Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective owners and not me with some exceptions. Only this story is mine, nothing else. Please read and review. Helpful reviews welcome, flames shall be ignored and/or deleted. Enjoy.
AN: For those of you wondering why I didn't use the Cheshire cat instead of the phoenix, my reason is simple. The Cheshire cat is Alice's familiar, not Harry's, and while the two may be close, I seriously doubt they would share the same familiar. Also, as far as anyone knows at this point, the Cheshire cat exists ONLY in wonderland.
Malice Magic
By Demonabyss
Harry walked through the Hogwarts Express as he thought back to Diagon Alley. When he had met up with Snape, needless to say the Professor was shocked at his choice of familiar, though he didn't show it. After the initial shock, they had gone to the Leaky Cauldron with the bird on Harry's arm looking at everyone, Snape included, like a potential meal. There, Snape explained all about Voldemort, the Death Eaters, and why he was so famous despite so few people recognizing him. Apparently he had defeated the Dark Lord when he was a baby, ending the dark times, thus making people see him as a hero. Harry had taken it all in though neither he nor Alice were fooled. He was hiding something, something important and Harry was determined to find out what. He decided to keep a close eye on that one.
Harry had no trouble with the Dursleys bringing him to the train station. While he couldn't do magic just yet, without the ministry finding him, he could threaten to sick Orion on them, which would be very funny in his and Alice's opinion. Though he still had to be careful, he had a feeling he had been placed at the Dursleys for a reason and he wanted to know that reason before he killed them. Well that, and he didn't want to get caught. What was the point of killing someone if you weren't free to enjoy it? He had found the train simply by following a family of red heads who seemed to know about Hogwarts. Most were dressed in old shabby clothes but that was of no concern to Harry. He got on the Hogwarts Express with little fuss, again with no one recognizing him just yet.
The dark haired boy came to a compartment with two people in it, two very strange people. One was a boy about his age with short red hair in common muggle clothes, a black tee shirt with the phrase "Metal Man" on it in gold letters, worn blue jeans, and a worn pair of workman's gloves. He was typing furiously on what looked like an advanced laptop computer. His hands moved smoothly and much faster then Harry's eyes could follow, which impressed him considering he could spot creatures in Wonderland instantly who moved quite fast. The second person was a girl with glasses who, quite frankly, would look right at home in Wonderland. She too wore muggle clothes, but hers were drastically different. She wore a black tank top, a white coat with the sleeves ripped off, very worn jeans, fingerless gloves, and what looked like holsters holding very weird spray paint cans, at least half a dozen of them. Also, her hair was short and every color imaginable for hair, ranging from blonde, to red, to blue, to green, to yellow, to pink, to orange, to neon. On all of her clothes were specks of paint in almost every color imaginable. In sort, she looked like a walking paint factory. She seemed to be busily sketching something.
Neither looked up at him so he sat down next to the boy and just stared out the window. It was then the girl glanced at him for a moment then openly stared. After a minute she flipped a page in her book and started sketching something new at blinding speed. As Harry was about to turn and ask what she was doing she yelled at him. "DON'T MOVE!" He froze instantly from the force in her voice as she sketched even faster. Both he and Alice were now curious.
The boy next to him didn't look up as he spoke. "I would advise you remain still man. Once she gets going, nothing will stop her, I know, I've tried. I'm Axel "Metal Man" Cooploski and that is Naomi "Splatter Phoenix" Zatoa. As you've probably guessed she's an artist, and a fanatical one at that. I wouldn't get too close if I were you," the boy said with an American accent.
"How dare you beam bad karma you cracker box! Pay him no mind, now be like a statue so that I may shine and immortalize you," Naomi said in a quick, ecstatic manner also with an American accent. Harry just raised an eyebrow wondering what the hell she just said.
Axel quietly replied to his unspoken question. "Translation: How dare you say bad things about me. Don't listen to him and stay still so that I can sketch you. She always talks like that (though I still haven't figured out why). Don't worry about it; if you stay around her long enough you'll begin to understand what she says though everyone else will probably think you've lost your mind," he explained all without looking up from his computer. Harry chuckled at this statement, knowing he didn't really care if people thought him mad, which he was.
"I'm Harry, Harry Potter. This is your first year at Hogwarts?" he asked while remaining as still as possible. Naomi was no longer sketching and was now using colored pencils on whatever she was making.
"We be rookies, minor league ya dig dude? We flying blind, heading into twilight zone now," Naomi said once again in her own weird speech.
"Translation: Yes. We have no clue what to expect, though so far it doesn't seem that big a deal to me," Axel said as he continued to work on his computer.
Naomi just flashed a crazy smile while looking at both Axel and Harry. "Metal Man is big time into weird science. His parental units stand tall in cutthroat business world and are hard-core when it comes to all tech type matters." Harry just gave her another weird look signifying that he had no clue as to what she just said. He glanced at Axel who just chuckled.
"I'm an expert in technology. My parents own a powerful tech corporation. When I got my letter about me being a wizard, they were skeptical but then again stranger things have happened," he muttered the last part, making Harry wonder what he was referring to. The three continued to chat, more or less. Everything Naomi said had to be translated by Axel for Harry to be able to understand, though he was starting to get the gist of a little of it as did Alice. They got into their robes, with a good amount of Naomi's complaining about lack of vision and style by wizards.
"First years ta me, first years ta me," a large man yelled out. The three made their way towards him and got on the boats with another boy who seemed really nervous and was holding a toad.
When the three saw the massive castle each had different reactions. Naomi whistled in admiration. "Dang man, they gotta have some serious old school bling bling to have such a swanky pad, ya dig," she said in her usual style.
They entered the school mostly keeping to them selves as no one really noticed Harry yet, which was fine with him. They observed two specific students going at it. One was a red headed boy in shabby robes while the other was a blonde haired boy in much nicer robes. The red head was identified, as Weasley while the other was Malfoy. "Well Weasel, I see you parents stitched you together some robes again. What are they made of, dish rags or did you get the cloth right out of the garbage?" the blonde mocked.
"Shut up Malfoy," the red head snarled back. The two probably would have started fighting, much to the hope of Harry and his two new companions but it was stopped when a much older woman came up, silencing everyone.
"Welcome to Hogwarts, I am Professor McGonagall," the older lady said calmly. "The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great Hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony because, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, sleep in your house dormitory, and spend free time in your house common room. The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. Each house has its own noble history and each has produced outstanding witches and wizards. While you are at Hogwarts, your triumphs will earn your house points, while any rule breaking will lose house points. At the end of the year, the house with the most points is awarded the house cup, a great honor. I hope each of you will be a credit to whichever house becomes yours. Now follow me please," she said as she led the students into the Great Hall.
It was massive and lit up by hundreds of floating candles. Up above them was the image of the night sky. One girl near them mentioned it was spelled to look like that. Harry and his two new friends didn't pay any mind to her. None of them were impressed. Harry had seen greater then this in Wonderland, easily, Axel just commented on backwater wizards, and Naomi ranted on their lack of style and vision until Axel told her to clam up. To their sides were large tables where students sat, two on each side, and most likely one per house. In front of them was a stool with a shoddy-looking pointed hat on it. Behind the stool was a fifth table that was obviously for teachers and faculty. All around ghosts were flying around though this didn't bother Harry, Axel, or Naomi much as it did the other first years. Harry had seen far worse in Wonderland, Naomi far more exciting in her hometown, and Axel, well, his parents were far more unusual then this. Before any of them could comment, the hat in front of them started to sing of all things.
"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,
But don't judge on what you see,
I'll eat myself if you can find
A smarter hat than me.
You can keep your bowlers black,
Your top hats sleek and tall,
For I'm the Hogwarts Sorting Hat
And I can cap them all.
There's nothing hidden in your head
The Sorting Hat can't see,
So try me on and I will tell you
Where you ought to be.
You might belong in Gryffindor,
Where dwell the brave at heart,
Their daring, nerve, and chivalry
Set Gryffindors apart;
You might belong in Hufflepuff,
Where they are just and loyal,
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true
And unafraid of toil;
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,
If you've a ready mind,
Where those of wit and learning,
Will always find their kind;
Or perhaps in Slytherin
You'll make your real friends,
Those cunning folk use any means
To achieve their ends.
So put me on! Don't be afraid!
And don't get in a flap!
You're in safe hands (though I have none)
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"
'Huh, nothing hidden in my head it says? Boy is that piece of leather in for a surprise,' Harry thought with dark humor.
'Which surprise would that be? What it finds in your head or what it finds in mine?' Alice asked deviously. Harry got the mental impression of a grin from her. Not large enough to rival Cheshire's, but enough to make normal people worry. He wasn't normal so he didn't worry.
'Take your pick, either way this is going to be interesting,' Harry thought back as he watched the various students get sorted alphabetically. Soon it came up to his new friend.
"COOPLOSKI, AXEL," the Hat shouted as the red headed boy walked up. He sat and the hat was placed on his head. He didn't seem that surprised when he heard a voice speaking to him. 'Hmm, difficult indeed, a great deal of knowledge here, all about muggle science and technology, far more advanced then even wizards would dare to dream. Also a fierce loyalty to family and friends and courage and recklessness to something about it should they be in danger. Ah, little regard for rules and a fondness for destruction and explosions in particular. Only one place for you then,' the Hat said calmly. "SLYTHERIN!" it announced as Axel got up and sat at the table calmly.
The sorting continued until finally it came to a name only a few were expecting. "POTTER, HARRY," the name was called out and soon followed by a number of whispers as the black and red tipped haired boy went up to the stool with a smug look on his face, as if he was expecting something to happen. For anyone who had an inkling of what Harry private thoughts were like, it did.
The Hat jumped off the boy's head a minute after it was put on as if it were burned. Everyone was stunned to see the hat was shaking violently, like a trauma victim would. The Headmaster looked concerned as Professor McGonagall went over to put the Hat back on the boy's head. Surprisingly, the Hat protested. "I refuse to sort that boy! Albus, that boy should not be allowed here!" the Hat cried out in a frightened and frantic tone of voice. Everyone except Harry and his two companions was shocked witless. The Sorting Hat refused to sort someone? Was that even allowed, or possible for that matter?
Dumbledore looked calmly at the Hat, as if trying to decided what to do. "Regardless, it is your job to sort all students that have been accepted into Hogwarts and thus you must sort Mr. Potter," the headmaster replied in a voice that left little room for argument. Despite this, there was enough room for the Hat to argue.
"I would rather be burned then look into that one's mind again! You can sort him yourself because I will never do so!" the Sorting Hat said with a note of finality. The Headmaster just sighed as whispers continued to run through the hall. It was broken by the sound of cards being shuffled.
"Headmaster, if I may make a suggestion. Since that Hat refuses to sort me, why do we let luck and fate decide where I should go?" Harry calmly asked with a strange glint to his eye and twisted grin on his face. The man raised an eyebrow, as if wondering what this boy was up to. "I have a full deck here, fifty two cards, thirteen cards per suit, four suits in all. You draw a card at random from this deck and depending on the suit, will choose which house I go into. Clubs for Hufflepuff, diamonds for Ravenclaw, spades for Slytherin, and hearts for Gryffindor. How does that sound?" Harry asked slyly.
Everyone stared at him strangely, even Dumbledore, what was this boy thinking? "You want a deck of cards to decide your entire wizarding educational future? That's ridicules!" Professor McGonagall replied astounded.
"Is it any more ridicules then having a HAT decide your future?" Harry replied calmly. The teacher opened her mouth as if to reply but nothing came out. Apparently the boy had a point there.
Seeing no objection, Harry began to shuffle the strange looking deck in head hands at a blinding pace. It was obvious he was an expert card handler. The deck he held was larger then normal cards, with a strange stylized red A in a black setting. After a minute or two of shuffling he then held out the cards in a large fan like position with the pictures and numbers facing down so no one could see them. The Headmaster drew a card from the right side of the fan and looked at it. However, before anyone even saw it Harry smirked as if knowing what it was. "So you've chosen the ace of spades. To Slytherin I go," he said calmly.
All the teachers looked confused. "But Mr. Potter, the Headmaster chose the ace of hearts, not spades," McGonagall said confused and concerned.
"You would think so wouldn't you? Except for one thing," he said with a distinctively Slytherin smirk and held up the fan of cards to show everyone where each card was. Everyone was shocked to see that the cards were in PERFECT order. From left to right, they were in order from two to ace and suit wise went club, diamond, spade, and heart. Looking closer, people could see that the only card missing was in fact the ace of spades. "Don't try to trick a trickster Dumbledore as the saying goes. Now dispel that illusion and show everyone the truth won't you? This ceremony needs to move on," Harry said with slight satisfaction at the Headmaster's put off face as he dispelled the illusion to show that it was indeed the ace of spades and not hearts. He apparently wasn't expecting this, much to Harry's, Alice's, the Slytherins', and Snape's delight. Everyone else was just shocked while the Gryffindors felt cheated somehow.
"Oh yeah, Head honcho school master got busted, egg on his face big time," Naomi hooted much to most of the faculty's chagrin despite the fact that they weren't sure what she just said. Harry took his seat next to Axel who was grinning at his antics. The ceremony continued on while some still whispered over what Harry had done. The sorting continued until only Naomi Zatoa remained.
The multicolored girl went up and the Hat was placed on her head, despite her spiky hairstyle. 'Oh my, no regards for rules or boundaries when it comes to freedom of speech, courageous to a fault and unpredictable to boot. You deliberately speak like that for not only your individualism but also to confuse those you don't associate with, very clever. Very confusing and … colorful mind you have. Only one place for you,' the Hat said as it sorted through her mind and thoughts. "SLYTHERIN!" it called out. Naomi went and sat next to Harry and Axel who both looked pleased at her house placement, as did Alice who had taken a shine to these newcomers. The ruler of Wonderland was already considering … "inviting" these two to her realm to get "acquainted" with them. Oh yes, a disturbed boy with access to the insane magic of Wonderland, a logical and highly technological boy with an affection for explosions, and a fanatical girl of an artist all together under her guidance? This was going to be an … interesting year.
To those you wondering, I came up with Naomi and Axel on my own so they are mine. If you wish to use them then please contact me first, though Axel is based on an anime/cartoon show that I like. If you can guess which, please don't tell and ruin the surprise for later. I got the idea for Naomi's speech pattern from Dimitri from Sly Cooper 2 and 3. I wanted to create my own "Golden Trio" though I don't think that title will work for these three. Also, just because they're in Slytherin, doesn't mean they're safe from them, makes them easier targets if they live in the same area. Please Read and Review.