"Ninety-nine bottles of wine on the wall, ninety-nine bottles of wine," Hat-Jack sings, followed by several other adults.
"you take one down," Cliff adds, swaying his head absently.
"give it to Karen," Kai adds, whilst driving.
"ninety-eight bottles of wine on the wall." Gray mutters with little enthusiasm.
The singing continued on for a while, most of the teenagers looking very uncomfortable of this. The remaining Jack did not join in, since he was still busy wiping saliva from his face. And, to his disappointment, by the time he was done the guys had been shut up by skull-grazing knuckles courtesy of their wives and children (with the exception of Gray, who had stopped singing the stupid song long before).
"Hey, how long will we be driving for?" Kate asks to no one in particular.
"Ah, no longer than a day if I take this neat shortcut…" Kai replies, looking at the map and nodding to himself.
"Oh, right, the shortcut…" Matthew says in recollection. "…Say, how good is it, anyway?"
"It looks like a good road from what I see here…" Kai says. "It'll cut a couple of hours from the trip."
"…A couple of hours?" Miro says in disbelief. "That would've been days of walking!"
"Stupid train…" Matthew says. "If only you girls weren't gawking at Miro when he was unconscious, saying how he has 'an angel face when he's sleeping' and-"
Anna gives him a quick slap on the back of the head, displacing Matthew's hat. Grumbling, he straightens it out again and remains quiet.
"Still, the trip's going to be a day long…" Cliff comments. "Anyone have something to eat?"
"I snagged some TV dinners from the Mall, if you guys have anything to heat them in…" Ricca suggests, beginning to look through her travel bag.
"Yeah, those should work." William says, watching her pull out a couple of boxes worth of the dinners. "Could we eat them cold?"
"Not if we can help it…" Mary mutters, staring at a box with a concerned sort of disgust. "They don't look very appetizing… even less if we have to eat them cold."
"Well, I don't see any microwaves on this thing…" Kate comments, looking around even though she knew full-well that there were none. "…Is anyone good at starting fires?"
Everyone, minus Kai since he was driving, looks around at one another, shrugging when someone looked at them. Eventually, several eyes fell on Nami. Nami's own eyes narrow at the people.
"…Okay, question: Why does everyone seem to think I'm pyro?" She asks in some frustration.
"You have that gleam in your eyes." Her husband informs her. "Ice blue, tends to look a bit shifty."
"Well, I'm not." Nami states, referring both to being pyro and shifty. "I know campfires, but we'd need wood and more open air so we wouldn't die horribly of asphyxiation… Oh, and for future reference, if you do see me burning something, it's for normal reasons, like cooking or destroying evidence."
Several people look at her strangely after this statement. Nami smirks at their reaction, and waves her hand dismissively once to ensure them that she was kidding.
"Um… So…" Lumina begins, making sure to glance over at Hugh once or twice while she was talking, to ensure he wasn't about to fall and hit his head on something. "What can we use to heat the food, then?"
"Oh, I have something!" Anna says, quickly searching in her pack for the desired item. She smiles once she finds it and pulls her trusted flamethrower out. Staring at it for a moment, she realizes something.
"Ooh, I'll need something to light its wick." She says, looking out at the people expectantly.
"Ah, wait, I have my…" Matthew begins, reaching into a pocket for his lighter. Suddenly, he notices that it was gone, and looks around in a state of confusion.
"Ah. Here." Kate says, taking the lighter she promised to Lumina from her dress pocket. Carefully, she throws it to Anna, who catches it with both hands.
"Thanks, Kate." She says, smiling. Matthew looks at the lighter and suddenly notices something.
"…Hey, that's mine!"
"Yeah, I swiped it." Kate says simply, shrugging. "If you want it back, you'll have to talk to Lumina. And Hugh, once he wakes up.
After about half a second of consideration, Matthew sighs and lowers his head, crossing his arms and looking much like his father at that moment.
"…Never mind." He says finally. "It's not worth the… trouble."
"Life isn't as fair without your dragon, is it?" Miro says, with something between mock sympathy and stating a fact in his voice.
"Quite, much like you losing your power." Matthew replies, looking at Miro with a small smirk. "But I can take comfort knowing that I lost the dragon in a much less… invasive manner."
Miro mutters, flinching once. "You'll be mentioning that on every formal get-together, won't you?"
"Maybe not." Matthew says with a shrug. "Who knows, something even more worthy of mention might happen down the road."
"And… Got it!" Anna suddenly says, lighting the wick on the front of the flamethrower nozzle, shutting the cap on the lighter. She turns to Ricca expectantly.
"Hey, Ricca, can you move those dinners to the back of the bus?" She asks.
"…Okay, sure." Ricca says, nodding after making sure that nobody was sitting within five rows of the back seat. Picking up the dinners, she stands up and walks carefully back, making sure not to stumble from the several bumps that came from driving a standard-issue school bus offroad. Once she was at the back, she placed the dinners down on the seat and hurried up the row, back to her spot next to William. For some reason, she was a bit antsy about being between several cold TV dinners and Anna with a flamethrower for too long.
"…What about the smoke?" Nami inquires. "We'll choke if you use that thing…"
"Oh, don't worry, it's a special compound, burns clean." Anna says, smiling a bit.
"…Where does she learn this stuff?" Cliff inquires. However, before that question could be answered, Anna let loose a stream of fire from her weapon, directed to the small, frozen packages on the back of the bus. After a moment of firey carnage, she lets go of the trigger and allows the flames to die away. The leather on most of the seats before Anna were blackened, any loose stuffing had burned away, and the gum beneath the seats were giving out a hazy fume that made the whole bus smell pleasantly like a fruit stand. Sitting in the middle of this scene was a collection of TV dinners, some packages a tad burnt and all of them hissing as the creamed corn present within them bubbled forebodingly.
"…And people think that I'm… I mean, just look at what she did… Something's wrong with that girl…" Nami mumbles to herself, putting a hand on her forehead and sighing.
A small, smoldering bit of material from a sofa suddenly sparks into the air, arching across the sky for a moment. Muffy – whom, along with Celia, was dragged carelessly onto the bus and thrown onto separate seats – was lying quite unconsciously and had no possible ability to dodge this material, and it landed in among her non-gummed-up, curly locks. No one noticed for a moment, but Muffy, who had an almost-obsessive level of care for her hair, sensed her follicles in danger and quickly snapped awake. Blinking once, she took a sniff of the air around her, and other than the fruity gum smell that still lingered in the air, she immediately caught scent of burning hair. Gasping, she quickly gets up and begins patting off her locks in a panic.
"EEK! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!" She yells, startling everyone in the bus and causing Kai to swerve slightly.
"Muffy, calm down!" Nami orders, although she and several other people weren't completely sure if they would mind her hair gaining a nice, blackish hue.
"Jack, throw her some water!" Ann orders her husband. Jack, nodding, pulls out his Mysterile Watering Can, runs over to Muffy, spends a couple of seconds pulling it back for a big swing, and then excecuted said swing.
A moment later, Muffy, remaining still and expressionless for a moment, minus the occasional twitch, blinks. She was seeping wet from head to toe, and any eyeshadow she might have been wearing was gone, swept away from this world. On the bright side, there wasn't a lick of flame or a wisp of smoke left on her.
"…Where am I? Who are you?" She asks, seeming to be in a slight daze. She looks around, recognizing only a few people immediately. She looks down at herself for a moment, and then runs a hand through her hair, noticing gum on one side and some burned spots on the other. "My… My hair's ruined!"
"Muffy, what-" Nami begins, but cuts herself off after noticing the look Muffy was giving the Jack holding the watering can, who was still standing there and now smiling nervously.
"My, that's a nice watering can…" Muffy says, in a dark tone that was anything but complimenting. "Can I see it?"
"Umm… S-sure…" Jack says nervously, handing it over. "It's empty now, though, but…"
"Good…" Muffy says, and with a swift motion she viciously clubs him on the side of the head. The sound of two hollow objects colliding resonates throughout the bus, and Jack is sent sprawling to the ground, landing on the floor next to his wife. Muffy then throws the can aside, it landing on the empty seat next to Ann.
"…Whoa." William states.
"Is she going to be evil again?" Miro asks.
"I don't think so." Nami comments, seeming to ignore the twitching Jack on the ground. "…Muffy, are you done plotting revenge against my family?"
"Well… I guess…" Muffy says with a sigh. "Unless I can think of another smart plan…"
"Oh, good, then we're safe…" Kate says in relief. "We can finally stop worrying about being poked and stabbed to death."
"Not quite…" Nami mutters.
"But, umm…" Muffy begins. "…Where am I? What are we all doing here?"
"We'll tell you once Celia's awake." Nami states. "I don't want to bother telling the story twice."
"Okay." Muffy replies, nodding and looking to Celia on the bench-seat next to her. She shifts to the end of her seat and waves her hand in front of the comatose veggie farmer's face.
"Celia? Celia, dear, wake up." She says in a voice strangely reminiscent to a mother's. Celia stirs slightly, shutting her eyes tighter and then slowly opening them to see the cheap-looking tin roof of the bus and the even cheaper-looking dark rouge of Muffy's polished nails waving in front of her.
"Uugh…" Celia mumbles, shaking her head slightly. Muffy pulls her hand back, smiling.
"Celia, please get up. They're going to tell us what's happened." She says.
"What…? They…?" Celia mutters in confusion. Slowly, she gets up to a sitting position and sees all of the people on the bus.
"Well, okay… Let's hear this." She says while fixing her hair, deciding to skip being confused and get to the point.
"Good… Who's telling?" Nami inquires, looking around. Quickly noticing the reluctant expressions on the group's faces, she sighs and shakes her head. "…All right, I'll do it."
Several minutes passed as Nami told the tale of the parents' journey, from when Miro was found missing to the point they were at presently. Several people, over the story's duration, wondered what had happened at the teenagers' end of it, and Miro was chosen to tell their story by random selection ("Hey, whoever wants Miro to tell the story, raise your hand.").
Once Miro had also finished his end of the tale (with several… unnecessary items removed), he was met with hums and haws of acknowledgement and, after a moment, his father spoke up.
"Say… What happened with you and Celia?" Jack asks, looking at Muffy suspiciously. "Like, you got posessed and stuff, but…"
"Oh. Well…" Celia begins, thinking for a moment. "I remember it all clearly… but I had no control… Pretty much, Hugh found me in the room, and he had those two round eyes in his hands, and he asked me if he could help me. I muttered yes and he held out one of Daachan's eyes to me. I knew it was dangerous… but it healed me, and before I could get up and step back he put it on my forehead… Daachan made me stand up and follow Hugh, back out of the Bar and around to the other side…"
"Oh, and then I saw them." Muffy adds. "So I tried to sit up and get their attention, but then Hugh just walked up and put the eye on my forehead. But… I do remember looking up just before, seeing where Daachan's other eyes was and going 'C… Celia…?'"
"Hm, very dramatic." Nami says with a yawn. "And you remember taking Lumina and fighting William and all of that?"
"Yes…" Celia says, nodding a bit. "But we couldn't do anything about that because of Daachan… By the way, what happened to it?"
"Daachan?" Miro chimes. "He's done."
"-Dead." His father adds with finality.
"-Dead-dead." Miro adds, nodding.
"Seriously this time." Jack states.
"-Without doubt."
"-UN-living."
"-Not we-think-it's-dead dead,"
"-not we're-pretty-sure-it's-dead dead,"
"-but DEAD."
"Pushing daisies."
"The can has been kicked."
"It has bought the farm."
"Well, not our farm, but-"
"We get it…" Nami intrudes. "Yes, Daachan is no more. You two are safe to live the rest of your lives un-possessed."
"Oh, that's good…" Celia says with a sigh.
"Too bad there's no one to take our revenge on now, though…" Muffy adds sadly.
"Don't be too sure." William points out, thumbing toward the slowly-awakening Hugh. Lumina turns to check on him with this motion.
"Hugh…?" She says, looking at his eyes as they begin to flutter and stir. "…Are you okay?"
"Not for long." Nami says with her elbow rested on her seat, watching the events proceed with interest.
"Ughn…" Hugh mumbles, slipping slowly back into the realm of the conscious. His eyes slowly open and fix themselves on the I'm-rich-but-too-cheap-to-get-a-good-tailor plaid of Lumina's dress. "L… Lumina…?"
"Yes, I'm here…" Lumina says, lifting his chin up to let him see her. "It's all over now, you're-"
"-DEAD!" Comes the voice of both Muffy and Celia from behind her, both preparing to pounce and rend Hugh into beef giblets. Hugh snaps fully awake and screams in alarm, planting his back flat against the window of the seat and staring wide-eyed at the flailing arms and gnashing teeth present immediately in front of him. Thankfully, the two aggravated bachellorettes had been stopped in mid-pounce by various people nearby.
"So… Hugh… anything you want to say to these folks?" William inquires, currently holding Muffy back by the ankle and seeming to still have trouble with it even with the aid of several others.
"Errm… No… hard… feelings?" Hugh stammers out, grinning nervously.
"Feelings, no. Knuckles, I'm guessing so…" Nami comments, looking quite amused at this whole situation.
After a few moments of strain, Muffy and Celia simmer down slightly, until they finally slump back down on their seats in defeat. Any who hadn't already let go of them did at that time.
"Everybody calm now?" Gray asks, keeping an eye out for sudden movements.
"Y… yeah…" Hugh mutters, relaxing a bit and getting into a more comfortable sitting position.
"We're fine…" Celia states.
"We're used to getting our revenge a long time after the fact, anyway." Muffy adds, to the uneasiness of Hugh.
"Oh, and…" Miro begins, glancing over to the disfavored jock. "Hugh, what do you think we should do with you? Tie you to something sturdy? Maybe have you caged and towed behind the bus?"
"Wh… H-hey, man, I'm good…" Hugh says quickly, holding his hands out in innocence. "I don't need any of that, I've got what I want."
"Hm… So we're cool?" Miro asks.
"Yeah, we're good…" Hugh says. "I only wanted you dead so I could prove to Lumina that I'm worthy, right? Yeah."
"Oh, so NOW you listen to reason…" Miro mutters, more than a hint of frustration present.
"Worthy…?" Lumina inquires, tilting her head slightly at Hugh. "I never thought you weren't worthy… I just never noticed you."
"NEVER?" Several people on the bus shout, Kai going into a slight swerve once more.
"You mean that you never once thought that Hugh, the guy who kept doing stuff to try to impress you, and not to mention one of the only two guys even CLOSE to your age, didn't even cross your mind romantically?" Kate asks incredulously. "You never once saw him lifting your piano with one hand and balancing your cats with the other and thought 'hmm, maybe he's an okay choice too'?"
"Umm…" Lumina begins, pausing nervously for a moment.
"Well, come to think of it, you can't exactly blame her." Miro chimes in. "I mean, it's not like you ever thought that way about Hugh either, right Kate? …Kate?"
"I…" Kate begins, this time being the one to pause. "…Well… I'm… normal. I mean, my thoughts travel… places…"
"You DID?" Miro gasps, looking at her in exasperation. "When was this!"
"Back when you didn't have your appeal…" Kate states. Quickly, she corrects herself. "I mean, as a victim… This was back when I was all mean…I was only eleven… or so… I pushed Hugh into a puddle and for some reason I started feeling sorry for him… I mean, he was only this poor 148-pound fourteen-year-old, he could barely defend himself… So then I started thinking, and in bed that night I thought even more… and more… poor guy, with that incredible smile, and those strong arms, and that six-pack you could crack a walnut on, and that-"
"ENOUGH…" Miro hisses, teeth clenched dangerously close to the point of cracking. "I GET the point…"
"…Oh, right, rightrightright…" Kate says, returning to reality and sinking slightly in her chair, face seeming to redden quite more than usual.
"Miro, Kate, don't worry about it…" Matthew says in an attempt to relieve the awkwardness. "At that age, dreams like that are an absolutely natural and-"
Matthew was interrupted in his statement by the entire population of the bus, who seemed to find this the right moment to clear their throats loudly.
"Erm, yes… so…" Miro begins, trying to find something to change the subject. Noticing the closest thing to such a topic change, he makes an attempt to do so. "Heh… Hey, Kate, with your face that shade, it looks like a… freckled tomato."
Kate gives him an odd look, seeming to forget her discomfort for a moment. "…A freckled tomato?"
"I couldn't think of anything else." Miro states. "I mean, in most cases, you look something like a chocolate chip cookie, but with the red hue, I'm not sure… Maybe, a red shirt with buttons…?"
"Nah." Kate says, shaking her head a bit.
"A blood pudding with raisins?" William suggests.
"A scrape with several little scabs?" Cliff adds.
"A connect-the-dots game on red construction paper?" Nami throws in with a shrug.
"…No, I don't think so…" Kate says, once again shaking her head.
"…Oh! I know!" Muffy suddenly states, after looking at Kate for a moment. "You look like a strawberry!"
"Hey, she's right…" Miro says, some surprise in his voice. "'Cause strawberries have those dot… things. The seeds…"
"That's true… You know, I think that is it." Kate says, nodding to it.
With the mystery of what Kate's face looks like when she's blushing solved, things went along quite normally on the bus for the next few hours, with the minor exceptions of Hugh and Lumina having a few 'close talks' and Muffy and Celia attempting to slit his throat with a nail file during these. In time, Nami confiscated the files, but only after noticing how sharp and pointed Muffy was sculpting her nails to be. But other than that, things went honky-dory on the trip, the hours passing like the scenery, which included the odd tree and shocked animal that narrowly dodges Kai's driving.
Until…
(Sorry! Very sorry, but I had to leave it in suspense, for the Chapter was getting lengthy and my editor has to leave for Camp for six days. It must be done, but I promise it will be the last time in this story that I'll make such an obvious attempt at a narrative hook. I know fancy terms like that now, thanks to Grade 10 English… and that may sound stupid, but compared to Grade 10 Math, it's a lovely time. Plus there's neato books, like The Chrysalids… Damn, I wanted Sophie to have David in that book, it seemed so right. But no, no, instead she ends up liking the lanky old guy and… gets shot in the neck by a damn bow. Didn't exactly end the way I wanted it to. And then David ends up liking his… half-cousin. I mean, jeez, what is that abo- Oh, right, footnote. Well, shed some more light on me, in the form of reviews and such!)