I'm sorry for taking such a long time. See how the chapter is divided into parts (or scenes) with "xXx xXx"? Well, I did one part at a time. My muse just wasn't working well. Plus, I was stuck for so long at the last scene… wasn't sure of how to continue. sob.
I'm also worried about the lemon in the previous chapter. Grimy Grunhilda Grunt did mention about people getting banned. It scared me. Eeks! Maybe I'll cut it out and put a link in for it tomorrow. Hmm… should I? Should I?
Well, on to the chapter for now. This chapter focuses largely on Shuichi's POV. Happy reading! (I hope!)
DISCLAIMER: Gravitation does not belong to me.
MOU ICHI DO
Chapter 19 – Unforgettable Memories
The playground was empty except for Shuichi who was sitting on the swing, swaying lightly to and fro. He hung his head low, staring at his feet as he thought about the events that had happened ever since he returned to Japan.
What in the world was I thinking? I guess I really messed up big time…
He slapped his forehead, and a small pained smile flitted across his face.
Ah… Somehow my heart feels so heavy… as if there's a huge weight on it. It's so suffocating… I feel so tired…I wonder why?
As much as he wanted to deny it, the answer to that stood clearly in his heart. He placed his feet on the ground to stop the swaying of the swing.
I wonder how many times I've been through this… thinking back on the past, trying to figure out what went wrong with us.
When he was in America, there were nights where he would either cry himself to sleep or just stare blankly at the ceiling for hours. There were days where he couldn't get himself to budge from the bed, feeling like all he wanted to do was to disappear from the world.
He had tried blaming society for their breakup, blaming the media, blaming the whole world, and even God. Then there were times where he would hate Yuki for not loving him, for not trying hard enough, for pushing him away… well basically, for everything. However, somewhere deep in his heart, a part of him knew that the one who was at fault was him.
I can't decide which is better: the pain, sadness, and confusion that were previously torturing me, or this bittersweet empty void that is now rooted within me.
The pool of emotions battling inside me in the past was sucking the very life and energy out of me every minute of my life. It's funny how I wished to forget you on one hand, but on the other hand, I wanted to remember you. How I wished for myself to stop thinking of you, but wanting to think of you at the same time. How I desire to stop loving you, yet beg for a chance to continue loving you…. I've been struggling to accept this separation, I've been struggling with life without you… it hurts… so much that words can't convey this pain in my heart.
But all that's left now is this emptiness. Strange isn't it?
When I finally understood what I want, or rather, what I should do from this point onwards, my heart is overtaken by this emptiness.
I understand it now… I'm no longer confused. I know the reason for this heavy emptiness in me.
I know it very well.
Shuichi stood up and started on his way back to the hotel. It was late. Haruko and the rest of them would be worried for him. Moreover, he had switched his phone off in order to have some time alone.
I love you but I'm incapable of reaching you. I tried to keep you by my side, but you were never really there beside me. That was what hurt the most. That was why I chose to let you go.
Even though I love you so much… even though I wish to tell you how much I love you, I remember how you doubted and disliked it when I told you I love you. How you ignored me, thinking that it was foolish to be saying such stuff.
Yuki…
The words I have to give, you don't want to hear. The love I have to give is too much for you to accept. You are the only one whom I wanted to give everything to, but I guess 'everything' was too much for you to bear.
I'm sorry.
It's entirely my fault… I understand that.
An image of Atsushi and Yuki (during the time of the typhoon) flashed past his mind. The way they chatted with each other, the casual touches, their mannerism… everything…
I couldn't be like him. Even now, I'm sure that I can never be like him. He knows what you need and how much of that you need. Whereas I gave you a hundred percent when you didn't want a hundred percent… And worse still, I shamelessly desired a hundred percent back from you.
He smiled bitterly.
It was all off balance. You felt smothered by my love. That was why it collapsed. We collapsed. The burden was too heavy for the both of us.
And now, I've found someone whom I do not give a hundred percent to, and I do not even expect much back from her. You have also found someone who is just right for you, haven't you?
That is why I can never return to your side. I'm afraid of going back to those times.
But even so, I'm unable to stop loving you… I know that now. Even if I were given centuries to forget you, I could never do that. No matter what happens, my love for you will remain. So, although you don't want to be bound by my love, please let me continue loving you silently from afar. Allow me to continue thinking of you day and night, and loving you for every minute of my life. That is all I ask from you.
Shuichi entered the hotel and headed towards the café, where he knew Haruko and the rest of them would be.
Ah… There she is… Beautiful and cheery as usual…She has no idea what had just happened. I feel so guilty. Not because I slept with you behind her back. But because I just realized that I had never looked at her the way I looked at you. I had never felt for her the way I felt for you.
"Shuichi!" Haruko waved and called out from the table where she was having dinner with Akiha, Tsuyoshi and Jun.
Surprisingly, Hiro was there as well. He waved and winked, grinning.
"Hiro?" Shuichi approached the table in puzzlement. "What are you doing here?"
"Well, I intended to invite you to hang out together tonight, but I heard that you went to visit Yuki-san. So, how did it go?" Hiro asked in a casual tone, but Shuichi could tell that his gaze was imploring and concerned.
"He said that he's fine."
"So… you were with him all afternoon?" Akiha asked, surprised.
"Yup. But he blamed me for his injury and got me to settle his household chores while he locked himself in the study room to work."
Nobody needs to know what just happened. I don't care if anyone is suspicious.
Shuichi smiled and carefully took a seat beside Haruko (as his ass still hurt), who moved to hook her hand around his arm.
"Have you eaten dinner? Are you hungry?" Haruko asked drew closer to him.
For one moment, I was afraid that she would find out. Suddenly, I wanted her to stop touching me. I detest her touch. I hate it. I hate it.
"I ate a little just now. I'm not hungry… just tired out from doing all those chores. I think I'm going to take a bath now and sleep early. Do you mind?"
"Of course not!" She looked worried for a moment. "Anyway, we're invited to Seguchi-san's poolside party tomorrow evening. So it's better if you get enough rest tonight…"
"Really? Ok then…" Shuichi got up to leave, smiling apologetically at Hiro. "I'm sorry, Hiro. I'll see you at the party tomorrow ok?"
"Sure. Go get some rest."
Shuichi knew that he would have a lot to explain to Hiro tomorrow, but right now, he didn't care.
xXx xXx
Standing in front of the large mirror in the bathroom in the hotel room, Shuichi stared at his reflection. He looked normal. There were no obvious traces of that love-making session left on him. He had made sure that he looked fine… that his hair was straight, that his lips were not visibly swollen and such.
He lifted one hand up to touch his cheek, and then trailed his fingers along his lips.
In actual fact, his whole body was screaming with evidence that he had just been taken by someone. There were traces of Yuki everywhere on him.
But that's something he did not hate. That was why he wanted Haruko to stop touching him then. He didn't want the scent of Yuki ruined.
He considered not taking a shower. He didn't want to wash away Yuki's touches and kisses. He didn't want to lose the feeling of Yuki in him.
He unbuttoned his shirt swiftly, letting it fall to the floor.
He smiled.
Guess it's ok if I take a bath… since this will remain.
He touched the bruise on his left shoulder lightly.
Yuki's mark on me…
Removing the rest of his clothes, he stepped into the shower, noting that there were a few bruises on the inside of his thighs and elsewhere too. Luckily, they could be hidden by wearing the right clothes. And besides, he had prevented Yuki from leaving any marks around the neck.
I'm no longer afraid of loving you. I'll continue loving you until the end of time. No matterwhat you think, my love for you will always remain true. But this time, I'll keep this love to myself.
After drying himself off and putting on plain clothes, Shuichi walked out to the bed and fell down upon it lazily, welcoming the sleep that had been threatening to take over him, and at the same time welcoming the dreams with Yuki in them.
xXx xXx
Yuki Eiri took one last look at the mirror before heading out. He knew that he always looked good, but it wouldn't hurt to check. Besides, he didn't want reporters and journalists making out some crap like how depressed he was ever again. God, that was so irritating back then.
He slipped his car keys into his pocket and left the house for the nearby store. Yes, he knew that there was a poolside party held at Tohma's majestic bungalow today, but there was no way that he was going. Even if it meant that he might have to suffer Tohma's annoying check-ups and Mika's grating lectures later. He understood that Shuichi would be there, and he was not prepared to see Shuichi yet.
He was on his way to his car when a commotion taking place nearby caught his attention.
"Let go of me, you bastard!"
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that. You were trespassing, Miss. I've got to hand you over to the police if you can't explain your actions."
"Get you hands off me or I'm going to accuse you of molesting me!"
Although it was none of his business, something about the female's voice attracted Yuki. It was kind of familiar. He strode towards the source of the commotion and there she was… Tanaka Miyabi… struggling with the security guard.
A bizarre anger flared up inside him.
"Yu-Yuki-san…" The security guard stuttered when he noticed Yuki.
At the sound of Yuki's name, Miyabi seemed to stop struggling. All of a sudden, she lunged for Yuki, screaming with rage.
"It's all your fault!" She tried to reach for Yuki's neck in an attempt to strangle him, but Yuki pushed her away easily. He was too strong for her.
"Crazy bitch." Yuki snapped in an icy tone, bent down and grabbed her arm in a death grip. "Why did you send them after Shuichi?"
When Miyabi refused to answer or even look at him, he tightened his grip on her arm, and a pained look crept onto her face.
"I'm asking one last time. Why?"
This time, she glared daggers at him.
"Why?" She mimicked, her voice getting hysterical. "That's because he ruined my plan to destroy you. He made a deal with Sawada, agreeing to sing in exchange for all those secrets I dug out about you, and ruined everything!"
Yuki was taken aback by her answer. His grip on her loosened. "What?"
Miyabi laughed bitterly. "Damn it. What's so great about him singing anyway? What's so great about that? I thought I might still have a chance… that Sawada would go back on the deal, but that stupid brat actually got help from Seguchi Tohma."
Yuki stepped back in shock. "He was singing for me?"
"Since he ruined everything, of course he'll have to pay. Besides, since I can't wreck your career, I figured out a better way of getting back at you. It isn't hard to see that the boy's important to you."
Miyabi smirked as Yuki stiffened. "How would you feel if you were to lose him forever?"
SLAP!
Miyabi covered her burning cheek as the security tried to calm both parties down.
"Don't you dare touch him, or I'll make sure that you wished that you were dead." A murderous glint flashed past his narrowed eyes as he warned coldly. He turned to leave and stopped when he heard the next line.
"You would have to be alive to do that."
Yuki swiveled around and found Miyabi charging at him with a knife in her hands.
He prepared himself, but someone intercepted the mad woman for him. The guy had grabbed Miyabi's arm swiftly and twisted it, forcing her to drop her knife.
"Eiri-san, are you ok?" Atsushi asked in concern.
Taking advantage of Atsushi's distraction, Miyabi bit his hand, managed to free herself out of his grasp, and started taking off in panic.
"Hey! Wait!" The security guard called out after her. He turned back to Yuki. "Yuki-san, should I call the police?"
"Go ahead." Yuki simply replied. He turned and strode towards his car.
"Eiri-san? Where are you going? The woman may still be out there planning something dangerous." Atsushi trailed after Yuki.
Yuki stopped in his tracks as he realized that his car was damaged – the wind screen, and all the windows, were smashed. Shit. There's no way I can drive that out now. Damn!
"Did that woman do this as well?"
That's right! Yuki turned to regard Atsushi. "Did you drive here?"
Atsushi nodded.
"Good. I need your car."
Atsushi frowned. "But Eiri-san…"
"Shut up. I really need to get there. Where did you park it?"
"Right outside. If you're really going out, let me drive you there. Or else, I'm not handing it over to you."
"Fine, fine!" Yuki barked and headed for the car hurriedly. "I'm heading over to Seguchi's house."
xXx xXx
Shuichi sat at the table, staring absentmindedly at his surroundings. Tohma's new bungalow was big. The pool was well, average. But everything seemed so grand. He wondered briefly why the Seguchis needed such a big house.
He stared at Suguru and Noriko bickering, then at Sakano spinning over to try and calm them down.
He decided that people-watching could turn into an interesting hobby for him. At times, he would just sit and stare, and some other times he would start trashing his subject on his/her fashion sense (it's an occupational disease), and yet at some other times he would make up his own version of their life story.
Thinking. It was something he did quite often now.
What brought him back to reality was the touch of cold metal against his forehead. This was something vaguely familiar. He missed this feeling. Thus, he allowed the metal to be glued to his temple a little longer.
But he knew that he could easily lose his life if he pushed pass the limit. He didn't want to die. Not yet. Even though his life's so screwed up right now.
"K. Get that thing off my head. Are you nuts?" Shuichi snapped and moved away from the magnum.
"You're smoking." The blonde manager replied as if it was a crime.
"So?"
"It's bad for your lungs."
Shuichi stared at the stick in his hands and frowned. Lungs? I can still breathe fine, thank you.
He considered telling K that recently, he found it hard to breathe if he didn't smoke. Nah, he might really blast my head off.
"Can I try that too?" Ryuichi asked innocently. As if he didn't know better.
And K started giving him a lecture on how smoking damages the lungs and throat and how it affects singing.
"Huh? Then Shuichi shouldn't smoke too!" Ryuichi argued.
"Sakuma-san, I don't sing anymore."
"But you were singing on TV the last time…"
"That was…" Shuichi paused. An exception. "…for promotion purposes."
"Is that so…?" Ryuichi then ran away, with K chasing after him, leaving the two friends alone.
Singing… that's none of my concern now.
"I didn't know you smoked, Shuichi. When didyou start?" Hiro frowned suspiciously.
Shuichi smiled. My best friend. Nobody knows me better. He must be thinking that I turned to smoking because I was just too depressed. Well, that's partly correct. But I can't let anyone know that.
"Akiha offered me one. Not that he did it willingly… one of the photo shoots needed me to smoke. It was for my job."
That was partly true too, only that I had begun smoking before that photo shoot came along. Well, Hiro didn't need to know that.
"Is that so…" Hiro did not look convinced. "So where's that boss of yours? And your girlfriend?"
"Akiha is busy with the photos we took this afternoon. Tsuyoshi, Jun and Haruko have to settle the plans for the closing of the exhibition at Sense Gallery."
"Closing?"
"Yup. I'm going back to America in three days time. Remember?"
"Oh yeah…" Hiro trailed off, sounding a little sad. "Don't you need to help out then?"
Shuichi grinned. "I chose to spend more time with you guys."
Hiro snorted. "Lazy ass." Then he glanced at the cigarette in my hand. "I don't know when you started, but you shouldn't smoke too much. It's bad for your health."
"I know… I only do it once in a while… when I'm stressed." Shuichi moved his chair close to Hiro. It was true. He wasn't a heavy smoker. Ever since that time, he only had a stick now and then. Akiha didn't like it when he smoked and would pester him endlessly whenever he caught him smoking. But with yesterday's events weighing heavily on his mind, he couldn't help it but turn to smoking again.
When did it start? He searched his memory for an answer, and pieces of it came flowing back slowly.
(Flashback)
It was night, yet it was glowing outside. Hmm… oh yeah. That was snow. Glowing white specks of light drifting magically down from the black sky.
Snow… it was pretty, yet icy cold. It floated down without a care in the world, just set on going its own way. Just like him. He was like the snow.
I was alone. I was cold. I needed something to warm me up.
An idea struck me as I passed by the store. I went in, taking in the different brands of cigarettes on the shelf. Why not, I shrugged.
I didn't have the mood to party on that very Christmas day, leaving a message on Akiha's phone informing him that I'm taking a break out of the city. It was all lies though. I was too lazy to get out of the city. Instead, I booked a hotel room somewhere less conspicuous, yet safe enough.
Half-lying on the bed, I picked out a stick and started sucking on it, inhaling too deeply on my first try, thus choking myself. It was great though. This surge of nicotine-produced energy flowed throughout my whole body and sent a tingling sensation down my spine.
Ooh… no wonder there're millions of people out there smoking even though it shortens their lifespan. Life has too much fucked up stuff in it that it didn't matter if I had less of it. I'd rather go for those soothing sticks.
I inhaled again, blew the smoke out, and licked my lips. There was something in the taste of the cigarettes that bothered me, but I couldn't make out what it was exactly.
I looked out of the window at the happy light, happy people, happy everything. Occasional cheers of happiness could be heard too. I wonder briefly what the cause of the happiness was. Christmas? If that's so, it was all so childish.
The happiness didn't reach me. I didn't belong to the world. I was isolated in my room.
I stared out at the snow. Once again, I was enthralled by its cold beauty. It seemed to me that the snow was something too sacred and beautiful for me. On top of that, it was mocking me.
Then I wondered briefly if it was snowing back there.
I continued staring, unable to take my eyes off those white specks.
I glanced down at the third stick in my hand. God. This is addictive.
I stared at it. I admired its elegant shape, its irresistible charm, and the lovely pleasures it was hiding in its body. Well, at least the cigarettes weren't mocking me. They were inviting me with open arms. I get a mental vision of a huge white stick standing upright, smiling slyly and reaching out to me with two arms. Downright stupid. In the past, I might have been amused, but not now.
Then I wondered if this was how it welcomed him back then too.
I stared at the smoke drifting upwards from the tip of the stick. I stared at the smoke I blew out from my mouth.
How mesmerizing. It formed a ghostly shape. It was all so ethereal. I stared at the different shapes trying to make out what they were. But before I could decide, they had morphed into something else and seconds later, they vanished. It was a little irritating, actually. There I was trying to make out what those shapes were and they were refusing to give me a chance to win this game. How did they even escape from me? I was sure that the doors were locked, and the windows were closed. Not even the bathroom door was open.
Oh yeah… through the air-conditioner, maybe. Or some vents.
Then I wondered briefly if the grey figure I was staring at, at that moment, was him. It sure did looked a little like him.
I continued on to my fourth stick. Then, to my fifth. My sixth. My seventh. Damn. I should have bought a dozen packs! Now I'll probably have to go back out to buy more…
It struck me then. Or maybe part of me had already realized it earlier, yet I was unwilling to acknowledge it. I wondered briefly if this was all about him, if I was doing all these because of him. I tried to push this thought out of my mind. I tried to focus on the fascinating things that had captured my attention just – the snow, the cigarette, and the smoke.
Then I wondered briefly which of them reminded me most of him –
The snow, the cigarette, or the smoke.
Or maybe... just maybe...the bittersweet taste left in my mouth that reminded me of his kisses.
(End of flashback)
"So, what happened between you and Yuki-san yesterday?"
Shuichi jumped slightly at the sudden question. "What?"
Hiro stared at the boy. "You can't lie to me, Shuichi. We've been friends for so many donkey years!"
Shuichi kept quiet for a moment before bursting into giggles. "Hirooo… you sound like an old man!"
"Shut up…" Hiro knocked him on the head playfully.
"Well… nothing much happened. I didn't stay at his house for long." He paused. "I hope he's not coming today…"
"Don't worry. I heard from Tatsuha that he refused to come no matter what Seguchi-san and Mika-san said."
"Good." Shuichi breathed a sigh of relief, and then grew solemn. "Hiro, do you believe that some things can be so deeply etched into your memory that no matter how many years you're given, you can never really forget them?"
Hiro gave his friend a sympathetic look. "Shuichi…"
"All the time I was in America, I was so afraid that I would think of him in the middle of the night. I was so afraid that I would accidentally catch news of him. I was so afraid that it would be hard to forget once I'm all alone. And what was worse was that I was afraid that I would suddenly wish that I didn't decide back then… leaving him and all." Shuichi picked up his glass of liquor and took a sip. "But I didn't want to cling on the relationship back then because I didn't want to go on hurting myself and hurting him…"
Hiro sighed. "Everyone says that they do not wish to hurt the other party whenever they ask for a separation. But in the end, they still end up hurting one after another… and of course, they end up to be the ones hurting most."
An image of Haruko flashed past Shuichi's mind. "So you mean that I shouldn't have left him?"
"Don't think that way… I understand that you loved him a lot, and that it must have taken you everything to leave him. But since you've decided on that, you've got to move on. Give yourself more time. Time is a healer."
Shuichi snorted. "People say that, but they also say that absence make the heart fonder. It's confusing, you know? Even if time heals the wounds, the scars are left behind." He leaned his head on Hiro's shoulder. His voice dropped to a soft whisper. "And maybe, just maybe… it's not that I can't forget… but that I don't want to forget… this thought frightens me."
That last sentence lingered in the air between the two of them for some time. None of them spoke.
Finally, Hiro wrap his arm around Shuichi. "Are you going to cry again?"
"Nope." Shuichi blinked blankly. "Funny how my tears seemed to have dried up... I can't cry even if I wanted to. But I don't mind a hug…" He clambered all over Hiro. "Hirooooooo, hug meeeeee…"
"Ok, ok. Here you go…" Hiro obliged and tried pacifying his spoilt friend. "And I had wanted to say that you've grown more matured over the year, but now… you haven't really changed, have you?"
"Oi, those two over there! When are you going to stop hugging and flirting!" Tatsuha yelled from the other side of the pool, close to the house. "Shuichi! Tohma wants to see you! He's in the study room!"
Shuichi frowned as he looked over at Tatsuha.
"I wonder what Seguchi-san wants with you. Did you do anything?" Hiro was frowning in puzzlement as well.
Shuichi shrugged as he twisted his cigarette in the ashtray. "I'll go take a look." But in actual fact, he had a feeling what this was all about.
xXx xXx
"Shindou-san, are you ok?" Tohma asked as soon as Tatsuha left the room.
Shuichi blinked. "Huh? Erm, yeah… I'm fine."
Tohma smiled. "Well, you have to be careful. Tanaka Miyabi has not been arrested yet. She may be plotting something again."
"Oh…" Shuichi replied as realization dawned on him. Is that why Akiha has been so jumpy and clingy lately? "I will."
Tohma was silent for a minute, and Shuichi grew uncomfortable.
"Seguchi-san, is anything wrong?"
Tohma hesitated. "It's just that… that day at the hospital, Eiri-san was asking me about you interfering with Tanaka's plot."
"You didn't tell him, did you?" Shuichi asked agitatedly, jumping out of his chair and slamming his hands onto the desk.
"No, I didn't. But, he'll find out about it sooner or later…"
Shuichi slumped back into his chair and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. "I know. But I'll be leaving in a few days time. Before that, I think it's best to leave matters as how they are now."
"Shindou-san…"
"I don't want to complicate matters. I've said that."
Tohma sighed. "Fine. But please be careful. And, thank you so much for helping us back then. Please express my thanks to Sakurai-san too. He seems to take really good care of you, backing you up and all."
Shuichi grimaced. "Well, it's true that he was helpful… if he hadn't turned up in time, I might not have been able to deal with Sawada alone. But, he's not such a great guy! For everything I asked him to help me with, he insists on some kind of reward! Stupid asshole!"
"So what kind of reward did he ask for this time?" Tohma smiled.
"Well, he…!" Shuichi trailed off in embarrassment as he remembered the kiss. "He… uhm… he…"
"So that's how it is." A cold voice sounded from the door.
Shuichi whipped around and almost died of a heart attack.
"Eiri-san!"
Yuki glared at Tohma, then at Shuichi. He strode towards the latter and pulled the paralyzed boy up from the chair forcefully, shooting him a piercing gaze. "What's the meaning of this!"
"Wha-what?" Shuichi whispered fearfully.
"Eiri-san, wait a minute! Hear me out! We-"
"Shut up!" Yuki shouted at Tohma, before turning back to look at Shuichi in the eye. "I'd rather hear it from this guy over here. I want to talk to him alone. Get out." His words carried a deadly undertone that left no room for protests.
Tohma looked helplessly from Yuki to Shuichi.
"Get out now."
"Ok…" Tohma had no choice but to comply. "But please calm down, Eiri-san."
Once Tohma was out of the room, Shuichi wrenched his hand out of Yuki's grasp. "I… I…"
"What? Don't have the guts to own up for what you did?" Yuki moved closer to Shuichi, causing the boy to step back. "Meddling in my affairs, getting an idiot to back you up and then sleeping with him to thank him, and now, that mad woman is after your life. How lovely. Should I be grateful to you?"
With every accusation, he stepped forward towards Shuichi, forcing the boy to back against the desk.
How dare he say that again!
Shuichi gritted his teeth, furious. "I didn't sleep with him. How many times do I have to say that!"
"Oh really? I wouldn't know, since you love lying to me so much."Yuki leaned forward, trapping Shuichi between his arms once again.
Shuichi looked away and blushed, leaning as far back as he could. "Get-get away from me! Move!"
Yuki narrowed his eyes and kept quiet and still for a few moments, before removing his hands from the desk. "Why did you do that?"
"Do what?" Shuichi's heart was still thumping wildly.
"Help me. Why did you help me?"
"I… that was because… I…"
I love you.
"Yes?"
I love you.
I love you.
I love you!
Can't you hear me?
Shuichi bit his lip in anguish. "I… I don't see what's so strange with helping… helping a friend out…"
A friend? Yuki's heart seemed to contract at that.
"I helped you and you saved me, so we're quits. And, if it wasn't you back then… if any of my friends were in danger, I would sacrifice everything to help them too. It's not that you're special or anything like that..."
No, that's not true. I love you, I love you, I still love you!
… It's just that I can't say it out loud anymore…
"So that's how it is. I'm not special."
Huh? Shuichi looked up, confused. Was that… was there hurt in his voice?
"Then, allow me to express my thanks for your help…" Yuki reached out suddenly and lifted Shuichi's chin up, crushing his lips down upon the boy's. He pressed on hard for a response, taking advantage ofShuichi'sstunned reactionto slip his tongue in, exploring the warm cavern slowly and skillfully.
After a few moments, Yuki pulled away, leaving Shuichi dazed and shocked.
"That was a 'thank you kiss' for you." Yuki whispered bitterly into Shuichi's ear, sending a tingle down Shuichi's spine.
SPLASH!
Shuichi dropped the empty plastic cup onto the carpeted floor and bolted out of the room, still blushing furiously.
"Eiri-san!" Tohma shrieked in anxiety as he stared at the empty cup, and at Yuki's face which was dripping wet.
"Shuichi? Where are you going!" Footsteps sounded up the stairs and the next minute, Mika came bursting in. "Tohma! What's going on? Shuichi left! I heard some shouting and… Eiri!" Mika stopped short at the door and gasped when she noticed Yuki. "I didn't know you were coming. What happened?"
Tohma rushed a get a towel while Yuki wiped his lips with the back of his hand. "Stupid brat…" His features softened. "I just don't understand you…"
Meanwhile, Shuichi ran out of the house, without bothering with his goodbyes.
What the hell was that all about! Stupid, stupid Yuki! You were special… but you didn't want to be… so why are you acting this way now? Why? Why! You're confusing me…
His head was whirling. He wanted so much to cry, but there weren't any tears left to shed.
"Shindou-san?"
Shuichi whipped around and found himself face to face with Suzuki Atsushi. The guy seemed to be heading into the house.
So… Yuki brought him to the party?
"Shindou-san, you look very red. Are you running a fever?" Atsushi reached out and pressed his palm against Shuichi's forehead.
Then why did Yuki even bothered to ask me those questions? Why did he sound so hurt by what I said? Why did he kiss me? It was all just a 'thank you kiss' eh?
Shuichi slapped Atsushi's hand away and took off, ignoring the calls of Atsushi. Once he reached a safe distance away from Tohma's house, he picked out his phone, trembling. The line clicked.
"A-Akiha? I need you. Please."
xXx to be continued xXx
Done! Heehee… Sorry for the last scene. I didn't know what I wanted, so it somehow turned out like that. SOB!
I'm really brain-dead now, so pardon me for not answering your reviews individually! Sorry! Sorry!
And about how chapters there will be… I can't give you a definite answer, but it's going to end soon. Let's see… this is chapter 19, so I guess there should be around 22 chapters? Yes, that's the estimate.
Well then, that's it for now!