You seem very upset." she said.
Summer rolled her eyes. "God, Coop, what is it with you? I'm just tired. Pregnant stuff. Morning sickness. Mood swings. Get used to it."
Marissa nodded. Summer could see that her mind was still working. "Hey, I just got the idea… what if we'd have a girl's night out? It seems we didn't have one since High School. Say, on Sunday?" she suggested.
Now Summer's mind was working. Could she go out without Eric noticing it? 'Well, when he goes off to see one of his whores, I could take a break,' she thought. Usually, it took Eric a couple of hours until he came back from the women he rented. And if she was home like half an hour earlier than him, she could pretend that she was already asleep when he came home.
"Sounds great!" she finally answered. "Are you picking me up? At say, eight?"
Marissa smiled. "Sure. Looking forward to it!"
And after the two of them said their goodbyes, Summer was off to work again, leaving Marissa with her mind working hard behind.