Psychology. A psychiatric disorder characterized by an 1) inability to concentrate, 2) insomnia,3) loss of appetite, 4) anhedonia, 5)feelings of extreme sadness, 6) guilt, 7) helplessness and hopelessness, and 8) thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression.
Note: Depression on the whole can be classified as a withdrawal symptom.
(Anhedonia: Absence of pleasure from the performance of acts that would normally be pleasurable.)
Part 1: Hermione
1.
"Hermione…? Hermione?" Harry stared at his friend. Ron waved a hand in front of her face. "HERMIONE!"
"What?" She snapped, looking rather perturbed.
"We've been trying to get your attention," Harry replied wryly.
Hermione had the grace to look sheepish. "Oh."
"And so, in the witch rebellion in the late 1700's, the great majority of the battles were won by which side? Anyone? …..Anyone? Anyone?"
Hermione looked at the swirls on her page. They were awfully pretty swirls. Maybe she should have them framed…
"I don't know what to do about Will," Hannah confided to her friend.
"Hmmm…." Hermione replied, looking at a piece of parchment on her lap.
"I mean, I think I like him but-" Hannah looked curiously at her friend. "David Beckham visited my house last night."
"Hmmm…."
"Orlando Bloom proposed to me outside of my dorm room this morning."
Hermione nodded her head.
"Draco Malfoy told me he loved you."
"That's nice Hannah."
2.
Hermione's ceiling had always been one of things that wouldn't be considered incredibly interesting. As a general rule, in fact, ceilings aren't very interesting at all. But on this particular night, with odd shadows cast across it, Hermione was finding her ceiling fascinating.
No, really. Well, that and the fact that she couldn't sleep. And she might as well stare at her ceiling if she couldn't sleep. Ceiling….shadows…palm trees…pumpkin pie….red stickers….Draco Malfoy
Maybe she should try sleeping again.
3.
"Hermione," Ron began nervously. "Have you started on another campaign against using the house elves to prepare the feasts?"
"No Ron."
"Then," Harry started, looking confused at worried all at once (which was easy to see, as he was the master of conflicted emotions) "Why aren't you eating."
"I've never liked toast," Hermione replied mildly, sounding an awful lot like Luna.
Harry and Ron exchanged glances.
4.
"Ms. Granger, the next edition of Hogwarts: A History has just come in to the library," Mrs. Pince told Hermione as she passed through the library.
"Thank you," Hermione said, and continued on her way. Mrs. Pince had bent down to get the book for her, but when she looked back, Hermione was gone.
"Pop quiz," Snape drawled, looking pleased. The entire class groaned. Hermione didn't say anything. The entire class stared at Hermione. "Well Ms. Granger. Aren't you excited?"
"Oh, um, of course," Hermione replied blankly. The entire class continued to stare at her.
"It was awful Hannah," Harry said. "She wasn't excited at all about the pop quiz."
Hannah looked aghast.
5.
Hermione looked at herself in the mirror. The corners of her lips turned down. She tried to smile. The sun shone. Hermione grimaced even more. The birds sang. Hermione closed her window.
Life was pathetic.
No it's not, said the voice inside her head. You're just experiencing feelings of extreme sadness.
"Obviously," Hermione replied.
6.
"Harry," Hermione began. "I'm so sorry."
"Erm….What for?"
When it says guilt, the voice began, it means about something you've actually done.
"Oh," Hermione said. Then she began to walk away. Harry stared after her fearfully. There was definitely something wrong with her.
7.
"Life is hopeless," Hermione told her ceiling dryly. "But I don't know why."
Because you're absolutely helpless in this great big world? The voice said.
Hermione thought about it. "That's probably it."
8.
It became clear to Hermione that there was only one way to solve her problem(s).
She had to kill Draco Malfoy.
Part 2: Malfoy
1.
"I'm sorry Professor," Malfoy began. "What was the question?"
"…and then, you won't believe this, she said that I had the most- Draco, you're not paying attention," Pansy said reproachfully. "Are you suffering from depression and are therefore finding you are unable to concentrate?"
"No," Malfoy replied. "You just bore me."
Draco Malfoy was not a doodler. He did not draw pretty squiggles or hearts or portraits all over his work. This was partly because it had greater repercussion with ink than with a #2 pencil, like most high school students use, but it was also because it was not in his nature.
If, however, you looked at all his work from the past week, you would see more pretty squiggles and portraits than actual work.
2.
When Malfoy couldn't sleep, he briefly considered taking his broomstick and flying around the Quidditch pitch. But he was too cold.
He then thought about reading a book- but he had read all the books in his collection too many times to count, and he couldn't go to the library. He was too cold.
He thought about painting a picture. Then he realized he had no paints, nor any talent. Plus he was too cold to even sit and paint.
He then considered sending an owl to Hermione….But sleep was probably a better option. In the long run. Obviously.
3.
Draco poked his steak.
"Don't tell me you've started dieting," Blaise said in exaggerated gay voice. "You know, not everyone can be thin like the celebrities Draco dahling, least of all you."
Draco poked his salad.
"Where has your appetite gotten to? Hawaii?" Blaise laughed at his own joke.
Draco poked the potatoes on his plate.
"At least drink some milk. Grow strong bones," Blaise continued, unabashed, in a grandma voice. Switching back to his own he continued "So you can play Quidditch and we might actually have a chance at the cup this year…"
Draco pokes his bread roll. Blaise gave up.
4.
"Want to come torture first years with us?"
"No," Malfoy replied.
"Want to come torture some Gryffindors with us?"
"No," Malfoy replied.
"Want to work on extra potions?"
Malfoy hesitated. "No," he replied.
5.
"What's sadness?" Malfoy asked to the hallway.
"Stop trying to be all deep and philosophical," a passing third year growled.
6.
Feeling guilty? Asked the voice in Malfoy's head sympathetically.
"No," he responded.
I bet you are. I bet you're harbouring deep feelings of guilt.
"About what?"
Never being able to please your father, getting second-best marks, never sending a Christmas card to your Aunt Lucinda, keeping that book from the library…And never telling Hermione Granger how you truly felt about her.
Malfoy didn't say anything for a few moments. "Shut up."
7.
Malfoy sat in the astronomy tower with a group of students smoking something.
"Life is hopeless," Malfoy said, resting his head in his hands.
"Totally," agreed another boy.
"It's like….Hopelessly hopeless," one girl commented.
"We're all so helpless in this great big world," said one boy passionately.
"Malfoys aren't helpless," Malfoy said, looking outraged, before stomping away from the astronomy tower.
There was a brief silence, but it was a very deep silence. "Totally."
"Totally," the others agreed.
8.
It became clear to Malfoy that there was only one way to solve his problem(s).
He had to kill Hermione Granger.
A/N: Hey guys. Sorry this took so long. I was 'totally' brain dead- severe writer's block- couldn't think of anything. I tried to keep this mildly humorous while not being too weird, but I don't know how well that worked. All thoughts are appreciated, and if you liked a certain line, tell me!
Allybally: Because I updated, you have to as well. That's the rule.