Later that day, Nami's group emerges from the other side of the cave and, as Nami had guessed, found the now-quite-battered-looking bag containing Jack and Kai just outside of the exit. Nami pulls the twitching bag up onto her shoulder and continues on with the others.
"Jack, have you learned something today?" She asks, looking at the bag and still unsure if anyone inside was conscious or not.
"Yes..." Comes Jack's weary voice from within. "Do not... insult... the maintenance issues."
"The WHAT?"
"Umm, the, the... trademark imperfections?"
"IMPER-"
"I mean, uhh... the... unique... essence of... sheer loveliness that is your own exclusive perfection?" Jack corrects himself, and out of mainly fear, actually saying something that some could consider a poetic little buttering-up.
"Hmm... Yes, that sounds better." Nami says, giving a small smile and continuing on their way. She was in a slightly better mood now, to everyone's massive relief.
The next few hours of their journey are incredibly boring and unimportant, so now the focus will be switched to Miro's company.
-
"Ah, doesn't this forest just shine with the beauty of ages, my sweet?" Kate asks Miro, both of whom were walking practically against each other.
"No, it is not that, but your own radiance that fills this place with such great artistry." Miro corrects her.
"You are so sweet... Speak Spanish to me." Kate requests.
"Well... I don't know any, really." Miro admits.
"Oh, well then, speak in that accent again."
"Gladly." Miro says, going into his unnaturally good accent. "Your very footfalls upon this grimy landscape refresh it and bring new life to all things around them. Your very glance is enough to give me strength and keep me moving through this weathered path. The very memory of you could make my once-cold heart burst with feelings that I may have thought to be long forgotten..."
At this point, the group had at least removed their poorly-fitting outfits and returned to their original things. Yet still, the cost for the success of their toll booth crossing was making progress either a blessing or a fate worse than having seventeen chopsticks shoved into either eye, depending on who you were at the moment. Ricca, Anna, and Matthew trudge ahead of the other two, clenching their stomachs in defiance of their very-much-enforced need to puke. Matthew was the first one brave enough to open his mouth and speak.
"We need... to anger Miro... soon..." He says.
"But the only thi-" Anna begins, but is interrupted by a vomit reflex action that she only barely manages to swallow back down. "...But the only thing that we know is good enough to snap him out of it is a slap by a fish. And we don't have any."
"...Then we'll find something else." Ricca says. "I mean, it couldn't be too difficult to get Miro mad."
"Yeah, not usually, but..." Matthew says. "This is, like, super-harmonious-peaceful-low-key-bland-tranquil-and-totally-serene Miro. We COULDN'T get him mad before, how can we now?"
"Well, maybe a slap by something else will work?" Anna suggests.
"I still think that killing Kate would be an understandable measure to go to." Ricca says. "Better her than us."
"True, but..." Matthew begins. "I have a theory."
"Another one?" Anna asks.
"Yes." Matthew says. "If Miro sees Kate in a state of injury or, as our case would be, death, there just might be a chance that..."
"What?" Ricca asks. "I don't care about dramatic pauses right now, my gut is clenched up as it is."
"Oh, right..." Matthew says. "There's a chance that the trauma it would cause him would make him go totally 'poetic justice' on us all."
"Can you explain?" Ricca asks.
"Yes." Matthew says. "Now bear with me, this might be a bit complex. Miro has a counter-balance of emotion, one end of it is made primarily of his mother's side, which is usually dominant, and the other end of it is made mostly of his father's side, which is surpressed until the moment he allows its release to be made. Now, when the release is made, what thing does he seem to focus every facet of his mind on?"
"Kate, duh." Ricca and Anna say.
"Exactly." Matthew says. "Now, if harm befalls Kate, Miro would obviously make a response when he is in this state. And if Kate is injured or if she meets her end, and Miro sees... He might have a reaction of huge proportions..."
"How?" Anna says.
"If I am correct with this theory, his romantic side would be shocked and possibly crushed, and as thoughts of anger go into his mind, his dark side would rush out in an almost supernatural manner. Not only that, but it would be fuelled by the deep feelings of his romantic side, and the two would fuse in a chemical reaction that would spontaniously activate his adrenaline glands, speed his respritory and circulatory rate, sharpen his mind's reaction time, and possibly amplify his average physical ability by a measure of between 1.5 and 3 times its normal amount."
"..."
"..."
"Err... He'll get really, really, REALLY mad." Matthew says in response to Ricca and Anna's blank stares.
"How mad?" Ricca asks.
"Well, in scientific standards... 'InuYasha with an ear infection' mad." Matthew says.
"Ooh... so, bad idea?" Anna asks.
"Immensely bad idea." Matthew says in agreement.
"Well, we have to do something..." Ricca says. "I mean, we can't just leave him like this, can we?"
"Not if we want to keep our sanity - and our lunch – in check." Matthew says. "But I don't know what we could do..."
"I have an idea!" Anna says, pointing ahead of them. "We can go fishing in that pond!"
"You mean the... bog?" Ricca asks. "...Well... I suppose it's our only choice. Miro! Kate! We're taking a break for a while! So just... get yourselves comfortable... but not too much, we can do without 'best-left-censored' noises coming from back there!"
"Worry not, you have my word." Miro replies, without even prying his gaze from Kate.
"...Right..." Ricca replies.
A few minutes later, Matthew, Ricca, and Anna are sitting on the edge of the bog, fishing. Well, at least Ricca and Anna were. Matthew had not brought a fishing rod with him, so he simply sat down and stared into the stinky, bubbling bog in hopes of a fish jumping up and landing on his lap.
"I really doubt if there are any fish in here." Ricca says, tugging at her line with a bit of impaitence.
"Just be paitent, I'm sure that something will come up." Matthew says, resting his head on his hands.
"...Hey, does anyone have anything to talk about? Y'know, just to pass the time?" Anna asks.
"No." Ricca replies. "We've been living in Mineral Town ever since we were born. Our lives have basically been 'wake up, do a chore, walk around, talk, eat, try to convince Doug that we're old enough to sample a wine, sleep, repeat'."
"That's not true." Matthew says. "...Sometimes there's a festival."
"Oh, yay," Ricca says sacastically. "So sometimes we get to lose contests, watch chickens wrestle, and supply ourselves with enough buckwheat flour and rice cakes to last a lifetime."
"Well, it's better than nothing." Matthew says.
"Only barely." Ricca replies.
"...Ricca, you've been really bitter lately." Anna says, looking over to her. "Is something wrong?"
"What are you talking about?" Matthew asks. "She's always like this."
"Yeah, but, she used to be... less like that, back when the whole group was together. Y'know, back when William was with us." Anna says.
"Where are you going with this?" Ricca asks, glaring over at her.
"Err, nowhere, but..." Anna begins, slightly nervously. "It's just that William was the only person who ever made you smile."
"Ugh, I smile once and it follows me for the rest of my life..." Ricca says in frustration. "Listen, he was just being stupid. I was laughing at him, not with him."
"Oh, don't lie, Ricca." Matthew says. "I saw you two that one time at the dock, I know-"
"We were placing our bets for the Horse Races that were going on the next day." Ricca says. "We were just splitting our money between us."
"I see." Matthew says. "Well, what about that time at the Town Square?"
"We were counting the number of cobblestones on the ground, we had nothing else to do." Ricca replies.
"And at the Hot Springs?"
"I didn't go in, I was just soaking my feet. I didn't even notice him."
"The roof of the Poultry Farm?"
"Tic-tac-toe."
"Mother's Hill?"
"Arm wrestling."
"The Fireworks Festival?"
"...Watching the fireworks, duh. We were all there in a group."
"Yeah, but you two were pretty close."
"I was tired, I needed something to lean on."
"And you didn't just use the post that you were standing next to?"
"William's squishier. Now, if you're done admitting that you've been stalking me and William constantly, let's get back to the task at hand."
"Right." Matthew says, looking back to the oozing pit in front of them.
"Hmm..." Anna says. "You know, I'm starting to believe Ricca. There's probably nothing here."
"Just wait..." Matthew says. "...Like I said before, I'm sure that something will come up."
And indeed, at that moment, something did. However, in some bizarre twist of irony, it was a thing that could only be defined as 'something'. A huge, thick tentacle shot up from the swamp, writhing around in the air for a moment before stopping and directing itself at them.
"...This isn't going to end well..." Matthew mumbles. Once again, he was correct. The tentacle shot forward, wrapping itself around a bug-eyed Matthew's neck and yanking him into the bog before anyone had time to react.
The other two remain silent for a moment, blinking.
"...I'm not going in after him." Ricca finally says.
"Well... what should we do?" Anna asks. "Miro and Kate aren't going to help, they're too busy..." She looks behind her, and quickly turns back forward after seeing them. "...doing that."
"Well, let's just fish for him." Ricca says.
"...What bait should we use?" Anna asks.
"Anna, I really don't think it matters." Ricca replies. Then, after the two had reeled in their lines, they cast them into the water again, approximately where they saw Matthew go in.
"...Hey, I got something!" Anna says happily.
"Me, too." Ricca replies. "On three, we pull. One... two... three!"
The two yank at their lines as hard as they could, reeling in and straining to get their hooks to the shore. Finally, in a sudden 'thlock'ing sound, the catch was yanked onto the shore. However, this wasn't exactly what they were looking for. It also explained why it was so immensely difficult to get the thing out of the water. The mysterious food connissuer known only as the Gourmet leaps from the bog, his tremendously ugly fuschia suit still sparkling clean, and lands in front of the two. He points over to Anna and opens his whale-like mouth to speak, the two fishing lines still hanging out of it.
"Your choice of bait was simply breathtaking, it leaves me with dreams of being a real fish just so that I may have an excuse to try it every day!" He says happily. He then turns to Ricca.
"However, yours is best left uncommented on. I found that its texture is questionable and its taste was quite uncooperative with my tounge."
Anna and Ricca look at each other for a moment. The same exact thought went through their minds and they nod silently.
"Catch and release." They both say, removing their hooks from the Gourmet's mouth, grabbing him by either arm, and tossing him back into the bog.
"Let's try this again." Ricca says, the two throwing their lines into the murky waters yet again. Quickly, they get another bite, and they begin pulling at their lines.
"Don't give him any slack!" Anna says.
"Do I ever give him slack?" Ricca asks rhetorically.
"Good point. Pull!" Anna says, and the two yank at their lines again, reeling in something that felt a lot more like Matthew. Finally, with a good jerk, they see Matthew's hat, and eventually the rest of his head, penetrate the surface. Spitting and gasping, Matthew looks at them.
"It's got my leg!" He yells.
"Uh-oh, then we'd better get him out in a hurry." Anna says, pulling again. However, for a moment, Matthew was pulled into the water again. A few seconds later, his head pops out of the water once more.
"No, please, take your time!" Matthew says sarcastically.
Ricca thinks for a moment. "I suddenly have the urge to cut my line..."
"NO!" Matthew yells.
"Kidding, kidding." Ricca reassures him. With that, the two begin pulling once more with every ounce of strength that they could muster up. These two were straining at their lines like bad actors at a Highschool play. And finally, with an unexpected release, the tentacle under the water lets go and sends Matthew shooting out of the bog. This also makes Anna and Ricca fall flat on their backs. Anna quickly got up, but it was a bit too quickly. Matthew, still in mid-air, smashes into her and they both land a good ten meters from where they started.
"Matthew, you're alive!" Anna says happily once they had regained consciousness.
"Anna, I didn't kill you!" Matthew replies, also quite happy.
"Get up, you two." Ricca says, standing above them.
"Oh, right, yes..." Matthew says, him and Anna quickly getting to their feet. "Oh, and look at what I found when I was down there, in that thing's stomach." He holds out something in his right hand.
A fish.
"Yes!" Anna says, half-strangling Matthew with a hug. "Not only did you not die, but you came back with a fish! You're the most useful person I've ever met!"
Ricca decides not to wait for this to end, and takes the fish from the red-faced-half-due-to-embarassment-and-half-due-to-strangulation Matthew. She then walks over to the unceaseingly wooing Miro and Kate, and taps Miro's shoulder.
"Miro," Ricca begins.
"Hmm, yes?" Miro asks, reluctantly prying his eyes from Kate and looking over to her.
Instead of replying, Ricca simply pulls her arm back and strikes Miro across the face with the fish. Miro remains silent for a moment, and then blinks once and speaks.
"Y'know... I'm not sure if I should say 'oww' or 'eww'."
"You should just be happy that I brought you back." Ricca replies, noticing that Miro's usual sarcastic tone has returned.
"Yeah, sure, but couldn't you have found ANOTHER WAY TO DO IT?" Miro says angrily, wiping slime from his face. "I hate it when people do that!"
"Exactly, that's what brings you back." Ricca says. "The total hate of it."
"A... Are you feeling well, dear?" Kate asks, looking at him with concern.
"Oh, right, we have to bring her back." Ricca says. "Well... What does she hate? She came back last time when you threw her off of you, I suppose we can do that again."
"Naah, I have a better idea." Miro says, looking over to Kate. "Hey, Kate, you're ugly."
"...WHAT?" Kate yells, drawing her fist and slamming it into Miro's jaw. Miro span once and hit the floor in a heap, groaning in pain.
"...Well, that was easy." Ricca comments. Suddenly, a few strange bubbles come from the swamp and pop, an odd smoke coming from them and wafting away. The group simply shrugs. assuming that it was just swamp gas.
-
Back at the adults' group, they simply walk along as they had been doing for the past few hours. However, interrupting this routine was a sudden puff of smoke, revealing the Gourmet in all of his vast uglyness. In his hand he held the Teleport Stone. He smiled at them.
"So... How did it go?" Elli asks him. "Did you find the kids?"
"Why, yes I did." The Gourmet replies happily. "And I must say, at least one of them has excellent choice in fishing bait!"
"...So where are they?" Mary asks. "You're not injured, so you must have won. Do you have them with you?"
"Umm... You wanted me to bring them?" The Gourmet begins, stammering for a moment. "Oh, umm, yes, it must have slipped my mind... Err, I mean, they were far too skilled, I didn't stand a ghost of a chance, really."
"...Shouldn't you be somewhat hurt if you actually fought them and lost?" Ann asks suspiciously.
"...Umm... Yes, I... I suppose..." The Gourmet replies, trying to think of smething he could do to get out of this. Suddenly, he clenches his chest and gasps.
"Augh! Cholesterol!" He says before collapsing to the earth, which in itself caused the ground to rattle.
Nami, who had remained silent until now, finally felt her impaitence take over. This was the last straw.
"That's it!" She yells angrily, dropping her bag and stomping over to the Gourmet's body. "If you people can't get my son back to me..."
She takes the Teleport Stone from the 500lb man's hands forcefully and holds it up in the air.
"THEN I'LL DO IT MYSELF!" She yells, vanishing in a puff of smoke that had actually turned red due to her anger.
Everything was dead silent for a couple of moments. No one dared to move or speak in light of this new development.
"So..." The Jack in the bag finally says, climbing out since it no longer had a carrier. "When Nami brings the kids back, does anyone want to go for a Blue Punch?"