A/N: All the positive feedback that i have been getting is just amazing! I am so very happy that people like this story! I've worked hard to get it done quickly...but to still have it flow smoothy. I'm also happy because it means that there are people that like Mical&Exile fics! Yay for you! From now on, I've decided to dedicate chapters to my loyal reviewers because without there support...this fic wouldn't be as good! Speaking of...this chapter is dedicated to The Disciple for the awesome reviews I've recieved from you! You rock! This chappy is for you!

Disclaimer:I don't own Sw or KotOR II...but one day I will...I mean i'll start with owning Mical and work my way up...hehe

Chapter 5: Giving Up

The sun was just beginning to set on the horizon when Mical woke Amira up. Amira rolled over and moaned something unintelligible. She had just returned from a difficult and draining quest. She just wanted some sleep, but apparently even that luxury was not available. Mical looked like an eager kath hound getting ready to go in for the kill. Amira called him on it too.

"I have a surprise for you." He whispered.

"Can't it wait, Mical? I'm really tired..." Amira rolled back onto her side, pulling the covers over her head.

"It's almost dark out. You haven't had anything to eat all day since you got home this morning." Mical commented.

Amira sighed and pulled the covers closer, trying to block out the last bits of light coming through. Mical was obviously excited about something...something important. Reluctantly, Amira got out of bed.

"It better be worth it, Mical." She whined impatiently.

"I've been working on it while you slept. You might want to get changed into something nice." He added.

"So you think I look awful?" Amira teased.

"Um...that isn't exactly what I meant..." Mical tried to backtrack. The embarrassed look on his face was priceless, though.

"But it's probably true. I think I'll take a shower first, as well. It might wake me up..." Amira dragged herself over and into the 'fresher, a thin smile on her face the whole time. Mical then left the room and headed into the dining room.

The hot water felt so good as it glided over Amira's skin. She couldn't remember the last time that she had had a decent shower or bath. The Council had continued sending her on countless missions. It was understandable considering there weren't a lot of Jedi around yet. Turning the water off, Amira pulled the towel around her and exited the shower.

She quickly chose a light blue dress to wear. Placing her hair into a tight bun at the top of her head, Amira reached for a silver clip to hold it in place. Her hair was always a mess, although she tried to make it look nice whenever she was around Mical. After finishing her makeup, which consisted of a light blush and darker red lipstick, Amira reached for a gold necklace that Mical had given her as a wedding gift.

She admired his ability to notice many small details. Such was the case of the necklace. It fit perfectly around her neck and at the end of it was a small gem, barely noticeable, but extremely valuable. The gem was from her home planet, which she hadn't been to since she was a very young girl. She never knew how Mical had found it, or bought it at that, but she was extremely grateful for it. She didn't need it but Mical had insisted.

"How do I look?" Amira said as she walked onto the terrace.

"You look..." Mical paused as if looking for the appropriate word..." Amazing."

"As do you, kind sir." She whispered seductively back. Mical had changed into a black suit, with white down the center that fluffed up slightly at the top.

Mical linked arms with her and led her into the dining room. Amira gasped at the scene. The table was set for two, silver silverware lining the glass plates that sat to either end of the table. In the center of the table was a blue vase with red roses sticking out of it. The tablecloth was a light shade of blue to match the vase. The whole setting was romantic, to say the least.

Mical smiled and pulled Amira's seat out. She sat down silently, still amazed at the whole thing. So this was what Mical had meant by a surprise. When Mical does something, he puts his whole heart into it. Amira smiled to herself, he was doing this all for her too. She felt like the most important person in the world at that moment. But then again, Mical always made her feel like that.

"Do you like it?" Mical asked hopefully.

"I...it's beautiful, Mical. How did you manage to do all this?" She asked.

"Sorry, but I am afraid that I cannot reveal that at the moment." Mical answered back with an arrogant smile. Well, as arrogant as a man like Mical could get.

"Fair enough." she smiled nonchalantly.

"Are you hungry?" Mical queried.

"Starved." She said with a small sigh. The trip had taken a lot out of her. Though she didn't think that she'd get much sleep tonight...

Mical smiled. Amira couldn't tell if it was because of the dinner surprise or because he had just read her thoughts. At the moment though, she didn't care. Just being with him right now was great. It wasn't every day that they got to spend time together. Amira smiled back and Mical left to go get the dinner items. She loved these moments. Moments where it was just her and Mical. No Jedi Council constantly watching there every move, no interruptions...just her and him. She had that small voice in the back of her mind telling her that these moments were drawing to an end. She ignored them.

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The florr was never a very pleasant way to wake up, she had to admit, but today she wanted nothing more than to stay there...on the floor and in that memory. Perhaps if she'd have been more careful, more aware of those small voices...Mical could still be with her right now. But the past could not be changed, and the future was always in motion and hard to predict. Perhaps there was nothing she could have done. No matter what, Mical would have died.

Amira refused to believe that. She knew that there could have been a way to save him. There always was a way...no matter the situation. There would be a way. If only she had found it in time. If only she could have saved him. She would have gladly given her life for his. Than he would be here and she would not and there would be no point. He would suffer instead of her. No matter what...one of them would have lost. Fate just happened to pick her.

It was your fault, and you know it. No matter what you say or how you rephrase it, Mical is dead and it is your fault. That was the guilt talking. The guilt always had a louder voice than the reason...always had, always would. But that wasn't the way of the Jedi. The Jedi preached peace and serenity. That is a bunch of bantha fodder and you know it. Perhaps if the Jedi had been quicker, Mical could have been saved. It was there fault as well. You watched them trying to heal them...it was like there heart wasn't in it. They didn't care that he was dying. They just wanted to get it done with. Amira's thoughts dwelled in what if scenarios.

Were those voices right? Could the Jedi healers have saved him if they had cared? You've seen them cure dying people all the time. What was the difference with Mical? Perhaps they saw him as a threat. The emotions you had around him made you dangerous. They saw his death as a way to end the threat. Superiority at any cost. That was the Sith not the Jedi. Shaking her head, Amira tried to meditate.

Yes meditate. Try to forget about your problems. That'll work. This thinking was dangerous. It would lead to a dark path. A path to the darkside. Would that be so awful? You had a taste of it once...you turned away because it frightened you. You have nothing to lose now. Amira took a deep breath. I am trying to help you. Ever wonder what would have happened if you had been a Sith? Perhaps you would have had the power to save him. She had heard stories about the power of the darkside, how a few Sith Lords were able to stop others from dying...

You are a fool. You could have saved him! You could have stopped him from dying! But you weren't strong enough! You have never been strong enough...and you will never be strong enough! Not until you embrace the darkside. Only there will you find the peace you seek. Only than can you achieve a power strong enough to kill the one who murdered your husband. Revenge is what you seek, and you won't find it with the Jedi.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up..." Her voice started strong but ended in a choked sob. Revenge. Was revenge the answer that she seeked?

Amira got out of her bed and stared out the window onto the placid landscape. Everything seemed to have it's own place...everything had the one place where they belonged. Except her. She no longer knew where she truly belonged. The one thing she did know was that it might possibly be not with the Jedi. Only time could tell her where she belonged. Could she give up the life she knew so well?

You have given almost everything else up. The Jedi shall be no different. Search your feelings; you know that it is the truth. Give up and surrender to the darkside.

"I won't give up." Not yet, at least...

A/N: Please review...who knows, the next chapter could be dedicated to you! I need all the feedback that is possible!