Chapter 11: Grandma's POV

A/N: I use the dates of births and other information from the Thunderbird website http/www. thunderbirdsonline. com /site/characterprofiles/index. html. (Take away the blank spaces). Unfortunately, Grandma's 'file' wasn't there, so I decided that since the files say that Jeff's born in 2009 (hey, let's celebrate his birthday in a four years!) Grandma should be born in about 1980 (assuming she had Jeff when she was 29). So, basically, in this story, Grandma is 91 years old. Yes, quite old, but still in her right mind. For the ones that want to know, this story takes place in the year 2071. Don't worry, I have a full timeline plotted out for myself, so it should make sense in one way or another.

A/N2: Criticism is welcome. (And please if you see a spelling mistake or anything grammatically incorrect, tell me so I can change it! And if possible, tell me why it's wrong so I won't make the same mistake again. Thank you!)

A/N3: Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry it took such a long time! I was stuck. I had written myself into a corner, and I couldn't get out. So, I just started over, and voila, I avoided the wrong turn this time! Enjoy!

From chapter 10:

The blonde-haired woman cried uncontrollably, leaning against the wall, sitting on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

She didn't notice the old woman standing in the door opening, watching her with sad eyes.

Chapter 11:

The old woman leaned against the wall of the hall, just outside of the bathroom, and closed her eyes.

Her heart ached for her granddaughter-in-law who was now alone in a family of which she had only been officially part of for two short years, before losing her only link, her husband of as many years.

Her heart ached for her son who had lost his wife twenty-six years prior, and had now lost a son to the organisation he had built. The organisation that was intended to save lives had cost him the life of his son. The son who had inherited the soft, caring nature of his wife. The son who could be relied on to be there for everyone. The son who was least found in danger zones had died during a rescue mission, leaving behind a heartbroken family.

Her heart ached for her grandsons who had lost a brother. A brother who they hadn't expected to be the first to die. After all, John was in Thunderbird 5 for the most part, and he had a wife. And, John was always there. John was the one you'd go to for advice, for comfort or just for some small-talk.

Once she had feared this family would fall apart, twenty-six years ago, because of the death of Lucille. Yet the opposite had happened. The bonds between Jeff and his sons and the bonds between the brothers themselves had strengthened.

Now she felt the same fear showing its ugly head, no matter how hard she tried to push it back. A chain, no matter how strong, could break if one of the links was taken away. A rope could hold a lot together, but if one thread was broken, the whole rope could start to unravel until there was no rope left.

'No,' she told herself firmly. 'That won't happen. We're a family, and we'll stick together. We'll grieve, support each other, and somehow move on as we've done before.'

'But before you had Grant to lean on.' The small voice persisted.

Josie leaned her head back until it rested against the wall. When she was forty-one her parents had died. Twenty-six years ago she had lost her daughter-in-law. Five years later she had lost her husband. And now she had lost her grandson. And she wasn't getting younger either. She was ninety-one already. How she had lasted through all the losses she didn't know. Or actually, she did. She had always found strength in looking at the people that were still alive. She would look around and feel she was needed. Her family needed her to be strong. And she would be.

She would be there for the ones that needed her, and in helping them, she would be able to deal with it herself.

The sobs coming from the bathroom had become softer and Josie straightened.

'Don't worry John. I know you would want to be with her at the moment, but don't worry. I'll take care of her. And I'll take care of the rest of the family as well. You just rest peacefully, my dear son. We'll be fine.'

She was about to move into the bathroom as she thought of something else.

'And Grant. Keep your eye on that stargazer of ours and his mother. I'll help you when the time's right.'

And with that she quietly walked into the bathroom, took a washcloth, soaked it with cold water and held it against Nicole's forehead.

Nicole looked up, tears still streaming down her face, but she managed a thin smile which Josie returned.

For a moment they just looked at one another. Then Grandma opened her arms slightly and Nicole pushed herself off the ground and stepped into a tight hug.

That's how they stood for a while, in complete silence, each drawing comfort from the other.

"Oh Grandma," Nicole sobbed, "Why did this happen? Why?"

Josie stroked the hair of the younger woman and sighed inaudibly.

"I wish I knew."

"How do you deal with it? Why was it my oxygen tank that was leaking? I'm responsible. How did it happen? I'm responsible for my husband's death. I just… I just don't know anymore. I can't think straight anymore. His last words, those last moments, they just keep repeating until the… until the… explosion. Then it's just blank. He's gone. But everything I touch, everywhere I go, it all reminds me of him."

Josie let the distressed woman speak. When Nicole was finished, Grandma said:

"Dear. It wasn't your fault. Everyone could have gotten that flask. Don't hold yourself responsible. I know John didn't hold you responsible, so don't dishonour him by holding yourself responsible. As for the things that remind you of him… there will be times when you'll remember him without feeling like crying. Just wait and see. The time will heal the wounds."

Nicole pulled back slightly and Grandma gave her a reassuring smile. "Really."

A small smile appeared on Nicole's face, but it quickly vanished and she dove back to the toilet. As there was nothing left in her stomach, all Nicole ended up doing was dry heaving.

Josie looked at her granddaughter-in-law calculatingly. Slowly she asked: "Nicole. When was the last time you and John were together? On Tracy Island I mean."

In between the heaving and catching her breath, Nicole managed to answer.

"About… six, seven weeks ago."

"Have you been sick for a long time?"

Nicole shook her head. "No, just about two times last week. I figured I've got some nasty bug. Nothing to worry about."

Josie picked up the washcloth which had fallen on the tile floor and soaked it again before handing it back to Nicole who took it gratefully.

Exhausted Nicole leaned against the wall. Josie let her catch her breath before indicating to John and Nicole's room. "Let's get you to bed. A cold tile floor is no place for anyone to sit."

Nicole didn't feel up to protesting, and the idea of being able to lie down comfortably was quite appealing. The disadvantage would be that the empty space next to her would only be accentuating the loss she had suffered.

Josie led her to the bed and made her lie down. Once she had the younger woman settled she momentarily disappeared only to reappear with a plastic bucket which she placed next to the bed, and a glass of water which found a place on the night stand.

Then the old woman sat down carefully on Nicole's side of the bed, careful not to sit on John's half. Her old, but still alert eyes searched the eyes of the young woman who had her eyes closed.

"Nicole. Have you thought about the possibility that you might be pregnant?" she asked carefully, but straight-to-the-point.

Immediately Nicole's eyes flashed open.

"P-pregnant? But how…?"

Grandma cocked an eyebrow and a smile tugged at her lips.

"Well, I would have thought you would know by now the how's of becoming pregnant."

Nicole, who was too surprised at first to register the question she had asked, blushed as her mind caught up with the answer she had received.

Josie grinned good-naturedly. "Don't be ashamed. After all, Jeff and Lucille have created five sons and if I'm correct, it could have been more, as it certainly wasn't for lack of trying."

This comment did nothing to take away the red colour on Nicole's cheeks, but nonetheless a small smile appeared.

"Well," Josie prodded, "is it possible? Could you be pregnant?"

Nicole nodded slowly. "Yes… yes, it is possible…"

Her mind was only just starting to comprehend what this meant. A joy made its way through the sadness and filled up a small part of the empty space John's death had left in her heart.

Josie noticed the change and smiled.

"Now, don't let us get our hopes up yet. We will need to check this. Do you want me to get a pregnancy test from the cabinet in the sickroom?"

Nicole gave the older woman an incredulous look.

"You mean Father keeps pregnancy tests on the island?"

Grandma chuckled.

"Well, not exactly. I 'updated' the cabinet contents just days before your marriage. Jeff probably would have gone ballistic had I told him to add pregnancy tests to the standard contents of the sickroom's cabinet. Besides, with Alan and Tin Tin on one island, in one house, I figured it could always come in handy." Josie added with a snort.

Nicole chuckled slightly, but then a hint of fear crept into her eyes.

"But Grandma… what if I am pregnant? Our child would grow up without a father. And what would Father think? Or Scott, Virgil, Gordon and Alan for that matter?" Nicole asked worried.

"Now you listen to me carefully. Your child may not grow up with a father, but he or she will have four uncles on this island who will spoil the kid tremendously, a grandfather who, if possible, will be even worse, and a great-grandmother who will try and minimise the damage, as well as spoil him or her rotten herself. Besides, he or she will have a wonderful mother. And if you just tell your child everything about John, the kid will know his or her father, even though he's not there physically."

Josie saw the doubt still lurk in the shadows, so she added. "Look at these boys. They've grown up with only one parent as well, and even though it has hurt them to have lost a mother at that age, they have become strong, fine young men. Now, shall I go get this pregnancy test or not?"

Nicole grinned, visibly relieved. "Yes please. And Grandma? Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Josie was back within five minutes, and she put the pregnancy test on the bed, just next to Nicole.

"Here you go. I'll leave you to it. But if you need something, just yell. I'll be in the kitchen."

Nicole nodded her thanks. Grandma closed the door and Nicole was left sitting on the bed, staring at the test besides her, contemplating whether she wanted this child. It didn't take her very long to reach her decision.

Yes, she wanted this child. Time to find out if there was something to want…