Author's Note: Language alert!

OOOOOOO

Ian had two favorite ways to deal with being mad. He beat the hell out of a punching bag, or went for a run. Since the SGC didn't have a running track, the moment he left Hammond's office, he headed for the locker room, and then the gym. It was empty, which was fine with him, and he stood in front of a heavy bag, wrapping his hands and trying to figure out what in the world was going through Hammond's mind.

It had to be a practical joke, Ian thought at first as he slowly began punching the bag, loosening up muscles that were already in top condition. There was no way anyone could possibly expect him to spend a week at a camp. Camp was for people like Shawn – good guys, who liked to be with other people. Shit, for that matter, Hayden would probably love to go to camp. Somebody had to be fucking with him.

The more he thought back to the conversation, though, the more he was sure that Hammond wasn't joking around, though. The General hadn't cracked a single smile, hadn't even looked amused. Ian's punches came a little faster. Hammond actually was going to send him to camp. Could you believe that shit? Camp! What the fuck was he supposed to learn from going to camp? How to make a fire? He knew how to make a fire. It was called a lighter. How to build a teepee? That was going to save the world someday, wasn't it?

He punched the bag, furious, now.

People skills. He had people skills. He had people skills coming out of his ears, for shit's sake. It wasn't his fault that the people at the academy – for the most part – were a bunch of pompous assholes, and it certainly wasn't his fault they were jealous of him. Maybe if they took their heads out of their asses and stopped trying to figure out their pecking order in things, they'd get better grades. Look at Shawn and Hayden. They both made the top of the list, and they got along all right with him.

Sweat was dripping off him, now, but in his anger Ian didn't notice or care. He had half a mind to tell Hammond to go fuck himself – except that would probably get him into a lot of trouble and then he'd probably still end up going to camp. For a month – or for the whole fucking summer. Who knew? And that was if Hammond didn't decide to simply bring him up on charges or something – which would be within his rights, Ian knew. Then he'd get his ass booted out of the academy and there was a whole fucking year down the drain. A year that he could have spent doing something else – but that Ian had to admit had given him several great things in his life that he wouldn't have missed for anything.

Who knew what the next year could bring?

"It could bring another fucking camp…" he muttered aloud, slamming his fist into the bag again.

Or another bunch of people all trailing after him wanting him to heal them, or another System Lord kidnapping him and Sam trying to force them into doing something they had no idea how to do. He felt the anger inside burst, and the next volley of punches were furious and hard, but they did the trick; they exhausted him for the moment. Ian took a deep breath, resting his sweaty forehead against the bag, holding onto it to keep it from swinging around.

The next year could bring him more time with Cassie – even though she wasn't actually going to be there in Colorado. It would see Jake growing a little bigger – maybe even big enough that Ian wouldn't be so nervous around him. It would probably bring some time with Andrew and Shawn and even Hayden – and he was damned certain he was about ready to fix that Asgard problem, even though he was pretty sure the Asgard had no idea he knew about it. That would take some help from Shawn, and Andrew – and maybe Thor – but Ian could see it coming soon.

And all that would go sliding down the toilet if Ian told Hammond to go fuck himself.

"Ian?"

He jerked his head away from the bag, turning at the sound of his name. And saw Sam had joined him without him even realizing it.

"Sam…"

She frowned, and he wondered how long she'd been standing there.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

And immediately he knew she knew he was lying. He didn't even know why he bothered trying, sometimes. Her frown deepened, and he could see genuine worry in her blue eyes.

"It's nothing, Sam… just…" he shrugged, unsure what to tell her – or how to even say it.

"You had a meeting with Hammond?"

He nodded. Jack had been the one to tell him that Hammond had wanted him, so Ian was pretty sure Sam had known, too. Although obviously she didn't know what he'd wanted – or she wouldn't have to ask what was wrong.

"Is everything okay?"

"It's great." He couldn't keep the bitterness out of his voice, now, even though he'd tried. "I got the best grades in my class – and in almost all the other classes – so to reward me, Hammond's sending me off to camp for a week."

"What?"

Yeah, he knew she hadn't known what the meeting had been about, now. Otherwise she wouldn't have looked so surprised.

"He's sending me off to camp," Ian repeated, his eye stinging when a drop of sweat dripped into it. "So I can learn people skills…"

"At camp?"

"Yeah."

"Like a summer camp?"

"So he tells me. Camp Millcreek."

She frowned. She knew the name well, after all.

"That's a children's camp."

Her frown was no match for his scowl.

"I'm going to be a counselor."

"You're joking."

"I wish I was. He didn't make it sound like a joke."

Sam stared at Ian for so long that he actually wondered if she was all right. She wasn't usually caught off guard like this, and it was apparent she really hadn't been able to believe what she'd heard.

"Are you certain that's what he said? Maybe there's a summer retreat for… military geniuses or something…"

"Did you get an invitation to a summer retreat at Camp Millcreek?"

"No."

"Then it's not for geniuses."

"Let me go talk to him," Sam said, shaking her head. "There must be a mistake…"

He actually felt a ray of hope, then, because maybe there had been a mix up or something and Sam could get it all straightened out.

"Be my guest."

She smiled at the relief she heard in his voice.

"Go get cooled off, Ian. I'll come find you when I've had a chance to talk to him."

Yeah, there had to be a mistake. No one in their right mind would turn Ian loose on a bunch of children.