Chapter 3: Attack of the Cats
Having just been stuck to the wall with every type of adhesive known to hamster, you'd expect that Pretzel would be crying for help. Having added the concept that Pretzel had the brain of a small zucchini, you might find that Pretzel was not calling for rescue, but was attempting to see through Cappy's hat with his "x-ray vision."
"Pretzel sees your brain, Cappy!" He called.
"What an idiot." Cappy muttered. The hams had finally enjoyed a night of Pretzel free sleep, but breakfast however, being so that the kitchen was where Pretzel had been tacked, made eating their scrambled seeds and carrot cake considerably less enjoyable. The hams were just discussing how they could possibly tape his mouth shut, when a small white letter flew in from the window. The envelope was sealed with a large, black letter C, the mark of the cats. Several hams exchanged frightened looks. They stared at the letter for a few moments, until Boss tore it open with trembling paws. He read out loud…
Dear hamsters,
After considerable annoyances from the one you call Pretzel, (the hams glared at Pretzel who merely winked back) the society for cats around the town or S.C.A.T., have decided to wage war on you pestilent rodents. We will attack at dusk tonight so be prepared, not that it will save you. We expect you to fight back; it will make it a lot for fun for us. Be ready. Signed, General Whiskers, S.C.A.T. Leader and Main Advisor.
The hams shuddered. They erupted into a chorus of worries.
"What are we going to do!" yelled Pashmina.
"I don't want to fight!" Cappy shouted.
"Oakwee!" Penelope screamed.
"Penelope's right!" Sandy called.
"We need a plan!" Dexter said.
"Head on attack!" suggested Howdy.
"QUIET!" Boss screamed. "Dex is right, we need a plan!" Dexter smirked. "Anyham who has an idea, raise your paw now!" Pretzel raised his paw.
"Yes, Pretzel?" Boss said impatiently.
"Okay, so we get Jack and Jill to go up, like, this gnarly hill, and we, like, tell them to fetch a radical pail of water. But if Jack, like, falls down and totally trashes his crown, then Jill will have to like, go tumbling after, and then we lose."
The hams stared at him in confusion. "Does anyone have an idea that doesn't have to do with nursery rhymes?" Boss asked. Pretzel raised his paw.
"What?"
"I like blueberry pie!"
"Very nice" Boss said. "Anyone else?" Hamtaro raised his paw.
"Why don't we give everyone a part to do; we'll work together!"
"Great idea, Hamtaro!" Boss answered. "Howdy, Dexter, remember that energy seed shake you made for the ham-fair last year?" They nodded. "You guys need to make up a huge batch to keep us alert and energized!" Dexter and Howdy scurried off into the kitchen. "Maxwell, I need you to create that super stink bomb you made for the science fair."
"On it, chief!" Maxwell ran to his studies.
"Panda, Cappy, Oxnard, pour glue into balloons and toss them on the cats!"
"Got it!" They cried in Harmony.
"Ladies, I want you to make shields and armor." Boss cried.
"Yes, sir!" The girls called back.
"The rest of you will be coming with me in a head on attack! Now get to work!" The hams scampered off in many directions.
"What does Pretzel do?" Pretzel asked.
"Uhhh, you be the distraction." Boss said, walking out. Pretzel cheered.
Dusk came and you could not say that the hams had prepared lightly. Piles of stink bombs and glue filled balloons were stacked on the roof, ready to be thrown. Several bottles of energy drink had been stored in the kitchen. Everyham was coated in a thick layer of aluminum foil armor. They were ready.
"MEOW!" a cry was heard from outside the clubhouse. It was time. The hams scurried to their positions.
"ATTACK!" Boss cried from the roofs. All the hams had a swig of seed juice before going out. The rooftop guard pelted the cats with glue bombs. A few of the cats halted, their tails stuck to a tree, but most just leaped out of the way. The stink bombs were hurled. The stench got in some of the cat's eyes, but most shook it off and continued on.
"YAHHHH!" Boss shouted. He and his head on team jumped down from the roofs and landed right onto the back of a very angry feline. A huddle of cats jumped onto the cat's back and swatted at the hams, but Boss and the gang dodged every swipe and leaped onto another cat. Suddenly, a huge black cat took a particularly fierce swipe at Boss, and hit. Boss tumbled off the cat; a large gash appeared in his side. Bijou and Sandy scurried to help him. The cat plunged his paw into the clubhouse and pulled out Pretzel.
"Hi kitty, I like kitties, I used to have a kitty but it tried to eat me, he was a very bad kitty witty, yes he was, why are you attacking our clubhouse, I like this clubhouse very much so please don't hurt it, If you leave it I'll send you a muffin basket, with cranberry and poppy seed and oat and wheat and bran and banana nut and blueberry, I like blueberry especially blueberry pie, why are they even called blueberries, they're more purple than blue, well really a violet blue so I guess you can call them violet blueberries but that would be waaaay too long so I guess that's why they shortened it, it does sound better, what's your name, I'm pretzel, you look like a Mr. Fuzzy Pants, is that your name, you have a long tail, I just have a teeny weenie little hammy tail like all hamsters do because I am a hamster, and you are a cat, at least I think you are because you can't be a hamster because you'd be a silly looking hamster and you wouldn't fit in the club house and…"
"That's it!" The cat yelled. "I surrender! He's too crazy! Retreat!" The cats slunk back, their paws behind their ears."
"You did it Pretzel!" Pashmina yelled, carting Pretzel back into the kitchen.
"Does this mean Pretzel gets to come down?" Pretzel asked.
"No!" called the ham hams and they taped him on the wall again.
Hey guys! Hoped ya liked this chapter! More to come soon. When you review, tell me your 3 fave ham hams and why u luv em! I.e.: Oxnard is #1 because he's fat like my dog and grey like my cat. Jingle is #2 cause he's a musician/poet like me! And Snoozer is #3 cause he's tired but never ignores a ham in need! This info will be used for later chapters. I need a lot of opinions so tell your friends!