We interrupt your Christmas fanfiction reading for breaking news from the Naruto News Show.
The Naruto News Show Special
By PikaFlash And the News Team
Christmas Edition: UchihaGate
Disclaimers: Almost all of the (fake) News Reports and ideas are mine. The Characters and scenes are not.
Breaking News: Car Chase Hijynx
Naruto Uzumaki was at the news desk.
"If you have just joined us, our Weatherman, Rock Lee in the Weathercopter has reported a car chase," reported Naruto
Live From the Weathercopter
3 Police Cars were chasing a 4 wheel drive while being recordedby the Weathercopter's camera.
Lee's V/O: That's right, I'm right over the car chase watching three or four police cars chasing a 4 wheel drive. It is said that we are not sure on why the police are chasing the driver, but it could it be possible that either food, Orochimaru or an idiot was involved.
"Sorry to interrupt you there Lee," said Naruto. "But Neji Hyuuga is on site at the moment giving an onsite report."
Neji was in front of a garden.
"I'm right now near the road where the chase has taken place and I have received official information that the driver is known as Sasuke Uchiha, a ninja," reported Neji. "It turns out that the police are chasing him because he left his lunch at home. We're going to feed you through to a press conference with Police Spokesperson, Itachi Uchiha.
Press Conference
At a press conference, a stand with microphones was left empty with the press taking photos.
We return to Naruto back at the news desk.
"And it appears that Itachi has not appeared yet," said Naruto. "At the moment, Ino Yamanaka is at the Uchiha Household."
Ino was in the Uchiha Household's kitchen giving her report.
"Yes, I'm right in the Uchiha household where this whole saga began. And I can see that it is where Sasuke's wife made the lunch, indicating that..."
"Sorry to interrupt you there, Ino," said Naruto. "But, after the break I have live in studio a Lunch Expert from Konoha. And an expert on experts. But first, Neji has some breaking news."
Neji was at a garden.
"That's right, Naruto," said Neji. "But it appears that Lee has sent out Chouji Akimichi, daredevil reporter, on passing Lee's Cell Phone to Sasuke .aka 'The Duke' as he is going to catch up with Sasuke on the NaruCycle."
The 4WD was driving on the road as down ahead, Chouji was riding a bicycle.
Chouji's V/O: "That's right I'm right about to reach Sasuke to pass Lee's Cell Phone and...oh shit!"
The bicycle that Chouji was riding on collides with the front of Sasuke's 4WD.
Chouji Crushed?
Naruto had a sort of-concern look on his face. "Chouji? Chouji? Are you still there? Did you pass the Cell Phone to Sasuke for us to talk to him?" No reply, so Naruto continued. "Never mind. Anyway, after the break, more on the Uchiha Car chase."
Ad Break
McAnimes!
"McAnimes has its own charity house."
A very disabled Anime kid was on a hospital bed with some burgers, fries and a drink.
"And these kids even have famous Anime Characters to endorse them, but...they told us they were busy. But that doesn't stop us from helping these kids."
A McAnimes worker pours more burgers and fries onto the hospital table.
"Come on, kid, you can do it."
"Mc...animes...the...only place...to eat...in the cough Anime world," said the patient in a dying voice before he closed his eyes.
End Ad Break
Breaking News: Merry-Go-Round
The Weathercopter was still watching the police chase the 4WD. Then the 4WD made a U-turn and the police cars were having trouble to make their own U turns and ended up driving in circles and the 4WD left the circle.
"It's apparently obvious that our 'Duke', Sasuke is making the police go around in circles," commented Naruto. "Well, right at this moment, in one of the police cars, the wife of Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura, who is there, trying to convince Sasuke to take his lunch. Sakura, are you there?"
Voice of Sakura: I am and I'm trying to convince Sasuke-kun to take his lunch!
"Sorry to interrupt you there," said Naruto. "But we got Jiraya on the screen at the moment."
Jiraya - Creator of the Icha Icha series
"I can't say much, other than why am I here?" asked Jiraya.
Naruto interrupts Jiraya for breaking news. "Sorry for the interruption but we are back with Chouji, who has survived the first crash and is going to chase Sasuke in pursuit on the Narutobike."
From the WeatherCopter's POV, Chouji was on a motorbike who appears to have lost Sasuke.
Chouji's V/O: "I'm at the moment going up a ramp to check for Sasuke's 4WD I lost and...oh shit!"
Chouji's motorbike crashed into a bus that appeared out of nowhere.
Chouji Crash
"Chouji? Chouji?" Naruto called out, but no reply. So, Naruto continued the report. "Looks like we have lost transmission with him again. Back to the chase..."
The 4WD was being chased through a car park by some police cars.
"Apparently, Sasuke is trying to lose the police in a suburban car park. At this moment, Ino Yamanaka is going to interview the neighbor of Sasuke."
Ino Yamanaka was next to Hinata Hyuuga.
"Yes, Naruto, I'm with Sasuke's Neighbor, Hinata Hyuuga. What can you say about Sasuke?"
"I can't say much," said Hinata. "Other than he's quiet and he's concerned for reveng..."
Naruto in the studio interrupted Hinata. "Sorry to interrupt you there, Ino, but we have breaking news that 'Duke' Sasuke's 4WD has crossed a bridge."
From the Weathercopter's POV, the 4WD drove over a bridge as the police cars tried to catch up.
"That's right, 'Duke' Sasuke's 4WD has just crossed a bridge!" called out Lee.
Back to Naruto at the news desk. "Well, sorry to interrupt you, Lee, but Neji is with a Ninja who had a close encounter with 'Duke' Sasuke, who's been on site for nearly 12 minutes."
Neji was standing next to Shikamaru.
"That's right," reported Neji. "I'm with Shikamaru Nara, who nearly got run over by 'Duke' Sasuke's car. How are you?"
"I'm just shocked by what has happened," said Shikamaru, in a dull voice.
Naruto interrupts the interview from the studio. "Sorry to interrupt you there, Neji, but we're going to cross live to the press conference for more official details from Spokesperson Itachi Uchiha."
Press conference
The empty stand with microphones is still there with the press taking some pictures.
Back to Naruto at the studio.
"And it seems that Spokesperson Itachi Uchiha has not arrived yet," said Naruto. "Anyway, I have the timeline on what happened before the chase."
TimeLine:
1: Sakura makes packed lunch and leaves kitchen.
2: Sasuke walks past the lunch and forgets about it while Sakura was cleaning in another room.
3: Sasuke walks out of kitchen.
4: Sasuke leaves house.
5: Sasuke walks to the 4WD and drives off.
6: Sakura finds out and started chasing Sasuke carrying his lunch.
"And that's what we know about Sasuke, Sakura and the lunch," said Naruto. "But some breaking news now..."
Breaking News: 4WD lost.
The Weathercopter was flying over the city bridge.
"Apparently, it is obvious that we have lost track of where the 4 wheel drive is. So, let's go straight into the World and Sports Report..."
World and Sports Report
"Anyway, before we go to the news, let's see the reaction from other Hidden Villages from our correspondent in Suna, Shino Aburame."
A very tiny and very angry Shino was on the news desk.
"When I get myself large again, I am going to..." Before Shino could finish his threat, a large fly swatter crushed Shino.
Headline: Pokémon Thief
Naruto tosses away the fly swatter.
"And it seems that we have some technical difficulties with Shino. Anyway, on the news. There are still no clues on the hunt of the thief of a baby Pichu, although Orochimaru is likely to be involved."
Headline: Totaled Totodile
"And at the Tojoh Falls, a Totodile broke down and had to call for some assistance near the falls. Officer Jennys sent the Totodile to the nearest Pokemon Center where Nurse Joys investigate any links to Orochimaru."
Headline: SharpShooter links
"And ANBU have linked Galbadia's Irvine Kinneas to Orochimaru, as both men have been at some point eating at the same restaurant, leading ANBU to arrest two Wizards who were flying on broomsticks."
Headline: End of the Joey
"Yu-Gi-Oh Fans are facing a crisis when their banners were starting to run out of puns for Joey Wheeler, from 'Joey Wheels in the Victory', to 'Wheeler of the moment', to 'He will Wheel Us nicely' and finally "Go Joey". Fans have blamed Orochimaru for the situation."
Breaking News: Daring Switcharoo.
"Back on the chase of Sasuke Uchiha, somehow 'Duke' Sasuke has actually changed his transportation in a daring attempt to avoid the police."
The Weathercopter's POV was chasing a red desert buggy (from FF7) driving on the highway.
Lee's V/O: That's right, and now there are plans on giving Sasuke my cell phone by hanging Chouji down the Weathercopter and passing Sasuke the phone.
The Weathercopter catches up with the desert buggy and Chouji was tied to the Weathercopter carrying a cell phone.
In the news room, Naruto prepares to conduct an interview.
"Are you in there, Chouji?"
Sasuke (on phone): What the f-!k! What are you doing in my car?
"Chouji, pass the Cell Phone to Sasuke," said Naruto. Then he proceeds with the interview. "Mr. Uchiha, I'm Naruto Uzumaki from the Naruto News Show."
Sasuke: Why are the cops and that chopper following me for?
"Your wife is chasing after you because you forgot your lunch."
Sasuke (on Phone): That annoying pink-haired woman! Why did she have to go all this way to pass me my lunch!
The desert buggy suddenly veered off the highway away from a bridge towards a cliff.
Sasuke: Now you see what you made me do! F-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!-k!
The desert buggy drives off the cliff.
Naruto had a shock look on his face. "Oh no!"
Breaking News: Uchiha-Highway Aftermath
"What a horrible aftermath for the UchihaGate chase," reported Naruto. "What all started from a ninja forgetting to take his lunch, ended up in tragedy on Christmas. Chouji also suffered the same fate as Sasuke after separating himself from the Weathercopter when forcefully entering Sasuke's getaway buggy to give Sasuke Lee's Cell Phone. For specific details on the chase, read my latest 'Icha Icha' published book, 'UchihaGate', the day where Lunch lost its innocence and changed the world. In my humble opinio..."
And that concludes our live coverage of the Naruto News Show. We will restore you back to your normal Fanfiction reading.