Love and Marriage

Chapter Seventy-Seven

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." She could see that he was curious about what she was scared of and knew that this was the right time to tell him about the baby. This was her golden opportunity. "There's something I haven't told you. Something's happened since I moved down here that I think you need to know about."

"Samantha, what haven't you told me?" He asked. From the tone of her voice he couldn't tell if this 'something' was a good something or a bad something. That made him anxious. He could only hope that it was something good.

She broke out of his grasp and started walking around the living room, trying to gather up enough courage to tell him about the baby. When she reached he window she stopped, glancing outside and looking at the stars.

He watched her carefully and could tell that she was nervous about telling him something. When she stopped by the window, he walked over to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her. "You know that you can tell me anything, right?"

"I know." She replied, leaning into his embrace.

"Is it bad news?" He asked, hoping that if it was bad news, he would be able to mentally prepare himself.

"It's nothing bad…at least I don't think it's bad…you might think it is, but it's just so unexpected and caught me off guard…"

"Sam, you're rambling." He pointed out nicely. "Why don't you just tell me what it is? You'll feel better." While it helped to know that she didn't consider whatever this news was as being bad, he still couldn't help feeling nervous about this whole situation.

She took one last deep breath before whispering, "I'm pregnant."

He couldn't believe it when he heard her say that she was pregnant. At first he was certain that he was hearing things. "Um, what did you just say?"

"I said I'm pregnant." She repeated, this time a little louder. She wasn't able to see his face and therefore didn't know how he was responding to the news. He wasn't talking, and that worried her slightly. She had expected a different response from him. She had expected that he would be more excited and enthusiastic about this. Was that too much to ask for? Did he want this child? Or was he just in shock?

His mind was racing as it processed those precious words. There was a time when he thought he'd never hear her say that to him again, but here they were. She was pregnant. She was actually pregnant. He couldn't contain the huge, goofy smile that appeared on his face.

Thinking about it, he realized that it must have happened that night that they got drunk. That was the only night in months that they had been together—and they hadn't used a condom. But that was only because he had assumed that she was still on birth control. Apparently he was wrong, and he couldn't be happier about being wrong.

Then reality hit him. She was pregnant. But did she want this child? She said numerous times that she had wanted more children but he was certain that if she really meant it, she meant in a few more years—not right now. She just started a new job. Was she really ready to take a few months off for maternity leave? And what about her fear of being pregnant? Was she emotionally ready to confront that?

How would this change things for them? Would this draw them closer together? He hoped so. Would she use this pregnancy as a way to push him away? Would she still make them continue with this break even though he should be here with his family? He wasn't looking forward to going back to New York as it was, but especially not now that he knew about this baby. It was going to destroy him if he had to leave again now.

The more he thought about this, the more questions he got. How long has she known about this? Did she know about it before she left? How long has she been keeping this from him? She said that this had happened since she got here, but did she suspect anything before she left?

The most important question he thought of though, was 'How am I supposed to ask her all of these questions without making it seem like I'm accusing her of something?' That was the tricky part. The last thing he wanted to do right now was start a fight with her about this, and realized that he needed to be very careful about what he said to her.

She had reached her breaking point. If he wasn't going to say anything about this pregnancy, then she was just going to leave the room. All she was hoping for was some kind of response, even if it was a 'wow' or a 'oh my God'. But the fact that he was being completely silent was unnerving.

Did he not want this child? Was he angry with her for getting pregnant right now? What was going through his mind right now? Resigned, she broke out of his arms and headed out of the room.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he watched her walk away. He didn't understand why she was leaving the room. They still had a lot to talk about.

She stopped about halfway across the room and turned around to face him. "I'm leaving because I can't be in the same room as you right now if you're just going to be completely silent about this. I don't know what you're thinking but maybe you just need some time alone to think about this." She told him before turning to start walking again.

He hurried over to her and lightly grabbed her arm, standing in front of her to prevent her from leaving. "I don't need time alone." He told her. "And I'm sorry that I wasn't saying anything. It's just…that was the last thing I expected you to say right now. I'm sort of in shock here."

"What are you thinking though?" She asked hesitantly, wanting to get his opinions, thoughts and feelings about this.

"I don't really know." He answered honestly. "My head's jumbled with about a million different thoughts right now. The only one thought that I have is wow. A baby."

"That was the first coherent thought I had too." She admitted with a small smile.

He let go of her arm and flashed her a smile. "So what was your second coherent thought?"

"Oh my God. How did this happen?" She admitted sheepishly.

He grinned at her. "I think we both know how this happened."

"Yeah. We do." She couldn't help but chuckle softly as she remembered that night. "But then that thought was immediately followed by, oh my God how I am going to do this? How am I going to get through the next few months?"

He pulled her into an embrace. "You don't have to do this by yourself, you know? You have me and you'll always have me. I'll do anything I can to help you with this." He pulled back slightly so that he could look into her eyes. "I know that you're scared by this, but you can come to me about it. I want to be able to help you."

"I just…this isn't the way I thought everything would turn out. I thought we'd take a short break, get some individual therapy, get back together and then tackle the pregnancy issue."

"Tackle?" He chuckled.

"Yes, tackle." She defended herself. "What's wrong with that word?"

"Nothing." He replied, placing a kiss on her forehead. "Tackle is a wonderful word. I just thought it was an interesting choice."

"Well can you stop laughing for a moment and have a serious conversation with me? Please?" She was almost annoyed by the fact that he chose this opportunity to laugh at her word choice.

"I'm sorry." He apologized. "I just…I'm happy, and when I get really happy, I start laughing at everything. You know that."

"You're happy about this?" She asked. It was a silly question and she knew that. Of course he was happy. She could see it in his eyes. But she still needed to hear it.

"I am happy about this baby." He placed his hand on her still flat stomach. "But the million-dollar question of the day is, are you happy about this baby?"