Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.
A/N: Oki now this is the whole fiasco from Harry's POV. If it gets repetitive for you, don't read it but I like to show more than one side to the story, to show how Harry's feeling. So, read on my chums! P.S. thanks be to Jessie for the Apricot! (she knows what I mean)!
Why did I do it? Why did I have to ruin the one thing that was perfect in my life? The words left my mouth before I knew a reason why. Was I afraid of commitment? They say commitment is a man's greatest weakness. I guess they were right. Whatever it was, it hurt her. I saw it in her eyes. I can read her like a book. It hit hard. The guilt I harbour is greater than anyone will ever know. I can't believe I fell into the trap. I disillusioned myself into believing that I didn't love her, but the fact is, I've never loved anyone more. My heart cries out for her. She's all I think about.
"Just do it mate" Ron coaxed me, "How is it going to look if a contestant shows up dateless?"
I breathe in deeply and approach Parvati who is with Lavender and brace myself for the inevitable…giggles.
"Hi Parvati"
The duo giggled faintly. "Great, here we go." I think remorsefully
"Hi Harry, what do you need?" she asked innocently.
"Um well I was wondering, if you don't have a date already, if you would like to..."
"I'd love to" she replied before I could finish, smiling sweetly.
"Great" I manage a smile, "I just need one more favour though."
"What's that?"
"Lavender, would you mind going with Ron to the ball?" I ask.
"Sorry Har', I already have a date." Lavender replied apologetically.
"But he's welcome to go with my twin sister, Padma." Parvati added, "She's a Ravenclaw. I don't think she has a date yet."
"You have a twin sister?" I couldn't help asking, "Uh...I mean, thanks! I'll let him know."
Later that evening.
It's a lonely night by the fire. I can't sleep. My head is swimming with images of Hermione. It's times like these that I remember how we'd sit by the fire and sit in silence, just happy to be in each other's presence…
Flashback
"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" I kiss her cheek gently.
"Yes darling, five minutes ago" she chuckled, "But I never tire of hearing it."
"Cute" I mutter, ruffling her hair playfully.
Silence. I listen to the steady rhythm of her breath. I watch her chest rise and fall evenly. She smells like apricot. She always smells divine. I play gently with her hair, entwining the strands around my fingers. I pay extra care not to hurt her. She's too precious. Her skin is as soft as velvet. I press my lips softly to her cheek again. I feel her shudder. Did I do that?
"You OK sweetheart?" I ask her.
"Yeah. Just a little cold." She replied with a "don't worry" smile.
I wrap my arms around her and pull her closer. I see that the fire has gone out. I guess neither of us were paying attention to what was happening. It didn't matter. When I was with her, the outside world could never hurt me. No matter who was against me. I silently hope she feels the same way.
I look down. She has fallen asleep in my arms. She looks so peaceful. I trace her lips with my fingertips. I kiss her forehead ever so gently. I don't want to wake her.
"I love you," I whisper.
But she never heard me…
End flashback
Love makes a person foolish I guess. I see the spot where we'd sit not that long ago and I realise for the first time that I am alone.
The Day of the Yule Ball
"Harry!" I hear a voice cry out in desperation, which I presume to be Ron.
"Yes Ron?"
"Please help!"
I walk into the dorm to a sight for sore eyes. Ron is attempting to charm the frills of his dress robes.
"Ron, mate." I chuckle, "You're fighting a losing battle.
"Shut up!" he yelled, frustrated.
"Why don't you ask…" I can't go on. Even to utter her name is hurtful.
"Hermione?"
"Uh, yeah" I reply, uncomfortably.
"Can't," he said bluntly.
"Why?"
"We had a disagreement."
That doesn't surprise me, "What was it about this time?"
"We had a fight about who was the enemy, you or Krum. I told her that maybe she should just let things go. She admitted I was right and is now too embarrassed to go near me. That girl hates to be wrong."
"So…she still hates me?"
" 'fraid so mate."
"I can't believe she's going with that creep." I am furious, "He's so transparent. She'll only get hurt…"
Who am I kidding? I'm no better than he is…