(10) When your dreams give out

"You haven't opened her calendar." Chibiusa put a small bowl on the table in Hotaru's room. It contained little chocolate bars in the form of different animals. "I've opened it for you, so that you'll know when Christmas has come." There were tears sparkling in pink eyes, but Chibiusa did not cry. Bravely she sat down next to the white bed and took her best friend's lifeless hand. To hold it tight, to hold her back in this life, to never let her go.

The future princess of Crystal Tokyo did not see all the machines making unnerving noise around her nor did she notice all the needles sticking in Hotaru's pale skin. The taller girl's eyes were closed, her face ashen. Tubes were connected to her throat, doing the breathing for her. Her body was not able to do it all by herself. Not now. Maybe never again…

"There's was no sport lesson today, because of all the snow. My teacher slipped and broke his ankle, you know. So I don't have to do any of those stupid exercises till the end of the year…" chatted Chibiusa and stroked over Hotaru's hand, ignoring the fact that Hotaru did not answer her, could probably not even hear her.

Michiru nodded towards Mamoru who sat outside the room, drinking another cup of tea, looking very tired, indeed. Then she entered the room. She was not as naïve as the future princess, she did see all the machines, the needles, the tubes. They made her feel even more helpless. And Angry. Angry at herself for that she had not been able to protect the little girl better.

The sea beauty did not disturb Chibiusa's tale. She only smiled at the future princess and put her flowers to the others on the table. It looked like the entire Senshi team had visited the ill girl. They all had brought flowers with them, surely, because did not know what else to do. No one except Rei and Usagi who stopped their silly little fights at once and started to search for a solution at once.

Michiru hoped, no, she prayed that they would really find a way as Usagi had promised them only yesterday. Because it looked as if there was not much time left for Hotaru…

"You can go in, as well." Mamoru's voice sounded friendly, but Michiru was sure that Haruka's face showed nothing but hostility towards him.

"I don't like hospitals and it's my decision if I want to stay outside, thank you very much." There were footsteps walking away, probably towards the vending machine serving coffee and warm tea. Michiru sighed, but she knew it was senseless. Haruka did only accompany her, because she did not want her walking around in the bad weather. The snowstorm got worse and the streets were icy.

Michiru knew too well that Haruka did not like hospitals. Still the sea beauty did not know much about her partner in crime; however she got to know during the past months that Haruka was raised by her grandmother after her parents died during a fatal accident when the blonde had been ten years old. The doctors fought for their lives but lost in the end. Surely Haruka was feeling the same now as she had then; even though she did not show it.

"… and then Luna, Usagi's cat, ate my pudding. Can you believe it? I've been looking forward to it and then this baka neko eats it…" Chibiusa squeezed the cold hand carefully and sniffed a little bit as she two tears rolled over her burning cheeks. Michiru stood next to the sea of flowers, fixing her red roses. She did not know how to react, if she should say something to her future princess and if, what she should tell her. Michiru did not have any comforting words for herself, least alone any for a sad Chibiusa.

"It's time to go, Chibiusa-chan." Mamoru saved her by entering the room and telling his future daughter to come with him. Hotaru was laying on the intensive care unit, every visitor had only five minutes and the nurses did supervise this room strictly.

"I don't wanna go…" sulked Chibiusa but rose nevertheless as the young man gently took her free hand. For along moment she held Hotaru's tight, before she let go, hesitatingly.

"We'll visit her tomorrow, little one."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

If she's still here tomorrow.

Michiru crumpled the paper and followed them to find a dustbin to throw it away. She almost crashed into Mamoru as the young man stopped, bowed and took a now openly crying Chibiusa in his arms to carry her.

"Usagi's trying everything in her might." He said and hugged the little girl who wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder.

"I know. I do trust her." Michiru was surprised to hear those words from her own mouth and she was even more surprised to find that she meant them. Really meant them from the depth of her heart.

Mamoru smiled tiredly. Then he indicated a bow and left. He was wearing his normal winter clothes, no dark tuxedo, still Michiru believed to hear the swirling of his black cape. She shook her head and went back to Hotaru's room. There were some minutes left of her visiting time and she wanted to use them before she would search for Dr. Tomoe and ask him again if there were any changes in Hotaru's condition.

Signalling her survival or her…

No, she did not want to end that thought. It was too brutal, she was not ready to face it. Not yet.

"Gomen…"

Michiru recognized the silent voice before she entered the room. She stopped on the threshold and watched Haruka sitting on the chair which Chibiusa had inhabited only seconds before. However, the blonde did not hold Hotaru's hand or stoke through dark hair. It seemed as if the wind senshi was afraid to touch the little girl. As if Hotaru could break under her fingers.

She looks so fragile.

They both do…

Michiru gulped as she saw the small teddy bear in Haruka's hands. Normally it was buried somewhere in the blonde's bed under a one of her soft pillows. Now it was gently put down next to the unconscious little girl. To take care of her. To watch over her deep sleep. To show her that she was not alone.

"Gomen…"

Haruka leaned back in the chair and stared blindly at the machines. Not seeing Michiru leaning against the door frame, fighting with her tears. Not hearing Hotaru's unnatural breathing. Not noticing anything but her own thoughts, her own personal guilt.

"I couldn't protect you, Hime-chan."