Hello everyone! Here is another chapter. For those of you who read this story when it was posted a long time ago, before HBP, you should read this chapter. There is a lot that is different about the story from this point on.
Chapter Eight: Just a Feeling
Ron and Harry were gone for a lot longer than they had anticipated, and by the time they got home the sun was beginning to drop in the distance. They entered the house from the back door to find Hermione cooking dinner in the kitchen.
"Good you're back! I thought you guys were going to stay out there forever. When you didn't come back right away I decided to make a larger dinner to make up for the fact that no one had lunch, and it's almost ready. I checked on Jack and Lily about an hour ago. They're asleep in her room, and they both looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake them up. Who knows how long its been since they got some proper rest, what with school, then all that auror stuff they do, and then Qudditch camp, and then last night," Hermione continued to ramble on while she buzzed about the kitchen putting the final touches on their meal. When she noticed Ron was no longer listening she gave him an evil eye, "Ron why don't you set the table for the five of us, and Harry go and wake up Jack and Lily."
"They sleep in the same bed?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow at Ron.
"Yes, they do on occasion. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Both of them have the maturity level of someone two or three times their age." Harry still looked unconvinced, however, so Ron continued. "He's seventeen and she will be in a matter of months. Need I remind you what you were doing at sixteen and seventeen?"
Harry raised his hand in protest, "Now that's blackmail!" He knew he had been defeated. As much as he wanted to think of Lily as the little baby she was the last time he had seen her that was simply no longer the case. She was all grown up and should be treated that way.
Both men did as they were told without any further argument. They took their brooms and put them away in the broom closet. Harry walked up the stairs to wake the love birds up for dinner, desperately hoping he wouldn't walk in on something he really didn't want to see. He knew Jack was a great guy and that he would never hurt Lily, but she was still his daughter and he worried about her.
Up in Lily's bedroom Jack woke up to the aroma of his mother's wonderful cooking. Looking around he judged by the now very small amount of light in the bedroom he decided that it must be getting late. Looked down at Lily he saw she was still soundly sleeping, looking breathtakingly beautiful.
He heard his mother talking to someone downstairs and realized she most likely had dinner ready. He tightened his arm around Lily's waist and began to trail kisses down her neck and shoulder. He felt her begin to wake up yet he didn't want to stop kissing her. He kissed his way back to her neck from her bare shoulder and found the spot where he knew she was ticklish. She smiled with her eyes still closed and wiggled a little bit.
"You'd better stop that before you start something we can't finish." She turned over onto her back with him partially on top of her now.
He looked down at her and ran his hands through her hair. "Oh really, is that so! It just so happens I was having fun," He said, as he began to nuzzle her neck once more.
She laughed at him but this time put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, "I never said it wasn't fun. Just that this type of behavior is the start of something we can't finish with you're parents awake downstairs, I don't care how cool you say they are about us."
Jack wasn't really giving her any kind of verbal reply. He kissed his way up to her mouth and was surprised when she kissed him back with equal passion. After a few minutes he pulled away and looked down at her. She was right, if they didn't stop now he wouldn't be able to. But he did make a comment on something she had said moments before.
"So you're saying we could finish this if our parents were asleep?"
She laughed and hit him over the head the pillow from the other side of the bed, "Jack Weasley!" She said getting off her bed and started looking for something on the dresser.
"What are you looking for, love?" Jack asked still in awe of her beauty even though her hair was messy and her eyes puffy from all the crying she had done earlier.
"I'm looking for something to tie my hair back with," said while walking into her bathroom and searching the drawers for a clip. "It's really annoying me right now. I think I need a hair cut."
Jack lay back down on the bed on his stomach facing Lily who was standing barefoot on the cold bathroom floor still looking for her hair clip. He propped himself up on his elbows and gave her a dreamy expression, "I love you're hair long!"
"You would," she said under her breath in a sarcastic tone.
He got up and walked behind her, "What's that supposed to mean, Potter? And choose you're words carefully for they may be your last," he said as she turned around.
She smiled at him rather seductively and walked toward him putting her arms around his waist. She stood on her toes and began to kiss his neck the same way he had kissed hers moments before. "Have I told you I love you today?" She asked continuing to kiss his neck.
Suddenly forgetting how to form words Jack took several breaths before he was able to answer her. "Yes, you have in fact."
"Hmmm…" she said reflectively as she moved her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips. He pulled her closer returning her kiss. After a few moments they pulled apart rather out of breath.
"Now who's starting something?" Jack asked as she walked toward the dresser and looked for a sweater to put over her tank top. When she found a certain sweater in her drawer she threw it playfully in his face.
"This is your sweater, how did that get in with my stuff," she asked with her hands on her hips.
"I don't know, you tell me how it got there," he said throwing it back at her, "But you need a sweater because it's colder now than it was when we went to sleep so just wear that one."
She just smiled back at him and looked in the mirror as she pulled her hair back with the hair clip she finally located in the bathroom. Lily was never the type of girl who obsessed about her appearance. She seemed to have a natural beauty that he found irresistible.
There came a knock at the door and Lily told whoever it was that it was okay to enter. Harry pecked his head in the room as he opened the door and once he saw they were awake and out of bed he entered the room properly looking rather relieved. He looked at Jack because Lily had her head upside down as she tried to pin her hair up higher on her head.
"Your mother sent me up here to tell you dinner is ready."
Harry stopped talking abruptly when he saw the scars on her upper back. They were thin and white, beginning at her shoulder blades and running further than her tank top would allow him to see. Jack followed Harry's line of vision and saw what he was looking at.
"We'll be right down," She said as she straightened up and began to put Jack's sweater on over her head. Harry left the room and walked downstairs to join Hermione and Ron.
Her pony tale got caught up in fabric and prevented her from pulling it down any further. Jack couldn't help but laugh before he walked over to her and helped her pull the sweater over her head and over her hair. She had a thick head of hair and when she put it up like that it was not surprising that she had problems getting something over her head.
When her face was finally visible again Jack continued to laugh, "Good to have you back, Potter. I thought I lost ya there for a minute."
Lily put her hands on her hips and pretended to be angry, "Are you making fun of me, Weasley?"
Jack however was no longer joking around. He remembered what Harry had seen just moments before and asked her the question that had been on his mind since he left the room. "Lily, did you get those scars on your back when you were taken?"
Lily replied simply, "Yes, I got them on different occasions while I was in the prison. I have another deeper scar on my left side. It's up pretty high up though so that's why you've never seen it."
He didn't admit to already knowing about that particular scar, but it didn't stop him from wanting to know where it came from. "What did they do to you to give you a deep scar?" Jack asked taking a step towards her and wondering if he really wanted to know the answer to the question.
"I was stabbed," she said simply, looking down at the carpet.
Jack shook his head and took a deep breath to keep his temper in check. "I'm really sorry you had to go through that, Lil. I promise that I'll do what ever I can to make sure that nothing like that is ever happens again," he said putting an arm around her and walking downstairs. When they reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the dinning room, they heard the sound of a phone ringing.
"What is that noise?" Ron asked looking around.
"Lily, that's your cell phone!" Jack said as he walked into the kitchen and retrieved the phone from where it was charging on the counter and handed it to her. Then he sat down across from Harry, "Luis gave us cell phones so that he would be able to contact us even if he was around muggles," Jack explained.
Lily flipped the phone open as she sat down next to Jack. "Potter," she answered into the mouthpiece. "Yes, Jack's right here. We are just sitting down to dinner is this important…I guess that's fine but I should ask my aunt and uncle if it's…okay we'll see you then." Lily flipped the phone closed looking irritated, "Honestly, why does the man ask me a question if he doesn't really want to care about my answer?"
"What does he want this time?" Jack asked as he took a spoonful of potatoes.
"He's coming here tonight. He wants to talk to us…again," She said as she too took a spoonful of potatoes.
"One day I'm really going to give that man a piece of my mind. He can really be a pain in the ass at times," Jack said angrily.
"Jack, watch your language," Hermione warned.
"He's right Hermione. That man has done nothing but put Jack and Lily in harms way. He doesn't care about their safety. All he cares about is making a bust. I've heard things about him from people I know at the ministry. He's not widely known for taking much care in the people who work for him" Ron said looking at Harry.
Just then the back door opened and the man they were all just talking about walked in uninvited. Lily turned around and looked him in the eye, "You said you'd give us time to finish eating."
"I am going to give you time to finish eating. What I have to say will not take long and can be said in the presence of everyone here," he said folding his arms across his chest, "You two are leaving tomorrow on separate short missions. Lily you and your unit need to be ready and at your checkpoint by nine and Jack you need to be at the ministry by noon."
"What about the mission with what's his name this weekend?" Jack asked knowing Luis knew what he meant. He wasn't about to say the name Malfoy because he knew his father would know exactly what they were doing.
"I've got other people on it. I need you two on these missions tomorrow. Think you're up to it, Potter?" He asked with a twinkle in his eye. He knew this would make her mad.
"I'm up for anything, Luis," she said coldly looking him dead in the eye.
"Where are we going?" Jack asked.
"I can't give you any details right now. You shouldn't be gone more than a matter of days. Lily your mission could take longer than Jack's, but by only a week at most. Be ready to be debriefed and leave at your assigned times. Good luck and have a pleasant evening," Luis said as he disappeared.
Harry was really not liking this Richard guy any, "Who does this guy think he is barging in here like that as if he rules over their lives.? They're still in school for Christ's sake!"
"I've got a bad feeling about this, Jack," Lily said as she stared off into space not acknowledging Harry's outburst, and looking over at her he notice that she suddenly looked nervous.
"Yeah, I do too," Jack replied placing a hand on her back. He ran his hand across her shoulder blades trying to reassure her that everything was going to be alright, but she wasn't buying it.
"I'm sorry, Aunt Hermione, but I'm not very hungry. I'm just going to go on up to bed. If we have a mission tomorrow I don't know when I'll get to sleep next," she said walking around the table to Harry and kissing him on the cheek. "Goodnight Dad."
Harry smiled at her gesture even though he was raging mad about them leaving tomorrow morning, "Goodnight sweetheart. We'll catch up on some things when you get back." Lily nodded and forced a smile before leaving the room.
"If he doesn't send us somewhere else the second we get back," Jack added under his breath once she was out of hearing range.
"Do you have any idea where they're sending you?" Harry asked leaning forward.
Jack shook his head, "I haven't the slightest idea. I don't like this idea of separate missions though. They told us when we started going on missions that we would always be together. Luis better be careful where he's sending us though, at least until Lily's of age. No one knows we've trained as aurors and no one can know about it until the time is right."
They ate the rest of their meal in reflective silence. Harry noticed Jack didn't eat very much of his dinner, he spend most of the time staring at his food and pushing it around his plate. Thirty minutes later he stood up and announced he was going to go up to bed as well. He walked over and gave his mum a peck on the cheek before leaving the room.
"You don't think Luis would deliberately put either of them in harms way, do you?" Ron asked looking at Hermione as he pushing his plate way from him and resting his elbows on the table.
"I'd like to think he has their best interests at heart, but I really don't know anymore. It wouldn't be the first time he's put them in a dangerous situation. He seems to treat them as if they're his secret weapon. But something is up because this is the first time they have sent them on separate missions. As Jack said, they've always been together before," Hermione said looking at Harry with a serious expression.
"Whatever it is, he better hope neither of them get hurt. Or else he's going to have me to answer to," Harry said with determination. He couldn't help but feel helpless, and he also couldn't reason with the knots in his stomach.
Jack made his way up the stairs slowly. He walked over to Lily's room and stood outside the door listening. He was hoping she was still awake so that he could talk to her about all this. She looked scared for the first time about a mission earlier at the table, and he wanted to make sure she was alright. When he heard no sounds from inside the room he decided she must be asleep. He turned and entered his own room leaving the lights off. Thinking that a shower would do him good he stepped into the bathroom and turned on the water to let it warm up.
After spending close to thirty minutes under the scolding hot water he stepped out of the shower and slipped on a pair of boxers. When he opened the door however he noticed a body on his bed. He immediately knew who it was. Walking over to her he sat next to her on the bed and looked down into her loving face. She was on her back looking over at the window on the opposite wall. She stared at him blankly and then offered a small smile, though he knew it wasn't sincere.
"You took forever in the shower; I thought I was going to turn grey waiting for you to get done."
"I thought you were already in bed," he said running a hand through his sopping wet hair.
"I couldn't sleep," she explained looking up at him through her bright green eyes
"Well, you've come to the right place," he said standing up and turning off the bathroom light. He then climbed in bed next to her, who had gotten underneath the covers. She cuddled up next to him and rested her head on his chest as a pillow. "Is that better," he asked with a devilish grin.
"Much," she said not looking up to see him smiling.
"Are you scared about this mission tomorrow," Jack asked after a long pause, "Tell me the truth. I saw the look on your face earlier."
"Yes," she admitted snuggling closer to him, "I've got a bad feeling about it, Jack. I don't know how to explain it but something in the back of my mind is telling me something is going to happen on this mission."
"I know what you mean," he replied caressing her back gently.
"Can you promise me something?" Lily asked again without looking at him.
"Anything love," he was almost afraid to hear what she wanted him to promise. Her voice sounded serious.
"Promise me you'll keep on going no matter what happens," she said finally turning her head to face him.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means just what I said. No matter what happens while we're apart on this mission…I want you to keep on going."
"If you're saying you want me to keep living if something happens to you than I don't want to hear it," he said sitting up in bed and pushing her off him. He really didn't want to talk about this, and didn't understand why she was bringing it up. She was never one to talk about things that were this heavy.
"Jack, all I want you to do is promise me that you'll be happy," Lily said now sitting up as well.
"Lily, why are you doing this?" He asked leaning back against the headboard and crossing his arms across his chest.
"Because I know what kind of world we live in. I know the dangers and so do you. No one knows what is going to happen when we step outside that door tomorrow and it is not the time to leave things unsaid. All I want is for you to be happy," she said taking his hand in hers.
Jack looked at her in wonder for a few moments. He realized he shouldn't have thought this was such a shock coming from her. She always put everyone's happiness above her own. "Okay, I promise," he said pulling her to him and laying back down. He leaned forward off his pillow and kissed her softy on the lips, but when he went to pull away he found that he simply couldn't. Their kiss turned from one of innocence to one of deep passion.
Jack brought his hand down to her lower waist, and after a few moments he brought it up under her shirt and rubbed her bare back longingly. He rolled them over so that he was partially on top of her, and their kiss continued until he couldn't take it anymore.
"We'd better stop before I can't keep my hands off you," he said as his breath came at very uneven intervals.
She looked deep in to his eyes and before she said anything he already knew her words would be serious. "What if I told you I don't want you to stop?"
It took him a minute to realize what those words meant. "Are you sure Lil? We don't have to do this tonight…I don't want to pressure you into doing something you're not ready to do. I love you and I'll wait for as long as you need."
"I told you once I wasn't ready because at the time I was scared. Well, I'm not scared anymore and I'm ready to do this if you are," she said as she kissed his neck and her hands played with his curly hair.
He allowed her to continue for a moment before kissing her back on the lips. He broke their kiss one last time to answer her previous statement, "Okay, but I want you to tell if at any point you want me to stop or if I'm hurting you," he said in a rather uneven and raspy voice before he kissed her again.
Hours later Lily was sleeping in his arms. It was hard to believe what they had just done, yet he knew he would never forget it for the rest of his life. They truly were perfect for each other in everyway, tonight only proved that more.
He didn't sleep at all the whole night. He stared at the ceiling and spent the night thinking about the next day and all the days after that. He wondered when things had gotten so complicated. He wondered why he was holding Lily right know not knowing if he was going to see her again. He knew it was a silly thing to worry about. Their mission could be meaningless for all they knew. But something deep inside him said he had reason to worry.
Morning came far too soon. Jack had only been able to put his thoughts aside and get to sleep around day break. When the sun's light hit him square in the face he was forced however to wake up and start the day. Deciding he would take a shower before he woke Lily up, he got up out of bed being very careful not to disturb her sleeping body, and making sure to keep her covered up and warm.
After a short but refreshing shower he stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a pair of boxers and paused at the door looking at Lily who was still sound asleep. He could see her chest rise and fall despite all the blankets he had placed on top of her to keep her warm while he was in the shower. She looked completely at peace and content, more so than he had seen her in a long time. He crawled back in bed and encircled her body with his arms from behind.
"Jack…is it time to get up?" she asked turning around slightly to kiss his cheek but unable to move any further because of his grip around her waist.
"Yeah, I'm afraid so," he answered regretfully.
He raised himself up onto his elbows and looked down at her. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "I wish we could just stay this way forever." She opened her eyes and saw him staring at her intensely, and placing her hands behind his neck she pulled him down to her once more.
He returned her embrace equally and said in a low voice, "Careful Potter, a guy could get used to waking up and seeing your face every morning."
"You'll just have to get used to it then," she said giving him a soft kiss of the lips before hopping out of bed taking a blanket to wrap around herself. "I'm going to use your shower and by the time I'm done you'd better be out of bed and getting ready to go."
She closed the bathroom door lightly and seconds later Jack heard the shower running. She was only in there for about ten minutes before emerging wearing only a towel. "Hey Jack, do you think I could borrow a shirt so I don't have to walk back to my room in a towel?" The towel covered everything well, but it still took his breath away to see that she was not embarrassed to be around him with such a lack of clothes.
"Yeah…sure babe," he said tossing her a shirt that was on the back of his desk chair.
She caught the shirt and went over to the dresser and began looking through the book bag she had left in there from a few days ago. She had been doing some of her summer healer homework while Jack had been reading a book. This was often what they did to pass the time during the past two summers. The school year was so full of excitement that they enjoyed being able to sit and be together during the summer.
Jack walked over to her and turned her around to face him, "Good morning," he said kissing her longingly. Before he walked over to her, she had still been holding his shirt in her hand. When he kissed her however the shirt dropped to the ground and she wrapped her arms around his neck loosely.
"Good morning to you too," she said when they pulled apart. He handed her the shirt she'd dropped on the floor and she went to put it on. She emerged from the bathroom with the shirt on and the towel wrapped around her waist like a skirt.
"I like the fashion statement," he said as he fumbled through his closet trying to find his uniform. He turned around to face her with a funny concerned look on his face "Hey Lil are you alright?"
She looked puzzled, "What do you mean?"
"I mean about last night. I didn't…hurt you…or anything…did I?"
"No Jack, you didn't hurt me. And even if you did I know it wasn't on purpose. I'm glad we did this now rather than months ago or months from now. I think it was the right time for both of us," she gave him a quick kiss before going to her own room to finish getting ready.
An hour later the rest of the house was awake and downstairs, all except Lily and Jack who were still getting ready to leave. Harry and Ron were sipping coffee and reading the morning paper when the door bell rang. Hermione answered the door and led two men into the house. They were wearing auror uniforms. The men said hello to Ron and Harry before looking around for someone.
"Where's Lily?" the tallest man asked.
"She's still upstairs getting ready," Hermione said returning to the stove, "Would you like some breakfast guys?"
"No, Mrs. Weasley. But thanks anyway. We really need to get going," the man replied. He turned around and called up the stairs, "HEY POTTER, WE GOTTA GO!"
When neither of the men where around Ron said to Harry very quietly so that no one could overhear, "How many people know you're alive?"
"Just the head of the American auror department and you guys…why," Harry asked.
"Let's just keep it that way for now," Ron said turning away leaving Harry bewildered.
He heard the sound of people running down the stairs and when he stood up he saw Lily coming into the room pulling with a duffle bag over her shoulder. She walked over to him and gave him a warm hug, "I'll see you in a few days."
She then went to Hermione and Ron and said goodbye to them as well.
"I'll be fine Aunt Hermione," she said when Hermione looked at her with misty eyes.
"I know you know how to take care of yourself…its just you're so…oh never mind…Take care of yourself sweetheart and hurry home," Hermione finally said with a fake smile.
When she came to Jack, he gave her a massive hug, and lifted her up off her feet because she's so much shorter than he is. She turned to leave and walk out the door but he grabbed her arm.
"Robes," he said simply with a smile.
She looked down and realized she didn't have her auror robes on over her muggle workout clothing and started looking around. Jack reached into the hall closet and pulled out the traditional floor length black robes. She was about to leave again when he said, "Wand."
The other two male aurors just stood with their arms folded across their chests and grinning widely at the couple. Hermione, Ron, and Harry all did the same.
She patted her back pocket and noticed that it wasn't there. Jack just laughed and reached into his own back pocket retrieving her wand, "You left it upstairs. I thought you might be needing it."
She took the wand from him and put it inside her robes, "Where would I be without you?"
"Very unprepared," he said sarcastically.
She hit him in the gut playfully and hugged him again, "I'm really going to miss you, Weasley."
"Yeah me too. I have to say I've grown rather fond of you Potter," he said nearly crushing her body against his with some degree of urgency. She went to pull away but he held her to him tighter and whispered in her ear, "I love you…never forget that…no matter what. You hear me?"
He let her go and she kissed him lovingly. "I never have and I never will," she said still holding his hand as she walked toward the others. She let go once they reached the two aurors and Jack shook their hands.
"Take care of her for me, okay? She tends to loose her head and get a little hot headed when it comes to certain things," Jack said as he let go of the second man's hand.
"We'll watch out for her, Jack. Not that she needs it really. We've seen her in action, she can handle whatever this mission has got in store for us," the shorter man said looking at Lily with a smirk.
"Do you have to talk about me as if I'm not here," Lily said with her arms across her chest.
Jack laughed, "Okay love, I'll see ya in a few days."
Ron walked forward and placed a hand on Jack's shoulder for support, "Give'm hell, okay Lily!"
"Don't I always?" she replied grabbing her bag and walking out the door with the rest of her unit. She never looked back once.
Just a short while later it came time for Jack to leave as well. He'd spent much of the time since Lily had left up in his room getting his things together. He came downstairs just as he was about to leave for the ministry. He walked down the stairs to see his parents and Harry sitting in the living room. This was the part he hated. He hated seeing his mother get all upset whenever he and Lily left on a mission. He knew she was always scared to death that something was going to happen to one of them. She'd lived through a war and knew that possibility was not out of the question. He sighed deeply and set down his duffle bag to say goodbye.
"Everything is going to be fine, okay Mum? Lily and I will both be back in a few days and we'll both be fine," Jack said hugging his mother as he heard her sniffle.
"I just worry about you two. You're so young and you shouldn't be forced to deal with all this until your ready," Hermione said holding onto him tightly.
"I know. But unfortunately none of us were given much of a choice in all this. Come on Mum, don't cry! I hate to make you cry!" Jack said this in a pained voice as he rubbed her back and looked over at his father. Ron placed a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder and she backed away from Jack.
"Just be careful, okay Jack," Ron warned him as he placed an arm around Hermione who smiled sadly at their son.
"I'll try," Jack said picking up his bag and looking at his mother with a worried expression. "I can't promise you I'll get the chance to owl you. Some times they let us send letters but most of the time they don't."
"We know," Ron replied, "Come home soon."
"Okay, I will. Can you walk me out, Harry?" Jack asked nervously. Harry had the sinking suspicion that he wanted to talk about something away from his parents. The two of them walked out of the living room and out of the house. The early afternoon sunshine blazed before them and they could already tell it was going to be a warm and humid day around this part of England.
"Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" Harry asked once they were out the door and walking down the path.
"Yeah…Harry…I just wanted to talk to you about Lily. I know you don't know her very will yet. I really hope you two become close because she's a great woman and she deserves to have you in her life," Jack stated rubbing his brow and squinting in the intense sunlight.
"I'm really looking forward to spending a lot of time with her when you guys get back," Harry said hopefully.
"I guess I'll get right to the point…I just want to make sure that…that she's going to be taken care of something happens to me. I know it's a strange thing to ask. She's a grown woman and very independent. But I'm really asking you to do this to ease my own conscience. If something happens to me on this mission or any other…just promise me that you'll always take care of her and make sure that she's happy."
"I promise. But nothing is going to happen. Everything is going to be fine. Just like you told your mum inside," Harry reassured him and patted him on the shoulder.
"And now that we're on the subject of my parents…if something were to happen to me, I want you there when they're told. I hate leaving for these things because of the look on their faces when its time to say goodbye. Nothing is ever an easy when it comes to this stuff and they both know it. I'll feel better if I know you'll be there to help them through it."
"I will be. You just concentrate on doing this mission and coming home," Harry said giving Jack a hug and watching him walk down the path a little ways.
"Oh, and by the way, welcome home," Jack said before he disappeared with a loud POP. Harry smiled and stood there for a second before walking back inside to where he knew his friends would be waiting.
A week went by without any news from either Jack or Lily. Ron, Hermione, and Harry spent most of their time inside Ron and Hermione's house. They had decided they should stay on low profile since no one knew Harry was alive, because if they found out it may endanger one of the auror missions taking place. It unnerved Harry to no end not being able to know where Lily was and if she was alright. He passed the time getting to know Ron and Hermione's other children who were all brilliant just like their parents and older brother.
Harry was sitting in the living room, staring at the fire about a week after Jack and Lily left when Ron came into the room and sat down nervously. Ron had been at Hogwarts at a meeting with Professor McGonagall.
"I thought I would find you here," Ron said loosening his tie and leaning back in his chair.
"Couldn't think of anything better to do. I hate being cooped up in here," Harry informed him.
"I know you do, mate," Ron said looking around.
"What did McGonagall want?" Harry wondered
"She wanted to know if I thought you'd be interested in taking a job at Hogwarts next term," Ron said as if it were the most casual thing in the world.
"Are you serious?"
"Defense Against the Dark Arts would be what you would teach," Ron told him.
"Does she really think I'm qualified to teach?"
Ron turned to look at him, giving him a dumb expression. "Harry, is there anyone more qualified than you to teach kids about the dark arts? She asked me to talk to you about it and to tell you to give it some though."
Harry nodded. "I'll do that, Ron. Thanks."
Ron nodded his head. The two sat in silence for a few minutes before Ron looked over at his friend who was still staring at the glowing embers. "Harry, I actually came in here to talk to you about something else as well."
"What is it, Ron?" Harry turned his head to look Ron in the eye. He looked somewhat nervous or apprehensive.
"It's about Ginny," Ron told him looking away.
Harry could feel himself tense up at the mention of his former girlfriend. "What about her?" He asked trying to cover up his feelings.
"She owled us this morning. She's back in England."
"I…I take it she knows I'm alive?" Harry asked uncertainly.
"Yes, my parents told her last night. She's been unreachable for over a year now. She was protecting three children in America for a long time now and she hadn't been receiving any news. The job was completed last night, and she came home to the Burrow."
"She's at the Burrow?" Harry repeated trying to stall the conversation in order to allow himself to process this new development.
"Yes," Ron reiterated. "Harry, I think you need to go there and tell her the truth about what happened between you two. I'm not exactly sure I know what happened, but I know you did what you did for a reason. I understand that things ended badly between you two, but you need to explain to her why things went down the way they did. I'll never understand why you left her when you said you loved her so much. And I'll also never be able to understand how you met and fell in love with someone else so soon after going to America. But I guess that's not really my place anyway. But she is my sister, and I think you need to tell her the truth yourself."
Harry watched his friend's facial expression and knew he was serious. He took a deep breath and let it go before answering. "I never meant to hurt her, Ron. I really didn't. It's just that I-"
Ron held up his hand in midair to stop Harry from going any further. "I'm not the one that needs to hear this. You need to go explain things to her, now. There's another reason why I brought this up now. Ginny's opening an orphanage on the grounds at Hogwarts. It's been in the works for a while, but now it's happening. So if you take the teaching job your going to see a lot of her. You guys need to talk and clear the air before the start of next term."
"Ginny's opening an orphanage?" Harry asked bewildered.
"Well, it's really the ministry's orphanage. They just asked her to run it. They felt it was about time that they open one for strictly magical children. This will be the first one in England. They wanted it in a secure location and what's a safer place the Hogwarts."
"I see," Harry managed to say.
"Just go talk to her. If for nothing else than to give you both some form of closure," Ron pleaded.
"Okay," Harry agreed with hesitation. He had first hand experience with the Weasley temper, and he was pretty sure Ginny was going to be nothing short of furious. "Are your parents home with her?"
"Yes, which is the only reason why I'm suggesting you go over there now. She won't kill you while Mum is at home!" Ron informed him while grinning almost sadly to himself.
"I…um…guess I should get going then," Harry said reluctantly. He stood up and walked down several bleachers before he stopped and turned around slowly to face Ron once more. "For what its worth, there was never a day that passed by while I was away when I didn't think about her. I hoped that she was safe and happy somewhere. I never wanted things to turn out the way they did."
"I know, Harry. But I don't think she does, though. You owe her that," Ron told him wisely.
Harry turned around and walked towards the back door. He wondered how it would feel to see her again. For all the things he'd done to her, he knew he didn't deserve to see her. But Ron was right. It was time to deal with the past and all his mistakes, starting with Ginny.
The first thing Harry observed when he entered the Burrow was the thick aroma of Mrs. Weasley's cooking. She may be getting along in years, but she never stopped trying to bring her family together through fantastic meals. It was almost like being a teenager again. Coming home to another summer at the Burrow with his friends and surrogate family.
As he proceeded through the house he was reminded of so memories from years past. The last time he was here was just after Jack was born. Had that really been seventeen years ago?
He entered the kitchen and found Mrs. Weasley standing with her back to him, chopping something up on the cutting bored. "Hello, Mrs. Weasley." Harry said in a gentle voice so he wouldn't startle her.
Molly Weasley turned around and embraced the boy she had come to love as another son. "Harry dear, I'm so happy you came to visit!"
Harry immediately felt guilty because he really hadn't come to see her in particular. "It's been too long," he said as he returned her hug.
"I expect you're here to see Ginny?" Mrs. Weasley assumed as she released Harry and wiped her hands on a rag.
Harry was once again nervous and found himself stuttering over his words. "I…well I…yes, I am here to speak with her. Is she around?"
"She's outside, dear. I have to say she took the news rather well when her father and I talked to her last night. I think she may have been in shock."
"I know this will be hard. But I really think its best that I talk to her now, rather than let this go on any longer. What all did you tell her?"
Mrs. Weasley took a deep breath and thought back. "She already knew about Lily, and they have actually met a few times before. They always seemed to get along. Ron told her about Melissa when Lily came to Hogwarts. I won't lie to you Harry. She was devastated when she found out."
Harry bowed his head in shame. "I knew she would be."
"Last night we told her that you were alive and staying with Ron and Hermione. She was amazed that you would go to such lengths to keep your daughter out of harms way, but I think she realized that she shouldn't have expected anything less of you. I think she's gotten past being anger about the way things ended."
Harry looked up at her and smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I hurt her so badly."
Mrs. Weasley sighed again. "You only did what you thought you had to do. We could never ask anything more of you then that. You'd better go talk to her."
"I'll try to have her back up here in time for dinner," Harry said before turning and leaving the house.
He found the Weasley backyard basking in the sunshine like it always was this time of year. He saw a hammock stretched out between two closely growing trees. On top of the hammock, he saw a familiar redheaded woman. He took a shuddering breath and walked towards her. When he was a few feet from her, he stopped and tried to collect his thoughts before he let her know he was there. What could he possibly say to make this right again? It was then that he realized that it wasn't about making it right. It was just about trying to own up to a mistake he made a long time ago, a mistake that altered both their lives forever.
"Ginny"
The redhead on the hammock took a few seconds before she turned around to face him. She knew who it was by the sound and tone of his voice. As their eyes slowly met, she eased off the hammock and stood in front of him.
Harry half expected her to punch him in the face,Lord knows, he knew he deserved it. But for some reason there was something in her eyes that assured him that she wasn't really angry. She was only sad.
Seconds later Ginny did something that surprised them both. She took a quick step towards him and crushed her body against his in an almost desperate embrace. Harry was stunned for a second, but recovered quite nicely as he wrapped his arms around her. Suddenly, it was like no time had passed at all. He was a teenager again, and content to be in the arms of the woman he loved.
"Ginny…I missed you so much!" Harry managed to say as they continued to suspend time and hold onto each other for dear life.
"Harry," Ginny whispered into his ear. It almost sounded like a prayer.
He slowly pulled away from her, but continued to hold her at an arms length. Her hair was shorter than it had been and she looked more mature. He smiled at her as be began to recognize all the little things about her that he didn't realize he had forgotten. "Here, let me look at you. God, you're just as beautiful as the day I saw you last!"
"Oh, I don't think so," Ginny replied as her cheeks flushed a modest red.
"Gin, you don't know how good it is to see you again," Harry told her sincerely.
"Do you want to sit with me?" Ginny asked sensing the approaching awkward silence.
"Sure," he told her as they took a seat on the hammock. They sat there for a few seconds, both of them waiting to see if the other would speak up first. Harry came to the conclusion that he should be the one to test the waters, seeing as how he had created this mess.
He whipped his sweaty palms on his jeans and began speaking rather nervously. "I…um…I bet you have a lot of questions for me, Gin. Go ahead, ask me anything you want. I promise to answer as best I can."
Ginny let go of a shallow breath and looked him in the eye. "I was completely blown away when my parents told me you were alive last night. I didn't really know how to feel about it. I mean I'm thrilled that you didn't die like we all thought you had, but…er…this was so much easier to understand in my head." Ginny massaged her temple with her hand and looked over at him nervously.
"It's okay, Gin. I get it. I was so surprised by the way you reacted when I walked up. I was expecting you to hex me or something," Harry said truthfully. He waited for Ginny to say something or ask him a question. When she continued to say nothing, he spoke up again. "Maybe we should start with why I left?"
"Why did you leave?" Ginny asked in almost a whisper.
Harry launched right into his story. "I thought I was protecting you and your family. Ron and Hermione had just gotten married. You were just out of school. The war was finally over and all of you deserved some peace. Things seemed to be going great for you guys after so much suffering during the war, while I had threats following me wherever I went. Honestly, I could barely go into Hogsmade without someone making some kind of passing threat or comment. I just didn't want to bring you all into that. Not after all you had already been through." Harry found this hard to explain now that he knew what he had done was wrong. He should have stayed home with the people that loved him. But if he had done that, then there would have been no Lily, or Melissa.
"Harry, all we wanted to do was love you," Ginny said with tears welling in her eyes.
"Loving me was dangerous, for all of you," Harry dejectedly replied.
She looked over at him. "And don't you think you were worth the risk?"
Harry didn't even hesitate before answering. "No, at the time I didn't."
"You hurt us so much when you left. I don't think you realize just how much you meant to everyone."
"Gin, I could say I'm sorry to all of you a million times, but it would never make up for the things I did. I can't really say I would change it if I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now, especially with Lily. But I do regret the pain I caused everyone." Harry had to look away from the years of heartache he saw shining in her eyes.
Ginny kept her eyes on Harry long after he looked away. She squared her shoulders and asked the question that had been on her mind for years. "Did you love her?"
Harry slowly turned to face her. "Yes, I did." He knew who she was talking about without further clarification.
"Why was it okay to love her, and not me?" Ginny's eyes glazed over and Harry had to look away, yet again.
"Ginny, I would have never been able to face your family again if something had happened to you because of me."
She shook her head. "They never would have blamed you-"
Harry held up his hand to stop her. "I know they never would have said so out loud. How was I supposed to look into the eyes of the only woman I have ever thought of as a mother, knowing that I caused the death of her only daughter?"
She narrowed her eyes. "Harry-"
Harry stopped her again. "Gin, look at you! You're safe because I pushed you out of my life."
"I'm miserable because you pushed me out of your life," she said with a level voice.
"So am I," Harry replied in a low whisper, almost to himself more than her.
"Harry, you don't know what would have happened if we had stayed together. I just don't understand why you turned to someone else." Ginny shook her head in a vain attempt to understand what had gone wrong between them.
"I was not looking for someone to replace you in my heart, Gin. That would have been impossible. I was simply looking for someone to help me forget about you, so it wouldn't hurt so much. I know that sounds horrible, but it's true. I was looking for a distraction. Melissa was there when I needed her to be that someone. She had no family. She lost her parents at a younger age than I did. Most of her friends had died during the war. She had no one."
Ginny's eyes were growing angry beneath her tears. "So you felt sorry for her! Is that it?"
Harry stood up from the hammock and ran his palm through his hair in frustration. "Ginny, don't you understand! I used her! I used her because I needed someone to help me forget about you, and it killed her! I'm the reason she's dead! I killed her! I'm the reason my daughter doesn't have a mother!" Harry stopped pacing and fell to the ground in a heap. He realized that he'd never voiced his feelings about Melissa's death to anyone, until now.
Ginny watched Harry put his face in his hands and though she could not see the tears fall from his eyes, she saw the fall into the dirt below him. She got up and walked over to him. Sitting down next to him, she placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to offer him some kind of comfort.
"I didn't deserve Melissa, and I didn't deserve you either," he said stubbornly.
"Harry, she was killed by death eaters. You did nothing that caused her death."
"It's who I am that caused her death. If she hadn't loved me as much as she did, then she would still be alive."
"And you wouldn't have that wonderful daughter who's hopefully going to marry my dashing nephew," Ginny pointed out.
"Lily's suffered as well because of who she is. I don't know how she can even look at me after all the pain I've caused her. I was the one who left her to grow up in that orphanage. I'm the reason why she was kidnapped and tortured and-" Harry continued to ramble in his head, though he didn't have the strength to speak out loud.
"Harry, you only did what you thought was right at the time. Has Lily expressed any anger towards you because what you did?"
Harry didn't answer her right away. He looked down at the ground and took several breaths. "No, she hasn't."
"You're her father, and she loves you. Can't we just put the past behind us and move on with the rest of our lives?"
Harry turned to face her. "You've changed so much. I thought you were going to kill me when I came here to talk to you about all this."
"I've had a lot of time to think about all the stuff that happened back then, Harry. I've thought about it and come to the conclusion that I don't what to think about it anymore. Can you do that? Can we be friends?"
Harry looked at her in amazement for a second or two. "I'd love that."
"So would I."
Harry and Ginny spent much of the next few days talking at the burrow and exchanging letters when he was at Ron and Hermione's. They had no where near fixed things, but it was a least a start. Harry was glad that Ron made him face her at last.
Jack ended up coming home two weeks after they had left. He showed up very early one morning unannounced and nearly scared Harry to death when he appeared in the living room before everyone else was awake.
"Hi Harry," Jack said brightly.
Harry jumped up with his wand pointed at his godson, who held his hands up in surrender. Harry laughed to himself at his overreaction. "Sorry about that Jack. But you scared me half to death! How was your mission? Where you guys successful?"
"I guess so. It seemed rather pointless actually," Jack said sitting down on the couch and rubbing his knees, "Where is everybody?"
"Nobody's awake yet, and Lily still hasn't come back yet," Harry added.
He looked very surprised to hear this news. "What…I thought for sure they would have been back before us because we took so long. That's weird."
Just then Hermione and everyone else came down the stairs, most likely having heard Harry's scream when Jack apparated into the room. The rest of that day was spent with Hermione fussing over her son and how tired he looked. Later that night Jack went up to bed, but before he entered his bedroom he saw Lily's light on and walked in to find Harry standing there looking around with his hands deep in his pockets.
"Hey Harry," he said coming into the room and sitting down in the familiar armchair by the window. "I don't know how many hours Lily and my brothers and I have spent in here over the years playing games or doing summer homework."
Harry nodded and looked around the room. The walls were painted pale green. A trunk bearing the Hogwarts and Gryffindor crests was sitting at the base of the queen size bed. She had a large shelf of books and a desk that still had some open school books on it. He picked up one of the books and recognized it as one issued during auror training.
He put the book down and took a cleansing breath, "Where do you think she is Jack?" he asked abruptly.
Jack sat in the arm chair with his elbows on his knees staring at the ground. He shook his head, "To tell you the truth, I have no idea. I wish I knew. I wish I could sense her like I usually can, but for some reason I can't. She might be too far away," Jack said now sounding worried himself. "But, wherever she is I hope she comes home soon."
"I do too," Harry said before leaving Jack to sit up in Lily's room alone.
a/n- Just want to warn you, it may be a few days until I post another chapter. Tuesday night at the lastest. I have to work on the next few chapters a little before I post them. As always, please tell me what you think of the story so far. It may make me update faster...wink wink