Sorry for the late update! I was distracted by Mirage of Blaze… heehee. Mirage of Blaze is so intriguing! The relationship between Kagetora and Naoe just blows me away. A love so intense, it's to the point of desperation, obsession, hatred, envy, pain, etc, etc, etc. Gyaaa! I just love it. But the anime and ova are not yaoi enough. I want more, more, more! sob I really want to read the novels, but my Japanese isn't up to that level yet. sigh

For now, let's go back to Gravitation.

DISCLAIMER: Gravitation is not mine.

MOU ICHI DO
Chapter 20 – Truth and Deceit

Here it comes again… Shuichi groaned inwardly and turned back to his dear pal for the last twenty minutes – the toilet bowl. He vomited for the third time ever since he had arrived back at his hotel room. Feeling emptied and totally grossed out, he flushed the toilet bowl and pushed himself off the ground, back up to the sink to wash his mouth. He splashed the cool water onto his face at the same time, trying to wash away his all his thoughts. The room was quiet except for the sounds of running water and heavy breathing. Shuichi stared at himself in the mirror, watching droplets of water trickling down his pale face, his eyes coming to a rest on his lips – the tingling sensation of Yuki's kiss still remained.

"Why did you help me?"

Because I love you.

"Friends… You aren't special."

"Then, allow me to express my thanks for your help… That was a 'thank you kiss' for you…"

…

"Shindou-san?"

Yuki brought him to the party?

Indeed, Yuki had brought him to the party.

Shuichi stumbled down onto his knees, leaning against the sink for support. I thought that I'd be happy enough to be able to stay close to you, even if we can't be together. But somehow, when you're right before my eyes and I can't reach out to you, it hurts much more than when I can't see you.

He heard the door clicked open, followed by muffled hurried footsteps.

"Shuichi? Shuichi, are you ok?"

Shuichi glanced up at Akiha and gave him a small smile.

Akiha frowned, obviously worried. "What the hell are you doing? Your shirt's all wet! You've got to change out of it before you fall sick…"

Meanwhile, Shuichi dragged himself up to a standing position and started unbuttoning his shirt.

"Here." Akiha was about to pass Shuichi a clean shirt when he froze suddenly.

"Shuichi… what's all these!" He grabbed the boy roughly by the arms, causing him to yelp in pain. "Where did you get them!"

"Ouch! Let go of me! It hurts, you idiot!"

"They're all over you…" Akiha freed Shuichi, but still looked on in shock. "Don't tell me… that time when you went to visit him… you…" He searched Shuichi's eyes, hoping for some form of denial. Yet, Shuichi's silence confirmed his suspicion. "Oh my god… I can't believe this. How could you…"

Shuichi snatched the shirt in Akiha's hand and slipped it on.

"I found you weird after you came back that night, and you've been acting weird these few days too. But I didn't expect this at all… what in the world were you thinking!"

"If lecturing me is the only thing you can think of, then stop. I don't want to hear it." Shuichi snapped and pushed past Akiha. He flopped down onto the bed and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, lighting one stick.

"You're smoking again?" Akiha frowned when the boy continued to ignore him. Getting seriously pissed off now, he swiped the lighted cigarette away from Shuichi. "Stop it. Listen to me."

Instead of doing just that, Shuichi pulled out another cigarette and lighted it nonchalantly.

"Shuichi!" Akiha pulled the boy off the bed forcefully. He held Shuichi's chin in place, forcing the boy to look at him. "Don't you think you need to explain this? What were you thinking back then? What do you plan to do now?"

"I don't see a need to explain matters to you. Who are you to me?"

Akiha gritted his teeth. "Fine. What about Haruko then? From what I know, she's still your girlfriend, isn't she? But you went ahead and cheated on her?"

Silence.

"If you're planning to run back to your old lover, shouldn't you first give your current lover a warning? Don't you think you owe her that much at least!"

Anger flashed in Shuichi's violet orbs. "I didn't say that I was going back to him! Not now, not ever!"

"Then what's the meaning of this?"

"I don't see why you're making a fuss over this! It was nothing! Yes, we slept together, but so what? It was plain fucking and nothing more. We did it in the heat of a moment, only to satisfy our lust. It was just casual sex… a one-night stand... casual sex! Get it! So, this isn't important at all!"

"Is that so…?"

Shuichi was about to shoot Akiha a dangerous glare when Akiha brought his lips down onto his. His eyes widened in shock. The kiss was slow and sensual at first, but grew with fervor as Shuichi took time struggling to comprehend the matter at hand.

"Nnn… what are you…" Shuichi's protest was cut off as Akiha's kiss grew more forceful. The next thing he knew, he was being pushed back down onto the bed, with Akiha pinning down his wrists with one hand, and groping his body with the other hand.

"St-stop! What are you doing! No... No! Don't! STOP IT!"

Akiha sighed and released the trembling boy. "See? And you're telling me it was nothing? Who do you think you're lying to, you silly idiot? I know that you're never into casual sex…" He paused before moving on. "You slept with him because you still love him very much, right?"

"…So what? There's nothing I can do about the fact that I slept with him again, there's nothing I can do about the fact that I still love him, there's nothing I can do about anything at all…"

"Aren't you just running away?"

"No, I'm not!" Shuichi shouted and curled on his side. "At least now… I'm not denying that I still love him."

"Are you going back to him?"

"…No."

"If that is so, make it clear to him so that he'll stop bothering you. Avoiding him won't solve the problem. Since it'll be a long time before you set foot in Tokyo again, why not settle this once and for all? Drawing matters to a conclusion would be good… for him, for you, and for Haruko."

"…"

"Anyway, you should get some sleep first. You look terrible! You can think about it later, and I'll be in my room if you want to talk." Akiha ruffled Shuichi's hair affectionately. "Don't worry, everything's going to be alright. I'll be there for you no matter what you choose to do." He pressed a chaste kiss on Shuichi's hair and left.

Shuichi stared into space for a whole fifteen minutes before resigning himself to sleep. Recent events had rendered him too tired to even think properly now.

The last thing he remembered before drifting into darkness was, strangely, Haruko.

xXx xXx xXx

"Hmm? You guys are back already?" Akiha asked in surprise as he met Haruko, Jun, and Tsuyoshi on his way to the bar.

"Well, our poor girl here couldn't enjoy herself one bit knowing that Shuichi left early because he was unwell. That's why we're back…" Jun sighed while hugging an enormous bag. "Yuki-san wasn't in a good mood either. And to think I brought so many novels wishing that he would autograph them."

"How's Shuichi?" Haruko asked, looking a little pale and out of sorts.

"He threw up and all, but he was feeling better when I left him to rest. I think he's asleep by now."

"I'll go check on him."

"I don't think you should. You might wake him up."

Haruko ignored Akiha and continued on her way to Shuichi's room. "It's ok, I'll be real quiet."

Akiha stared after her for a moment before shrugging. "I'm going to get a drink."

"I'll come with you." Tsuyoshi eyed Akiha knowingly. They proceeded on their way, leaving Jun to sulk over her un-autographed novels.

Down at the bar, Akiha ordered a Chivas Mist and a Rum Martini and lighted a cigarette. The drinks came and Tsuyoshi picked up the Rum Martini. "So how is he?"

"I'm not sure…" Akiha took a sip at his drink. "But he looked like hell just now. He seems to be struggling a lot. Especially after recent events…"

"Recent events?"

Akiha watched a lady took a seat at the piano. Her slender fingers glided over the keys.

Chopin's Nocturne in E Flat.

Tsuyoshi seemed to get the point. "Is he planning to stay?"

"He answered 'no'. And I think he meant it, even though he doesn't necessarily want it that way."

"What do you mean?"

"In my opinion, he's not afraid of how he truly feels, but he's afraid of moving on from that point. Right now, the only path that is presented to him is to come with us, yet, his heart is rejecting this path. However, leaving this path and chasing after his desired one would mean having to face countless obstacles that he isn't confident of winning at all. In the end, he could lose both paths." Akiha blew out a trail of smoke. "Scary, isn't it?"

"It's a funny way to explain it, but I think I get what you mean."

Akiha smiled teasingly. "You're worried for Haruko, aren't you?"

Tsuyoshi sighed. "She is my sister. I don't want to see her getting hurt."

"Well, go ahead and blame me then."

"…"

"I wonder…" Akiha rested his left cheek against his palm, and picked up a Mai Tai with his other hand. "Maybe I shouldn't have given him away to Haruko back then. I'm starting to regret it."

"Ha-ha. That's not funny, Akiha."

"I'm not kidding. Shuichi's a real cutie, you know? His hair smells of strawberries, his slender body is so huggable, and he has a nice ass. Not to mention that he's a sweetie at heart, and a silly idiot too. Kawaiiiiiiii…"

"Right, right. Shut up, you crazy pervert."

"You know what? I told him that I'll be there for him no matter what he decides to do, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to let him go when the time comes."

"Akiha…"

"I told myself that I was protecting him by getting him into a normal relationship. That was the reason why I never held him back. But the truth is… I knew how much he loved that guy. And I wasn't confident of winning that guy. In the end, I allowed Haruko to take that bet."

"I can assure you that she was willing to take that bet."

"Coming to Japan was a mistake too. I forced him to return here. I practically led him to that guy again."

"Stop blaming yourself. I don't understand why you're saying all these now."

"He's breaking down again because of what I did…"

"Akiha! Stop it. This isn't like you at all. Shuichi's going to be alright. He's stronger than he seems. So, stop this. You're not helping him by behaving like that." Tsuyoshi sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're tired. Get some sleep and you'll be fine. I'll see you to your room."

Minutes later, Akiha fell down onto the bed, beside Shuichi, who shifted slightly, but continued sleeping. He gazed at the boy's sleeping face and admired his little model's perfect features. Smiling slightly, he snuggled closer and wrapped an arm around the boy, drifting off to sleep as well.

xXx xXx xXx

Shuichi stifled a yawn and rubbed his eyes lazily.

Ah… so warm…

"Yuki… I love you…" He snuggled closer to the warm body, and froze.

Hold on. Hold on for a minute. This…Yuki doesn't smell like this. Then…

He jerked up, away from the stranger, and accidentally fell off the bed with a loud thud, pulling the sheets down with him.

"Hmm? What… Shuichi, what are you doing down there? Are you hurt?"

"You…" Shuichi convulsed with anger. "What are you doing in my bed!"

"…Sleeping with you?"

"WTF. Don't say it as if it's a natural thing to do!"

"But-"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear any of your nonsense." Shuichi glared threateningly before stomping off to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm gonna wash up and then go out!"

Akiha grabbed Shuichi's arm and pulled the latter into his embrace.

"What-"

"I know. I'm sorry. But... let me hold you for a little while?"

Shuichi frowned at the strange tone in Akiha's voice. "Akiha? What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Akiha released Shuichi and smiled. "So, have you thought about it?"

Shuichi remained silent for a minute. "I guess the only way to end all these is to talk to him about it. I don't want to continue trying to understand what's on his mind. I wish to get this settled before we leave for America."

Akiha blinked. "…You're leaving with us?"

"Of course!" Shuichi remarked in surprise, and then looked away sadly. "I don't think there's any chance that I'll be staying…"

Half an hour later, Shuichi stood in front of the mirror, and nodded slightly at himself when he approved of what he saw. He stepped out of his room and closed the door behind him.

"Shuichi? You're going out?"

Shuichi spun around and saw Haruko who had just walked out of her room too. He stared at her for a moment before smiling. "Yup."

Her face fell. "Oh. Where are you going? Can I tag along?"

Shuichi faltered. "I'm going to meet Hiro. Ayaka-san is not going to be there, so I don't think you would want to come along too."

"Oh… ok…" She returned him a tight smile. "Be careful then."

"Bye."

Haruko watched Shuichi's retreating back with a pained look in her eyes. She held up the cell phone in her left hand. "Hello? Sorry, Ayaka-san… you were talking about meeting up?"

"Yup! I'm out with Nakano-san now. Do you and Shuichi want to meet us for lunch?"

Haruko felt a lump in her throat.

"Haruko-chan? Haruko-chan!"

"… I'm sorry, we're busy today. But thanks for the offer…"

She hung up as a tear slid down her cheek, and hurried back into her room before anyone saw her.

xXx xXx xXx

Yuki sighed mentally for the hundredth time that day and stared at the TV absentmindedly. However, whatever he tried distracting himself with, his mind defied him by drifting off to thoughts of Shuichi.

So the only reason he sung again was because of me… and the only reason he kissed that guy was also because of me…

Does that mean that he still loves me?

But he told Seguchi that he didn't want me to know about it… saying that he didn't want to complicate matters…

Does that mean that he doesn't want to have anything to do with me?

What the heck. I don't understand him at all! What the hell is he thinking?

"Eiri-san, is something wrong? You've been staring into space for the whole day…" Atsushi reached for Yuki and lightly brushed away the hair that had fallen over his eye. He then turned Yuki's face towards him and started kissing Yuki softly on the lips. "Eiri-san…"

"I'm not in the mood for this."

"Then I'll help you get in the mood for it." Atsushi smirked teasingly. He started unbuttoning Yuki's shirt.

There was twinkle of mischief in those violet eyes. Violet eyes…

A flashback of a brown-haired boy writhing beneath him attacked his mind:
Their need and desire for each other rose to a fever-pitch. Sweating and panting, they pressed their naked forms against each other. All that they saw was each other, and all that they felt was how much they wanted each other. Nothing else in the world mattered. Everything else in the world seemed so insignificant.

The brown-haired boy turned into a pink-haired one. Damp hair clung onto the boy's forehead as he lay on the bed, panting. He remembered that that was how the boy looked like after sex. Sweating, panting, his voice hoarse from screaming - everything, everything was sexy and cute about him.

And he remembered how the boy would smile softly, his eyes brimming with love, those sweet words slipping through his bruised lips.

"Yuki, I love you."

Yuki snapped back to reality when the phone rang abruptly. He noticed that Atsushi was already working on his pants.

Damn it. I've got to stop thinking of the past. I bet the reason why I'm remembering so much lately is due to the brat being back in town. Once he leaves, everything will return to normal.

He sighed mentally again and decided to allow Atsushi the fun that he had been begging for. He pulled Atsushi up and began to kiss him. He could vaguely hear the answering machine taking the call. It reminded him of the time where the answering machine would go: "Hello! This is Yuki's and Shuichi's love nest! Do you mind leaving a message because I'm busy sending lots of love, hearts and kisses to Yuki right now? And of course, Yuki's busy receiving them… and returning them. (giggle) Yuki! You're supposed to catch the kiss I blew to you! Yuki!" Beep.

He frowned and kissed Atsushi more urgently.

"… please leave a message after the beep tone."

Beep.

"… Yuki…"

Yuki's eyes widened as the sound of that voice. He jumped and broke away from the kiss and turned to gape at the phone.

"I know you're home. It's ok, you don't have to pick up the phone."

Yuki remained watching the phone intently, as if the phone was lying to him.

"Yuki… I… I want to see you. Can we meet in front of the South exit of Tokyo Station at 1:30?"

Yuki glanced at the clock. It was 12.

"I… I'll keep on waiting there until you turn up… doesn't matter how late you are… I really want to see you. Bye, for now."

Beep.

For the next few minutes, all Yuki could do was to sit and stare. He wasn't sure if his mind was playing a trick on him. He wasn't sure of anything at all, since his mind was quitescrewed up recently.

"Eiri-san, are you alright? You don't have to go if you don't want to."

Yuki glanced at Atsushi. If he heard it too, it means that… that was really Shuichi on the line!

"We could continue from where we left off…"

Without a word, Yuki pushed Atsushi away again and leapt off the couch, heading for the bathroom.

There was no way he was not going.

For he wanted to see Shuichi badly too.

xXx xXx TBC xXx xXx

Ok… I'm not sure how Akiha ended up ranting on and on. It's a little OOC there. I thought of re-doing it, but then again, it shows how much Shuichi meant to him. (Does it?) I don't know… argh! Please tell me if it's good or bad. I can edit it.

Haruko. If you're puzzled over Haruko's behavior, wait for the next chapter.

I'll do a major YukixShuichi and a little ShuichixHaruko next chapter. Things will be more or less settled. I'm definitely ending this fic after 3 more chapters. Argh... I've gotta stop rambling on and on, or things will get too draggy! (sob)

Lastly,a big THANK YOU to all my reviewers!(huggles)

Until next time!