To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry--
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do.
Light up, light up;
As if you have a choice.
Even if you cannot hear my voice--
I'll be right beside you dear.
-Snow Patrol, Run.
vii.
Seventh year broke Angelina's heart.
"Alicia!" she shrieked with laughter as the blond girl finished whispering about her date with John Baker, a shy, good-looking Hufflepuff. "You're surely having me on."
"I'm not," Alicia grinned wickedly, showing her pearly teeth in a breathtaking smile. She had her fingers curled around a cup of tea, and was leaning back on her free hand. The moonlight that glinted off the lake defined the edges of her hair into spun-silver. "You know how he's all quiet and calm? Get him alone and he's absolutely--"
"Who's absolutely what?" a voice interrupted amusedly. Angelina immediately sat back and looked away from Alicia, clearing her throat. Lee looked at them with an amused expression on his face, the twins coming up behind him. "What were you two ladies talking about?"
"Nothing," Angelina said calmly, running her hands through her dark hair, flustered. "--and besides, you prats need to mind your own."
It was midnight and all of the graduating seventh-year class was on the grounds, having a bit of a gathering; Dumbledore had agreed, much to Dolores Umbridge's disapproval. Laughing bodies were scattered over the dark grass, and bottles of Butterbeer were clinking to the sound of excited voices.
Angelina looked around, and noticed that even in the laughter of her classmates, an undertone of melancholy could be heard tinkling in their words and movements. This was the end of them, these students who had started as children, wide-eyed and afraid of meeting new people and now clinging onto the friends they've loved for seven years; in the threat of a dark future, looming upon this group who weren't as brave as they all thought they were, boys and girls became uncertain of their lives outside of this sanctuary.
"Any of you ladies fancy a swim, then?" George asked, pulling off his shirt to reveal a slim torso, pale and the same colour of the moon tonight. Shadows were etched into the space between his ribs, dark and beautiful. Fred's body was the same, but the freckles were arranged at different intervals, in different constellations. Also, Fred had a scar that ran parallel to his collar bone; he insisted he had received in when George was sleepwalking and thought he was salami.
"I'm game," Alicia grinned, standing up and undressing. Lee followed suit, as well as Fred. Angelina hesitated when his shirt began to lift over his slim stomach, exposing the hipbones that were peeking out of the top of his dark trousers. She swallowed.
"Come on, Angie," Fred said, smiling cheekily and squeezing her arm. "We've all see each other in our knickers before."
She glared and let him think that's what she was hesitant about. She really didn't give a rat's arse if Fred saw her starkers.
Unbuttoning her cardigan and shaking it off behind her, she bent down to roll up the legs of her trousers as the rest had done. She heard splashing and looked up, grinning as Alicia launched herself into the water after George, the two bodies blurs of white and crimson, her long hair whipping out behind her and catching the moonlight.
"Angelina, I dare say you look rather fit in that white bra of yours," Lee said, smiling charmingly. His dark thick hair fell into his darker eyes, and his chest was slightly more defined than the twins'-- he was a sharp-looking bloke, no arguments there, but it seemed that with her, it always came back to--
"Oi," Fred called as he put Lee into a head-lock from behind, wrestling him to the ground. He had a goofy smile on his face and his eyes were dancing, bright and young in the dark. "Are you trying to pull Angelina?"
They wrestled for a bit more until Lee stumbled a bit too close to the lake and fell in. He was rewarded with a loud splash and roaring laughter.
"The water is f-fucking f-freezing," Lee swore, throwing his head back and shaking his dread-locks out of his face. Fred grinned down at him.
"Should have thought about that before you tried to make a move on my bird, eh?"
She tried not to blush at his comment and came up behind him. She poked him in the small of his back with a sharp nail. The smooth, freckled back turned to reveal a beautiful, smiling face.
"Your bird?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. Her heart sped up in a familiar pattern when she observed that sly smile on his moonlit face, coy and seductive and she really needed to get into that cold water.
"I know you wish you were, love," he smirked, coming forward and slipping his slim arms around her waist. She looked down at his pale skin against her smooth dark side and tried not to shiver; she brought her hands to rest on his arms. "What woman doesn't want to be kissed by these perfect lips or touched by these talented fingers," he whispered, bringing his mouth to her ear, his lips moving against her earlobe, shooting fire straight down her spine to her knees.
"Or fucked by my--"
A swift push to his chest sent him flying off the grass and neatly into the freezing lake. His head resurfaced and he shook the crimson hair out of his eyes, red lips parted in a perfect 'o' at the temperature.
"That should cool you down, Weasely," she smirked.
An hour and a half later, the five soaking bodies dragged themselves out of the lake. They were all dark shadows, dripping pearls of glistening starlight on the shadowed grass; a cool breeze went past, and all of them instinctively shivered, looking for their clothes.
"Blimey, I've got diamond cutters," George murmured through chattering teeth. His dripping hair fell into his eyes as he bent down to retrieve his shoes.
Angelina pulled on her white Hogwarts blouse, frowning as the starched material clung uncomfortably to her body. She shook out her hair and heard several mumbles of annoyance from her surrounding mates. She could feel it curling wildly around her face.
"What time is it?"
"Fuck," Lee swore. "Quarter t' two."
"Are you all ready to head back, then?" Alicia asked, smoothing back her hair. It had turned into gold from the dampness of the water and she had buttoned her shirt unevenly, creating an endearing charm about her.
"Lead me to a warm fire," Angelina smiled.
They walked back in silence, tired and sleepy. She looked up at the moon, so bright and big it blotted out the stars; another breeze went by and she closed her eyes, savouring the feel of freedom and youth, something she knew she couldn't hold on to for much longer.
"Angelina," came a soft voice from behind her. Turning, she gasped as his long fingers attacked her sides and tickled her mercilessly. She fell to the ground, rolling and kicking and shrieking with laughter; he wouldn't stop, just knelt down beside her, crazed smile on his face and his damp hair falling mischievously into his narrowed eyes.
"This-" he said breathlessly, grabbing her ankle and tickling the soles of her feet, ducking her swatting hands. "-is for-" her lungs felt as if they would burst, she was shaking so hard, screams of laughter ripping their way out of her mouth. "-pushing me." Out of the corner of her eye she saw the three of them yards away and shaking their heads. They kept walking.
"Fred," she gasped, thrashing her head on the cold ground. "Fred, please."
"Please what?" he asked innocently, scraping his fingers up and down her side again, rapidly.
"Please stop," she laughed, kicking at him. "Fred, please!"
"I love it when you beg," he grinned coyly, taking his hands away and sitting back on his hands.
She took gasping breaths, savouring air. Glaring at him, she took in his mussed up appearance; his apricot hair wild around his face and his lovely eyes alight with triumph and laughter. His slim chest was rising and falling slowly, pale and speckled in the silver night light, tapering down to his thin waist that disappeared into his dark trousers. She was hopelessly smitten, she realized.
With a noise a little like a war cry, she launched herself at him and knocked him flat on the ground. He let out an indignant yell and rolled over her, pinching her arm. She gasped and he let out a whoop of laughter. She punched him hard in his stomach and he fell beside her, eyes wide; she scrambled on top of him, pinning his arms to his sides with her knees.
"This is familiar," she mused, crossing her arms and smiling down at him.
"Yeah," he said brokenly, head lolling on his shoulder, obviously in pain. "All we need is Pomfrey to catch us."
She reached down and smoothed his hair from his eyes. He looked up at her, amused, the corner of his mouth twitching. He was taking deep breaths and she felt his chest move underneath her.
"I should think," she whispered, feeling bold and tracing his collar bone with his finger, "you'd be apologizing to me by now."
"I should think," he breathed after a moment, "that you'd know what that does to me."
"When you apologize?" She asked, smiling, stroking the hollow at his neck softly.
"No," he said, his smile gone and his eyes intense. "When you touch me."
Her fingers stopped with her heart and she glanced at him. His face was serious but his lips were amused; he shifted underneath her and she pulled her knees off his arms, flushed and shaking.
"Angelina," he murmured, sliding his warm hand slowly up her thigh to rest lightly on her hip. She bit her lip when a slow heat curled in her stomach and a trail of heat burned when his hand touched her. "Let me up."
She nodded and slid off him, but not before she noticed that she had brushed against something hard in his-- Oh Merlin.
Before she could even look at him, before she even had time to register what had happened, he had sat forward and pulled her underneath him, his arms tightly around her waist.
"Angelina," he said hoarsely, his lips an inch from hers and not close enough. His breath was warm and smelled of pumpkin pastry. She closed her eyes and grasped his shoulders when she felt his arousal on her thigh. "I'm going to kiss you."
She buried her face in his neck, shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "I can't believe you announce things like that."
"I make exceptions for you," he grinned and slipped his hand on her stomach, sliding the buttons on her damp shirt swiftly out of their holes. His bare skin on her stomach made her breath hitch. She looked up at him.
"Fred," she began. He leaned forward slanted his hot mouth against hers, cutting off any coherent sentence that was forming. His soft lips were moist and insistent against hers and against hers they felt like a puzzle piece sliding into place. Her heart jumped into her throat when his tongue ran along her bottom lip and entered her mouth, gentle and sweet. She sighed.
His lips traveled to her ear where he traced his tongue along the shell and she bit her lip. Her hands ran across his bare shoulders to tangle in the hair at the nape of his neck. His hand was slowly making it's way up her back and to her bra clasp; he fumbled once and she grinned. He bit her earlobe.
"Don't laugh at me," he said throatily, looking at her, his lips swollen. "You make me nervous."
The grin left her face and she ran her hands down his chest, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the hollow at his throat. She felt a moan go though him and smiled against his neck. She trailed her tongue along his throat as she sat up slowly, Fred moving to accommodate her.
"I want to make you more than nervous," she smiled against his ear, and straddled his lap; she felt his length along her and gasped. Throwing her shirt behind her, she curled her arms around his neck and his slim fingers slid up her back finally undid her clasp. Her bra slid down her shoulders where it was discarded unto the ground.
"Oh, Merlin," she moaned when his hands slid down her back and he pulled her forward, crushing her breasts to his chest.
"Angelina, I need to tell you something," he gasped as her hand slid down his chest to rest on the space above his trousers.
"Why are you talking?" she asked, sealing her lips over his. He sucked on her bottom lip and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. She felt secure and incredibly hot.
"I'm--" he began, separating their faces with a loud smack. "I'm leaving Hogwarts tomorrow."
Angelina felt like she had been doused with a bucket of cold water.
"What?"
He looked distinctly uncomfortable. His face was flushed and his lips were crimson and swollen, his eyes dark and serious. She could feel his heart pounding against hers, the pulse racing in his neck, under her fingers.
"Me and George, we're-- leaving."
"Tomorrow?" she asked, head spinning.
"Yeah...we're," his voice lowered to an intimate whisper but it was laced with regret. "--dropping out."
"Right," she breathed, taking her arms away from him. "Get your hands off me."
His eyes widened. "No, Angie, please--"
"I said let me go!" She growled, pushing herself away and standing up. She picked up her shirt and quickly pulled it on, her fingers fumbling and shaking. She could feel angry tears burning at the corners of her eyes.
"Don't do this," he said, standing up and grabbing her arm. She yanked it away.
"Let me get this straight," she said, heart pounding uncontrollably. "You're dropping out of Hogwarts tomorrow, leaving me stranded with that horrible Umbridge cow, taking off and pretending like you don't care about me?" She added, "We're friends, I mean."
"Angelina," he said, voice shaking, his eyes burning, fists clenched at his sides. "I would never pretend that I don't care about you, I've always lov--"
"Shut up," she whispered, finishing the buttons on her shirt and finally looking at him. His pants were unzipped and there were bite marks on his neck, his hair in mad disarray. Fuck him for being so beautiful, she thought.
"If you cared you wouldn't be leaving your friends, we- we were supposed to graduate together this year, and--" she broke off, wiping tears from her eyes. "You hate me, you must."
He came forward and grabbed her face, his eyes searching hers, intense and in pain. His thumb awkwardly stroked her cheek, brushing her tears away.
"Angelina, you need to know that I love you," he whispered, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her so deeply and so hard that her eyes fluttered closed and she gripped his forearms so she wouldn't fall. "I would never, ever hurt you," he said against her mouth.
"But you are," she hissed, pulling away. "What were you planning? Fuck me tonight and leave tomorrow? How would that not have hurt me?" She turned away from him. But then-- her heart skipped several beats and she looked back at him. Her vision was going dark.
"Did you just say you loved me?" she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
"Yes," the words tore out of his mouth, his familiar voice so desperate and hurt. "I've always loved you, always. Since I second year, when I saw you fly," he brought his hands to her shoulders and pulled her closer. "You're all I think about, you're beautiful and you're all that I want--" he brought his lips down on hers and the gentle touch and his words and his eyes; Angelina felt as though she wanted to die. She flinched away from him.
"I hate you, Fred Weasely," she spat. "I should have known you'd just end up breaking my heart."
"Angelina, no--" she heard him say, but it was too late. She was running to the castle as fast as her feet could carry her. The cold wind stung her cheeks and sobs ripped from her throat.
The next day, when Fred and George sped out of Hogwarts, dark robes whipping about their bodies and red hair the colour of the darkening sunset. She had been standing on the steps of Hogwarts, her crimson and gold scarf billowing about her, her heart thudded dully in her chest.
The places where his lips touched her were still burning, his words echoing around her, hollow and painful. Angelina wait I love you always loved you second year you're beautiful we're leaving tomorrow all I think about dropping out all I want leaving forever--
Nothing would seem beautiful to her anymore.