Awayuki
(by April Eagle)
This story is for Adriann and Bianca.
Thank you for your friendship.
Preface:
This story belongs to the fandom Sailor Moon. It can be put somewhere into season three, but it differs from the anime / manga. Setsuna, a.k.a. Sailor Pluto, will not appear in this story and Hotaru is an ill girl, but not a Sailor Senshi (at least not yet). The fight against Mistress 9 is changed, as well. As all my other Sailor Moon Fanfictions it is loosely connected with the anime / manga, but mainly forms a new universe of itself with another background.
It is a Christmas story. The song I've chosen is divided into 24 lines, each line stands for one day and each part shows a moment in Michiru's life. It is my intention that no moment lasts longer than two pages.
I never thought I would ever write a Haruka & Michiru Fanfiction again. I wrote the other ones during a period in my life that is completely different and so distant from the present time. During the past months I thought I would not be able to get back into the mood of the Sailor Moon universe and into my most favourite characters, Haruka, Michiru and Hotaru. But again, Bianca proved me wrong. All it takes for me to slip back into that world is an inspiring song, some sleepless nights and someone telling me that she'll read the story, no matter what. Thank you.
Okay, now, go on reading. Have fun while doing so… and a Merry Christmas!
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Yeah, I know it hurts,
Yeah, I know you're scared walking down the road that lead to who knows where.
Don't you hang your head, don't you give up yet
When courage starts to disappear I will be right here
When your world breaks down and the voices tell you turn around.
When your dreams give out I will carry you, carry you.
When the stars go blind and the darkness starts to flood your eyes.
When you're falling behind, I will carry you.
Everybody cries, everybody bleeds,
No one ever said that life's an easy thing, that's the beauty of it.
When you lose your way, close your eyes and go to sleep and wake up to another day
You should know now that you're not alone.
Take my heart and we will find, you will find your way home.
Clay Aiken, "I will carry you"
(1) I know it hurts
"Earth Shaking!"
No one saw the orange light illuminating the park for the split of a second. No one felt the wave rushing through the leafless trees. No one heard the stifled moan that came after.
"Ruka? Everything alright?" A shadow flitted over the clearing and knelt down next to a young woman. Sailor Neptune always forgot their senshi names when she saw her partner getting hurt. Her partner in crime, as Sailor Uranus often called them with a sad smile on her lips. In a crime that told them to fight against monsters, so called youmas. Monsters that were born in darkness, created by their enemies. They were made out of dirt and did return to its ashes whenever they were killed. However, the two lone warriors had to learn that there were youmas who used to be a human being. Before their involuntary transformation. If they killed those youmas, they killed the humans, as well. Till now Sailor Moon prevented such a tragedy, but the princess of the light was not always there whenever a youma did attack. Like this time.
"Did it hit you?" Sailor Neptune took Uranus' right hand and cursed silently as the other woman winced and turned around to look closer at the youma's remains. The senshi of the wind was obviously hurt, but as always she did not want to show it and Neptune hated the park's darkness. There were hardly any street lamps burning, the sky was covered with thick clouds and there was no hope of any light in the middle of the night. Expect she would use her own mighty spell. Then, however, Uranus would have scolded her for wasting her powers on nothing. Neptune did not want to argue with her best friend, they had had already too many fights during the past weeks. Since they got to know each other and their mission. Since they moved together in a small apartment in a boarding school in Tokyo. Since they beat their first youma three months ago.
Life turned out to be hell.
And Uranus turned out to be uncompromising regarding their mission.
"No human." The senshi of the wind inspected the ashes before her and Neptune heard her silent sigh. It was a sigh of relief, although she knew that there would be no sign of relief on Uranus' face. No sign of any emotion at all. "Only dirt."
"So no sign of Mistress 9?" Neptune's fingers twitched as Uranus rose and reeled slightly. She wanted to hold her best friend, to take care of her injuries. But she knew that she was not allowed to. Not now. Not right after a fight. Not when the wind senshi begged her wordlessly to leave her in peace.
They had believed their mission to be to find the purest crystals on earth. However, four weeks ago a strange woman appeared in their dreams and told them to search for Mistress 9 and destroy her, because Mistress 9 would destroy the earth if they were not fast enough. Uranus and Neptune believed that woman, because they had the same dream, both of them; and it had been the same woman who gave them their henshins in summer, telling them about their past and their destiny as Sailor senshi. So they gave up their first mission, hoping that they would find the pure crystals while they were looking for that Mistress. Knowing pretty well that this criminal was no youma but a living human. To rescue millions of people they had to sacrifice one life. Neptune hated this thought, but she knew they had no other choice…
"Let's go." Uranus did not say where to. Neptune had never heard her call their apartment home . Right now it was their only place of refuge, but the sea beauty knew that it was only a fake, a bad substitute for a real home where they could return to happily. Where they could live carefree. Free from all sorrows, all burdens, all aches.
"Does it hurt?" She put her arms around her freezing body. She had liked her Sailor fuku during summer when warm wind was playing with the short skirt, giving her a little bit of longed for fresh air. However, right now it was winter. Cold winter. But their powers did not work without their fukus. Strange as it was, they could not change this stupid fact. So they had to fight in short skirts and catch a cold. Neptune had already missed three of her violin lessons in row because of a youma attack or because she decided to stay in bed. She would have dropped her instrument anyway while sneezing non-stop.
"I'm fine." Uranus' voice was muffled and she did not turn around to her partner. She simply walked away, slightly swaying, assuming her to follow.
"Sure…" Neptune sighed deeply and looked up to the dark sky above. Tears sparkled in her eyes and she shook her head slightly. Uranus was not fine, none of them was. During the past three months Neptune thought that this was their destiny. That this was her task: to destroy Mistress 9 at all costs. Without any help. Alone. Because then they could hurt no one else except them. To show sorrow, to show regrets, to show doubts was a sign of weakness, of losing the final battle.
Now, Neptune was not so sure any longer. Were they really doomed to fight in loneliness, to push away all help, even Sailor Moon's? Even each other? To kill a human being to save the entire world?
I can't do that.
The sea senshi blinked and two tears rolled over her cheeks. She blinked again and a sad smile appeared on her face as she slowly reached out into the empty air before her. But there was no Uranus to hold back, to hold tight, to never let go again.
I can't do that, because it hurts.
A snowflake landed on her outstretched hand, melted on her fingertips, wetted her white glove. Others followed and soon she was surrounded by thousands of dancing diamonds, floating soundless in the dark eternity. They whirled around her body as if they urged her to fly with them. To play their weightless game. To forget that this world existed. Her worries and her fear.
Somewhere in the night a car engine was started. Neptune's hand dropped, her almost blissful smile turned into a sorrowful expression. Shortly she glanced back at the silent snowfall, then she followed ran away as quickly as she could.
And you hurt the same way I do.