Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in the Harry Potter universe J.K. Rowling does. The title "Waking the Witch" is inspired by the Kate Bush song of the same name. I do not own the song either. It can be found on Kate Bush's album Hounds of Love.The name Rosaleen was inspired by the Neil Jordan film The Company of Wolves. I don't own any of the characters in that film, either! I do, however, own my Rosaleen MacDuff Jasper, who is of no relation or incarnation of Neil Jordan's character in his film.
Waking the Witch
by Leah Pensotti
Chapter Ten: Long Farewell of the Hunger Strike
"'Cause I can tell... you know what it's like.
A long farewell... of the hunger strike.
But can you save me?
Come on and save me...
If you could save me,
From the ranks of the freaks,
Who suspect they could never love anyone."
–Aimee Mann, "Save Me"
The fire crackled wildly in the study as dawn peeked out over the horizon. Lupin sat in the chair near the fireplace, watching the red and orange flames dance. He could not sleep, because Rosaleen haunted him, even then. For hours, he had been awake and contemplating his dream as well as replaying the events that had occurred the evening before after they had returned from Diagon Alley.
How could it be that he felt physical pain when he looked at her? He did, it pulled at his chest the moment she stepped into his presence.
Then, the night before, as he held her to him, he had never felt so fulfilled. Now he had pushed her away and doubted that the tenderness he realized she possibly had for him would ever exist again.
Remus Lupin had never felt so terribly alone in his entire life. He could imagine what Sirius would say to him if he heard of the problems that Lupin now faced. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Lupin could hear his dear friend's voice clearly.
"What is stopping you, Remus? There is obviously something there. You'd be foolish to let this slip away from you. Rosaleen did not push you away, friend. Go to her and tell you how you feel, before it is too late. It is a perfect match, for I have never seen a more lovely woman who is as melancholy as our own Mr. Moony."
Lupin knew that it was something that Sirius would say. His friend had never had a problem socializing with anyone when they were at school, especially not anyone of the female variety. However, Lupin had only his small circle of friends. His condition had left him somewhere on the outside.
"Rosaleen is on the outside as well, Remus."
Sirius's voice popped out of the back of his mind. Of course, Lupin knew this was true. But why would she have him? She was beautiful and brilliant; everything that he isn't and everything that he didn't deserve.
Lupin felt torn between his thoughts and the lull of sleep that had crashed over him like a great wave.
Lupin found himself in a strange place amongst strange people in strange clothing. A bearded man held a Bible in his hands and paced back and forth in front of many seated people. His face was red and he clearly looked distraught.
"We have asked you all to come here tonight, in hopes to pray for an end to devilry in the city of Salem. As you know, many have fallen ill and there have been accusations made against members of the community. Allegations that go against God and all that is holy. If you know of any happenings, come forth and God will absolve your sins."
Lupin looked around and realized that he was in an old-fashioned muggle church. He scanned the rows of people and his eyes fell on an extremely curious sight. A girl adorned in a simple brown dress and deep ash blonde hair tucked underneath a white bonnet. She turned her head to the side and whispered to an older man beside her. It was Rosaleen.
Lupin looked on, watching her carefully. Her skin was pale, but pink and healthy. She was not a vampire. In the background, Lupin could still hear the drone of the speaker.
"This evil will be ended, and the witches will confess or pay for the evil that they have brought into our community. Be vigilant and watchful. Do not hesitate to bring news to the Magistrate."
Everyone began filing out of the church and Lupin made his way over to Rosaleen, who still spoke with an older man and an older woman. He realized that no one could see him, so he stood close so he could hear what they were saying.
"I won't be long, Papa." Rosaleen patted the older man's hand .
"Rose, my dear, I do not think it wise to be out alone during times like this. Too much trouble to be found. I'm sure your book will be fine until morning." Rosaleen's father looked at her in a pleading way. He was bearded and gruff-looking, but had a gentle voice with a thick Scottish lilt.
"No one can hurt me, Papa. I must find it though, or real questions will be asked." Her father's eyes widened with the realization that the book they were speaking of was not for muggle eyes.
"Very well, then. Do not be long and worry your mother." Lupin looked at the older woman with same cherub's face and green eyes that Rosaleen possessed. She kissed both of them on the cheek and nodded with understanding.
"I will be quick."
Rosaleen picked up the hem of her skirt and hurried out the front door. Lupin had to run to keep up with her. The town was filled with dirt roads and wagons and the daylight had begun to fade into the hills. This was colonial America, Lupin was sure of it. The words of the speaker in the church rang in his ears.
Salem.
He couldn't believe what was happening, but managed to keep up with Rosaleen's quickened steps. She walked into the woods and pulled off her bonnet. Lupin could see that her hair was the same deep gold, but there were no shocks of white to be seen. Rosaleen began searching the ground for her book, clearly retracing the steps that she had walked earlier in that day. She saw something in the underbrush and bent to inspect it. Rosaleen let out a relieved sigh that she had found her book, that seemed to be about wizardry in Western Europe.
Lupin caught a fleeting smile wash across her face and she turned to walk away from the woods, only to find herself presented with a stranger. He was tall and had a handsome, chiseled face. Lupin stepped closer and saw gently pointed teeth peeking from below the stranger's top lip.
"It is not safe for such a lovely young woman to be away from her family, especially not in the woods alone. Tell me, miss, what brings you out on such a night?" Rosaleen looked taken aback by his appearance and gently slipped her book in her apron pocket, hoping that he would not notice.
"I only came to find something I lost earlier today, good sir. My mother and father have bid me to come home quickly, so I fear that I have no time for pleasantries." The man stepped closer to her and chuckled warmly and offered his arm to her.
"My name is Heathcliff Collinwood. May I escort you home so you might make it safely? I assure you that I will not bite."
Lupin sneered at the scene with disgust. He wished that he could stop it. He wished that he could save her. Rosaleen smiled up at the handsome man and accepted his arm. Lupin followed them for a while, but soon the lights faded and he felt himself being awakened.
"Remus, wake up. It's nearly five."
Rosaleen shook him gently by the shoulder, she had been worried about him all day. Now she found him exhausted and pale in the big brown chair in the study, the fire that surely burned all night only a rubble of burning embers. He still wore his nightclothes and had his dressing gown wrapped around him tightly.
"Remus..." She shook him a little harder and his eyes opened to reveal a bleary state. Lupin looked up at her and tried to focus, she was a sight to behold. Her hair was twisted away from her face, revealing her long, white neck. She wore a simple gray blouse and a knee-length black skirt and her eyes looked back with him with concern.
Lupin sat up quickly, realizing that he had fallen asleep by the fire and he was fresh from the worrisome dream that he had just escaped.
"What time did you say it was?"
"Nearly five in the afternoon," Rosaleen smiled gently and bent down to him, "Are you alright, Remus? You look as though you may be ill."
Lupin stood up quickly and ran his hand through his messy hair. He had slept all day? The dreams...they clung to him like wet clothing. Lupin took her left elbow gently and cleared his throat.
"Rosaleen, I had dreams last night. About you and Collinwood in the woods in Colonial America." Rosaleen looked taken aback, she new the time would come that she would have to reveal more of herself, though she did not expect it to come so quickly. Lupin continued, "They were memories, weren't they?"
Rosaleen swallowed and nodded solemnly.
"My family immigrated to America just before I was born. I met Heathcliff Collinwood at the beginning of the Salem Witch Trials. In July, he turned me into the creature that you see today and killed my mother and father."
"But the trials...they came about in..."
Rosaleen nodded her head and avoided his intense stare. She pushed the truth from her throat and sighed, "They were in 1692, Remus. I am 328 years old."
He looked stunned. Of course he knew that vampires were immortal, but he thought that she had only been changed for a few years. Perhaps that was naive of him, but that is what he thought. Lupin gaped at her with an open mouth and Rosaleen turned away and looked to the fireplace which still housed a lone smoldering ember.
"I was a stupid child. I thought I new so much, but I was not aware of vampires. I had never encountered one before. He courted me like a gentleman for months. I thought he wanted to marry me. Though I was a witch, I was naive and fool hearted. Though I was 24, I was a sheltered little girl. I knew nothing of the world; wizarding or otherwise. Then Collinwood sired me into a world of darkness and guilt. I educated myself in the ways of the muggles, the wizards and of the church. I set out to find the redemption I seek." The ember finally died out and Rosaleen turned her attention back to Lupin. He stood before her with a sad look on his face, not really wanting to ask the next question burning on his tongue.
"What of the torture...the men who...who..." Rosaleen raised an eyebrow to him in an interested way.
"You saw that as well?" Lupin nodded and Rosaleen sighed thickly and continued, "That was in 1801. I was captured by members of a church after I terrorized their village. It was only the beginning of my long road to reform.. I am not jesting when I say that I was a horrible beast, Remus. I was a villainess. I deserved my punishment. Though, I have never turned anyone else into one of my kind. I am afraid to reveal anymore because you may distance yourself from me even further."
Lupin felt the sting of her comment. She remained unemotional on the surface, but he knew that she was upset about the night before. He stepped to her calmly and looked down to her with curiosity.
"Why should a wretch like myself matter to you, Rosaleen? I can only hinder you. I do not deserve your friendship or compassion."
"Then I am no more deserving of your friendship, for I see us as being in quite the same boat." Rosaleen looked up at Lupin with a smirk that was as playful as it was venomous. Somewhere inside, he knew that she was right.
Rosaleen reached up and brushed his unkempt hair away from his face and gave a weak smile, "I saw your memories, too. I saw you in an old, derelict, ramshackle of a house. I saw you change. You looked so alone."
Surprised by her revelation, Lupin searched for the words to explain, "I went there as a boy, to change in safety for others. I was only alone at first; Sirius and James became animagi to be with me. But now, I am alone again."
"I don't want you to be alone, Remus. You don't have to be alone...I can come with you." Rosaleen pushed back tears, not wanting to come off as an emotional wreck. Lupin felt his heart breaking in his chest. She was serious. Rosaleen really felt that way.
"I couldn't chance it. I won't allow you to be hurt, Rosaleen. I could never forgive myself..."
"Then you know not the pain that you do inflict, by pushing me away. I promise you this, Remus, you will not physically hurt me, but keeping me at arms-length is taking it's toll. You confuse me thoroughly."
Lupin remembered Sirius's voice ringing through his ears just moments before. "You'd be foolish to let this slip away from you."
He wanted to pull her to him and kiss her again. But if he could dream of her memories and she of his, then what is to stop his other dream from coming to fruition in the future? Lupin would not allow anything to hurt her. As she beckoned to him with her eyes, Lupin saw the faint glimmer of hope in the green. He was torn, and the moment alone might rip him to shreds. He took her hand from where it rested on his cheek and kissed her palm gently.
"I'm sorry, Rosaleen, if I confuse you. You are a dear friend and I am grateful for your concern...but I can't...be anything more."
Rosaleen's jaw dropped in shock, she thought that she had gotten through to him. She thought that Lupin felt the same. Rosaleen still fought tears and pulled her hand away from him. She smoothed her skirt hastily and cleared her throat as she took a step back.
"Very well, Remus. I must be going. I am meeting Professor Snape. I am watching him make the potion this time. Perhaps I'll ask him to make another batch for you...seeing as we'll both need to keep the memories away." She nodded to him a little sadly, saving her tears for her privacy. Rosaleen turned and left the study briskly and choked on the sadness that had formed in her throat.
As Lupin watched her leave, he heard Sirius's voice come to him again.
"Coward. You're a fool."
"That I am." Lupin muttered quietly and sank back into the chair by the fire.
Rosaleen refused to cry. She refused to meet Severus Snape with a hint of any emotion whatsoever detectable on her face. She didn't understand Lupin. He had seemed to want the same things she did before he tried that blasted potion.
As she hurried downstairs of Number 12 Grimmauld, she passed the kitchen where Mrs. Weasley, Ginny and Hermione prepared the evening meal. As she hoped to pass by without being noticed, it was much to her chagrin that she heard a cheery voice call to her.
"Rosaleen, dear? Have you seen Remus? It is nearly time for supper?"
Rosaleen stopped and turned around, feigning a smile. Mrs. Weasley approached her with a concerned look on her face and Rosaleen pointed upstairs, "Professor Lupin is upstairs in the study."
"Where are you off to?" Mrs. Weasley inquired with interest. Rosaleen smiled a little more brightly at the woman, who fancied herself everyone's mother. It had been so long since Rosaleen had felt that maternal instinct from anyone, and realized how much she missed it.
"I have some business to attend to in Diagon Alley, Mrs. Weasley. It shouldn't take long." Mrs. Weasley looked stricken with concern and she patted Rosaleen's arm.
"Shouldn't Remus go with you?" Rosaleen shook her head gently at the woman's request.
"No, he seemed to have a rough night. I will be quick. I plan to apparate there and back."
Hermoine and Ginny were listening intently to the conversation, though their backs were turned and they busied themselves with dinner preparations. Hermione wondered what kind of business Professor Jasper needed to see to and she wondered why Lupin was upstairs all day and had not made an appearance all morning or afternoon. It was rather unusual to see the two apart, rarely were they not at each other's sides.
Hermione rinsed out a shiny, silver pot and as she poured the warm water into the sink, she noticed something curious. She saw Mrs. Weasley behind her, gesturing with her hands to where Professor Jasper should be. Professor Jasper should have been there, however, it looked as though Mrs. Weasley was conversing with thin air. Hermoine turned and looked over her shoulder at the scene and saw that Professor Jasper had not moved.
Hermoine held up the pot again and used it to look behind her. Professor Jasper was no where to be seen. Ginny gave Hermione an odd look and opened her mouth to speak.
"What are you doing, Hermione?"
"Shhh..." Hermione asserted forcefully, signaling for her friend to remain quiet, "I'll tell you after supper."
Mrs. Weasley sighed in mild defeat, seeing that Rosaleen was set on going to London alone, "Just be careful, dear. We'll miss you at supper."
"I'll be home in a while. As I said, it should not take long. I will see you soon, Mrs. Weasley." Rosaleen picked up her coat from the coat rack in the hall and called to the girls, "I'll see you a little later girls!"
Hermione and Ginny turned from the sink and called in return, "Goodbye, Professor."
After Rosaleen exited Number 12, she walked down the street and secured herself in a dark alley, where no muggles could see her and apparated to The Leaky Cauldron. Rosaleen opened her eyes and found herself underneath the swinging sign of her destination. As she stepped inside, she saw that the tables were filled with wizards and witches enjoying drinks and food.
Rosaleen made her way to the corner table, where she thought she could observe the whole room fully. Before she could sit down, she felt someone behind her grab her wrist. She tried to turn around, yet she heard a familiar voice in her ear.
"Don't call attention to yourself, Professor. Slowly turn around and then follow me." Snape's slow drawl whispered. He released her hand and she turned around to see him at least five paces ahead, his black robes fanning out behind him. Rosaleen began to walk just as Snape turned a corner. She walked quickly, hung a left and then saw him walking down a dusty corridor. She nearly sprinted to keep up with him, and felt the frustration beating in her chest.
He turned left again and when Rosaleen followed him, she found herself inside one of the guest rooms. She struggled to catch her breath and looked at Snape in a furious manner, though he payed her no mind and began removing ingredients for the potion from a small bag.
"Do you mind telling me what that was all about?" Rosaleen's voice came out strained and fighting for air. Snape turned around quickly and leered at her.
"I didn't think it wise to call attention to ourselves, the Malfoys are here." Snape's voice was low and serious. Rosaleen shrugged apathetically.
"The Malfoys?" Snape sighed and turned to her slowly.
"If you don't know who they are yet, I'm sure that you will find Potter's account more interesting than mine. Now, shall we accomplish what we came here to do or are you going to waste time with your questions?" Rosaleen crossed her arms across her chest and emitted a small, frustrated grunt.
"Very well, Professor." She walked to the other side of the table and faced him. She removed her coat and threw it on the chair to her right. Her face remained unamused with the situation and she rolled up the sleeves to her blouse to her elbow.
"What can I do to help?" Rosaleen tapped her foot impatiently and watched as Snape looked at her, his black hair hiding some of his face.
"If I remember correctly, I am making the potion and you are supervising because you claim that I somehow tampered with the last batch." Snape hissed. Rosaleen sighed again and waved him on.
"Go ahead, then. You have my full attention." She watched as he added ingredients into a cauldron and continued to tap her foot on the floor. After minutes of tapping unconsciously, Snape looked to her in an angered way and then to her foot. The toe of her black high-heel froze when she realized what she was doing. She felt his eyes travel from her shoes and up the length of her bare legs and her skirt. Rosaleen felt flushed in the face and snapped at him.
"Stop staring at my legs and get on with the potion. I'll stop tapping or making any noise whatsoever." Snape pulled his eyes from her attire and masked his surprise with a scowl. She was an infuriating presence and she was distracting to look at.
"You'll have to acquire the appropriate attire before term starts, Professor Jasper. You can't go gallivanting about the school like that." Rosaleen looked down to her knee-length black skirt and gray, button-up blouse. She was dressed like a librarian!
"I realize you lot wear robes around here, but I have never had to. I bought some yesterday at Diagon Alley. I don't know many witches or wizards in the States, so normally, I dress like a muggle." Snape stirred the contents of the cauldron and avoided looking at her.
"The potion is almost ready." Rosaleen shook her head and laughed. Snape looked up at her, a harsh look on his face. Was she laughing at him?
"Your not much for small talk, are you?"
"No." He answered gruffly. He straightened up and appraised her discretely, though he still frowned at her, he allowed his eyes to wander freely and he continued, "Small talk is something that Lupin would do, not I."
"Let's not talk about, Remus." Rosaleen felt her voice lower in sorrow, remembering what had happened just hours ago in the study. He confused her so with his actions and his words and how he pushed her away.
Snape allowed his eyebrows to raise in curiosity and growled to her, "Lover's quarrel?"
Rosaleen shook her head vehemently and sighed, "No, Professor Snape. Just a bump in the road, and Remus is my friend nothing more."
She felt a sting in the pit of her stomach, knowing that at that point in time, she wondered if they were even friends. Remus Lupin was not the debonair playboy, but a kind and caring man that she had identified so much with. Why couldn't he see that he couldn't hurt her, that he could touch her and she would not break? Why couldn't he see that she was not better than him, but he far better than her?
While she stood silent in her reverie, Snape poured the potion into a long, glass bottle and strode over to her. He held out the potion for her to take.
"Do you want to try it and see if it is poisoned?" Snape spoke in a low voice.
Rosaleen looked up to him, a vacant look in her eyes and sighed. She shook her head and took the bottle from him, her hand brushing against his for a moment. Snape was astonished at the coldness of her skin, wondering if it was just poor circulation in her hands or if she was that cold everywhere.
Before he knew what he was doing, Snape placed his hand to her cheek and brushed his fingertips downward to her neck. Rosaleen didn't know whether to be repulsed or angry and knock his hand away, but she didn't. Instead she closed her eyes and stepped closer.
Both of his hands cupped the base of her neck and his lips crashed down upon hers. Rosaleen and Snape fell into an odd tug of war; she was not sure if the kiss was out of curiosity or spite; perhaps it was some form of attack. It was void of emotion and born out of pure want.
She felt his arms pull her to him, nearly crushing her. Her hands clawed at his back as their lips continued to move against each other. Snape pulled her towards the bed and eased her down on it, her back flat against the musty mattress. He released her mouth and hovered over her for a moment, just to see the look in her green eyes and she pulled him to her again. She opened her mouth against his and heard him emit a low growl, his hand ran up and down her leg.
Rosaleen didn't know what she was doing, it was so unlike her. At the time, her confusion and hurt over Lupin was numbed and wiped from her mind. It was like a tourniquet for her emotional bleeding. Snape was completely opposite of Lupin. He did not seem to care about her, but he wasn't afraid to touch her. Rosaleen did not really like Snape, but she liked the way it felt.
As he was working the buttons of her blouse Snape drew in a sharp breath and clutched his left forearm in what seemed to be pain. Rosaleen sat up on her elbows, her blouse halfway undone, and watched as Snape collected his things in silence.
"What's wrong? Where are you going?" Rosaleen's brow wrinkled as she spouted out the questions. Snape sighed in an irritated manner, but did not turn to look at her.
"I must go. Take the potion tonight. It should work." He picked up the case with the potion ingredients in it and headed towards the door. Before he turned the door knob, he looked over his shoulder to her and saw that she was buttoning her shirt. A smile played at his lips, but he did not allow it to show as he called to her, "Meet me outside tomorrow night, beside the building. I know of a place where we can go."
Snape walked through the door briskly, without even a goodbye. Rosaleen pulled herself from the bed. She was more than befuddled by the whole scenario and then felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She had pinned her feelings for Lupin on someone who she did not care about, who she had nothing but disdain for. Snape made her feel numb and empty, which at the time felt better than the heartache she had been feeling since the night before.
When Lupin had kissed her, it was emotional. She knew he cared about her and she wished she could convey to him how much she cared about him. Yet she was betraying her feeling for him with whatever had just happened with Snape. And she felt even more guilty and cheap that she was tempted to meet Snape the next night. She would have thought that it was the Imperius curse, if she didn't know any better. But alas, it was not the truth.
She picked up her coat and the potion and prepared to disapparate to the alley by Grimmauld Place. She had to talk to Lupin, before she did something that she might regret.
A/N: Sorry, I haven't updated in awhile guys, classes are really getting my goose. Hopefully the next few weeks will clear up and I will have more time to write. Anyway, I am hoping that this 12 page chapter will make up for everything and tempt you all to keep reading. Next up: Rosaleen talks with Lupin (again), Hermoine does some research and tells Harry, Ron and Ginny what she saw, Rosaleen and the kids leave for Hogwarts, Lupin struggles with his feelings, and Rosaleen considers Snape's offer. But will she go through with it? Stay Tuned!!!
To Lyta: More Snape to come I assure you! Especially when the story moves to Hogwarts and Lupin is not readily available. Rosaleen is going to become more entangled with each chapter. I hope you enjoy this chapter and that you continue to review!
To Pixy: Here's the next chappie! Tuck in and enjoy!
To Angel of Harlem: "Walk On?" That's a cool choice. "Ground Beneath Her Feet"? Lovely. You may need to think of a Rosaleen/Severus song for the time being, since now they are embroiled in some interesting events. How about that new U2 video??? "Vertigo" rocks and there is only 18 days until the new album comes out! Yippee! By the way, I am completing an extra-long chapter for Halla and Boromir. I will have it up shortly...smoochies for Faramir. I just had to set the right mood for the situation and it has taken a while to evolve, I'm so sorry for the wait! Please write back!
To Larka Avilak: Thank you for the review! Please let me know how I did with this chapter!
To AstarelUndomiel: Thank you for the lovely compliment on my writing! Rosaleen and Lupin are pretty well suited for each other. He is completely enamored with her and she deeply cares for him, but he pushes her away to protect her. Because of his solitary life and condition, he is not sure why she would want anything to do with him. It's interesting though, when she takes up with Snape–because he is a distraction from the loneliness she feels by Lupin's distance. I am thrilled that you like the story. Please continue to let me know how I do.
To Erlina Elf: Yeah, Remus did drop the ball, but he pushed her away to protect her, though she thinks that it is silly and she wants him just as much as he wants her. Now, he may have driven her into Snape's arms. I personally know that Rosaleen doesn't want to hurt Remus, but there is something about Snape. Please review again!