Chapter 2

Erik glared at the list before him.

"Why do I have to go?"

"Because I can't buy all of this myself." Christine said firmly. "It won't kill you to pick up a few presents."

"Why are we buying a gift for Piangi and Carlotta anyway?" Erik grumbled.

Christine sighed heavily.

"It's only polite, Erik, I worked with them and you threatened them. I wrote down everything that you need to buy, it's perfectly simple. But we must be back by four, the tree is being delivered."

"Why in God's name do we want a tree?" Erik demanded.

"Because it's Christmas! Now get out of that door before I punjab you with your own lasso!"

She could be very scary when she wanted to be.

Erik glared at the brightly lit shop window and then looked down at his list again.

"His and Her towels for Carlotta and Piangi."

He sniggered and wrote down,

"His and His towels for Firmin and Andre."

Markedly cheered by his own wit, he set off down the street. His mood was improved still further by tripping a small child up. The child started wailing and his harassed looking mother had to put down about fifty shopping bags and parcels in order to calm the child, who was now throwing a tantrum to rival that of a Hollywood actress.

Christmas shopping wasn't so bad after all, Erik thought as he went into a shop. As the towels were being wrapped in obnoxiously cheerful paper, Erik read the rest of the list.

Meg - New Chinese Throwing Stars

Marie – New cane.

Firmin and Andre – A nice bottle of wine each. NICE ONES ERIK! (This had been crossed out with Erik's new idea next to it)

Where would one purchase Chinese Throwing Stars, Erik wondered? The new cane was a puzzler as well. Some sort of weapons shop, perhaps? As he left the shop, he stopped a passing gentleman and asked about the Throwing Stars, only to receive a very odd look before the man scurried away, muttering to himself.

Why did people always do that?

Erik had very few fears in life. Very few. But he gained a new one when he returned from shopping to find a monstrous green mound in the corner of his cellar. He dumped the packages onto a chair and stared at it in horror.

"Christine?"

"Yes dear?"

"What the hell is that?"

"That is our Christmas tree, dear. Did you get everything on the list?"

"And a few extra things. That is not a tree, it is a genetic experiment." Erik said, examining the hideous foliage. Christine came out, carrying a large box which was overflowing with tinsel and those creepy little Father Christmas models that nobody really likes but every household possesses anyway.

She cast a critical eye over the gifts.

"We'll wrap them later. Let's get the tree decorated." She began to fling tinsel all over the place. Erik watched her, appalled. What had happened to his wife? Why had she become a tinsel-loving, tree-hugging Christmas freak?

He decided there was only one comfort available. A glass of milk. He ducked under a bauble that had been thrown towards him and dashed towards the kitchen. Taking out his favourite glass, he filled it to the brim with the delicious white drink. And then something caught his eye.

"Christine?" He called, peering at the calendar.

"Yes, dear?"

"Why is my mother's name written on Saturday?"

"Because she's coming to stay for Christmas. Did you pick up that bottle of wine for the dinner? Nadir's coming over and I'm doing lasagne."

There was no reply. Christine frowned and went into the kitchen.

"Erik? Oh, for crying out loud…"

He had passed out on the floor.

"You invited his MOTHER?" Nadir said incredulously down the phone. Christine sighed.

"I thought it would be nice to have her stay for Christmas."

"Christine, have you ever met Erik's mother?"

"No. He didn't even invite her to our wedding!"

"That's because she thinks he's a banker! Christine, don't you remember that conversation we had about this?"

"Of course I do. But she's my mother-in-law, I want to meet her!"

"And how, exactly, do you plan to explain to her that her son is NOT a banker but haunts the local opera house, lives in a cellar and regularly threatens the occupants of the aforementioned opera house?"

"… I'm sure she'll take it quite well." Christine said weakly.

Nadir groaned and Christine noticed Erik's eyelids flickering.

"Oh, he's coming around. We'll see you at dinner?"

"Fine. See you tonight."

Christine hung up hastily and put on her best 'everything's wonderful' smile. Erik blinked and then rubbed his head.

"I had the most horrible dream that you invited my mother to stay for Christmas." He said. Christine laughed nervously.

"Well, actually…"

"No. No. Christine, what have you done?" Erik said in horror. Christine pouted.

"Erik, I want to meet your mother! I'm sure everything will be fine."

"Fine? FINE? Well, YOU explain all this to her!" Erik shouted, getting to his feet. "YOU can explain why I live in a cellar and what I do for a living!"

"Why do I have to do it? You're the one who lied to her! I haven't even MET the woman!"

"You're the one who invited her for Christmas!" Erik roared.

"You're the one who didn't even invite her to our wedding!"

"Oh, so this is all MY fault now?"

"IT'S ALWAYS BEEN YOUR FAULT!"

They stood glaring at each other, both breathing heavily with gritted teeth. Eventually Christine took a deep breath and said.

"Look… we will handle this together, alright? Everything will be fine."

"That's what you think. You don't know her." Erik said miserably. "Don't get me wrong, I love my mother but this is too much. I can't put up with her for four days."

"Seven. I invited her for a week."

She groaned as Erik passed out for a second time.

A/N: I know, I know, this was supposed to be up last night. But I do have a good excuse. I was helping my friend move house and pack for a university interview this weekend. Then, when I finally got home, we had a powercut and I couldn't get on the computer. But there will be a third chapter up tonight!

Love from

Katie