A/N: I get the feeling I'm going to lose a lot of reviewers if I make this a Draco/Hermione fic, which I probably am. I might write an alternate fic that makes it Ron/Hermione, though I'm strictly against writing that pairing. (Not because I don't think it's fairly obvious, but because I think what J.K. Rowling writes for the two of them is good enough.)

Anyways, if you hate this ship, review to this chapter and tell me if you'd like me to try to write a Ron/Hermione.

"Look Granger, I know it's hard for girls to resist me, but your actions lead me to believe you've been taking little white pills," Malfoy said as he followed Hermione down the hall.

"They're blue, actually," Hermione replied steadily, catching him off guard for a moment.

"You're so witty."

"And your sarcasm leaves a lot to be desired."

"Anyways, Granger, why would you bid on me?" It was something about her that he couldn't quite figure out, and it bothered him to no end.

"My charity Malfoy."

"It was all about the charity, right? I believe that."

She whirled around. "I hate you with a passion, Draco Malfoy. Do you honestly think I'm harboring some deep desire for you just because a load of girls think you're incredibly sexy?"

He looked at her smugly, then leaned in and whispered in her ear. "No Granger. I'd only think that if you thought I was incredibly sexy."

"Your pathetic attempts at making me swoon for you aren't going to work Malfoy. And because I have to spend time with you for the next week," she glared at him. "Not by choice, I might add; it's in the papers I had to sign when I bid on you, I'm going to want you to maybe just stop being a prat for the next seven days. Is that so hard?"

"Clearly you don't know what it's like to be me," he replied, and Hermione growled and stomped away, leaving a smirking Malfoy in her wake.

"Hullo Hermione," came Ron's voice from behind her.

She was seated comfortably in the Gryffindor common room, trying to see if there was some way she could get out of spending time with Malfoy for a week. After all, there were, as she'd mentioned before, loads of other girls who'd be happy to have him. Then again, she'd spent loads of money on him, so why not take advantage of the situation. Hermione paused in her thinking, realizing how wrong that would have sounded….

"Hermione?" Ron asked, breaking her out of her reverie.

"Yes?" She said, finally turning to him.

"You know you just said all that out loud?"

Hermione looked at him in shock. "Erm…."

Ron grinned at her. "So long as you don't fancy him, Hermione, it could be a very interesting week."

"I need to go talk to Hannah," Hermione stumbled, leaving Ron shaking his head in her wake.

"Hermione," Hannah said, grabbing her friend's arm as she barreled past her in the hall.

"Oh," Hermione said, peering at Hannah. "It's you."

"Don't sound so thrilled."

"No, no," Hermione sighed, straightening up and regaining her composure, "I was looking for you, actually."

"Well that's good then, since you've found me," Hannah replied, only a little sarcastically.

"Right. Well then…." Hermione paused, then looked behind her. "Hannah, I bid on Draco Malfoy and I won him and it was really only for my charity but now everyone's thinking that I'm hopelessly infatuated with him or something and I don't even want to spend a minute with him, let alone seven days!"

"Hermione, get a grip!" Hannah cried. "This could work in your favour."

Hermione took a deep breath. "How?"

"You hate him, right? So make his life a living hell."

"Like you're doing with what's-his-face?"

Hannah coloured slightly. "Erm…."

"Hannah?" Hermione asked warily.

"Right, exactly how what I'm doing!" Hannah said, sounding far too perky for Hermione's tastes. But she had other things on her mind.

"I've got to go," Hermione said, eyes trailing after someone and sounding very flustered.

"OK…." Hannah replied, then grabbed Hermione's arm. "Have you been taking those red pills again, Mione?"

"They're blue!" Hermione called over her shoulder as she scampered down the hall, grinning slightly, leaving a bemused Hannah in her wake.

Hermione caught up to Harry a few seconds later. "Harry?" She began, and Harry spun around to face her quickly.

"Hermione."

"Harry," Hermione replied.

He grinned at her mockery. "Sorry. I'm a little out of it."

"Well, join the club."

He looked at her curiously. "Why?"

"Why should you join or why am I out of it?"

He grinned again. "Why are you out of it?"

"I bought Malfoy in the auction."

Harry blanched. "I didn't realize…."

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Harry! I don't like him, but there was this other girl who was going to bid on him and her charity was something like-"

"I've got to go!" Harry said hurriedly, looking at a spot past Hermione's head. And for the first time that day, somebody else left Hermione in their wake.

A/N: Questions, comments, queries, complaints, letters to the editor, favourite lines (especially) are all accepted. Don't you all just want to know what's up with the pills? And what's up with Harry? Yeah, I thought so.