Here's the continuation to the reception part of the story. So glad that this fanfic is working out fine…
And t.A.M.a-Aki-KaeRi – san, you're really worried about YukiAtsushi and YukiShu eh? (smiles) I can't promise not to make their relationship go any further. I mean… they're already sleeping together. How much further can they go? But I can tell you for sure that they won't get married (haha!) and they will not live together in the same apartment. Is that ok? Cos well, this fic is supposed to be angsty, that's why I came up with YukiAtsushi. Hee…
Oh… I'll try to write and explain any other the technical/practical parts of this story… like how I came up with an explanation as to why Haruko and Jun doesn't know about YukiShu though it was big news in Japan… anything else that is missing and leaves you wondering, tell me! It's hard to figure these out though… argh…
Japanese notes: (1)daijoubu: Are you okay?
DISCLAIMER: Gravitation does not belong to me.
MOU ICHI DO
Chapter 8 --- This Pain in My Heart
The blond novelist drowned his glass of wine in one shot.
"Eiri-san, I need to use the bathroom. Wait for me, my dear… 'cos we'll shall go somewhere else and have fun… ok?" Miyabi winked flirtatiously before waltzing off.
Yuki didn't even bother listening to her as he roamed his eyes through the crowd, hoping to catch a glimpse of the star of this event… the now famous model, Shindou Shuichi. He had lost sight of the model after watching the photographer kiss Shuichi, AND then whispering something into Shuichi's ear that caused the boy to blush so red. (Yuki didn't see that Shuichi was trying hard not to cry as Shuichi was facing the other side – out the balcony – when he was hugging Akiha.)
So he acts so lovingly with his photographer as well… as guy. What the heck! And I thought that he came back wit only a girlfriend. It seems to me that he has a boyfriend too! What a fickle brat! And he used to dare to proclaim that he loved me so deeply… that his love for me will never change… What a bunch of lies. I'm glad that I didn't believe him back then. Not even a single bit. Damn. What am I getting so worked up for? I'm such an idiot…
He tightened his grip on his empty wine glass and headed towards the table to pick up another glass of liquor. As he turned around with a new, half-filled glass in his hand, he bumped into someone's back, almost spilling his liquor in the process.
Just when he was about to open his mouth to say sorry, he found a pair of startling violet eyes gazing up at him. The same pair of violet eyes that he had seen everywhere in the gallery just now. The same pair of violet eyes that had looked so sad and forlorn in 'Broken Doll'.
That pair of violet eyes widened a little in surprise as its owner registered who it was looking at presently.
"Yuki…? Are you okay?" Shuichi asked tentatively.
Yuki kept silent and concentrated on devouring his liquor. But when he noted that Shuichi's eyes were still on him, he shot a quick glance at Shuichi.
"Of course I'm fine." Yuki replied curtly.
Shuichi looked away and nodded slightly.
"Er… thanks for turning up for this exhibition…"
Yuki could hardly hear Shuichi's soft murmur, but he found himself unable to tear his eyes away from the boy once again. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, say anything, or to even ask about 'Broken Doll'… but Shuichi's next words made him clamp his mouth shut immediately.
"I'm so sorry about Haruko's rash actions earlier… dragging you around and all. And er… ignore Akiha's words… He's always so full of nonsense, even though he can be really serious and reliable at times. But really, thanks for coming…"
"Are you stupid or what? There's no need to thank me. I only came because that asshole Tatsuha dragged me here forcefully. Did you actually think that I'm that free? The only reason why I haven't left is because I'm waiting for my partner for tonight." Yuki's careless, poisoned words sliced deeply into Shuichi's heart.
Shuichi's face fell. He kept quiet for a second, only to reply with a soft "Oh…" later. He bit the inside of his lower lip to stop himself from losing his composure. "I'm sorry…"
At this moment, Miyabi appeared back beside Yuki, hooked her arm around his, kissed the corner of his lips, and then whispered something into his ear.
Yuki looked sideways at Miyabi before smirking. "Whatever."
Shuichi bit harder onto the onside of his lower lip.
It was only then did Miyabi notice the presence of Shuichi.
"Shindou-san?" She replaced her surprise with her trademark 'I'm only smiling on the outside and not the inside' smile. "Congratulations on the successful launch! I love the photographs. You looked really great in all of them!"
Shuichi returned a weak, forced smile. "Thanks. I-"
"Ah! Shindou-san, there you are! Come on! Come with me up to the stage!" A stranger appeared next to Shuichi, grabbed his hand and started pulling him away.
"Eh? What? Huh?" Shuichi blinked numerous times, trying to comprehend what was happening.
The man pulled Shuichi up the small stage that was set up at one side of the reception hall. He grabbed a mic with his other hand and started speaking.
"Hey, everyone! Give us your attention here! I'm Watanabe Hikaru, host of the variety show, 'Let's Go!'. Firstly, let us congratulate Shindou-san, who's right here beside me, for his success as a model!"
A large round of applause was heard, coupled with cheers from Ryuichi, Hiro, and K. Shuichi was still stunned and confused.
"My, my! Didn't everyone get a shock learning that the once famous lead singer of Bad Luck returned as a promising model? Haha! Well, seeing that this is a special occasion and that everyone is present, let's have Shindou-san resume his identity as a singer for a while and present us with a song! The debut song of Bad Luck, 'The Rage Beat'! Shindou-san…!"
Watanabe Hikaru handed the mic over to Shuichi, who was completely frozen in shock by now, before leaving the stage.
Everyone applauded and some even screamed.
"Shuichi is going to sing again! YEAH!" Ryuichi screamed and bounced rapidly in excitement. Tatsuha joined in a moment later.
"Go, Shuichi!" K shouted and punched a fist into the air.
Sakano, Suguru, Ayaka… and almost everyone else in the hall waited in anticipation as the music started.
"…Shuichi?" Hiro whispered to no one in particular.
Tohma frowned.
The music continued playing. The problem was… the cue to start singing had long passed, but Shuichi did not make any move to sing at all. He was rooted to the same spot, looking extremely terrified and pale, gripping the mic tightly with both hands.
Song? Sing? I… What? Shuichi's mind had been in a whirl when he heard what Watanabe Hikaru had announced.
But when Shuichi realized that he was holding a mic and 'The Rage Beat' was being played, his mind went completely blank. He stared in fear at the object in his hands and gripped it more tightly by the minute, till his knuckles turned white. He felt everyone's eyes on him and broke out in cold sweat. He opened his mouth but no sound came out.
Even though the music continued playing, it hardly registered in his mind. In fact, all he could hear was… nothing. Silence. Deafening silence.
At this rate, he might go crazy or faint soon. Just as he was about to cup his hands over his ears and scream, the music stopped and someone snatched the mic away.
"I'm so sorry, everyone. Shuichi is now my important model. I'm not prepared to let him return to his old profession. Besides, after such a long period of time, you can't expect him to sing unprepared. Please forgive us…"
Akiha…
A soft murmur could be heard amongst the crowd as they nodded in understanding.
Akiha turned to Shuichi. "Come on, let's get down from here…" He took Shuichi's hand gently and led him offstage.
"Shu-kun! Daijoubu(1)?" Haruko asked anxiously.
Slowly, Shuichi began to calm down. But he saw something that made breathing strangely painful again. Out of the corner of his eye, he witnessed a blond guy leaving the hall with his arm wrapped around a woman's waist.
Shuichi grabbed Akiha's arm pleadingly. "I wanna go back and rest…"
Akiha looked down at his model worriedly.
"I'll take him. Akiha, you need to continue to attend to the guests. Haruko and Jun, help Akiha." Tsuyoshi then patted Shuichi on the head. "Let's go."
"Shu-kun, take care. I'll go see you later, or if you're sleeping, in the morning…" Haruko squeezed Shuichi's hand gently, hoping to comfort him.
Shuichi nodded mutely and followed Tsuyoshi, heading for the exit.
"Something really bad must have happened in the past to make Shuichi this afraid of singing eh?" Haruko muttered softly, still extremely concerned and worried. "I wonder what is it…"
"Shuichi! Daijoubu?" Hiro had somehow made his way to Shuichi.
Shuichi stared at Hiro for a few seconds before smiling, happy at his friend's concern for him. "I'm fine. I'm just going back to rest now. Help me thank everyone who came… see you another day!"
When he saw that Hiro was still extremely worried, he sighed. "Hiro… I'm not going to feel any better if you're upset because of me. Don't worry! I'll give you a call soon, okay?"
Hiro had no choice but to nod.
"See you!" Shuichi smiled again and left with Tsuyoshi.
xxxxxXxxXxxXxxXxxXxxxxx
Back at the hotel, Shuichi flopped down onto the bed, arms covering his eyes.
His mind flashed back to what had happened just now… the stage, the mic, the music, the eyes on him… and the time he opened his mouth but no sound came out.
He moved one hand down, away from his eyes, and held his throat.
Yuki…
"Are you stupid or what? There's no need to thank me. I only came because that asshole Tatsuha dragged me here forcefully. Did you actually think that I'm that free? The only reason why I haven't left is because I'm waiting for my partner for tonight."
Yuki's words stabbed into his mind again.
Why…
Why are you always this cruel?
He crawled off the bad to the safebox provided by the hotel for tourists to store their passports and valuables. Kneeling in front of the safe, he unlocked it and carefully removed a rectangular box from it.
He removed the lid of the box and took out a few pieces of paper. On them were song lyrics that he had written in the past. All those lyrics that Yuki had criticized badly before.
Next, he lifted up his old mobile phone, turned it to the back, where more than ten neoprints of him and Yuki were stuck. He ran his fingers over them and smiled softly.
His eyes rested on the last item in the box.
It was a white envelope, addressed to Yuki with his address on it, complete with an American stamp and the word "Airmail".
Ah… this was what I accidentally kept with me. And I had wanted to return it through overseas mail when I was in America…
He opened the envelope and overturned it, causing the contents to slip onto his opened palm.
It was cold and hard and had lost part of its lustre.
Shuichi stared at it for some time.
"What did I come back for? I'm only getting myself hurt again…" He whispered, clasped the content of the envelope in his fist and brought it over his heart, his other hand on the tightened fist. "This pain in my heart just won't go away…"
And then he finally broke down completely, allowing himself to cry freely…
Still holding on tightly to the key to Yuki's apartment…
The key that he had once rightfully owned.
xXx TBC xXx
So how's this chapter? I felt so bad/guilty making Yuki say those harsh words to Shuichi. Ahhh! Sob… I'm so sorry, Shu-chan! Don't worry, we all know that Yuki loves you a lot thought he doesn't show it… hee…
Ok! Hopefully I can get the next chapter up before New Year. Wonder if I can do it… hmm… I know the outline for the next few chapters, but may have problem continuing after that. Oh well, one step at a time! Cya!