A/N: You will note that the chapter title says "Music." This is the shortened version of "The Chapter of Obscure Music References."
"Hannah is inclined to have a nice, long snogging session with you, Zabini," Hermione said as she and Hannah placed themselves across from Malfoy and Blaise. As Hannah coloured Hermione put on a thoughtful look. "Well, she could have meant you, Malfoy, but…"
"But you wouldn't have let her touch him, now would you?" Blaise asked calmly, smirking ever so slightly, and making Hannah feel incredibly grateful.
If the Slytherin table had not already fallen silent as soon as the Hufflepuff and the Gryffindor has sat down at their table, the brief conversation that had followed would have done it. There was silence in the Great Hall. Then there were many, many whispers.
"I dunno, do you think they've noticed we're here?" Hannah asked wryly, looking down the table.
"Oh, they noticed all right," Blaise replied with a grin.
"Malfoy, what's wrong? You haven't made any attempts at being witty yet," Hermione asked as she grabbed a bread roll.
"This is wrong, Granger. Sick and wrong," he whispered harshly.
"It'sjusta bread roll," Hermione replied, eyebrows raised and a small smile forming on her lips. Blaise and Hannah burst out laughing.
"You know what I mean," Malfoy continued, voice just as harsh and just as quiet.
"Well I didn't think her hair was that bad today, D," Blaise said, grinning at Hermione. Hermione, once again, had no idea how to react to him. Hannah, on the other hand, knew exactly how to react: she shot him a grin to match his own. "Look on the bright side," he continued in his usual mocking and bemused voice, "We can party like it's 1999."
Hannah shot him a look. "I'm not even going to ask how you know that."
"Know what?" Blaise responded innocently before turning back to his dinner.
"You're not helping," Malfoy told his friend indignantly.
"And I wasn't trying to," Blaise replied with a smirk.
"Mr. Malfoy," began a cold voice from behind Malfoy and Blaise. Hermione looked up to see Snape and couldn't decide whether to be frightened or amused. Malfoy just went with frightened.
"Yes Professor?" He said, turning slowly and trying not to gulp as if he were afraid. (Malfoys, as you know, are not easily frightened.)
"This is unacceptable, Mr. Malfoy. There are reasons for the tables to be divided, and I simply will not stand for both a Gryffindor and a Hufflepuff at my house's table." He finished looking icy, and then added "And it's sick and wrong, Mr. Malfoy. Sick and wrong."
Hermione couldn't help it. She burst out laughing. Blaise had already been sniggering quietly behind his napkin and Hannah was a rather odd shade of purple from trying not to laugh. Malfoy wasn't sure what to do. He was perplexed. Snape was….Actually, it was hard to tell. He obviously hadn't meant to be funny.
"Is there ever a second thought, that slips on through their mind, that this is sick and wrong, that this is so unkind?" Hermione asked, and Hannah grinned at her. Blaise grinned as well, recognizing that she was quoting something and guessing that it was probably an obscure music reference.
"Surprisingly appropriate lyrics, Granger," Blaise commented.
"Why thank you," she replied in a pleasant voice. Snape watched the scene before him. A terrified Draco Malfoy, a muggle music quoting Hermione Granger, a bemused Hannah Abbott and the same old Blaise Zabini.
"I don't know what to think and you can tell if we're dreaming," Snape replied in clipped tones, and Hermione looked frightened as he walked off.
"That was…." Hannah began.
"A Hanson reference, right?" Blaise finished for her.
Hermione nodded grimly. "I don't even want to know!"
"Hanson?" Malfoy questioned, deciding he would stop observing and go back to being his usual witty self.
"Only the world's biggest boy band of all time!" Hermione cried, calling more people to stare at her than before.
"Granger, breathe," Blaise said slowly, while Hannah patted her friend's back sympathetically.
Malfoy stared at them all. "I think I'm missing something here…."
Later Blaise and Malfoy were having one of those Blaise-and-Malfoy conversations.
"Malfoy, I think you should consider these lyrics: For a moment the world turns its back, and you let me come closer, though the hearts were filled with fear, for this dark secret love."
Malfoy stared at his friend. He looked nervously behind him. "And here I was thinking you liked Abbott," he replied, trying to be sarcastic but still sounding rather terrified.
Blaise stared at his friend. Blaise rolled his eyes. "I meant about you and Granger, dolt. Honestly, me, love you? You're a prat, you're arrogant, pompous-"
"And you sound like Granger," Malfoy broke in. He looked thoughtful for a few moments. "You know, maybe you do love me. It would make sense…"
Blaise gave a small snort of disbelief. Putting on his gay voice he asked "Do I honestly seem that transparent?" Malfoy gave a rare laugh. "Anyways dear," Blaise continued, opting for a school-counselor voice, "If you need to have an illicit relationship with this young lady, please use protection. We wouldn't want any-" He looked conspiratorially around the common room before continuing "Unwanted problems." This earned him another laugh.
Shaking his head, Blaise turned to the bulletin board, grinning just at the thought of it. One piece of paper caught his eye. "Hey D-unit, check it out," he said pointing and sounding sort of surfer/prep and sort of gangster. Malfoy walked over to the bulletin board. A large, pink, and scented piece of paper read
'Draco Malfoy is in love with Hermione Granger. Or, should we say, madly in like?'
Malfoy stared blankly at the piece of paper. Then he turned to Blaise.
"What am I going to do?" He screeched, sounding very un-Malfoy-like.
Blaise rolled his eyes and grabbed a piece of parchment and nearby ink well from one of the tables. On it he wrote
'Pansy Parkinson has no life, and therefore needs to point out the obvious about her fellow classmates.' He then added an arrow pointing to Pansy's paper and pinned it on the bulletin board.
"Happy?" He asked Malfoy.
"I'm not obvious," Malfoy replied.
Blaise gave another snort. "Right. You're just accidentally on purpose in love."
Malfoy couldn't decide to agree or glare.
Hannah and Hermione were having one of those Hannah-and-Hermione conversations.
"Eventually you'll just make out with him for a good long while and that'll do it," Hannah commented distractedly.
"Stop dreaming about Blaise!"
"OK, fine, we'll focus on you. He's your dirty little secret you know," Hannah said, turning her full attention to her friend.
"I know," Hermione said remorsefully.
"And this is a bad thing?" Hannah asked.
"….Just another regret…." Hermione said softly, and Hannah finally understood.
"I see," she said. "Afraid of rejection? Hoping he was thinking of you?"
"No. Not really. Sort of. Maybe. Kinda. Yes. But could we please stop with the obscure music references?"
"I don't know. I think they add something," Hannah said, smirking at her friend's distaste.
"Shut up," Hermione replied genially.
That Night, at Dinner: Slytherin Table
"You're back," Malfoy hissed.
"Captain Obvious called," Blaise began with an eye roll. "He wants his cape back."
Malfoy took a moment out of glaring at Hermione to glare at Blaise.
"Blaise," Hannah began, "Wanna go snog in a closet?"
"I thought you'd never ask," he replied jovially before following her out of the hall.
Hermione looked after them thoughtfully. "You know, if I wasn't sure of how infatuated they were with each other, I'd think that was an attempt at getting us alone."
"Captain Obvious called…" Malfoy began, and Hermione glowered at him.
"Malfoy, what are we doing?"
"Eating," he replied. "Or did that question have some heading meaning?" More glowering. He sighed. "Granger, I don't know. You're you and that's great but I-"
"Can't. Because I'm a Gryffindor, we're too different, whatever."
"Essentially."
"Is this the speech you planned for this? The inevitable 'What are we, exactly?' question, and all you have to say is 'I don't know'?" Her eyes, much to her anger and his guilt, began to well up with tears. "Funny, in the chick flicks the answers were always so much more romantic." And with that, she left the great hall.
Draco Malfoy sat in his bed and stared at the ceiling. It was an odd sense of de ja vu, and he had a quick image of paints before attempting to sleep once more. Slipping his hand under his pillow, he found a package of PEZ. He stared at the small foil package before popping a few into his mouth and going back to staring at the ceiling.
Shot down -it's just such a shame; I'm losing at this game. No fair! Why don't you seem to care? Lack of consequence has got me making decisions based upon truth or dare decision making," he mumbled to himself, falling asleep with visions of books and PEZ and obscure music references dancing through his head.
A/N: Wow, huge disclaimer to do before I beg you for reviews (including fav lines.) OK, so all songs and artists referred to in this chapter, hopefully in order:
"1999" Prince
"Suggestion Box" MXPX
"I Don't Know" Hanson
"Accidentally in Love" –many different artists
"Dirty Little Secret" All-American Rejects
"2 U" Mary J. Blige
"Oh, Goddamnit" Hot Hot Heat
Please note that I am not fans of all of these artists- the lyrics just worked. (For instance, I do not worship Hanson, never have, and probably never will.)