Disclaimer: The TV show Dark Angel, all of the characters that appeared on it (Max, Zack, Logan, etc.), and everything else that has to do with the show belong to their respective owners, not to me. No money is being made off of this fic. I only own the original characters (Becky/X6-405, etc.).
Notes: Spoiler-ish stuff for "Hit A Sista Back", "Meow", and "...And Jesus Brought A Casserole."
Brin couldn't sleep. She knew she should get as much sleep as she possibly could, especially considering that she was pregnant, but she just couldn't.
I hate insomnia. I don't know how Max and Jondy could get through a day with being grouchy the whole time. They're lucky as hell. Oh, screw this.
She got up out of bed and walked over to the living room and sat down on her couch and turned on her TV. Nothing's on. Should you really be surprised that nothing's on? It's close to midnight, for crying out loud. Nobody's interested in watching TV at this time of night. They're all either sleeping or causing some kind of mayhem.
She turned the TV off and went back into the bedroom and stood in front of the window. You know what? Screw it. I think I'll go for a walk. It's a nice night outside. She smiled to herself and threw on some clothes and grabbed her jacket and went outside and walked around.
This is a nice town. It's so pretty here. Maybe it's because it's as close to the Atlantic Ocean as it is. I love looking out onto the ocean. It's almost cathartic. I could be having the worst day in the world and I could just stare out at the ocean and it calms me down almost right away. Brin looked down for a moment. Kind of like the way Tinga used to do when we were kids.
Brin turned and started walking in another direction. What did I do to my sister? I handed her over to Renfro! How could I have been so stupid? Why didn't I see that Renfro would have been up to no good? I got my oldest sister killed! All I wanted was to have my family back with me, and I ended up destroying part of it!
She walked into a coffee shop that was still open and sat down at a table and ordered a cup of decaf and drank it quietly, still completely lost in her train of thought. If that wasn't enough, what did I do after that? I almost killed Max! Brin wiped a tear away and sighed. I thought I was doing the right thing. I just saw Zack standing there in the infirmary about to shoot himself. I didn't see who it was on the operating table he was in front of. Zack was blocking my view of the person. I just didn't want my big brother to die! I couldn't let him die. Then after I shot him and they sedated him and took him off to be treated, I saw Maxie...if that one X5 hadn't been killed on the mission that he'd gone the day before, Maxie would have died. I would have saved Zack's life, but I would have killed my youngest sister in the process.
Brin got up and paid for her coffee and walked back outside. I guess it figures that I'm out on my own without even the security of having the contact number and knowing that Zack's only a phone call away if I'm in trouble. Hell, I don't even know if Zack made it out of the fire that night back in June. What the hell am I thinking, of course Zack made it out of the fire! He's Zack. Max probably made it out, too. They could do anything that they wanted to. She laughed bitterly to herself. They can do anything, but yet Max couldn't convince me to go back with her when she and Zack and Krit and Syl blew the DNA lab. I was so damn stupid. I should have gone with her. Whoever said that hindsight is 20-20 is right...and then should be taken outside and shot by a firing squad.
She stopped at an intersection and waited for the light to change so she could cross the street. She glanced over at a store window and saw baby clothes on display and smiled to herself. Whatever happens, I'm still glad I've got this kid coming in February. I don't know where I'll be or if it's a boy or a girl or anything, but I'm glad I won't be alone. I'm not completely thrilled about how my kid was conceived, but I can't really do anything about that. I just can't believe that they paired me with that guy. I guess even though I'd worked with Renfro several times and she knew I was loyal to Manticore again, she still didn't want to take a chance that I would refuse to participate in the breeding program. I guess she thought it'd be easier for me if she paired me with Ben's twin. I wonder what happened with him after they confirmed that I was pregnant? Did they keep him in the breeding program and give him a new partner or did they just take him out of the program? Her eyes widened and she didn't know whether to scream or laugh. If Renfro most likely assigned 494 to me because he's Ben's twin, did she or at least try to pair him with Max? I hadn't seen Max around at all around Manticore after she and the others blew the DNA lab and I assumed after we'd all been told what had happened that she was still in Psy Ops. Maybe they decided they needed all the available females to participate that they could. Who knows? I'll probably never find that one out.
Brin crossed the street and walked towards the local park. I miss her so much. I miss Max and I miss Zack and all my other siblings. I wish I could see them again. I wish I could tell Max and Zack how sorry I am for everything. I miss them all so much. She found a bench and lay down on it and stared up at the stars. I want to see them all again. I want to see them all and I was for us to be one big happy family. Me and my child and all his or her aunts and uncles. I want for my baby to be healthy and happy and to grow up somewhat normally. Please don't let that be too much to ask for! She closed her eyes and dozed off.
TBC