Kujaku Confessions
Author: Chaos Valkyrie
First Conceptualized: December 2004
Posted Chapter 01: March 12, 2005
Updated: December 22, 2005
Disclaimer: How often do I really need to say this? If I was Takahashi, don't you think I'd be cashing in on this idea already?
Author's Note: Yup, it's me. Yup, it's a new story. Nope, I haven't finished some of the others. I'm a bad bad authoress… Anywho, this story was mainly inspired by Mai's duel with Joey in the Doom Arc. However, I set this after Battle City, and it'll have little to do with the Doom Arc, simply because I haven't really gotten to see any of it yet. Meh, stupid work.
Chapter One: On the Outside Looking In
The male members of the dueling gang – Yugi, Joey, Tristan, Ryou and Duke – were gathered around an outdoor café table on a bright, sunny spring day. And while some members of the group were content with their enormous platefuls of food, one rather small duelist was concerned.
"Where is Téa?" Yugi wondered aloud. "She's not usually this late." His eyebrows creased, remembering their recent rash of trouble with the Rare Hunters.
Tristan shrugged, still intent on his lunch.
Joey gulped down another large bite of his cheeseburger. "I'm sure she's fine, Yug."
Just then, naturally, Téa appeared.
"Who's died?" asked Joey, his mouth full of food once again. The others paused eating while they too absorbed the nervous look on her face.
"Well…" Téa began hesitantly. "Actually, you, Joey."
Joey spat out his mouthful of burger, ignoring Tristan and Duke's chorus of 'GROSS!' "What!" He patted his chest with his hands jokingly. "I don't think I'm a ghost!"
Téa snorted and smacked a paper down on the table. Yugi looked at the title and frowned. "The Domino Inquirer?"
Duke shook his head. "You read that trash?" he asked disbelievingly.
"Its not funny. I picked it up because they claimed to have an 'exclusive' article on dueling." Téa picked the paper back up and opened it to the second page. "Its actually a new column, 'Kujaku Confessions: The Sordid and Shameless Secrets of a Female Duelist'," Tea read aloud.
Tristan grinned. "'Sordid', eh? Read it aloud, then!"
Téa coughed. "Well, her first article is titled, 'Of Mutts and Men: A Look at the Duel Monsters Competition.'"
Joey bristled while Duke tried (in vain) to hide a smirk by taking a large bite of his sandwich. It didn't work.
"Ow!" Duke complained, rubbing the back of his head from where Joey had smacked it. The two glared daggers at each other until Téa cleared her throat for attention.
"Do you want me to read this or not?" she asked, her impatience starting to flair. The group nodded, and Téa cleared her throat one last time.
"'Of Mutts and Men: A Look at the Duel Monsters Competition.'" Téa paused, folding the paper into a small square to make it easier to read.
"'Unless you've been living under a rock, you should be aware of Duel Monsters, the gaming phenomenon that took the world by storm six years ago. Much like chess, this game with questionable ancient origins requires skill, intelligence, and finesse. As this writer and duelist has also discovered, each player also needs something more: whether it be faith, power, or pure dumb luck. With that in mind, let's look at a few of the major competitors in this ever growing and changing sport.'
"'We must begin with Yugi Mutou, the top-ranked duelist in the world. Don't let his dwarfish size or punk hairdo fool you: he has trounced former national and world champions with ease, even defeating the game's creator, Maximillion Pegasus. Whether you find his talk of 'The Heart of the Cards' endearing or foolish, his absolute faith in his deck has pulled him out of every jam the game has thrown at him.'"
"Well, that wasn't too bad so far," Tristan said, looking at Yugi, whose face was beet red.
"Dwarfish!" Yugi muttered as Joey hushed the two, gesturing for Téa to continue.
"'However, when one wants power, one needs go no further than the mighty Blue Eyes White Dragon and its owner, Seto Kaiba. The CEO and former world champion (and one of Mutou's victims) will burn out any duelist's deck with the pure unadulterated power of his cards, or the force of his mighty ego. When he is not busy running his multinational company Kaiba Corp, he can often be found exhibiting his poor fashion taste and hunting down Mutou, seeking to salve his pride, but ultimately gaining yet another defeat.'"
All the boys snickered for a few minutes before Téa was able to continue.
"'Speaking of tagalongs, last but unfortunately not least is Joey Wheeler, the sidekick, strong arm, and best friend of the mighty Mutou. Nicknamed 'Mutt' by the aforementioned Kaiba, this duelist's prowess on the battlefield is usually aided by his sheer dumb luck. Able to pull a victory from the most unlikely places, this writer wonders how he has had the nerve to last in this pastime as long as he has. He too can be found trailing Mutou and Kaiba like a lost puppy, pushing one or the other for a rawhide/duel, as they are the only two duelists to whom he has consistently lost.'
"'Three duelists, three outlooks, one obsession – the urge to be the best. Many hopefuls, following the lead of these competitors, are rising from the ranks, all wishing to rise to the top of the dueling world. Some have what it takes – the drive, the determination, the cutthroat tactics necessary to be the best. Many do not. This reporter will attempt to follow these duelists and others to give you an inside look at the often mysterious world that is Duel Monsters, and the often sordid secrets it contains.'"
The group sat in silence for a moment as they digested the article's words. They exploded all at once.
"Trailing like a puppy!" Joey screeched while Duke cried, he was laughing so hard.
"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad," he gasped, wiping his eyes. Tristan smirked, clapping Joey on the shoulder.
"Come on, Joey, no one reads that rag anyway. It'll all be forgotten soon," Yugi reasoned. Joey remained unconvinced as the group continued to debate the article.
From a table nearby, hidden behind a large outdoor planter, Mai Valentine smirked as she scribbled on her notepad.
'Article Two: Puppy Goes Rabid,' she scratched down, a smirk playing on her well defined lips.
End Notes: HAHAHAHAHA! I had fun writing that, though I didn't make some of the points I wanted to. But that's what the future chapters are for, ne? In case you're wondering, Kujaku Mai is Mai's name in the Japanese version of YGO. Hence, I made it her penname here. Anywho, this will be a lighthearted fic like Duelist Café. So far, I have no ideas for romantic pairings here… in the future, who knows?