A/N: This chapter is a tribute to everyone at PFN and PPN. They gave me the questions and it was really hard to choose some to go in! Thanks to all who came up with the questions!

Chapter Four

84 questions later, they were very nearly finished. It had been a traumatising few hours. Nadir was enjoying himself greatly, watching in amusement and snacking on treats as Madeline interviewed the couple.

Here is a sample of the questions:

Q: How did you meet?

Christine's Answer: Erik tutored me in music.

Erik's Answer: I spied on her for a few years, pretended to be an angel and taught her to sing properly because everyone in the Opera Populaire is imbecilic. Excepting the Giry woman. I suppose.

Q: Why wasn't I invited to the wedding?

Christine's Answer: It was all so rushed, a very spur-of-the-moment affair.

Erik's Answer: Uh… have some more tea, Mother.

Q: How many children are you planning on having?

Christine's Answer: I… well, we really haven't discussed it.

Erik's Answer: I despise children, you know that Mother.

By this point, Madeline had pursed her lips disapprovingly and Christine and Erik were hissing at each other under their breath. Nadir was chortling delightedly and got to his feet.

"Well… I'd better run. You'll want some family time."

"Won't you stay for dinner?" Christine asked desperately but Nadir simply snorted before composing himself.

"No, no, I er… have a previous commitment."

And he was gone. Christine and Erik both mentally added him to their to-Punjab lists.

"Erik, Madeline and I are going to wash up. Can you keep yourself out of trouble for a while?" Christine said after dinner. Erik scowled.

"I am capable, yes. I'll be on the computer, checking my emails."

Once he'd opened his email account, he groaned. Several months ago his email address had leaked out and ever since he'd been receiving strange messages from phans. There was something wrong with these people. Something in the water, perhaps? He blamed television himself.

Oh, and Andrew Lloyd Webber. He had a lot to answer for as well.

Thankfully there were only a few new emails. He opened one and read it.

Dear monsieur le Fantome,


I'm one of the many phans of yours for as you MUST know you have a phanclub. First of all I would like to congratulate you about your opera which was in one word wonderful. The music, the feeling...blah blah blah.


The best in your opera was the end! I mean wow flying with the girl was the best part! But then again you would lose her one way or another. Ahem! Now about that what the HELL were you thinking by letting her go with that fop! Man! You let 3000000000000000000...000 phans in the world with this question! What happened to the cold-blood phantom we all knew and loved? Just for a damn kiss (which by the way was awful) you let her go. Well that's all I wanted to say. Anyway man you rule, your opera rocks and your lair rocks.

Tigerlily

His faith in the human race dropped several notches and it hadn't been high before. Erik opened a new message.

Mademoiselle Tigerlily

You have been officially blocked by the Phantom of the Opera. Attempt to contact me again and you will find your computer to be virus-ridden

Sincerely

O.G.

PS: Yes, my lair is rather good.

Erik smirked as he sent the message, opening another.

M. Fantome-
Exactly how much money did you rake in from blackmailing the managers? Do you like to tango? And exactly how many languages do you speak? Call it foreshadowing, but trust me, it's a really bad idea to drop large lighting fixtures. I mean it. Go play your organ or something. If Christine could be yours, but only in a more fatherly/angel of music aspect would you want to have her with you? What size pants do you wear? Do you have different masks for every day of the week? And where did you learn to pole a gondola? Can yours hands span over an octave on the piano?


So. I hear you teach voice... I like singing, beach walks and romantic ice creams.
Yours forever- I mean truly! truly.

Dear whoever

The amount of money I made was sufficient. No, I do not tango. I speak 12 languages fluently and can adequately insult people in four more.

You drop a lighting fixture and see how very enjoyable it is. I refuse to answer any questions regarding Christine.

I also refuse to discuss the size of my pants. I have two everyday masks and several for special occasions, such as the punjabbing of irritating phans. Poling a gondola is a natural talent and yes, I can span my hands.

I have no interest in your singing, I despise the beach and my teeth are too sensitive to eat ice cream.

Sincerely

O.G.

Dear Erik,


I'm bored with my life. Can I move in with you? I don't take up much room, and I want to be a Phantom too when I'm a big boy.
Your greatest phan, FAB

Dear FAB

Go to hell. I'll probably meet you there.

Sincerely

O.G

And that was quite enough of that, Erik decided, turning off the computer.

"Oh, yes, he was quite an adorable little boy. Ignore that silly Leroux fellow, he was simply lovely. And whatever that Kay woman was on, she needs to get off it sharpish." Madeline said cheerfully. Christine giggled and said,

"What about the circus though?"

"Oh, that. Well, Erik took it into his head that he was unloved and, like all little boys, decided the best solution was to run away and join the circus."

"Why did he think he was unloved?" Christine pressed.

Erik cleared his throat and began,

"Mother, I really don't think we need to discuss that-"

"I didn't buy him the toy he wanted for Christmas one year." Madeline said carelessly. Christine snorted with laughter, clamping her hands over her mouth to try and stifle the chortles. Erik scowled at her.

"Mother!"

"What?" Madeline said innocently. Christine fanned herself with a hand.

"I didn't realise he'd always been that way!"

"What way?" Erik demanded.

"So spoilt. Admit it Erik, you always have to get your way."

"I most certainly do not!"

"Oh, you do TOO! Remember what happened when the managers refused to take Carlotta out of Il Muto because you told them to? You ruined her voice!" Christine said. Madeline looked appalled.

"Erik!"

"She deserved it, Mother. And THAT, Christine, was to further your career." Erik said sulkily. Christine looked back at Madeline.

"What else can you tell me about him?"

"Nothing. I think it's time that we all went to bed." Erik interrupted.

"I think you might be right, Erik. I've had a long journey and I'm rather tired." Madeline said, glancing at the clock.

Once they were all tucked up in bed, Christine looked at Erik.

"You're sulking, aren't you?"

"No." He sulked.

"Oh, don't be silly. I only want to know about your past because I love you."

"Huh."

"Fine. Be that way." Christine muttered, rolling to face away from him. Erik glared at the back of her head. "I know you're glaring, Erik. Stop it."

How did she do that? One of life's many mysteries, Erik supposed, settling down to sleep.