MWPP meets PoA
Chapter 1 Having four bored, teenage boys in your house is not a good thing, especially when those boys' names are James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Mrs. Potter was about ready to kill the founders of that new joke shop... what is it called again? Oh, right, Zonkos, for the large number of magical pranks she had been through since James' friends had arrived.
"Mum!" her teenage daughter Jessica screamed, "Tell James and his immature little friends to leave me alone!"
"Aww, Mrs. Potter! How were we to know that Jessica doesn't like to wash her face with frog spawn?" Sirius yelled in response.
"You four had best find something to do, other than causing chaos, or I will send you off to work with the house elfs!" threatened Mrs. Potter. She got a jumble of "yes Mrs. Potter" and "yes ma'am" in return.
"So, what do we do now?" James inquired of his three friends.
"I dunno," Sirius replied dropping into a chair. "I wish we had something to do, I mean, there is always something to do at Hogwarts." Almost as if it was in reply to Sirius' wish, a book materialized on James' desk. Remus, who was sitting at the desk, picked up the book and looked at the cover.
"Watcha looking at Moony?" Peter asked him.
"Well, you see Peter, it's called a book," Remus teased. "You open it and read what is written on the pages inside. And at school, you use them for something called studying, which is-" he was interrupted by James.
"Thank you Professor Lupin! I think what our dear friend Mr. Wormtail meant was, what is the title of the book?" Remus glanced at the title for the first time. A slight look of astonishment crossed his face, he glanced at James before replying.
"The title is," he said slowly, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."
"Azkaban!" Peter exclaimed, "As in Azkaban the prison?"
"No Peter," James replied sarcastically, "Azkaban the resort!"
"Oh, I- hang on..." Peter replied confused. The other three boys collapsed in laughter, joined shortly after by Peter.
After a few moments they were able to stop laughing, Sirius looked at the book that Remus had dropped.
"Harry Potter," he thought out loud. "Potter...Oy, James!" Sirius held up the book, "This Harry guy has to be related to you!"
"He can't be," said Remus, taking the book from Sirius and opening it to the copyright page. "It's a muggle book."
"It may be a muggle book," Sirius began stubbornly, "but five galleons says that Harry is related to James. I mean, these muggles know about Azkaban... it's not fiction Moony!"
"You're on Padfoot! Five galleons it is fiction!" Remus replied confidently.
"It is not fiction!" Sirius protested.
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Guys!" James interrupted their bickering, "There is only one way to find out... let's read the book!"
"Yea!" Peter chimed in, "Let's read the book!"
"Ooh! I'll read it out loud!" Sirius said, receiving a groan from the other three.
"If you read it," James said, "we will never finish the book!"
"I'll read it," Remus said quickly. James and Sirius both had awful tempers, and when they didn't agree on something, well, it isn't a pretty sight.
"Yes, Professor Lupin!" Sirius said.
"Honestly!" Remus replied flustered, "How many times do I have to tell you, I AM NOT A PROFESSOR!"
"Hmmm... maybe two hundred would work," James sarcastically suggested.
"I am not a professor (one), I am not a professor (two), I am not a professor (three), I am not a professor (four.)"
"Uh, guys," Peter said timidly, "why don't we just read the story?"
"A wonderful idea Wormtail! What do you say Prongsy?" said Sirius cheerfully.
"It's Prongs, Padfoot! But an excellent idea none the less! What do you say, dear Professor Lupin?"
Remus glared at James before replying, "Sure, are you all ready?" Yes was the reply from three very excited teenage boys. "Alright, here we go," Remus said as he opened the book. "Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways."
"Sounds like someone we know," James said, looking at Sirius.
"I'm not unusual, just special," Sirius protested.
"You just keep telling yourself that Padfoot, and maybe it will come true!" James retorted.
"I'm not unusual, just special!"
"If by special you mean an idiot," Peter added, "then you are absolutely right!"
"Hey!" Sirius protested, "I am not an idiot!"
"That's what they all say Sirius, that's what they all say," Remus said to end the argument. "Now, on with the story. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of year."
"What!" Peter exclaimed, "How could you hate the summer holidays?" The other three snorted with laughter.
"Wormtail, wasn't it you who said that 'I wish summer holidays were shorter, they are so boring,' yesterday?" James pointed out.
"Yea, well, I was bored!" Peter tried to explain without making himself look too stupid.
"Right..."
"For another," Remus read, "he really wanted to do his homework-" Sirius gave an odd cough that sounded a lot like Remus.
"Well, at least I won't be the one to fail their O.W.L's," Remus replied as if they had had this conversation many times before. "I actually study!"
"I study!" Sirius protested.
"What? As you are walking to class," Remus argued. "Hate to break it to you Sirius, but that's not studying. Anyway, what's wrong with Harry wanting to do his homework?"
"Someone related to James actually studying!" Sirius exclaimed, "the world must be coming to an end!"
"I heard that!" Jessica shouted from her room.
"Hey Padfoot, I do actually study." James said.
"No! It's a conspiracy! Peter, please tell me you don't study!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically.
"Well, uh, sorry Sirius, but I do," Peter quietly replied.
"Nooooooooo!" Sirius cried dramatically.
"Lets keep reading, Moony," James said, "before any thing else can happen."
"Right, what should we do about Sirius?" Sirius had crowned his shocked performance with a mock heart attack and a real looking fall to the floor.
"Oh, Sirius!" James called out in an annoying singsong voice. "Don't you want to hear about Harry's fascinating study habits? You might be able to learn a few things from him!" At that Sirius jumped up and started chasing James around the room. They ran six laps before Remus called out, "Alright, let's get back to the book now, shall we?"
"Yes Professor Lupin," Sirius said with an evil smile. "How many times, Padfoot," Remus exclaimed, "do I have to tell you-" "Well, you just finished four times out of two hundred," James added. "Alright guys! Remus is not a professor, well, not yet anyway, so can we just get on with the book?" Peter added, trying to be the peacemaker (yet again!) "Right! Where were we?" Remus said as he opened the book. "Sirius, don't say anything, that was a rhetorical question! Ah, ok, he really wanted to do his homework"
"Oddball!" Sirius muttered under his breath
Remus wisely ignored him and continued to read, "but he was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of night." "If you were forced to do your homework in secret," Peter wondered out loud, "why would you even bother doing it?" "Oh, yes, imagine telling that to McGonagall!" Sirius exclaimed, "Hello professor, I couldn't do my homework over the holidays, because I would have had to do it in secret in the dead of night. 'That's no excuse! Twenty points from Gryffindor.' " "But Harry wouldn't have to tell McGonagall, because this is fiction." Remus said, still trying to prove that the book is indeed fiction. "Is not! How many people do you know with the surname Potter?" Sirius protested. "I know four," Remus said calmly, "and none of them are named Harry. Sirius, this is a muggle book, it's fiction." "It's not fiction!" Sirius said stubbornly. "Just because none of the Potters you know are named Harry doesn't mean he can't be real. I mean, he could be James' son or something." "Then why would he be doing is homework in secret in the middle of the night." Remus pointed out. "Because he is James' son." Sirius retaliated. "Hey!" James said angrily, "First, who said he was my son? Second, if he were my son, why would I force him to do his homework in secret? And third, can we please get back to the book?" "Your answers are: Sirius, because you are you, and yes, lets get back to the book." Remus answered. He found their place in the book and read, "And he also happened to be a wizard."
Chapter 1 Having four bored, teenage boys in your house is not a good thing, especially when those boys' names are James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Mrs. Potter was about ready to kill the founders of that new joke shop... what is it called again? Oh, right, Zonkos, for the large number of magical pranks she had been through since James' friends had arrived.
"Mum!" her teenage daughter Jessica screamed, "Tell James and his immature little friends to leave me alone!"
"Aww, Mrs. Potter! How were we to know that Jessica doesn't like to wash her face with frog spawn?" Sirius yelled in response.
"You four had best find something to do, other than causing chaos, or I will send you off to work with the house elfs!" threatened Mrs. Potter. She got a jumble of "yes Mrs. Potter" and "yes ma'am" in return.
"So, what do we do now?" James inquired of his three friends.
"I dunno," Sirius replied dropping into a chair. "I wish we had something to do, I mean, there is always something to do at Hogwarts." Almost as if it was in reply to Sirius' wish, a book materialized on James' desk. Remus, who was sitting at the desk, picked up the book and looked at the cover.
"Watcha looking at Moony?" Peter asked him.
"Well, you see Peter, it's called a book," Remus teased. "You open it and read what is written on the pages inside. And at school, you use them for something called studying, which is-" he was interrupted by James.
"Thank you Professor Lupin! I think what our dear friend Mr. Wormtail meant was, what is the title of the book?" Remus glanced at the title for the first time. A slight look of astonishment crossed his face, he glanced at James before replying.
"The title is," he said slowly, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."
"Azkaban!" Peter exclaimed, "As in Azkaban the prison?"
"No Peter," James replied sarcastically, "Azkaban the resort!"
"Oh, I- hang on..." Peter replied confused. The other three boys collapsed in laughter, joined shortly after by Peter.
After a few moments they were able to stop laughing, Sirius looked at the book that Remus had dropped.
"Harry Potter," he thought out loud. "Potter...Oy, James!" Sirius held up the book, "This Harry guy has to be related to you!"
"He can't be," said Remus, taking the book from Sirius and opening it to the copyright page. "It's a muggle book."
"It may be a muggle book," Sirius began stubbornly, "but five galleons says that Harry is related to James. I mean, these muggles know about Azkaban... it's not fiction Moony!"
"You're on Padfoot! Five galleons it is fiction!" Remus replied confidently.
"It is not fiction!" Sirius protested.
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Guys!" James interrupted their bickering, "There is only one way to find out... let's read the book!"
"Yea!" Peter chimed in, "Let's read the book!"
"Ooh! I'll read it out loud!" Sirius said, receiving a groan from the other three.
"If you read it," James said, "we will never finish the book!"
"I'll read it," Remus said quickly. James and Sirius both had awful tempers, and when they didn't agree on something, well, it isn't a pretty sight.
"Yes, Professor Lupin!" Sirius said.
"Honestly!" Remus replied flustered, "How many times do I have to tell you, I AM NOT A PROFESSOR!"
"Hmmm... maybe two hundred would work," James sarcastically suggested.
"I am not a professor (one), I am not a professor (two), I am not a professor (three), I am not a professor (four.)"
"Uh, guys," Peter said timidly, "why don't we just read the story?"
"A wonderful idea Wormtail! What do you say Prongsy?" said Sirius cheerfully.
"It's Prongs, Padfoot! But an excellent idea none the less! What do you say, dear Professor Lupin?"
Remus glared at James before replying, "Sure, are you all ready?" Yes was the reply from three very excited teenage boys. "Alright, here we go," Remus said as he opened the book. "Harry Potter was a highly unusual boy in many ways."
"Sounds like someone we know," James said, looking at Sirius.
"I'm not unusual, just special," Sirius protested.
"You just keep telling yourself that Padfoot, and maybe it will come true!" James retorted.
"I'm not unusual, just special!"
"If by special you mean an idiot," Peter added, "then you are absolutely right!"
"Hey!" Sirius protested, "I am not an idiot!"
"That's what they all say Sirius, that's what they all say," Remus said to end the argument. "Now, on with the story. For one thing, he hated the summer holidays more than any other time of year."
"What!" Peter exclaimed, "How could you hate the summer holidays?" The other three snorted with laughter.
"Wormtail, wasn't it you who said that 'I wish summer holidays were shorter, they are so boring,' yesterday?" James pointed out.
"Yea, well, I was bored!" Peter tried to explain without making himself look too stupid.
"Right..."
"For another," Remus read, "he really wanted to do his homework-" Sirius gave an odd cough that sounded a lot like Remus.
"Well, at least I won't be the one to fail their O.W.L's," Remus replied as if they had had this conversation many times before. "I actually study!"
"I study!" Sirius protested.
"What? As you are walking to class," Remus argued. "Hate to break it to you Sirius, but that's not studying. Anyway, what's wrong with Harry wanting to do his homework?"
"Someone related to James actually studying!" Sirius exclaimed, "the world must be coming to an end!"
"I heard that!" Jessica shouted from her room.
"Hey Padfoot, I do actually study." James said.
"No! It's a conspiracy! Peter, please tell me you don't study!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically.
"Well, uh, sorry Sirius, but I do," Peter quietly replied.
"Nooooooooo!" Sirius cried dramatically.
"Lets keep reading, Moony," James said, "before any thing else can happen."
"Right, what should we do about Sirius?" Sirius had crowned his shocked performance with a mock heart attack and a real looking fall to the floor.
"Oh, Sirius!" James called out in an annoying singsong voice. "Don't you want to hear about Harry's fascinating study habits? You might be able to learn a few things from him!" At that Sirius jumped up and started chasing James around the room. They ran six laps before Remus called out, "Alright, let's get back to the book now, shall we?"
"Yes Professor Lupin," Sirius said with an evil smile. "How many times, Padfoot," Remus exclaimed, "do I have to tell you-" "Well, you just finished four times out of two hundred," James added. "Alright guys! Remus is not a professor, well, not yet anyway, so can we just get on with the book?" Peter added, trying to be the peacemaker (yet again!) "Right! Where were we?" Remus said as he opened the book. "Sirius, don't say anything, that was a rhetorical question! Ah, ok, he really wanted to do his homework"
"Oddball!" Sirius muttered under his breath
Remus wisely ignored him and continued to read, "but he was forced to do it in secret, in the dead of night." "If you were forced to do your homework in secret," Peter wondered out loud, "why would you even bother doing it?" "Oh, yes, imagine telling that to McGonagall!" Sirius exclaimed, "Hello professor, I couldn't do my homework over the holidays, because I would have had to do it in secret in the dead of night. 'That's no excuse! Twenty points from Gryffindor.' " "But Harry wouldn't have to tell McGonagall, because this is fiction." Remus said, still trying to prove that the book is indeed fiction. "Is not! How many people do you know with the surname Potter?" Sirius protested. "I know four," Remus said calmly, "and none of them are named Harry. Sirius, this is a muggle book, it's fiction." "It's not fiction!" Sirius said stubbornly. "Just because none of the Potters you know are named Harry doesn't mean he can't be real. I mean, he could be James' son or something." "Then why would he be doing is homework in secret in the middle of the night." Remus pointed out. "Because he is James' son." Sirius retaliated. "Hey!" James said angrily, "First, who said he was my son? Second, if he were my son, why would I force him to do his homework in secret? And third, can we please get back to the book?" "Your answers are: Sirius, because you are you, and yes, lets get back to the book." Remus answered. He found their place in the book and read, "And he also happened to be a wizard."