I just got back from a trip to Europe, and so I naturally had to take a plane there and back. One flight happened to be one that went on overnight. Naturally, that gave me inspiration for another crazy awesome chapter of WOWA.
I would like to thank the nice food at business class for this breakthrough in...Wraithes on Wings...stuff...yeeeaaaah...
It was eight in the evening, and the Wraithes on Wings plane was now boarding. All of its previous flights were always short, usually about a couple of hours long. But this one flight was special: It was flying to Tethe'alla, and it would take about twelve hours to get there. For some reason, all the usual people felt like flying to Tethe'alla. Which is odd, since none of them even know where it is. Oh well.
"WAHOO! I GOT FIRST CLASS!" yelled Aragorn, being out of character. Like everyone else in this fic, but oh well.
"NO WAY! ME TOO!" yelled Gandalf.
The happy expression on Aragorns face drooped into a look of utter despair and horror. He ran into first class screaming; a really stupid move considering that Gandalf was going in there too, but oh well.
Unfortunately for him, no one else that was important had obtained first class. But they were close by in business class, lounging about, doing nothing.
Suddenly, Bunny Hooded Bombchu jumped up, yelling. "WOOHOO! I'M STAYING UP ALL NIGHT! Who's with me!"
No one really cared. But they were amused when BHB fell asleep ten minutes later.
"Well, at least that ends the self-insertion in this chapter." muttered Sam, who was sitting next to Frodo as always.
"Yup, this really is one heck of a different chapter then all the rest." said Frodo. "I mean, this flight is twelve hours, so the chapter should be like, a squillion pages."
"Yup. And, we're in business class. And the budget cuts have been getting a little better, so there's actually a movie playing instead of some middle schoolers with instruments."
Meanwhile, deep in the forests of Austria, the band in question (minus BHB) were practicing, and had just finished going through 'Rock this Town'.
"Ok, that was good, let's try it one more time." said the Band Director Guy.
"Mr. Band Director Guy, I don't think I can take that again." complained that tenor guy. "My lips really hurt."
There were many sarcastic responses to this. "Aw...poor baby." "Need a hug?" "Want me to kiss it for you?" said some other trumpet player.
"Look, that tenor guy." said Mr. Band Director Guy. "Look at the random bass player. He gets blisters all over his fingers that explode all over his bass every minute and it gets everywhere! But he never complains."
"Mr. Band Director Guy, some other trumpet player is throwing his skin at me." complained the random bass player.
"What?"
Back on the plane.
"Yeah. Hey, we're almost one and a half pages long." Sam said, looking ahead of him.
"Wow. Already? There seems to be something missing..."
"Like what, Mr. Frodo?"
"Like...ugh, I know this...Heh. I guess I'm not sure."
Meanwhile, a couple of seats back, Pippin and Merry were...reading books. Yeah.
"Ok, now I know what's missing." said Frodo, stealing BHBs cd player and checking the cd. "Oh man. The Moulin Rouge 2 soundtrack. You know what that means."
"No we don't." said everyone.
"It means she's listening to Bolero over and over again. Bolero is what she listens to when she's focusing on Guru un Iorek, her D&D fic. Have you noticed that nothing crazy has been going on?"
"So?"
"THAT'S what's missing. The insanity! Sure, we all act stupid like we usually do, but usually something insane happens to help us out!"
"So? That means that the plane won't explode." said everyone.
"...Oh yeah...The insane thing usually makes the plane blow up." said Frodo. He grinned. "Awesome."
"Actually," started Merry. "I can think of something insane happening. What if BHB gets lazy and throws in her favorite plot device?"
"What plot device?" asked Frodo.
Suddenly, right on cue, Hedgewife Myrtle the Punisher leapt in through the window and started throwing paper clips at everyone.
"Oh yeah...THAT plot device. Forgot about her."
"EAT PAPERCLIPPY DEATH!" screamed Myrtle the Punisher.
All the passengers sat there, trying to ignore the insane hedgehog.
Meanwhile in first class...
"-and then he was all 'Noooo, the palentir's PERFECTLY safe', and I'm like, 'Dude, no it's not, get over it!"
Aragorn leaned forward in his seat, clutching his head. "Oh. My. God. SHUT UP. Please..."
Gandalf just got angry and started ranting more. "Shut up? My GOD, you young'uns have NO respect! Back in my day, we spontaneously combusted if we even LOOKED at an adult! Everywhere ya look, there were little kids ON FIRE!"
"Ok, THAT'S IT!" Aragorn stood up, drew his sword, and looked at Gandalf menacingly. "This is gonna hurt you a WHOLE LOT more then it'll hurt me!" He raised his sword and was just about to bring it down upon Gandalfs head, when the Security Wraith intervened and took away Aragorns weapon. But he didn't arrest him, 'cause Aragorns cool like that.
And so Aragorn sat down and thought for a few seconds. Then he had an idea. An amazing idea that would solve all of his problems.
Meanwhile in Business Class...
"Man, Pippin, I'm bored." said Merry, utterly oblivious to the paperclippy death that was raining down on him as well as everyone else.
"I know, I am too." said Pippin.
"Ya know what this means?"
"I think so..."
"DDR PARTY!" they yelled in unison. So they started playing DDR. Yes, they actually had enough room to do that. Business class is cool like that.
But beyond business class was the forgotten realm of Second Class! Well, not completely forgotten. Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, etc. had always sat in second class in the first four chapters. Now it was empty except for one shadowed figure in row 217 (BUM BUM BUM!) who sat there, slumped over in sleep. Suddenly, it came awake with a jerk.
There was a pause.
"I feel a disturbance in the force." it said.
Back in business class, Myrtle was STILL throwing paperclips at everyone, which was getting really old.
"Some plot device..." sighed Frodo. He looked towards BHB who was snoring loudly. "Maybe we should wake her up? It might not help much, but..."
"No, I think Myrtle will leave on her own." said Sam. "She must be getting bored of this."
Sure enough, Myrtle suddenly burst into flame and flew away. Everyone was soon bored again. Except for Merry and Pippin, cuz they're cool like that. Then suddenly, BHB woke up. "I feel a disturbance in the insanity...Where'd Myrtle go?"
"No idea." said everyone.
"Huh. Ok, see ya later. Hafta go find her before she enslaves humanity. Be back in an hour!" And with that, BHB snapped her fingers and disappeared.
"Ok..." said Frodo. "I'm bored."
"Good for you." said everyone.
"I've been thinking..." began Sam.
"Good for you." said everyone.
"Shut up, this is important! Ya know how Merry and Pippin were playing DDR? Well, they were doing it a few rows back, and they're not there anymore. Where'd they go?"
Frodo looked around. "Good question. Wait...Gandalf and Aragorn are in first class, BHB's gone to find Myrtle, and Merry and Pippin are missing. We're the only ones here."
"Oh." said everyone. Meaning Sam.
"Huh. This is weird Mr. Frodo."
"Yeah it is."
To be continued...
WILL ARAGORN KILL GANDALF?
WHERE'S MERRY AND PIPPIN?
WHO'S THE CREEPY GUY IN SECOND CLASS?
WHERE DID MYRTLE END UP?
DID BHB FIND HER?
WHY HASN'T BHB PUT IN MORE AUTHOR CAMEOS? (I really should...Good news for you, Leaviel.)
WHY IS THE SKY BLUE?
WHY HASN'T THE PLANE EXPLODED YET?
Find the answers to these questions and more in the next crap filled chapter of Wraithes on Wings!
A/N: Yeah, I'm trying something a little different...y'know, adding some sort of plot. Next chapter is the conclusion (meaning a nice big explosion at the end), and after that, the chapters will return to normal. Tis an experiment. Tell me what you think! Be honest! YAY!