Disclaimer: It may be Christmas, but I don't think I'll be finding the ownership of Yu Yu Hakusho or any of these Christmas songs under my tree!
A/n- Here is my Christmas special! I decided to make it in the style of Home Movies, with the same couplings and characters added in because you all seemed to like it so much. If you didn't read Home Movies, I suggest that you do. I hope you like it and review when you're done! XD
Special thanks to my best friend in the entire world, Jess (aka Cora Pembroke)! She really helped me get some good, comical material.
Home Movies- Christmas Style!
Koenma sat in a wooden rocking chair, similar to one that your grandmother might own. The room was dim, but the blazing fire behind him filled the area with light and warmth. Christmas stockings hung from the fireplace, waiting to hold candies and toys. The mantle was adorned with garlands and holly berries, fitting the other Holiday decor perfectly. In Koenma's lap was a book of 'The Night Before Christmas'. Before him sat Hisashi, Chisami and Tamae, all giving him their undivided attention and waiting intently for him to start the story.
"Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mo..." Koenma began to read. He then stopped abruptly and slammed the book shut. "Who really wants to read this story again? I bet you hear it every year; the same old blah, blah, blah." The children nodded in agreement.
"You're right!" Tamae exclaimed, throwing a fist in the air.
"I'd rather hear 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'!" Hisashi suggested.
"I think it's time to shake up our Christmas ..." Koenma said.
At that moment, Keiko, Botan, Kurama, Genkai, Ayame, Kuwabara, Yukina, and Puu all jumped out. The kids and Koenma jumped up as well.
They all completed Koenma's sentence and exclaimed, "Yu Yu Hakusho Style!"
"Hey! Hiei didn't partake in the endeavor!" Kuwabara protested. He had been trying to use more complex vocabulary than he normally used in order to impress Yukina.
"Hn. I despise this Holiday cheer," Hiei said grumpily. He had been leaning against the wall in the corner with his arms folded. A smug look had been across his face the entire time he had watched this insanity.
"Cut, cut, cut!" Yusuke cried. He had been using his video making skills and filmed this entire scene with his beloved camera. "Number one- Kuwbara, drop the smart act! It doesn't suit you. Number two-I got all the footage I needed. Thanks guys."
The crowd of people began to once again disperse throughout Botan and Kurama's exceptionally decorated home. Some went into the kitchen, others into the living room and so on. However, the kids and Keiko lingered behind a little. Chisami approached Yusuke.
"Where's my money, bucko?" Chisami said grouchily. She had been extremely reluctant to do this. Therefore, Yusuke had been forced to bribe her with her favorite thing, money. He slapped a five-dollar bill into her little hand. She walked away looking satisfied, for the moment at least.
"Where's my money, Daddy?" Tamae said, sweetly. She looked up at Yusuke with her adoring, chocolate brown eyes and sweet, innocent face that anyone could melt into. Why did his daughter have to be such a sweetheart!
"Here you go, sweetie," Yusuke said, giving in and putting a five-dollar bill into her hand as well. He knew that this had probably been Chisami's doing. She was poisoning his baby girl's brain and forcing her to be manipulative.
Tamae walked away looking satisfied as well. She joined up with Chisami and Hisashi, who were headed for the play room.
"I think Chisami is a bad influence for Tamae," Keiko said, appearing at Yusuke's side and watching the kids walk away with him.
"No, really," Yusuke said sarcastically. "She just weaseled five bucks out of me! At this rate, I'll be broke and begging on the streets by the time she's ten!"
"Oh, by the way, I'll be taking that camera now," Keiko said, holding out her hands and waiting for him to hand it over.
"Come on, Keiko! I'll be good this time..." Yusuke said, trying to sound convincing. Secretly, he had countered this promise by crossing his fingers behind his back. "...sort of..." he mumbled under his breath.
"Alright..." Keiko said, sighing in defeat. The things she did for the man she loved. "But, if you ruin this Christmas party, you'll be sleeping on the couch for a long time." With that said, she walked out of the room.
"I'll probably end up causing trouble..." Yusuke said, to himself and the camera that was still on. Putting the lens up to his eye, he took off in the direction of the living room.
Everyone was dispersed throughout the room. Hiei, Shizuru, Ayame and Koenma were all seated on one leather couch, while Yukina, Kuwabara, Genkai, Keiko and Puu sat on the other. In the love seat, Botan and Kurama were cuddling.
Not much had changed in the past three months since the gang had last gathered. Everyone's health was fine, even old Genkai still had a pulse. Kuwabara had finally come to his senses and cut his hair. He and Yukina were still engaged and the wedding was to be in spring or summer. Shizuru was looking a lot thinner and had given birth to a bouncing baby girl named Sahra. She and Hiei had left her at home with a baby sitter, just as Koenma and Ayame had done with Emsa. Aside from these subtle changes, every person was still the same.
Yusuke plopped down on the couch next to Keiko and scanned the silent room with his camera. Everyone in the room seemed tired, yet satisfied. Christmas cheer was in the air and it filled everyone to the point of exhaustion.
"Silence is golden..."Yusuke whispered. Everyone stared at him. "But, SHOUTING IS MORE FUN!" Groans, glares and protests were thrown at Yusuke's outburst. He had disturbed the peace.
"Thanks a lot, Yusuke!" Keiko yelled. She threw him one of her signature glares. "That's one night on the couch and counting." Yusuke opened his mouth to protest, but he was interrupted by Botan.
"Well, now that our quiet time has been ruined..." Botan said, sounding agitated and threw a glare at Yusuke. Everyone really seemed to hate him tonight. "I say we move on to presents."
"Oh! I love presents!" Yukina said excitedly. Her face was positively beaming.
"Yeah. It's like an arranged marriage," Yusuke said. The whole room stared at him like he was mad. He filmed their reactions and continued to speak. "You never know what you're going to get."
"I thought the saying was 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get,'" Kuwabara said, looking confused. He scratched the top of his head, as if it would help him think a little harder. "Who said that anyway?"
"Whatever, Kuwabara," Yusuke said, trying to ignore the stupid nitwit.
"Was it Willy Wonka?" Kuwabara inquired. He could be very persistent when he really wanted to know something... and then be forced to ask about it again due to his constant memory loss.
"It was Forrest Gump, doofus," Yusuke corrected him. He had to resist the temptation to smack Kuwabara. The camera in his hands helped a little; it kept his hands busy.
"Moving on..." Botan began. "Who wants to give their present first?"
"I will!" Keiko said a little too happily. She walked over to the seven-foot, tree covered in different colored bulbs, Santa figurines, lights and tinsel. It was topped off with a bright, shining star. She grabbed a present wrapped in gold paper and handed it to Genkai.
"Stop the presses!" Yusuke exclaimed. He turned the camera around to face him and he began to speak. "Before we give out gifts, let me explain what this is. We did a Pollyanna. This means that in a group of people, everyone picks the name of one person and they give that person a gift. This way, everyone gets a gift and it's a cheaper way of doing Christmas." He turned the camera back around to film the room. "You may continue."
Yusuke's interruption hadn't stopped Genkai from opening the present. She had ripped off the shiny paper, cast it aside and was staring at a box of Polydent. Her face was expressionless; you couldn't tell if she was mad, sad, or glad.
"What kind of a gift is this?" Genkai said in outrage. She was utterly offended by this stunt. Sure, she had dentures, but this present screamed 'You're old and falling apart!'
"Remember, that it's the thought that counts, Genkai," Keiko said, laughing nervously. Truth be told, Genkai have been old, but she was still scary when she was pissed off. "Remember... Yusuke made me get it!"
"Thanks a ton, dimwit," Genkai said, glaring at Yusuke. What was with all the glaring tonight? What had happened to the 'Christmas cheer'?
"Hey! It's not my fault you have fake teeth!" Yusuke cried out, trying to defend himself. Stupid Keiko and her stupid big mouth!
"For insulting Genkai, that's two nights on the couch now!" Keiko said sternly.
Shizuru went next. After grabbing a thin, green present, she handed it to Yusuke. He gave the camera to Koenma so that he could film it.
"Thanks, Shizzie!" Yusuke exclaimed as he ripped off the paper.
"You don't even know what it is...and never call me 'Shizzie' again," Shizuru said, sitting back down next to Hiei and folding her arms.
"Woah! Yes! I like this present!" Yusuke said, excitedly. He flipped through the X-rated, porno magazine.
At the sight of the present, Keiko's eyes widened. She grabbed the magazine out of his hands and quickly threw it into the fire. Yusuke face sunk as he watched his present burn down into ashes. He turned to Keiko, angered and annoyed.
"What the hell was that for?" Yusuke yelled. "That was my present."
"It's vile trash that no person needs to look at," Keiko argued. She had a good point there. "Why do you find it to be so interesting? You have a wife to entertain you!"
"Entertain, how?" Yusuke said with a smirk. He put his index finger on his chin. Obviously, he was having dirty thoughts.
"I didn't mean... Yusuke, you pervert!" Keiko said. She smacked him on the head and sat back down on the couch, pouting.
"Come on, Keiko! You know you're my favorite porn star!" Yusuke said as he sat down next to her and gave her a hug.
"Moving on..." Botan said, a little weirded out by Yusuke and Keiko. They had a rather odd relationship. "Why don't you go next, Hiei."
"Hn," Hiei said grumpily. He reluctantly handed a green gift bag to... Kuwabara!
"Should I open it? It's not going to jump out and kill me, is it?" Kuwabara asked, in all seriousness. He knew how Hiei didn't really like him. The feeling was pretty much mutual, but maybe Hiei was using this opportunity to get revenge on Kuwabara for his engagement with his sister!
"Just open the damn bag!" Hiei barked. Somebody's doctor needed to prescribe happy pills... At his sudden outburst, everything got really quiet. He turned red from embarrassment and sat back down.
Obeying the command, Kuwabara opened the bag and couldn't believe his eyes. It was a limited edition Megallica hat, autographed and all!
"Whoa! I never thought I'd say this, but... Thanks, Hiei!" Kuwabara exclaimed.
"Hn."
"Any guy would kill for this!" Kuwabara said, still in shock and disbelief that Hiei would give such a good present.
"Funny," Hiei said. He cracked an evil smile and chuckled a little. "I almost killed the guy I took it from."
Kuwabara seemed to disregard this last comment. He put the hat on top of his oddly shaped head and began to beam from his display of Megallica pride. His friends were going to flip when they saw this hat!
"Urgh! I don't have much more patience!" Koenma complained. "I want my present now! Can we just pass out the rest and open them all at once?"
Everyone agreed. Who really wanted to wait forever for their turn? It was Christmastime and everyone just wants their presents A.S.A.P! Therefore, the rest of the presents were passed out and stripped of their colorful paper and bows.
After grabbing his camera back from Koenma, Yusuke decided to go around the room and film the rest of the Pollyanna results.
Keiko was his first victim. She had received a set of herbs for cooking. Yusuke picked up one of the glass jars containing green leaves.
"Whoa! It's hippie lettuce!" Yusuke said. Of course, he was being sarcastic and poking fun at the gift.
"What the heck is that?" Kurama said. He didn't have a clue what Yusuke was ever up to.
"Hippie lettuce would be another term for weed," Yusuke clarified. "And to think that you have an IQ rank of Genius."
"Yusuke! Why do you constantly ruin a nice thing?" Keiko said, agitated from Yusuke's antics. Yusuke decided to ignore Keiko this time. "That'll be three nights on the couch now."
"Anyway, what did you get, Kurama?" Yusuke asked, zooming in on the object in Kurama's hands. It was a thick, red bound book.
"Kuwabara was nice enough to give me a copy of Great Expectations," Kurama said with a smile.
"My grandma gave it to me last Christmas, but I thought that you might understand the big words and the funny way it's written," Kuwabara said.
"So, your grandma gave it to you last Christmas, huh?" Yusuke repeated, trying to get a point across. Kuwabara didn't seem to catch on. Yusuke turned to Kurama. "Looks like you got a re-gift, Kurama."
"Uh... It's the thought that counts?" Kurama said, sounding unsure and smiling meekly.
Yusuke left the group to their gifts and troubles and decided to move on. He spotted Ayame opening the gift he had gotten her. She pulled a tee-shirt out of the box.
"So, what do you think of the gift I got you?" Yusuke asked, waiting for her reaction.
Ayame's reaction was a giggle. She turned the shirt around and held it up on her. It was dark blue and had the words 'I'm with Junior' printed in yellow.
"I love it, Yusuke!" she exclaimed. "Koenma will get a kick out of this!"
"Glad you like it!" Yusuke said, giving her a hug. He would have made a crack about the shirt, but Ayame was too nice. He was glad she had liked it and could appreciate a gag gift. "Who did you give a present to?"
"I had Hiei," Ayame replied with a smile. "Go check out what it is! He loves it." She points to where Hiei was seated; alone on the love seat with a box.
"What's in the box, Hiei?" Yusuke asked, when he had approached the love seat. Hiei looked up at him with his famous death glare.
"What do you want, grease mop?" Hiei said. He was in one of his hostile moods, as always. "If you're here for some sweet snow, you're not getting any of mine!" He hugged the box in his arms tighter.
"Oh, so that's what Ayame got you. Sweet snow," Yusuke said, finally realizing why he was fondling the box.
"But, what does this Freeze-dry crap mean?" Hiei asked, pointing to the word on the box. This was a first. Hiei was asking for help, or rather, information. He never liked to depend on anyone for anything, except for himself, or his wife, of course.
"It just means that it won't melt and it's not cold," Yusuke answered.
"Hn." That was Hiei's only response, before he decided to ignore Yusuke and put all of his attention into his present.
Yusuke decided to leave Hiei to his beloved sweet snow. It was extremely odd for pyromaniac to love something cold so much. Then again, this world was full of strange and bizarre things.
A few feet away, Yusuke saw Botan, Shizuru and Yukina seated on the ground by the tree. He knelt down and joined their little circle.
"Hey, girls," Yusuke said happily with a smile.
"What are you up to?" Botan asked suspiciously. "You must be here to torment us in some way, shape or form."
"I'm not here to do any of that!" Yusuke cried, defending himself. "I'm just filming everyone's gifts!"
"Well, the binky king (Koenma) gave me a lighter," Shizuru said, sounding disappointed. She held up a golden lighter. "It's too bad I quit smoking for the baby..."
"That is too bad," Yusuke said, sarcastically sympathetic.
"This gives me a reason to start again though," Shizuru said, looking on the bright side.
"Oh yeah, do you see your husband over there?" Yusuke said quietly, pointing at Hiei on the couch. The fire demon was gnawing on a chunk of freeze-dry ice cream. "I would keep my eye on him. He's cheating on you with the sweet snow."
"Whatever, Yusuke," Shizuru replied. Yusuke had a mind of his own... Half of the time, his stupid little jokes weren't very funny, and if they were, they were usually annoying, too.
"What did you other ladies get?" Yusuke asked, filming Botan and Yukina.
"Botan-chan gave me this funny shirt," Yukina said, giggling. She held up a purple shirt with the phrase 'Related to a Pyromaniac' on it.
"Interesting..." Yusuke said, not amused. "And, what is in your box, Miss Botan?" He looked down at the green box Botan was clutching.
"Oh..uh... It's nothing! Genkai's just gave me a gag gift," Botan said, laughing nervously. As she said this, her face turned red as a boiled lobster and she held the box even tighter in her arms.
"Ok then..." Yusuke said, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. He was pretty sure he didn't want to know what was in the box... "I'll be going this way..." He then got up off the of the carpeted floor and walked over to Koenma.
"Hey there, Princey. What's the haps?" Yusuke said, plopping down on the couch next to Koenma.
"Do I spoil Emsa?" Koenma asked, out of nowhere.
"Umm... I would have to say yes. Last time we saw her, she practically had a Toys R' Us and a mall in her room," Yusuke replied, being perfectly honest.
"Then, Yukina's present is telling the truth!" Koenma exclaimed. He held up a yellow shirt reading 'Sugar Daddy' in bold green lettering.
"If the shirt fits, wear it," Yusuke said, shrugging. At his response, Koenma put the shirt on and sat there, wallowing in his misery.
"Now, my sweet baby has poisoned me! She'll grow up to be a bratty, free-loader!" Koenma exclaimed in despair. He broke down in tears.
"Umm... I'll leave you to your uh... yeah..." Yusuke said, unsure. He patted Koenma on the back and headed into the kitchen. It was in here that he found Hisashi picking up Puu off of a chair. "Where are you going with the penguin, Sashi?"
"I just need to borrow him! I promise I won't hurt him!" Hisashi yelled. He then took off down the hall towards the playroom with the blue creature.
All the way you could hear the shouts of, "Puu! Puuu! PUUUUU!"
"I feel bad for the bird," Yusuke said, as he watched the door to the playroom slam shut.
After grabbing some "adult punch",Yusuke went back into the living room to find everyone situated on the couches again. Kuwabara was in the middle of the room and he seemed to be putting on a show. Just as Yusuke sat down next to Keiko, the red-head broke out in song.
"Deck the halls with gasoline,
Fa la la la la, la la la la,
Light a match and watch it gleam,
Fa la la la la, la la la la,
Watch Spirit World burn down to ashes,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la,
Aren't you glad you played with matches?
Fa la la la la la, la la laaaa!"
"Is he drunk?" Yusuke whispered to Keiko.
"I'm pretty sure he is..." she replied, as she clapped once or twice.
"Thank you, thank you! I'm here until Thursday!" Kuwabara said, bowing.
"Should I take that song as a threat to Spirit World?" Koenma said, suspiciously. He gave Kuwabara the evil eye. "Are you planning to turn your back on me and my kingdom?"
"Uh...n-no.." Kuwabara squeaked. He backed away from Koenma and retreated into the kitchen.
"He was just making a joke, Koenma," Kurama said. "You didn't have to be so harsh."
Koenma let out a grumble and sat back on the couch with his arms folded. He took any threat or bad word about Spirit World seriously. He was going to be King very soon and he didn't want any enemies.
A few moments later, Hisashi, Tamae and Chisami walked into the living room. Each of them had a set of reindeer ears on their head. In Hisashi's arms was a sad looking Puu, who had the same reindeer ears and a blinking red nose.
"Daddy, can we sing a song?" Tamae asked nicely.
"Sure, sweetie," Yusuke said. He readied his camera to film the kids.
"Our song is called 'Puudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'," Hisashi said, into a fake, plastic microphone. "I'm the lead singer and they're my back up singers. Hit it, Chisami!" Chisami pressed the red button on a boom box. The tune to 'Rudolph' began to play and they sang.
"Puudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,
Had a very shiny nose. (Like a headlight.)
And if you ever saw it,
You would even say it glows. (Like a glow worm.)
All of the other reindeer,
Used to laugh and call him names. (Like Cherry Nose!)
They never let poor Puudolph,
Join in any reindeer games. (Like strip poker!)
Then, one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say. (In his French maid suit! What were he and Mrs. Claus doing?)
'Puudolph, with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'
Then all the reindeer despised him,
As they shouted out threats of mutiny. (Down with Puudolph!)
Puudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer,
You'll go down in hi-stor-y! (Like Benedict Arnold!)"
Everyone stood up and clapped for the children. They took their bows and waited for the noise to die down.
"Haha! That was great kids!" Yusuke said. "This gives me another idea..." He knelt down next to Chisami and whispered something into her ear. When he was done, her eyes widened and a smile spread on her face.
"Hey, Hisashi! Come here!" Chisami called out. She grabbed Hisashi by the back of his shirt and dragged him into the entranceway of the kitchen. "Guess what?
"What?"
"Look up," she said.
Sure enough, they were standing under a sprig of mistletoe.
Hisashi face turned white. How could he have been so easily deceived? He tried desperately to run away, but all of the guests were gathered around them and blocking his escape routes.
"Dad, don't make me! Please!" Hisashi begged.
Yusuke only winked at him and continued to film the scene.
Hisashi sighed in defeat and leaned in. Chisami did the same.
When their lips met, everyone let out a series of "Aww's" and Yusuke provided a thumbs-up to Hisashi.
The two kids broke away and turned redder than Puu's nose.
"That was gross!" Hisashi yelled at Chisami.
"Not as gross as you!" Chisami yelled back.
"Ah... To be young and in love again," Keiko said, dreamily. It reminded her of her youth and the relationship that she and Yusuke had.
"Can we go play out in the snow now?" Tamae piped up out of nowhere.
"Sounds good to me!" Hisashi exclaimed, forgetting the prior incident. The kids ran off to don on their winter gear and play in the snow.
Everyone retreated into the living room once again. Kuwabara sat on the love seat, looking deep in thought. That was something you don't see everyday.
"Hey, Kuwabara! Are you constipated or are you just thinking really hard, but failing?" Yusuke yelled across the room.
"I was just thinking of that song we made up once. It was about 10 years ago and we were drunk," Kuwabara said. "It was a Christmas song about all about the bad guys and stuff. Do you remember?"
"Oh yeah! We have to sing it!" Yusuke exclaimed. He was getting very excited. Those had been the good old days... "Film this for me!" He thrust the camera in Keiko's hands and went up to stand next to Kuwabara.
"Here we go..." he said and they began to sing their wacky Christmas tune.
"Jingle Bells, Suzaku smells.
Raizen laid an egg.
The Black Book Club lost a deal.
And Sensui and Itsuki are gay!"
At the end of their song, there were a few meager claps from the gang.
"You two are insane," Botan commented.
"I'll take that as a compliment," Yusuke said proudly.
At that moment, the kids came into the room again, but they had forgotten to take off their snow gear. Tamae ran over to Keiko, while Chisami and Hisashi stood by the Christmas tree snickering.
"Mommy.." Tamae began. "Yellow snow doesn't taste like lemonade!" After that last word, she burst into tears.
"What did you make her do?" Keiko asked Hisashi, sharply.
"I...uh..." Hisashi tried to say, looking guilty. Finally, he couldn't hold it in anymore. "We dared her to eat yellow snow!"
"You're grounded for two weeks, Mister!" Keiko yelled. She turned to Yusuke, who was filming this and finding it to be intriguing. "What are you doing, filming this? Make that four nights on the couch, now! Should I call poison control?"
"I just want this filmed so that we can blackmail our kids," Yusuke explained. He sighed. He now had four nights on the couch. Could he go that long without getting laid? "And, yes, you should call poison control."
Keiko scooped the blubbering Tamae into her arms and ran into the kitchen to call Poison Control.
"Well, I think I should wrap up this video," Yusuke said, turning the camera around to face him. "Until, next time, I'm your host, Yusuke Urameshi! And have a Merry Christmahanukwanza!"
-The End-
A/n- Well, that pretty much it! That was my comeback with the "Home Movies." I hope everyone liked it! Please go and review now! If enough people review, I might do another "Home Movies" one shot where Kuwabara and Yukina get married. Happy Holidays and a good New Year everyone!