a/n- Okay, sorry about the wait. Here is the next chapter. All I have to say is after you read this, please don't kill me!

Chapter Nine: How to Grieve

"I'm so glad you came, Harry," Hermione said looking over at her best friend from her hospital bed.

"What and miss the birth of my godson…not on your life!" Harry told her as he looked down at the sleeping infant in his arms.

"Tell us about America. What's it like there?" Ron asked from his place beside his wife's bed.

"America is alright I guess. Things are pretty busy pretty much all the time. But I hope that things will settle down sometime soon," Harry answered somewhat uncomfortably.

"We miss you when you're not around, mate. The last time you were home was just after we found out Hermione was pregnant. Don't you miss it?"

Harry looked at them both as if they were completely crazy. "What do you mean, do I miss it! Oh course I miss it! I so much sometimes it physically hurts to think about all of you back here having a good time without me." He looked back at his godson in his arms, afraid he had said too much.

"You're doing this to yourself you know," Hermione said regrettably. "You could be here with us all the time if you just came home to the people who love you. We'd like nothing better than to see you back in England where you belong."

"One day, 'Mione…one day we'll all be together again," Harry said quietly with a hint of sadness.

A much older and wiser Harry Potter woke from the dream he had been having with a start. He'd started having dreams about the past more since he came back to England, a fact which in some ways made him angry. There were many parts of his life he wished not to relive.

Deciding that he would not be getting anymore sleep, Harry got up and walked down the stairs into the living room only to find Jack asleep on the couch in the living room. There were some documents on the coffee table and Harry figured he must have fallen asleep working on them late last night. Harry walked over to him and gently shook him until he woke up.

"Why don't you go upstairs and sleep. Everyone is going to be getting up and you'll probably feel better in your own bed."

"I guess I just felt better sleeping down here last night," he replied. He didn't want to tell Harry the truth about why he didn't want to sleep in his own bed. He missed Lily so much and that was the last place they had been together before she left.

Seconds later the one and only Richard Luis walked in the house uninvited once more. "Jack, are your parents here?" he asked urgently.

"Yeah…why?"

"I think you'd better bring them down here. I'm afraid I have some bad news," he said with his hands deep in his pockets.

Jack walked to the bottom of the stairs and called for his parents to come down stairs. Ron and Hermione came down looking tired and confused when they saw Luis standing in their living room at such an early hour.

"You'd better have a seat," Richard said as he motioned them over to the couch. When he saw all four of them seated, waiting anxiously to hear what he had to say, he took a long breath and began, "Lily's unit was sent to a secluded part of Nigeria. About 24 hours after they arrived their camp was ambushed by death eaters. There were just too many of them for the unit to have any chance of escape. None of their team members made it out alive. I'm sorry to have to inform you, but Lily was pronounced dead along with the others when we finally found their bodies last night."

Harry felt like he was having an out of body experience. He was completely numb, and the voices of those around him sounded as if they were coming through a long tunnel. He looked around the room in disbelief. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be. Not Lily. Not his Lily.

"She will be given an honorable funeral as soon as her body is released. She died bravely and doing what she loved. Again I am terrible sorry for your loss," Richard said looking down.

Jack was in a rage, "Your sorry…THAT'S ALL YOU'VE GOT TO SAY IS THAT YOU'RE BLOODY SORRY. WELL I'M ARFAID SORRY IS JUST NOT GOING TO CUT IT THIS TIME. YOU SENT HER ON THAT MISSION, AND I HAVE A FEELING YOU KNEW THINGS WERE NOT SAFE FOR THEM TO BE GOING IN THE FIRST PLACE. I CAN SEE INTO YOUR MIND RIGHT NOW AND ALL I SEE IS GUILT. YOU AS GOOD AS KILLED HER AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED!" With that he stormed out of the house and into the back yard.

Hermione collapsed into the arms of her husband overcome with grief. Ron just sat there like a deer in headlights. This was so hard to understand. How could someone so full of life be dead? All Harry could do was sit there a stare straight ahead. He didn't cry. He didn't scream. He didn't do anything. He just sat there and thought about all the things he was never going to be able to tell her. All the things he should have told her when he had the chance.

Richard went outside and returned several minutes later with Jack tagging along behind him who still looked angrier than all hell. "I'm afraid I'll have to take Jack with me for a little while. I need him to identify the body."

Ron stepped forward handing a sobbing Hermione off to his son Andrew who had entered the room only moments before and was looking very confused, "You can't ask him to do that. I'll go if you need someone to identify the body. He'll remember seeing her like that for the rest of his life if you force him to identify the body. Let him remember her the way she was in live!"

Luis placed a hand on Jack's shoulder, "Unfortunately you can't identify her body legally Ron. You're not her father or even a family member."

"Well, neither is Jack," Ron countered.

"No, he isn't technically speaking. Lily has no family, she's an orphan. But in the eyes of the ministry and the auror department Jack is the closest thing to family Lily ever had. And he was after all Lily's partner, auror partner that is. The partner identifies the body in instances where there is no family, and unfortunately that is the case here. Its department protocol," Luis said looking over at Jack to hear his say in this, "I'm sorry about this Jack, but my hands are tied."

"It's okay Dad. I'll be fine," Jack said with no emotion whatsoever.

Somehow several moments later Jack found himself walking down a long corridor. He wasn't quite sure how he got where he was, but none of that really seemed to matter. He followed Luis as if he was in a trance. Luis led him through the hallway and to the final room on the left hand side. He opened the door and stepped aside to allow Jack to pass in front of him. In the room was a single bed with what appeared to have a body laying on it. A white cotton sheet was pulled up over the body's face to hide its image.

"Once again Jack I am truly sorry about what happened," Luis said with perhaps too much force.

"Save your apologies, Luis. They aren't going to comfort me …Let's just get this over with," Jack said crossing his arms across his chest and looking down at the body bracing himself for what was to come.

Luis stepped forward and pulled back the sheet enough to reveal the beautiful face of the only girl Jack had ever loved. Jack knew at once how the face belonged to. The black curly hair, small mouth, long eyelashes, he knew they belonged to Lily.

"Is this Lily Elizabeth Potter," Luis asked after allowing him a few seconds to study her face.

"Yes," Jack managed to croak.

"I'll need you to sign her death certificate, stating that you viewed the body and that it is indeed that of Lily Potter. I'll be waiting outside. You may take all the time you need to say goodbye," Luis said as he left the room closing the door behind him.

Jack walked closer to the body and pulled the sheet back a little more. Luis' words ran in his head "You may take all the time you need to say goodbye." How was he ever going to say goodbye? He knew he never would, so there was no need to even try.

She was still wearing the last thing he had seen her in. This was strange because aurors usually changed out of their uniforms after they began a mission. He picked up her hand and noticed was how cold it was. Taking a seat in the stool next to the bed he lowered his elbows to the edge of the bed and looked down at her.

The last night and morning they sent together came flooding back to his mind. If he had known it would be the last time he saw her alive, he would have thought of something better to say. Life was full of so many regrets, but the two of them had never had any regrets that came into direct conflict with their relationship, until now. It's funny how things turn out in the end.

Jack returned to the house very late that night. He seemed to have spent hours walking around downtown London, losing track of time. When he came home, he found his parents sitting on the sofa, sipping tea with blank expressions. Harry was sitting by the chair, staring out the window. When they heard Jack enter the room, they all looked up at him expectantly. In their eyes they all seemed to convey hope through their intense gazes. Hope that he would tell them that this was all just a terrible mistake, and that Lily was really alive and well. For a few seconds, all Jack could do was shake his head. Once he decided his voice could be trusted not to break, he looked Harry in the eye and spoke of the first time.

"I'm so sorry, Harry."

"It was her body, wasn't it?" Harry asked, almost needing to hear an answer beyond Jack's implications.

Jack nodded his head yes and slowly sat down on the sofa opposite his parents. "I don't even know what to say to you," he said hopelessly looking down at the carpet.

"You don't have to say anything, Jack." Harry said, not even bothering to blink back his tears.

"I never should have let her go out there on her own," Jack said putting his face in his hands.

"There was no way you could have known that…that…this could happen," Harry tried to console.

"Still…I should never have taken the chance," Jack said miserably.

Hermione rushed to her son's side and wrapped her arms around him. "This is not you're fault! Lily wouldn't want you to do this. Everything is going to be alright, Jack."

Jack gently shrugged his mother off of him and shifted away from her. "No mum, nothing is ever going to be alright ever again." With that, Jack stood up and walked hastily out the door from whence he just came a few minutes before. He didn't know where he was going; all he knew is that he couldn't stay where he was.

The next few days passed by in a whirlwind of tears and grief. Death is a hard pill to swallow, and in this instance it was also especially difficult to understand. The night they found out Lily was dead; Harry locked himself in his room and didn't come out for three days and three nights.

Jack didn't return for a day and a half after he walked out on his parents and Harry in the living room. When he was finally home, he was distant and cold to everyone around him. No one could ever understand the pain he felt, because no one had really known Lily Potter the way he had. He was the only person she had ever truly opened up to, and now she was gone leaving him empty and alone.

A funeral was set to take place at Hogwarts two weeks after Luis visit. There were constant delays in the process of getting Lily's body from the auror department. They withheld the body to conduct an investigation.

Unable to sleep about a week after the announcement of Lily's death, Ron came downstairs to find Harry sitting by the fire looking at some old pictures of Lily in photo albums. He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder as he walked passed and walked to sit in the chair across from him.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Harry asked looking at him.

"No," Ron answered slouching back in the chair.

"Where was this picture taken?" Harry asked pointing to a picture on the last page of the particular album he was looking at. It was a shot taken from far way at sunset. In the picture were two people standing with their arms around each other. They were standing next to a large tree and what looked like a gravestone.

"Oh…That was taken the day their friend Allan was buried. Hermione took it. I thought it was rather strange to take a picture at a moment like that, but she said they may want to look back on that day, and remember how much Allan meant to them," Ron said after looking at the picture briefly.

"And this one…where was it taken," Harry pointed this time to the picture right below it. It was of Jack and Lily dancing together at what looked like a wedding reception.

"Oh, that was taken just before they left for Qudditch camp this summer, just before you showed up at our door. That was at Bill's son's wedding."

"She is so beautiful," Harry said under his breath still refusing to refer to her in the past tense. He watched as Jack twirled her around the dance floor in the picture. "They looked so happy."

Ron took the album from him and looked at the picture smiling to himself. "They were always happy. No matter what was going on around them they always found reasons to smile, especially Lily. I remember this one time they were on this mission in the south of France. It must have taken place over Easter holiday because the battle at Hogwarts took place right after the holiday was over. The mission went to hell and they had to get out really fast. They flooed back here as soon as they found a fireplace they could use. Hermione and I were sitting in the here minding our own business when all of a sudden half a dozen bodies came flying out of our fireplace! They were all standing there with their hands on their knees trying to get their breath back. Lily stood up straight and said 'Well that could have been worse!' The entire unit fell to the ground laughing. She always wanted to lighten the mood," Ron concluded laughing to himself at the memory.

Harry smiled for a few seconds as he looked through some more pictures in a different album. He came to a picture of Lily standing by herself by the lake at Hogwarts. She looked so blissful watching the wind gently blow the waters surface creating gentle waves.

Unable to look at any more pictures he set the album aside and put his face in his hands. Ron spoke from his chair in a soft and comforting tone, "Nothing I say is ever going to take away the pain you're feeling. I know you think I can't understand what you're going through because I've never lost a child. But I want you to know that for nearly seven years Lily has been like a daughter to me. Hermione and I loved her as if she was our own child, and we are mourning her death as if she was our child as well."

"I know how much you all loved her, Ron. I am eternally grateful to you for all the things you gave her. I'm just upset that I never got to see her grow up," Harry said regretfully.

"She was so much like you. Every once in a while she would say something or do something and all I could think of was how much she reminded me of you. She had your spirit and your love for helping people."

He gave no verbal reply to Ron's statement, he simply nodded his head and they sat in silence for several minutes. He soon caught Ron glancing up at the ceiling and realized who he was thinking about. "You're worried about Jack aren't you?"

Ron nodded, "Yeah, I don't know what to say to him about all of this. I really don't know what he's going through. Lily was his best friend and he loved her so much. How is he ever going to get past this? I'm not even sure it's possible for him to get past this, and that's what scares me."

"They went through a lot together didn't they," Harry stated.

"They sure did. There is not a single one of his memories that have taken place over the last six years that doesn't involve her. Not only is he mourning the loss of the woman he loved, but he is mourning the loss of his best friend. That, however, is something I can relate to," Ron added rather softly.

Harry took the hint, "I'm sorry if what I did hurt you and Hermione. I only did what I thought was best for everyone. I want you to know there wasn't a day that I didn't think about you two. I never forgot all the things you guys did for me, and all the things you helped me with."

"You only did what you had to do Harry. I can't blame you for that," Ron said regretfully.

"I'm still sorry things had to turn out the way they did and I'll try and talk to Jack. Losing someone you love, the way that Jack loved Lily, is something I'm very familiar with," Harry stated under his breath.

Ron decided he better go back up to bed before Hermione noticed he was missing, and left Harry sitting by the fire. He glanced back at his friend sitting alone staring out into space and realized he had never seen him look so defeated.

On early afternoon, Harry was up in his room, sitting at his desk pretending to read the paper when he heard a knock at his door. Thinking that it was probably Hermione coming to tell him that lunch was ready, Harry just mumbled that it was okay to come in.

"Harry," said an uncertain female voice from the doorway.

He looked up from his paper and into the eyes of a very concerned Ginny Weasley. He just looked at her for a few minutes, unsure of what to say. He hadn't seen her sine before they found out about Lily.

"Hey Gin, come on in," he said finally much to her relief. Ginny entered the room with extreme caution. Harry motioned for her to take a seat across from him on the bed. "How are you, Gin?" He asked once she took a seat.

She gave him a funny look at his question. "I feel like I should be asking you that," she said looking down at her hands. Neither of them said anything for several minutes. They simply sat in silence, Ginny trying to understand what Harry was going through and Harry trying to keep his grief from getting the better of him.

"What are you doing here, if you don't mind me asking?" Harry wondered, looking up at her.

"Ron asked me to come and stay for a while. He's worried about Jack and Hermione and the other boys. But frankly he's worried about you as well. He says you've been hiding in here all the time," Ginny said with a small smile in hopes that this would lighten the mood.

"It's probably good that you're here," Harry said looking down at his hands in his lap once more. "They need you."

Ginny seemed to be deciding on what she was going to say next for a few seconds before she finally made up her mind. "Do you need me, Harry?"

Harry looked up into her hopeful eyes and for a second almost got lost in them. "I don't deserve to need you, Gin."

She slid down from the bed and knelt in front of him. She took his hands in hers and squeezed gently. "Harry…let me help you…please."

Harry looked down at her and into her eyes, searching for some kind of answer. "What am I supposed to do now?"

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked somewhat confused.

"What am I supposed to do? Where do I go? Lily was all I had left…"

"That's not true!" Ginny said quickly. "You need to stay here. Stay with the Ron and Hermione and they're family who all love you. Stay here with me…I love you."

"Why?" He asked in barley a whisper.

"Why, what?"

"How can you love me after all I've done to you? I don't deserve you, Ginny." Harry stood up and walked over to the window.

Ginny got up from the floor and followed him to the window where she turned him around to face him and held him by the shoulders. "Do you still love me?" She asked huskily.

"I've always loved you. I always will," Harry said only meeting her eye until the words were out of his mouth. After that he returned his gaze to the window.

"Why do I have to have a reason for loving you? Can't you just let me help you?" She asked finally with an even voice.

Harry took a minute to consider some things before he reached forward and pulled Ginny to him with all the strength he had left. "I do need you, Gin. I need you more now then I've ever needed anyone in my entire life."

"I'm here, Harry. I'm not going anywhere," she answered as she returned his embrace.

Something had changed between them that night. Something neither of them would ever be able to put into words. Suddenly nothing that past mattered. Now, there was only the present. There was only grief and belongingness.

The night before the funeral Harry found Jack in Lily's room sitting on her bed, and looking through a photo album. Looking at Jack just then, he thought for a second that he detected a smile on his face. Though the smile was a very sad looking smile, it was still a start and it gave Harry some hope of getting through to Jack and seeing if he was alright. He contemplated leaving him alone or wondered if he should try and talk to him. Harry walked into the room deciding to take his chances.

"What are you looking at?" Harry asked warily.

"Just some pictures of Lily and me," he said as he turned the page.

"What is your family's fascination with pictures? You guys must have taken hundreds over the years," he asked trying to get him out of his shell using a little bit of humor.

"I don't know really. I think we get it from Mum. She's always got a camera in her hand taking a picture of one thing or another," Jack answered sounding very uninteresting in saying anything more. "I think she wanted to show you what you'd missed over the years when you finally came back."

"Can I see them," Harry asked hoping to break into the mental bubble Jack had put up around himself.

"Sure," he said handing him the album and looking around the room.

Harry flipped through the pages of the album, cherishing every page and every photo. He had never seen these pictures before. All of them were of Lily and Jack together. Looking over to Jack he noticed the look on his face and remembered how he felt after Melissa had been killed. He asked the question he knew would either make Jack angry or make him talk.

"You really loved her didn't you?"

Jack nodded his head solemnly. "She was the only thing in my life that really mattered. It didn't matter how bad things got. As long as I knew she'd be there to help me through it, than I was okay. I could deal with anything. She may have been my girlfriend, but I could always talk to her like she was my best friend," Jack answered looking Harry in the eye for the first time since he came into the room. Harry could tell by the redness in his eyes that Jack had spent most of the last few days doing the same thing he been doing.

"I remember the day Melissa told me she was pregnant with Lily. She was so happy and I was scared to death," Harry admitted.

"Why were you scared?" Jack asked finally seeming interested.

"I was scared of not being a good enough father. I never had my parents while I was growing up and I didn't know how to be one really. But then I held her in my arms for the first time and all those fears seemed to melt away. I knew then that I would die to keep her safe. I guess my initial predictions about my parenting skills were correct because she died all the same in the end," Harry said mournfully. He hadn't meant to come in here and say such things, they just seemed to happen.

Jack glanced over at Harry who was now looking at the album again. He paused and then responded, "I think you're just about the best father this world has to offer. You gave up your daughter in hopes that she would be able to live and have real childhood. I know I'll always be grateful for what you did. If you hadn't left her then she may have been killed as a baby like you originally thought. Then I would never have had the opportunity to know her, and I do consider knowing her to be a distinct honor, Harry. She was the best thing that ever happened to me."

Harry had tears in his eyes just listening to the things Jack had said. He tried to find his voice but Jack beat him to it. "I'm sorry you never really got to know her Harry. And I'm sorry you had to see her go through all those terrible things in the end. That's not the person she was. She was just under a lot of stress. She was the must fun-loving person I've ever known, and it's too bad you didn't get to see that side of her."

"I feel like I knew her," Harry said honestly.

"Did you know we talked about getting married next summer after school was over?"

Harry smiled sadly, "Really?"

"Yeah, she said she wanted to get married and settle down. That's why she did all that healer training last year. She said she didn't want to keep on being an auror after we had kids of our own. She wanted to be able to be close to them, and see them grow up."

"I want you to know that I would have been proud to have you marry my daughter," Harry said placing a hand on Jack's shoulder.

Jack looked as if he was about to smile for a second but he simply looked down into his lap, "I guess that really doesn't matter now anyway," he looked over to the nightstand where a picture of him and Lily sat next to a lamp. They were smiling with their arms around each other, without a care in the world. He returned his attention back to their conversation and said somberly, "I'm sorry I couldn't protect her."

"That wasn't your job, Jack," Harry tried to reassure him.

"Yes, it was. It was my job to protect her because I loved her more than anything. I'm sorry," he repeated as he got up and left the room.

The day of the funeral was ironically warm and bright. The late summer's sunshine warmed the air and the grass moved gently in the soft wind. School would be starting at Hogwarts in a matter of weeks. But on this day, school was the last thing on everyone's minds. The Great Hall at Hogwarts was packed with mourners who had come to pay their last respects, most of them students or members of the auror department. The house tables had once again been removed and were replaced with rows of seats. Ron and Hermione sat along with Harry, Ginny, and Jack in the front row. The rest of their children were sitting with Ron's parents and brothers in the row behind them along with Jack and Lily's friends, two of which would be speaking today.

Harry was disguised so that no one would know who he was. He wasn't quite ready for people to know he was alive. Jack and Ginny both sat at his side. He sat there in silence, clutching Ginny's hand as if she was the only thing keeping him together. And she probably was.

Several people stood up and gave speeches in honor of Lily. Harry was astonished how much her death had affected the magical community. He had no idea how many people she had touched in her short lifetime. The thought that all these people loved his daughter so much, eased his pain slightly, but he knew nothing could ever take it away completely. The first person to speak was Brad Garland, who had been a friend of Jack and Lily's since they started school.

"I had the privilege of meeting Lily the morning following our first night as Hogwarts students. Over the next few years, she and I became good friends and shared in both great sadness and extreme bliss. All the hours we spent playing Qudditch with Dylan and Jack and his brothers. All those nights she'd stay up into the early hours of the morning to help me with my homework. All the times I would go to her when I just needed someone to hear me out. She always knew the right time to offer advice, and the right time to just listen and nothing. I've never had a better friend, and now that she's gone, the raw pain of her absence is almost too much to bear. I always knew no matter what mess I got myself into, Lily would be there to help me through it. Two years ago, my brother was killed, also working of the auror department. I remember standing by his casket after the ceremony. I turned around and Lily was still sitting in the second pew, waiting to see if I was alright. She walked over to me and told me everything was going to be alright somehow in the end. That all things happen for a reason, and we can't question destiny. All we can do is carry on and honor those we loved by living everyday of our lives to the fullest extent. I just want Lily to know that I was listening that day. I remember everything she said and those words got me through the toughest time of my life. Thank you so much, Lil. None of us will ever forget you, and we will continue to honor your life and memory with every breath we take. Thank you."

Brad made his way down from the podium and off the stage. He walked up to where Jack was sitting and shook his hand. Jack just nodded and continued to stare at the ground long after Brad returned to his seat in the first row across the isle.

The next person to speak was Dylan Jacobs, who was also a longtime friend of both Lily and Jack. Brad and him where sitting together and before Brad sat down, Dylan stood up and patted his friend on the back. Brad allowed Dylan to pass him by and walk to the stage. Brad sat next to a girl Harry did not recognize and wrapped his arm around her as she sobbed openly into his shoulder. In these minutes of transition between speakers, Harry thought the entire audience was crying in unison. He had never seen a sadder sight in his life.

"I was once told that those you love never truly leave you. That they linger around whenever you need them and comfort you in ways you cannot understand. If this is true than I know Lily has never left any of us. She is here right now; patting us on the back, giving us a warm hug, and telling us that it's okay to grieve. We are no longer able to hear her voice or feel her touch, but I know she's here. She would not want us to harbor our feelings of sorrow, but I also know she would tell us not to waste our lives away in mourning. As Brad said before, we must go on with our lives and live them to the fullest extent. We must continue living for those of us who can't. So, today we will grieve the loss of someone so much better than ourselves. But tomorrow we will get up and continue living, always with Lily in the back of our minds. Carry her with you in all the things you do and all the places you go. We can all take comfort in the fact that we were in the presence of complete perfection, even if it was only for a little while."

Dylan paused in his speech for a few moments, trying to regain his composure so he didn't loose it all together. He looked around the room at his classmates and their families before his eyes fell on Jack sitting in the front row with is family. He took a deep breath and continued with what he had to say.

"I would like to address one person in particular at this time, and that person is Jack Weasley. I have never in my life seen a person love anyone as much as Lily loved you, Jack. Her face would light up whenever you entered the room. I can stand here and honestly say, no one ever made her as happy as you did. Jack, you're one of my best friends and watching you go through this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I don't know what to say to you to make you feel any better about the loss you've just suffered. All I can say is remember Lily as she was in life, and not how she died. Remember how much you loved her. Remember all the memories you shared, for they are what will get you through this difficult time. I do not know what its like to loose someone you were in love with, because I've never been in love. I'm not even going to guess what you must be feeling. I just want you to know that we're here for you, mate. We'll always be right here."

Dylan finished his speech and placed the paper he had written it on in his pocket. He walked around the podium and took his seat next to Brad once more. A person from the back of the hall made their way to the front as the next speaker. The only sounds were of the man's shoes clicking against the floor of the Great Hall full of mourners. As the man passed Harry, he saw who it was. It was Richard Luis. He felt Jack tense up next to him. He looked over and saw the furry that had replaced the sadness in his eyes.

"As many of you know, my name is Richard Luis and I am head of the auror department. I met Lily last summer when she and Jack began working with us. She was a fine individual and clearly she will be missed by those who loved her. Some of you will know that when people enter auror training they are told to write letters addressed to their families in case something like this should happen. Being an auror means taking risks and things like this happen, often leaving families to mourn the death of their loved ones suddenly and without warning. This is why we have them write letters which are read at their funerals in hopes that they bring some kind of consolation to those they leave behind. It is a hard thing for each of us to write. These letters are updated every few months. Jack and Lily updated theirs at the end of last term. I would like to read Lily's letter now."

Luis took a deep breath and began reading, "To those I love: Death is something I am all too familiar with. Having lost both my parents before I had the opportunity to know them was hard enough. Losing Allan weeks ago was all together different. I'll never understand why things happen the way they do, but I guess that's not really my place anyway. I know I have lived my life to the fullest extent and I have no regrets about the decisions I have made. I know what writing this letter means, and though it's a grim thought I take comfort in the fact that it may bring comfort to those who read it. I want you all to know that my life, though difficult at times, has been a wonderful experience. Some people live their entire lives and never really understand the meaning of love. I am not one of those people. I have loved to the very depths of my soul, and I am a better person because of it. Now I want to take the opportunity to address several people in my life who have aided in creating the person writing this letter."

Luis glanced up from the letter and found Ron and Hermione in the front row. He continued reading the next part of the letter. "To Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron. It does not seem like I've only known you for six short years. In that time you've taught me so many wonderful lessons about life and love. No words can express the happiness you both have brought to my life. You were my parents when I needed you most. You are the only link I have with the father I have never known. I thank you for allowing me to get to know him through you and you're experiences and memories of him. But if you are hearing this letter than it means my worst fears have come true, and I've been forced to leave you. Always remember how much I love you. I'll never forget you. Please don't forget me."

Ron tightened his grip around his wife's shoulders and he and Hermione wept openly as Luis concluded this part of the letter. Luis then looked up again this time finding Jack's brothers sitting in the second row. He began reading once more with no emotion in his voice.

"To Andrew, Kyle, Brandon, and Joe. You are the brothers I never had. I want you all to know that it's been a privilege getting to know you over the last few years. You have lightened my days and filled my life with memories I will always cherish. Thank you for all the wonderful gifts you have given me, both big and small. You are all extraordinary young men, and you will make this world a better place, of this I am sure. You have much to learn about life, and I had hoped that none of you would have to deal with death for many years to come. But again, if this letter is being read to you, it means your lesson in death has come far too early. I'm so sorry it had to come on my account. I want you to go on with your lives and be happy. Life isn't worth living if you don't have some kind of happiness to keep you going through the hard times. Don't feel bad about my passing. I've lived my life and I'm content with the person I've become."

Bill Weasley had an arm around Kyle, who cried silent tears and looked straight ahead soberly. Andrew and Brandon sat next to each other, neither moved. Fred and George sat on either side of their nephews, stealing worried glances at them every now and then. Joe had his head on Molly Weasley's shoulder, soaking her shirt with tears.

Hermione had debated whether or not he should come to the funeral. He idealized Lily so much and was too young to really understand why she was gone. When she saw how upset he was, she stood up and walked around to her mother in law to hold her son in her arms. She brought him back over to Ron and they both just held him. Neither asked him to stop crying.

Meanwhile, Luis kept on reading, "To Brad, Mea, Dylan, and Christy. I could never have asked for better friends. Each of you has challenged me and helped me in so many ways. I hope I have meant as much to you as you have meant to me. We shared so many great times during our years together. It's hard to think of that all coming to an end. Endings are never easy to understand. I learned this powerful lesson when we lost Allan. I've never been good at letting things go, so I guess this time I just won't. I'll hold on to our friendship in hopes that one day we'll see each other again, and pick up where we left off. You'll tell me about your lives and all the fun you had. I'll tell you how happy I was to look down on you and watch you learn and grow into the wonderful people I know you will one day become. I love all four of you with all my heart, and know that I will never truly leave you. I'll always be right here. Whenever you need me."

Harry remembered someone telling him about Christy Whitewater. She was from the American orphanage and had been friends with Lily for the longest. He had never met her but assumed he had found her in the crowd sitting next to Dylan who had an arm around her. He knew she was in Hufflepuff, and had also been good friends with Allan. She looked completely devastated crying against Dylan's shoulder as he cried right along with her.

Looking back up to the podium, Harry noticed Luis shooting Jack a glance before he continued. "To Jack. Being an orphan, I never really knew what it felt like to be loved until I met you. You have made my life so complete in everyway. I have always known if something were to happen to me, you would be the hardest person to say goodbye to. Now the time for goodbye has arrived, I don't think I can say it. I want you to know that you are the best thing that ever happened to me, and loving you has kept me going and given me a reason to not only hope for happiness but to actually know what if feels like. Now, because I love you so much I must do something that pains me greatly. I must tell you to move on. Though the thought of you moving on without me is a very hard concept to process, it would be worst for me to look down and find you miserable. I want you to get on with your life, Jack. I want you to send everyday of your life in complete and utter happiness, because that is what you deserve. I want you to find someone who will love you as much as I do. Make that person, whoever she is, as happy as you have made me. I'm desperately sorry that I can be that person for you. I know you don't want to think about this now because you're hurting. But you can't stop living just because I'm gone. You may not know this, but you are so much stronger than I have ever been. You can handle anything. I know you can get through this and come out a better person in the end. Someday, hopefully not to far from now, you'll be able to put me in the past and look forward to a new life…without me. I told you once that I wanted to spend the rest of forever with you, and I want you to know that I'm waiting for you to fulfill that promise. Somewhere on the other side of all your tomorrows, I'm waiting for you. I'll love you always. I'll never forget you, and please don't forget me or the things I've asked you to do."

Harry saw Jack's shoulders where shaking from the corner of his eye. Turning his head to face his godson, Harry felt completely helpless by what he saw. Jack was sitting there with his face in his hands, sobbing silently. Harry didn't know what to do. He turned to Ron and Hermione who were both looking at their son. Hermione got up, handed Joe to Harry and sat next to Jack. She wrapped her arms around him and spoke soothing words that only Jack could hear. Joe clung to the front of Harry's robes and asked if Jack was going to be okay. All Harry could do was nod and try to reassure the child, even if he really wasn't all that sure himself. Ginny put an arm around him and told him everything was going to be alright. He didn't know whether to believe her or not.

Luis closed the letter and placed it back in the envelope. He then left the podium and walked over to Jack. When Jack saw him coming he raised his head from his mother's shoulder to look him in the eye. Luis handed Jack the letter and walked away. Jack followed him with his eyes until he reached the end of the row and turned to walk back to his seat in the back. Looking down at the letter, Jack closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He looked up at Harry and handed the letter to him.

"She would have mentioned you in this had it been written after you came back. You should have this," he said in a hushed voice so no one could here. Professor McGonagall had just stood up and told everyone to proceed to the burial. Everyone in the front two rows stayed seated while the rest of the crowd began to leave. "She loved you, Harry. She loved you very much," Jack said once everyone was gone.

Harry patted him on the back and nodded his head. Words didn't seem necessary at a time like this. Jack reached and took his little brother from Harry's arms. Joe looked up at him through glazed over eyes, puffy with tears.

"D…do you th…think Lily is s…scared? She's all alone," Joe said beginning to cry again.

Jack tried very hard to smile to make him feel better, "No Joe, I don't think she's scared. And she's not alone. She's with her mum and Allan. They'll take care of her for us. But she meant what she said about you. She loved you very much. Never forget that."

"I won't. I loved her too," the little boy said as Jack pulled him to his chest and both brothers sat there, grieving together.

a/n- There you have it! Please whatever you do, DO NOT STOP READING! There are a lot of surprises to come. You'll understand it all in a little while. I promise it gets better.