A/N: I am truly sorry, Fiby, for the lack of Ron. He just didn't really fit in this story, and I'm sorry- but if you like Ron you probably wouldn't have liked how I portrayed him anyways. It tends to be seen as Ron-bashing, though I never mean it to be.

Anyways, on with the chapter.

My Dear Hermione Granger,

Please meet me at the Potions classroom this evening at 9 O'clock. I have a surprise for you.

D. Malfoy

My Dear Draco Malfoy,

The entire idea of receiving a surprise from a Slytherin is something I look upon with apprehension. However, I am intrigued, and therefore will be seeing you at 9 O'clock.

H. Granger

Promptly 9 O'clock:

Hermione had, of course, arrived on time. Despite her immense feelings of absolute terror at meeting a Slytherin in a dark room at night, she had come. She had, however, also brought her wand, various types of poison, one knife, and a can of mace.

When Malfoy finally arrived, her wand was clutched in her hand, the can of mace in her other, and the poison in her pockets and the knife in her boot. But when she saw him she completely relaxed her grip on everything (including reality) just to look at him. He had decided to come directly from a last-minute Quidditch practice, and so his shirt was stuck to his chest in a way that could only be described in a rather un-Hermione-like way: Incredibly, dashingly, horribly, and absolutely mind-blowingly sexy.

"Granger," he said with a curt nod. And before he knew it, the bookworm had pounced on him and they had sex right then and there.

No, I lied. I mean, did you actually believe that? Rewind a bit.

"Granger," he said with a curt nod.

"Malfoy," Hermione replied, trying to sound equally as curt but finding that she sounded like a breathy porn star with a name like Dazzle McQueen who had come from a broken home but had really found comfort in making porn movies.

"I need to talk to you," he said, settling himself against a wall.

"Really? Because I thought we were just going to stare at each other," Hermione said, sounding incredibly sarcastic and a lot less like a breathy porn star.

He glared at her. "As much as I hate to admit this, I miss you."

"Oh really?" Hermione asked, cocking an eyebrow and trying to act as if she hadn't been dreaming of him for the past week.

He rolled his eyes at her. "You're taking great pleasure in this, aren't you?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Maybe because you have a confession coming as well?"

"Are you that pompous? Can't you just assume that I do fine without you?"

"No."

She looked at him for a few moments. "I have to go. This was pointless."

"You are the stupidest smart person I've ever met," he said, shaking his head at her.

"Oh," she began angrily, "And why is that?"

"If you leave now, which would be incredibly stupid- hence the stupid bit- then you'd be giving me up. We can't just dance around each other for the rest of the year, Granger. It'll drive us both insasne."

"I think I'll be over you by then," she replied, feeling a little ridiculous.

"Ha!" He exploded, stepping towards her. "So you admit that you're not over me right now?"

"Honestly?" She asked softly.

"Honestly," he replied, face softening.

"You piss me off! You are the most arrogant, egotistical prat I have ever met in my entire life. For a long time, you treated me like shit. Now you can't even get out of my head. In short, honestly, I haven't been able to get you out of my head for the past week, and it's killing me." She looked up at him and said calmly "So now I have to kill you."

"I beg your pardon?" He said, stepping back and looking astonished.

"Well, it really is the only logical solution," she replied easily, voice sounding incredibly reasonable.

"Granger," he growled, stepping closer once again, "I have half a mind to kill you."

"Me?" She asked, looking shocked.

"Yes you. I haven't slept, I haven't been able to concentrate, I-"

"You suffer from anhedonia?"

"I- what?" He asked, blinking at her slowly. "Did the readers even know what that meant?"

"I doubt it." There were a few moments of silence. "Look Malfoy, I'll be over you in a week- we've established that. What was the point of calling me here tonight?"

"Actually, I completely forgot about that." Then he stepped forward and kissed her.

It was, by all means, one of the most beautiful kisses that the Potions classroom had ever seen. Not that it had seen very many of them, to be perfectly truthful, but it was one of those kisses that the portraits would talk about for years and the fanfiction authors would love to describe if they were actually any good at describing passionate kisses.

"Well, that was a pretty pointless surprise," Hermione said, once again sounding breathy.

He smirked at her. "You wish you could say that in total honesty."

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Maybe I can."

He gave a small snort of disbelief. She stared at him. They grinned at each other, looking silly.

"I believe, my dear Hermione Granger, that we have come to an impasse."

"Mr. Malfoy, I believe you're right."

"And so I pose the question: Where do we go from here?"

"Well, Draco…" Hermione began, and then made a face. He looked down at her amusedly.

"Doesn't work, does it?" He asked sympathetically. She shook her head furtively.

"Oh look, another impasse."

"Maybe the dance was a good idea," he commented wryly.

"Hannah," Hermione said at breakfast the next morning. "I have a problem."

Hannah gave a small noise that sounded like a snort. "When have you ever not had problems?"

"I beg your pardon?" Hermione asked, taken aback.

Hannah heaved a great sigh and sat up straight. "First it was the problem of how stupid the auction was, then it was whether or not you were going to bid, and then on who. Then there was Harry, being madly in like with Draco Malfoy, PEZ, and driving yourself absolutely mad. For the past week you have been acting like you're on drugs or something, and so you have never had a shortage of problems."

Hermione was, by this point, a deep crimson. And unfortunately for her, most of the Great Hall had fallen silent to listen to Hannah's speech. Draco Malfoy wasn't sure whether to smirk, look amused, or be as horrified as Hermione. Hannah looked around the Great Hall, grinned, and went back to eating her breakfast.

Hermione had half a mind to kill her too.

She got up, grabbed a scone and stomped out of the Great Hall.

"PEZ?" Came the first hushed whisper. This, in turn, led to many more hushed whispers which seemed to spread through the Great Hall like a virus.

"Hermione Granger on drugs?"

"The auction wasn't stupid!"

"What about Harry?"

"What the hell does madly in like mean?" Came the incredulous voice of Blaise Zabini, turning to his friend and looking, well, incredulous.

Draco Malfoy sighed. He was going to kill Hannah Abbot.

A/N: I really love Hannah. She's loads of fun to write. Blaise is also fun to write….Maybe they can get together. Hmmmm….Opinions? Anyways, there will be more Harry in the next chapter, and maybe more Ron, if I can figure him in. Reviews are appreciate, if you had any favourite lines- well, you know how I am about them.