BHB: Ok, now for the exciting conclusion of--
Frodo: Er...Bunny Hooded Bombchu, there's a problem...
BHB: What?
Frodo: It's Christmas.
BHB: ...Yes...yes it is...And...?
Frodo: Well, we want to...y'know...fly home and celebrate with our families and stuff.
BHB: That's so sweet...too bad.
Frodo: ...(his head explodes)
BHB: o.O;;; Ok, ok, FINE! Sorry, people waiting for the exciting conclusion, but it's Christmas and that calls for a Festive Interlude.
Frodo: Festive Interlude? Is THAT what you're calling it? That's the stupidest---
BHB: AHH! ZOMBIE! (runs away)
It was Christmas Eve, and everyone was all happy and stuff. It was snowing as well. That was nice. Yay. Frodo, Gandalf, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, and Sam were taking a plane to Middle Earth so they could celebrate at home and stuff. Stupid move. It's Christmas Eve. Don't you think that's a little late?
"Shut up, we're lazy," said everyone.
"Except for me." said BHB. "I'm the one writing."
Everyone looked at her. "We know. No one cares."
"Blarg."
"Y'know Pippin, this time of year calls for...FINAL FANTASY CRYSTAL CHRONICLES!" yelled Merry, hooking up the Gamecube to a TV that was conveniently there.
"OH BOY!" yelled Pippin, grabbing a controller.
"Back in my day, we didn't have Christmas...In fact, we didn't have much of anything." started Gandalf, droning on as usual.
Aragorn looked at him, and hugged him. "Gandalf, it being Christmas, I will accept the fact that you are a senile old man and nothing I do or say will get you to stop. So, for tonight, I shall endure this in hopes that you might one day accept the fact that I, nor anyone else, really cares what you have to say about anything."
"Like that'll happen," said everyone else.
"Shut up. So, Merry Christmas Gandalf."
There was a pause as Gandalf processed all of this. "So...You're trying to come on to me, right?"
Aragorn stared at him, and walked away so he could sit somewhere else.
"He was SO trying to come on to me!"
Meanwhile on some other part of the plane...like two or three seats up actually...
Frodo: IT'S CHRISTMAS! LET'S GET DRUNK!
Sam looked at him, shocked. "Holy pie, you're speaking in SCRIPT! That's forbidden!"
Frodo: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! We must break FREE of these shackles; They are only holding us back!
"You must excuse him, he gets like that when he's drunk." said Gollum, who was conveniently there. "Starts speaking in script, ya know?"
Sam looked at him, surprised. "Oh. Gollum. Uh...Merry Christmas."
"I'm Jewish."
"...Oh."
Frodo: LET US REBEL AGAINST TEH--(passes out)
They both stared at him. Right about then, one of the Ringwraithe workers passed by.
"Merry Christmas." said Sam.
"The Wraithes celebrate Kwanzaa."
"...Oh. Interesting."
Meanwhile...
"Ok, I'm bored." said BHB.
"But it's CHRISTMAS!" said everyone.
"True, true, but the plane is missing something. ...Ya know what we need? We need some guy to randomly run in with a scimitar and stab someone."
"That's unoriginal."
"Huh?"
"I've seen that before." said Frodo.
"Yeah, me too." said Aragorn.
"Oh...Well...we can just get--"
Frodo: SANTA?
"Uh...Sure. Ok then." BHB then snapped her fingers...or attempted to anyway...and the jolly fat man known as Santa burst through the door to first class. "HO HO HO!" He then ripped off his mask to reveal that he was Hedgewife Myrtle the Punisher.
Frodo: MY DREAMS HAVE BEEN RIPPED TO SHREDS!
"Really BHB, do you ALWAYS have to drag in Myrtle?" asked Sam, groaning.
"Yes...Yes I do."
"Why?" asked everyone.
"Uh...um...er...LOOK BEHIND YOU! IT'S A THREE HEADED MONKEY!" BHB yelled, then proceeded to jump out a nearby window, despite the fact that no one turned to see the imaginary three headed monkey in the first place.
"I think she's lost the gift." said Frodo.
Meanwhile in Venice...
"Ouch." said BHBs Pride.
Meanwhile on the plane...
Frodo: WELL THEN LET'S THROW A HOLIDAY PARTY!
"BOYCOTT!" said the oppressive Christians.
Frodo: Uh...A HOLIDAY CHRISTMAS PARTY!
"Oh. Ok then." said the oppressive Christians.
Frodo: ...Who said you guys were invited? Go away.
"Aw..."
Frodo: Like I said...A HOLIDAY PARTY!
"Yay!" said everyone.
"Who's up for DDR?" yelled Merry and Pippin.
Frodo: Who cares? LET'S ALL GET DRUNK!
"YEAH!" said some people.
"In MY day, we didn't have beer! We had October Ale and it was pretty freakin' sweet." said Gandalf. "We made it out of wood chips, bugs and human blood!"
Half the people spat out what they were drinking. "Gandalf, SHUT UP!"
"SANTA!" cried the little kids that were randomly there. They all ran to Gandalf and clung to his legs. "WE LOVE YOU SANTA!"
"Hello?" said Myrtle, standing there in the Santa suit (sans mask) and waving her arms around. "It's a trick, children! I'm the real Santa!"
"Dude, no you're not." said a Mole Dibbun (for the Redwall deprived, it means a baby mole).
"Foolish mortals..." said BHB in the corner (yeah she came back). "There is only one real Santa...and that is Santa Gackt."
"..." said everyone.
"..." said BHB.
"..."
"...Someone get these stupid kids off me!" yelled Gandalf. "In my day, we didn't have these things happen! Kids were kept in the basement under lock and key until we considered them fat enough to eat! And then we feasted like kings!"
All the kids stared at him in horror, then ran away.
"That was smart." said Sam. "Heheheh. Eating kids, huh?"
Gandalf looked at him. "What, you think I'm kidding? I'm serious!"
"Sure..." Sam laughed.
"No. Realy. I'm dead serious."
"THIS FIC NEEDS MORE TREEBEARD!" yelled Hedgewife Myrtle the Punisher.
And right on cue, Treebeard fell through the ceiling. "Hi everyone!"
Everyone ran up to hug Treebeard. Cuz everyone loves Treebeard. "Yay, it's Treebeard!"
Just then, the Ringwraithe Pilot Dude burst through the door. "YOU IDIOTS! THAT'S THE CEILING HE FELL THROUGH! THAT'S BAD!"
"What, you mean it's over?" asked BHB, scratching her head confusedly.
"But I just got here!" said Treebeard.
"Sorry Treebeard, but there's always the Valentines Special. That won't exist."
Frodo: I think what BHBs trying to say, is that Christmas isn't about getting new stuff...it's about being drunk with your loved ones!
"...Close enough." said everyone.
AND THE PLANE EXPLODED IN A BLAST OF FIERY FIRE!
Frodo: Wait, the plane explodes after a hole in the ceiling?
BHB: Shut up.