A/N: Going ahead with the whole Blaise/Hannah thing, just to be different.
"Hannah," said a rather pleasant masculine voice. At any other point in her life, the voice would probably have excited her and made her incredibly hopeful. However, because of her display in the Great Hall, she was pretty sure the tall blonde who the voice belonged to had no intentions of taking her to a beach on some far off island and kissing her passionately while the sun slowly died down behind them.
At least, she was pretty sure Malfoy didn't feel that way about her. If he did, of course, they'd have many, many more problems….
"Abbot? You there?" Asked another voice, slightly less pleasant and much more annoying.
"What?" She asked irritably, spinning around and coming face-to-face with Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini.
"I'm going to kill you!" Growled Malfoy, attempting to lunge at her. Hannah was beginning to brace herself for the impact when she saw that Blaise was, quite coolly, holding Malfoy back.
"Thank you," she breathed in relief.
Blaise shrugged and gave her a little grin. "He gets like this when he doesn't take his medication."
"OK, scratch that," Malfoy started, "I'm going to kill both of you."
Hannah grinned at the black-haired boy appreciatively. Just then, Hermione stormed up. She looked at Malfoy. She blushed slightly. She looked at Blaise. She looked bemused. She turned to Hannah.
"I am going to kill you!" She growled, but she didn't make any attempt to hurt her friend like her counterpart had.
Blaise began laughing so hard he lost his hold on Malfoy, which resulted in a scuffle between Hannah and Malfoy that lasted about two seconds- the time it took for Hermione to grab Malfoy.
"Stop being such a childish prat," she began, rolling her eyes. "Now Hannah," she continued, "I'd like to know what you're doing flirting with Blaise when you were madly in like with Will a week ago."
"No, no my dear Hermione," Hannah replied with a smirk, "Madly in like was your thing." This sent Blaise into another round of laughter, which caused Malfoy to lunge at him. Hermione calmly grabbed the back of his robes.
"Really, you're being quite violent today," Hermione said to Malfoy.
"You said you wanted to kill her as well!" He protested loudly.
"Well yes," Hermione said with an eye roll, "But I'd be much sneakier."
"How very Slytherin of you," Blaise commented wryly.
"You know, I'd kind of appreciate it if we could get off the topic of killing me?" Hannah suggested tentatively.
"You didn't answer about William," Hermione stated matter-of-factly.
"Why should I?" Hannah asked defiantly, crossing her arms over chest.
"And when did we become five again?" Malfoy asked, sneering in her general direction.
"Give her a break, old chap," Blaise said, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Zabini," Malfoy began dangerously, "Get your hand off my shoulder."
"Touchy," Blaise responded mockingly.
"No, you are," came Malfoy's cutting reply. Hannah grinned again.
"Hannah, we've got to go; I need to have a chat with Harry. Unless, of course, you'd like to stay here and discuss your love life with Blaise and Malfoy," Hermione said.
"Are you ever going to call him Draco?" Hannah asked as the two set off down the hall.
"Not until hell freezes over, my dear lady," Blaise said good-naturedly, answering on Hermione's behalf. (Hermione, for her part, didn't know whether to be irritated at his butting in or amused by the way he and Hannah acted. In the end she went for a strange mixture of the two, but because she didn't have Harry's amazing emotion mixing abilities, she didn't really pull it off and ended up looking a little odd.)
"Oh, come on you idiot," Malfoy said with an eye roll before dragging Blaise off down the hallway.
"You know," Blaise began, "The way you two are acting around each other is very typical teenager."
"Right," Malfoy said with yet another eye roll, "And you and Abbott aren't ten times worse."
"If you roll your eyes too much, they'll get stuck that way," Blaise chided, reverting back to his grandmother voice.
Malfoy stifled another eye roll and continued on as if the dark-haired boy hadn't spoken. "I mean, a Hufflepuff?"
"Yes well… I can't figure if it's worse than a Gryffindor or not."
"We could always put it up to general poll on the house bulletin board."
Blaise grinned. "First, I will never get over the fact that we, all-mighty Slytherin house, have a bulletin board, and two, if we did, we'd be murdered alive."
"Well you can't really be murdered any other way, now can you?"
"Oh, stuff it," Blaise replied cheerfully.
"Hannah, a Slytherin?"
Hannah gave another one of her almost-snorts. "This coming from you, of all people?"
"I haven't been flirting shamelessly with a Slytherin," Hermione stated, looking incredibly pompous.
"No, of course not- it was one-sided flirting."
"Hannah, your problem is that you never know when to shut up."
"Hermione, your problem is- no, wait, we've been over this- you have too many to count," she said with an evil smirk.
"Well you went out with a jackass," Hermione replied, floundering for a come-back.
"And what do we classify Malfoy as?"
"Well what's Blaise then? I mean, other than incredibly annoying?"
"Oh, stuff it," Hannah replied genially.
Hermione knocked curtly on the door to the boy's dorm. Ron answered it.
"Ron?" Hermione asked, surprised. "I thought I was going to be meeting with just Harry."
"Yes, well, the readers thought there was a serious lack of Ron-ness, so-"
"Ron-ness?"
"Oh, just come in," Ron replied grudgingly. Harry was sitting on the bed and looking a little confused, anxious, and terrified all at once. (Master of Mixed Emotions.)
"Harry, what's wrong?"
Harry breathed in deeply. "Hermione, I'm gay."
"I know."
"WHAT?" Ron howled.
"You see?" Hermione asked, shaking her head. "This is exactly why there was a lack of Ron-ness."
"And I'm in love with Draco Malfoy."
"WHAT?" Ron yelled.
"WHAT?" Hermione agreed.
"Just kidding."
"I was this close to killing him," Hermione told Hannah later.
"That's about how close you were to killing me as well."
"Point?"
Hannah shrugged. "Just an observation."
"Where are we sitting? Your table or mine?"
Hannah smirked. Hermione became increasingly worried. "Let's sit with the Slytherins."
"Why?"
"Well, you're madly in like with Malfoy and Blaise is nice-" Hermione snorted. "And we would completely freak them out. Again."
"Oh, right, while we're at it why don't we each have a nice snogging session as well? Really send the school into total chaos?" Hermione replied sarcastically, but they were already walking over to the Slytherin table.
"Well, I wouldn't say no," Hannah replied with a grin.
A/N: I have reached a point where I don't know where I'm going with this story. Suggestions are welcome. In fact, I might just do an entire "Suggestions" chapter. That'd be fun. I'm also thinking of doing a "Musical" chapter, where people randomly break out into songs that may or may not have anything to do with the actual topic of the conversation.