Title: Comforting Lie
Disclaimers: I don't own Angel or Dru. pout Imagine what I'd do with them if I did...
Rating: PG-13 (implied)
Pairing: Angel/Dru (as always)
Time: 2nd Season around Lie to Me
Summary: The only ones deceived are the ones who deceive.
A/N: Okay, so this started out as a drabble from Dru's perspective and then turned into two- one from Dru's perspective and one from Angel's. And I loved them both, so tada! 2 drabbles for the price of one! (Both are POVs)
A/N 2: This was for BtvsatsLove's drabble challenge. The prompt was deception.

I can't believe I lied to Buffy again. It's not something I planned. Reading. I told her that I was going to stay in and catch up on my reading. Instead I'm here- in the arms of my not only evil but also insane childe- with the one person, no, creature that I know will always understand me- no matter how much I don't want her to. The worst part is that we say we love another. I love Buffy, I do, and Dru loves Spike. Still, every night we end up here- arms and legs intertwined, her tongue dancing in my ear, nibbling on anything she can get her teeth onto.

It's a comforting lie. A hiding place I guess you could say. With Drusilla in my arms, I can't hear the screams of all the hundreds I've killed- no more faces haunting my dreams. Instead the only face that haunts me is hers- Dru's. It's like a drug now. This is my way of making up to her all that I have done. And in exchange she helps me feel less guilty. At least that's how it was in the beginning. Now all I can feel is guilt for what I'm doing to Buffy. I can't do this any more, and yet I do it every night until everything is dark and black- until I wake up from the abyss and realize that Dru is no longer in my arms, shaking- weaker than I've ever seen.

I don't even know who I'm lying to any more: Buffy or myself. Part of me wants to always be here wrapped around Dru, our sire-childe bond vibrating through us as we cum- our bodies still clinging together with wanton need. But another part of me- my souled half wants to be with Buffy, married with children.

But that's the cruelest lie of them all. I can't lie to myself. I can never have Buffy- not all of her. I can give her the night but I can't deceive her into thinking that I can give her the type of life she needs. I can't. The only one I can give everything to is Dru. She accepts it all willingly.

Still, as I hold her in my arms, sweat keeping us locked together as one, human-like panting resounding through the air, all I can think is that above all else Dru is my favorite deception. She pretends to be the one seducing me, but we both know better. There is no deception- no seduction. It's instinct- obsession- a bond long ago forged. She's the one thing that will always turn my life into a lie. Because I don't love her. I'm not ready for anyone- not even myself- to know that I do. It's the one lie I can never forget- the comforting lie.